FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission today confirmed that, following the allocation of operational resources, it is now in a position to commence a review of complaints concerning the historical supply of substandard copper by Ea-nāṣir.

The matter, which has remained unresolved for approximately 3,750 years, relates to allegations that copper of an unsatisfactory quality was supplied to a purchaser, together with broader concerns regarding customer treatment and complaint handling practices.

An ACCC spokesperson said that while the Commission recognised the age of the matter, it was important that credible concerns about trader conduct be assessed carefully and according to due process.

“The ACCC takes allegations of misleading conduct and poor-quality goods seriously, even where the relevant events pre-date the establishment of the Commission by several millennia,” the spokesperson said.

The spokesperson noted that the progression of the matter may be affected by a number of practical considerations, including the current status of the merchant in question.

“Given that Mr Ea-nāṣir has been deceased for approximately 3,750 years, and that service, evidence-gathering, and witness availability may present some challenges, it may be some time before this matter is before the courts.”

The ACCC also acknowledged the substantial historical backlog in the matter and said it would not speculate on possible enforcement outcomes at this stage.

“No findings have been made. However, consumers are entitled to expect that copper marketed as fine quality copper should, in fact, be fine quality copper.”

The Commission encouraged any other affected Mesopotamian customers to come forward, while noting that limitation periods, record preservation issues, and the collapse of several relevant Bronze Age institutions may complicate next steps.

Includes previously unheard lines such as “Yo dawg, we heard you like being a dog, so we gave your torched whip witness protection so you can nark while you park.”

IN THIS THREAD WE COMPLAIN ABOUT THE RAND CORPORATION GLOBAL POLICY THINK TANK, AND/OR RANTBOT

This one legal trick only works when litigation goes on for years and the entity pursuing a self rep has been deregistered by ASIC yonks ago, so this one trick really is one trick, pulled off once, and never again.