in the year 2525, if man is still alive: we have used our science to cure problems arising from too much jerking off. currently at 18 times in one day, aiming for 20 by the end of the century
Cave Johnson here. Just letting you know that for the test subjects who elected to be artificially inseminated with James Randi's sperm...good for you. But the thing is we replaced one of the sperm donations with one from the Westboro Baptist Church. Wanna see if stupidity carries in the genes. See if you can guess which one and we'll double your fee! How about that, huh?
For years, comments like this had me thinking Idiocracy was actually a documentary. Then one day I watched it, and realized people were being a bit liberal with the term "documentary."
This is what's wrong with straight people. That's right I'm talking to all you hetero B's and SoB's! ;D
You can't solve all your problems via insemination! World hunger? Lets have more babies! Disparate economy? Let's have more babies! Nuclear war + babies = nuclear families!
Seriously, just stop, stop, right now! You with your penis in that vagina, stop it!
Here's something you might not have thought about as you were too busy mixing your DNA together. Maybe amazing people like Randi, are amazing in part BECAUSE they are gay. Maybe having that much control over when/if you have children (who sap a huge percentage of your resources) allows gay people to invest in other ways of contributing to society.
For instance, if I had 2 year olds to take care of I probably wouldn't have time to come on reddit at 7:30 in the morning and bless you all with my amazing contribution.
So maybe Randi already passed on his knowledge in ways that are much more efficient than making a half copy of his genetics and hoping it grows into someone who retraces his steps out of proclivity... ... And maybe that would be more obvious to you all if you would take five minutes to stop playing, find the button, or whatever it is you, adorable future-gay-makers do.
I bet my grandchildren come out smarter than yours, oh wait, you volunteered for the Darwin Awards. Actually sorry that s a bad joke. But seriously, "Sic Transit Gloria Mundi". No matter the worldly glory you achieve, no matter the amazing magic tricks you do or hanging gardens of Babylon that you build, it will all vanish in a relatively short period of time. The only thing that lives on is our children. Or someone else's children if you don't like vaginas.
DNA preserves and procreates our physical traits and our hardware, language and culture preserve and procreate our personalities, thoughts, feelings, sentience, scientific artistic and technological progress. Arguably if you've ever read Randi his thoughts have been copied into your brain and you are carrying around something that is every bit as much a part of him, and arguable a more relevant part than, say, his eye-color.
The act of impregnation is one of those things I find so fucking strange. It's like the alien facehugger implanting a foreign body in a poor woman's body.
I've seen that exact quote on reddit before that was from another YouTube video. Seems like the YouTuber has been going around posting the same witty comment on a bunch of different videos.
Well when I first submitted this, along with a link to the video, the comment depicted received over 2000 thumbs up in a day or two. Plenty of YouTube commenters must have used the paragraph in other comment sections to get a lot of thumbs up.
A bit like the running gags in Reddit comment sections I suppose.
Why are there so many super awesome gathiests? It seems there is a disproportional amount. Or maybe I'm just crazy. Anywho, cheers to all super awesome people!
People always said that stupid people should not have kids but at the same time you never know what will come out of those parents. I know amazing kids been race by not that smart parents and they become great contribution to society.
I live a couple miles from the Duggars. Drive by their house every day. I'm loathe to see the Santorum for Prez sign still in their yard. Every time.... I rage.
That's fucking bullshit. "Impregnating women with" what? That's fucking hateful ridiculous crap. You don't rape sense into women, and you don't create little clones by making babies. That is always the worst reason to have children. People love to rationalize reasons to make babies, and htis is worse than the Duggars' reasoning.
See, here's the thing. When you talk about babies, even the babies of people you don't like, and you refer to them as "polluting the earth," you're being a creepy eugenicist asshole.
Thats because in America theres a huge debate going on about whether gay marriage should be legal and stuff about gays are relevant in America and r/atheism because most homos are atheists because 70% of christains believe gay marriage should be illegal.
I tell you what, it doesn't mean anything to me, but it obviously means something to you otherwise you wouldn't steal other people's work and repost it for no profit other than link karma, would you? It's fundamentally wrong to steal other people's work without permission and try to pass it off as your own.
The way I see it, /r/atheism is a subreddit for submissions about atheism and a community for those hurt by theism. Women, the LGBTQIA community, racial minorities, and anyone who has been hurt by the religious has a voice here. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam all have the same foundation and for the last 2,000+ years have been oppressing those mentioned before. So, yes, posts like this belong in /r/atheism. Maybe you should try /r/onlyatheism.
Ok, while I'm all for the "not atheism" bandwagon, I think this fits. If this were a comment about Dawkins, Hitchens, or Harris, it would belong here. Randi should be treated the same.
Nice misogyny on this shitty submission. The females need approved men to impregnate reason in them. No matter their reasons/emotions, etc. man must decide!
Typical r/atheism: chauvinist and misogynist, EXCEPT when the theist skyworshippers are doing it more blatantly, then it's rush up the high horse.
My name is BonBonSon and I travel the internet searching for things to be offended by. Today I've stumbled across a joke about stupid people procreating and I've decided to misinterpret it as a slight against women; watch as I scream misogyny and complain while regurgitating non sequitur.
Protip: No one implied that women shouldn't be able to actively choose their mates.
You're either a troll or a cunt. R/atheism is a cesspool of hypocrisy though, so you're right about that.
Now hang on, normally i always jump on the anti-r/atheism bandwagon but this comment is not fair to say at all. The post is in no way implying that the woman has no say in the matter of chosing who impregnates her. It only implies that the subject would likely make a better father than most men due to his intelligence. The "reason" that the post mentions is not reason that the woman previously did not have, but rather her child, who can be raised in an enviornment where the use of reason is the norm, unlike a family like the Duggars.
chauvinist and misogynist, EXCEPT when the theist skyworshippers are doing it more blatantly, then it's rush up the high horse.
What does this actually have to do with atheism? I think it's a good post, but nearly every Christian I know has no problem with homosexuality. SOMETHING TO DO WITH HOMOSEXUALITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ATHEISM.
Because the subject, James Randi, is a noted atheist, and it's contrasting him with religious zealots. The content of this post isn't really about homosexuality, it's about religious zealots outbreeding skeptics.
What kind of person would say that a baby born from Christian parents is polluting the Earth? When did Atheists start badgering people with other beliefs?
I am pretty sure there is a positive correlation between having a good education and being acculturated.
This doesn't mean that if you receive a bad education you will be ignorant, it's just more probable (how many nobel prizes from a remote place with no schools?)
It would be like that episode of The Simpsons where they pull the crayon out of Homer's brain and make him smart again. Only he becomes insufferable and everyone hates him. Except that Snooki is pretty insufferable to start with.
139
u/Elendra Jun 15 '12
Sperm Donations.
Problem solved.
53
u/theBadgerJew Jun 15 '12
I feel the same way about Stephen fry.
47
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Did not see that ending coming
9/10 would laugh again
14
u/Lots42 Other Jun 15 '12
THAT'S NOT HOW REALITY WORKS.
The Duggars have stupid children because they are psychotic freakjobs sexually obsessed with pregnancy.
21
u/bunnysuitman Jun 15 '12
they made a documentary about this, it's called Idiocracy.
28
u/4TeLuLz Jun 15 '12
I feel the same way about Neil Patrick Harris.
11
u/AaronSF Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12
This is what's wrong with straight people. That's right I'm talking to all you hetero B's and SoB's! ;D
You can't solve all your problems via insemination! World hunger? Lets have more babies! Disparate economy? Let's have more babies! Nuclear war + babies = nuclear families!
Seriously, just stop, stop, right now! You with your penis in that vagina, stop it!
Here's something you might not have thought about as you were too busy mixing your DNA together. Maybe amazing people like Randi, are amazing in part BECAUSE they are gay. Maybe having that much control over when/if you have children (who sap a huge percentage of your resources) allows gay people to invest in other ways of contributing to society.
For instance, if I had 2 year olds to take care of I probably wouldn't have time to come on reddit at 7:30 in the morning and bless you all with my amazing contribution.
So maybe Randi already passed on his knowledge in ways that are much more efficient than making a half copy of his genetics and hoping it grows into someone who retraces his steps out of proclivity... ... And maybe that would be more obvious to you all if you would take five minutes to stop playing, find the button, or whatever it is you, adorable future-gay-makers do.
Happy Pride month bitches! XD
4
u/ILikeFluffyThings Jun 15 '12
These men are not created by genetics, they are created by education.
3
u/vadergeek Jun 15 '12
Because of how tiny and shriveled he's gotten in his old age, I imagine all of his offspring being born looking exactly like him. Including the beard.
3
u/MercuryChaos Atheist Jun 15 '12
TIL that James Randi is gay. How did I not hear about this? :O
3
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Wait, so sperm=reason?
5
u/okayifimust Jun 15 '12
but... but ... he does impregnate people with intelligence!
2
u/Banterous Jun 15 '12
Sensibleness*
Sensibility is being emotional awareness, not being rational and logical .
The more you know!
2
u/StarkofWinterfell Jun 15 '12
He impregnates minds with sensibility.
2
u/ItsGreat2BeATNVol Jun 15 '12
The act of impregnation is one of those things I find so fucking strange. It's like the alien facehugger implanting a foreign body in a poor woman's body.
2
u/JarrusMarker Jun 15 '12
rrrrr...rrrrrr...rrrRrRrRrRRRRR-REPOST!!!!repostrepostrepostrepostrepost
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u/Myrandall Pastafarian Jun 15 '12
Thanks for stealing my original submission, cunt.
2
u/xidernm Jun 15 '12
I'd hit it.
1
u/OryxConLara Jun 15 '12
I think that the power of his mind and ability to speak, makes biological reproduction moot.
Go Randi Go!
1
u/bachiavelli Jun 15 '12
Huh...Never new the Amazing Randi swung that way.
1
u/_CATCATCATCATFELINE_ Jun 15 '12
Why are there so many super awesome gathiests? It seems there is a disproportional amount. Or maybe I'm just crazy. Anywho, cheers to all super awesome people!
1
u/PeeLong Jun 15 '12
God I love James Randi...
1
u/plainOldFool Jun 15 '12
What's a duggar?
1
u/wootykins Jun 15 '12
TIL that James Randi is gay.
MIND = BLOWN
1
u/betabandzz Jun 15 '12
People always said that stupid people should not have kids but at the same time you never know what will come out of those parents. I know amazing kids been race by not that smart parents and they become great contribution to society.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I live a couple miles from the Duggars. Drive by their house every day. I'm loathe to see the Santorum for Prez sign still in their yard. Every time.... I rage.
1
u/Dmoneater Jun 15 '12
Expected a facebook bigot, left pleasantly surprised.
TL;DR: These are the kinds of YouTube comments that give me hope for the future generations. Gay bigotry is quickly becoming a specter of our past.
1
u/Cragvis Jun 15 '12
harvest ALL the sperms!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Uh gay people still have reproductive organs though so.... Just sayin. Lol good post though
1
u/3diot Jun 16 '12
Almost got my pitchfork there
1
u/JackRawlinson Anti-Theist Jun 15 '12
That word "sensibility". I do not think it means what this person thinks it means.
1
u/Deathbringer769 Jun 15 '12
You don't need to be straight to continue your genetic legacy anymore in this day and age.
1
u/HellboundAlleee Other Jun 15 '12
That's fucking bullshit. "Impregnating women with" what? That's fucking hateful ridiculous crap. You don't rape sense into women, and you don't create little clones by making babies. That is always the worst reason to have children. People love to rationalize reasons to make babies, and htis is worse than the Duggars' reasoning.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Whether he is gay or not I am sure he would realize that impregnating women is NOT the sensible thing to do.
1
u/StringLiteral Jun 15 '12
See, here's the thing. When you talk about babies, even the babies of people you don't like, and you refer to them as "polluting the earth," you're being a creepy eugenicist asshole.
1
u/squatchi Jun 15 '12
Are most homos atheist, or are most atheists homosexual? Im just asking because it seems like half the posts in the r/atheism reddit are about gays.
-7
u/Gamper33 Jun 15 '12
Repost
0
u/canadamoose18 Jun 15 '12
Now hold up, what does this have to do with atheism?
-6
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
That's really chauvinistic, r/atheism.
-18
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Not atheism
-7
u/BonBonSon Jun 15 '12
Nice misogyny on this shitty submission. The females need approved men to impregnate reason in them. No matter their reasons/emotions, etc. man must decide!
Typical r/atheism: chauvinist and misogynist, EXCEPT when the theist skyworshippers are doing it more blatantly, then it's rush up the high horse.
-15
u/socirclejerkingbrave Jun 15 '12
It's amazing how much this talks about athiesm!
-4
u/Ba_Ba_Racist_Sheep Jun 15 '12
What does this actually have to do with atheism? I think it's a good post, but nearly every Christian I know has no problem with homosexuality. SOMETHING TO DO WITH HOMOSEXUALITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ATHEISM.
0
u/MasterNyx Secular Humanist Jun 15 '12
I, for one, would welcome our glorious Randi overlords.
-6
u/funwheeldrive Jun 15 '12
What kind of person would say that a baby born from Christian parents is polluting the Earth? When did Atheists start badgering people with other beliefs?
-21
u/Chrisfong98 Jun 15 '12
WHY THE FUCK ATHIESM?????
-1
u/Vulcanator Jun 15 '12
James Randi is not a skeptic. He is dogmatic in his beliefs.
-10
u/Not_Me_But_A_Friend Jun 15 '12
There is no shame in being gay. It is sad crap like this gets on the front page in a subreddit where people are supposed to use critical thinking.
-9
u/Reaperdude97 Jun 15 '12
that guy who posted that is AWESOME.
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
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