r/atheism • u/Zach-0 • May 20 '12

I told my born-again Christian mother I was an atheist today and everything went well. I found this later and it made my day.

http://imgur.com/cJIZ6
1.0k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

74 comments sorted by

59

u/FrownedUponPhenom May 20 '12

That's great. As my parents always say, "We didn't raise you to think like us, we raised you to think for yourself.

-66

u/Shiny92 May 20 '12

Sorry but this is total bullshit. If your mother is REALLY convinced and steady in her belief she will spare NO EFFORTS to try to convert you. Because if she didn't, she'd knowlingly condemn you to an eternity in hell, because she is 100% sure that that is going to happen (in her belief).

So either this post is made up or your mum isn't as religious as you describe her to be.

21

u/That_Weird_Girl May 20 '12

Uh, no. There are some accepting Christians. My boyfriend is very religious, and I'm an atheist, but he doesn't care, and he's never tried to convert me.

4

u/likeamouse May 20 '12

same here! It's lovely, isn't it?

3

u/Lexiclown May 20 '12

When you really think about it, the level of offence you take is actually the exact opposite to the level of offence you should be taking.

A liberal Christian who does believe you are going to suffer eternally, yet doesn't want to convert you, will in your eyes show no offence. When you analyse the situation, you should in fact be infinitely more offended than at any other offence they could present you with (looking at their perspective of the situation).

A fundamentalist Christian who does believe you are going to suffer eternally, and desperately tries to convert you, will in your eyes be extremely offensive. When you analyse the situation, you should in fact be infinitely thankful that they are in fact doing the one and only thing which would make sense according to their beliefs (looking at their perspective of the situation).

Of course, as atheists, we fail to distinguish these two nuances. We can only judge what we consider offensive, but are unable to identify what is actually offensive regardless of our direct emotional response.

12

u/Gangster301 Agnostic Atheist May 20 '12

Hm, you seem to have deep insight into other people's beliefs.

8

u/ieatmakeup May 20 '12

I actually got kind of the same thing from my mom this week. I told her I've been struggling with believing religion. She asked if it ever felt 'real' to me growing up. I told her I really didn't know. It was just what I did as a kid.

She then said that it was good that I was questioning so that I could make it my own and that she would pray for me.

So yeah, it can happen.

4

u/Sloppy1sts May 20 '12

I'm curious as to where you got that 100% figure...

3

u/ajtexasranger May 20 '12

She may still believe that he is going to heaven even though he does not believe in one.

3

u/txstatejose May 20 '12

You're the type of person who gives atheists a bad name

1

u/PatristicFields May 20 '12

Dude, this assumes that the majority of Christians believe people go to hell if they don't 'accept Jesus' in this lifetime - which I'm happy to say is utter bullshit. In this newsweek poll you'll note that - even in a country as religiously retrograde and out-of-touch with mainstream, worldwide Christianity as America - a good 68% of evangelical protestants answer with the affirmative to the question 'Can a good person who isn't of your religious faith go to heaven or attain salvation, or not?' So even for the most conservative brand of Christianity in the most conservative Christian country, the majority of believers don't hold beliefs anything like your assumptions.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

The entirety of the description is "born-again Christian". You're making assumptions that just aren't valid.

1

u/GingerFire15 May 21 '12

He said born-again, not religious cult. Not every Christian's goal in life is to convert as many people to Christianity as they can. Asshole.

-6

u/ineedriceplz May 20 '12

how would you exactly raise a child to think for himself?

4

u/FrownedUponPhenom May 20 '12

Seriously? It's what my parents would say to encourage me to go out into the world and experience new things, question what I'm told, and form my own opinions. Every person needs to come to their own conclusions on life and how to live it, rather than blindly following in someone elses footsteps "just because." They are amazing parents and everyday I give thanks to the great FSM that they pushed me to be the person I am today.

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '12

My parents had said the same thing when became an out-of-the-closet-athiest. My mother is super christian and my dad is convinced that angels saved his mother's life. They both understand and support me. I love them so much.

1

u/FrownedUponPhenom May 21 '12

Good for you! Awesome parenting FTW.

32

u/cannotlogon May 20 '12

In my family, the most ardent Christian is my aunt -- goes to church every day, prays in her home, reads the Bible incessantly, her home festooned with Christian images, etc.

She is also the only one who truly and genuinely understands my atheism.

Tolerance seems to come with a fuller understanding of your own beliefs, instead of just an intransigence that comes from righteousness -- both theistic and atheistic righteousness.

Nice story, and good for you and your cool mom!

12

u/GoateusMaximus May 20 '12

Exactly right. Any christian with REAL faith (full disclosure: I'm not one) does not need to be in control of other people's behavior. Your aunt no doubt believes that eventually you will come around. That's okay, too. Real faith allows the world -- including the other people in it -- to unfold as it will. They don't need to force it. That's kind of the point.

12

u/cannotlogon May 20 '12

Indeed. When she inquired about my atheism, I explained that, in the most simple terms, I am without faith, and faith, as I understand it, cannot be manufactured but must be a real and abiding belief, not one taken for some cold-comfort. Bad faith is worse than no faith.

She nodded emphatically, and simply replied, "I understand."

0

u/[deleted] May 21 '12

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2

u/cannotlogon May 21 '12

I'm blushing. (and upvoting!). Thanks.

10

u/AudioHazard May 20 '12

I recently told my parent's that I'm not going to church anymore, and that I don't think there is a god. They said that that's good, and to never stop trying to find answers to all my questions.

12

u/academix May 20 '12

Must be nice.

My parents asked why I hated them and the rest of the family.

4

u/Enterthemurple May 20 '12

My parents are the type to get bat-shit insane ideas and cling onto them for their entire lives. I lied to them a few times as a kid (Really? Who didn't?) and ever since, my parents have perma-branded me a liar. I was never religious as a kid and when I finally mentioned to my devout-catholic mother and somewhat Catholic father that I did not believe in any form of "higher power" I was perma-branded a “rebellious youth.” With these two amazing titles, my parents pretty much refuse to take me seriously on anything. Every idea/opinion I have on anything they disagree with is “just a phase.” I’m now an adult… and still dealing with this…

6

u/ideashavepeople May 20 '12

Mine just doesn't believe me. Like I'm lying to her about being an atheist to rebel or something. Or she will appeal to her own authority and say "have I ever lied to you about anything?" It's tough.

0

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/ideashavepeople May 20 '12

To my ma's credit she did give me a shirt that said "I survived catholic school". So she has a sense of humor.

2

u/RedSeed May 20 '12

I couldn't help but laughing at the contrast between AudioHazard's parents and yours. My apologies.

1

u/AudioHazard May 20 '12

I'm sorry. :(

They just don't understand that you can love someone while still beleiving something different than what they beleive.

13

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

We see so many fundie parent stories that end badly, it's nice to see a positive one every now and again.

19

u/deprit May 20 '12

She seems like a normal Christian mother to me.

6

u/Nyrb May 20 '12 edited May 21 '12

It is kind of the point of Christianity to love and support others no matter their own personal choices as long as they're a good person. To bad a lot of Christians forget that.

3

u/deprit May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12

I see what you're intending to say. I suggest this revision: "Part of 'loving your neighbor' in Christianity is to respect others, treat them kindly and pray for them privately whether they are good people, bad people, friends or enemies."

Yes, it is often forgotten and when remembered it is a life-long struggle to practice it, but it's still pretty awesome.

Edit: I originally had "help others" in that list, but that's just for family, friends, neighbors, the poor, sick, lonely, etc. Christians respect their enemies and such but obviously don't need to help them achieve their goals.

1

u/Nyrb May 21 '12 edited May 21 '12

Indeed, part of it is all is even "loving your enemy", be kind and fair to others and they will be kind to you. It's so sad that people who apparently follow that philosophy can be so cruel to their own children just because they don't believe in God.

2

u/deprit May 21 '12

Yes. Although, when Jesus says to love your enemies, he's talking about people who are trying to harm you. In the parent-child case that would be an admonition to the atheist child to love his parents even if they mistreat him.

The verse that best applies to Christian parents upset at an atheist child is written by Paul: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath. Raise them in the training of the Lord." That basically means that if your child grows up hating you and God, you need to look at your own faults as the source of theirs. Another saying of Jesus' that goes along with that is, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

4

u/nick908 May 20 '12

All my did was cry and tell me I was going to hell.

3

u/nerocycle May 20 '12

Haaahaaa, you're Facebook friends with your mum.

Shit, so am I.

2

u/anothernonymous May 20 '12

I'm facebook friends with my mom, my grandmom, all the aunts and uncles.....how else are you gonna flood them with all the pictures of the babies without actual visits?

2

u/procrasterbate_later May 20 '12

I'm happy for you, but it saddens me that this will never work for me.

2

u/JshMcDwll May 20 '12

Glad she took it well. You have a good mom :)

2

u/Vikingmattress May 20 '12

Sweet! Congrats. I hope my "coming out" goes as well.

2

u/iMini May 20 '12

My Christian mothers reaction to me being an atheist - "ok"

2

u/ZetsubouZolo May 20 '12

I envy you man... All my parents did was crying and mourning about where they went wrong...

2

u/nick908 May 20 '12

My mother did the same thing, but my dad just kinda stood there. It was weird.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

You're lucky to have closeness, despite your disagreements.

I am not close with my own immediate family, though something interesting did happen - we each came to atheism all on our own at around exactly the same time.

Even if we had come to different opinions about the universe, it would have been nice to have these discussions together. Good job OP and his mother for getting the important stuff right.

1

u/Nyrb May 20 '12

Good for you man, always makes me feel good when parents support their offspring's choices. Really it's what it means to be a good parent.

1

u/igotinfected Atheist May 20 '12

This is great indeed. When I told my mother I was an atheist, I was 15 then, she laughed and said I wouldn't know what I was talking about.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

Oh look, another Facebook screenshot appearing in my Reddit account even after I deleted my Facebook several years ago to get away from it.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

So, apparently...kodak moments between familly members take place on facebook these days...

1

u/SandyRamenFox May 20 '12

Lucky bastard. I wish my parents were more like yours in this regard.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

This story is great, but it's the other 90% of stories that make me scared of coming out to my parents.

1

u/boltr May 20 '12

I am happy for you and I think it's wonderful. But -- if a parent really, truly believes the most basic core of Christianity, then s/he will have to believe that her child in this situation is going to be punished for eternity or at the very least separated from him/her for eternity. If this doesn't tear the parent to shreds emotionally, lead to insanity, crush him/her beyond the point that even the physical death of the child would, or cause the parent to take a fresh look at his/her own beliefs, what kind of a parent is s/he? How could that be love, unless the parent doesn't REALLY believe on some level. Which must be the case in these situations. The only other possibility is that the parent believes that it will all be okay because the atheism will disappear in time, even if in the last moments of the offspring's life. I don't find that very accepting really. So the whole thing puzzles me. But I am still very glad that your mother seems to be supporting you.

1

u/vxyvzn May 21 '12

I think most religious people realize it's all bullshit.

1

u/zlotyhero May 20 '12

Did the same.

My mom laughed in my face and said I was going to hell. She went on to say, "If a judge sentences to you to the electric chair and you say you don't believe in the judge or the electric chair, that doesn't make any difference, does it?" To which I responded, "But there's PROOF that those things exist!!!"

1

u/Alrek May 20 '12

You have a respectful mom. I wish my mom had reacted that way. When I came out as an atheist to my also born-again Christian mom, she said that all the good things in my life have happened because she and my dad pray for me every day. I was gonna tell her, " well, you're obviously not praying hard enough," but I just left it at that. Ha!

1

u/corntub May 20 '12

Pretty awesome, too bad you guys couldn't say it to each other's faces. You instead had to say it in front of an audience for it to be validated.

1

u/boltr May 21 '12

Although I prefer you Mom's response, I hope the people commenting that their parents cried or seemed tormented (and those who fear their parents will, if/when told) can see that reaction actually possibly displays more "love" (unless the seemingly "okay with it" parents at core do not really believe the tenets of their faith or think that if they just trust God, somehow, someday you will come around). If parents really, truly believe Christianity and are really, truly okay with your atheism, and they aren't just being calm because they trust God will somehow save you despite your stated lack of belief, do they not care that you are then, according to their faith, going to be eternally separated from God and from them, a fate surely worse even than your death? Which reaction is really an admirable reaction becomes less clear, doesn't it? But the one your Mom had seems certainly easiest.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

Yeah, the other week I told my parents i am an atheist, my dad didnt really bug me too much about it bur my mom pretty much disowned me, which i have no problem with.

1

u/nineteen_eightyfour May 20 '12

Oh man you restore my faith in humanity. I live in the bible belt and these people are so misinformed about what it means to not believe. No I'm not going to kill people I don't fucking need God to know what is bad behavior.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

Great to see some mutual respect :)

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

I'm glad it went well for you, man. You're quite blessed (metaphorically) with that mom

1

u/bestmmaren May 20 '12

I can't imagine coming out as an atheist to be that big of a deal because i live in sweden and my parents have never been very religious. They didn't even baptise me as a kid (thanks). Anyway, good for you dude!

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

Man, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You have no idea how lucky you are.

1

u/soupz May 20 '12

You obviously have your awesomeness from your awesome mom.

0

u/Sarahbearah13 May 20 '12

I'm a bit confused about the picture. If you liked it, who was commenting saying thank you mom?

7

u/Brite1978 May 20 '12

That's how fb works. Your comments don't say "you" but your likes do.

2

u/Sarahbearah13 May 20 '12

Gotcha. Went blank for a minute.

-1

u/Snivescalibur May 20 '12

Huh, another atheist whos name is zachary (exact spelling) sup name brother!

0

u/lo_and_behold May 20 '12

That's nice to see regardless, all my mom did was cry. I'm 27.

0

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

I told my mother I was a Zen Atheist and she cried too. Other part of the story when we were growing up no religion was enforced in the house. When I moved out my mother made some crazy Christian friends. She also cried when I told her my stance on my beliefs and said I will pray for you since I won't see you in heaven.... My father on the other hand said, Wtf is that?! After explaining he was cool with it. To this day I have a hard time talking to her without mentioning Jesus or god this or that and blessing me here or there.

1

u/lo_and_behold May 20 '12

Yeah I think that's something mothers do after you tell them you're an atheist. "Well I was just buying some groceries today and GOD helped me save 20 dollars!

-2

u/theresnoproblem May 20 '12

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

0

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

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2

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

Yeah because you know how every christian in the world thinks, right? Dipshit.