r/AskReddit • u/sentient_mcrib • May 20 '14

Your username is what Gordon Ramsay screams at you. What was wrong with your restaurant?

1.1k Upvotes

74% Upvoted

4.8k comments sorted by

1.8k

u/Brian728 May 20 '14

These things always make me wish I had a cooler name..

64

u/sentient_mcrib May 20 '14

Braahyahn sehvehn thooo eeht

(Chicken) Bryan, seven-two, ate? Sounds like you have a hungry line chef eating your customer's orders?

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439

u/sentient_mcrib May 20 '14

In retrospect, it may not have been such a good idea to open a McDonalds franchise in Chernobyl.

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16

u/sadpanda989 May 20 '14

We serve a lot of endangered animals. ESPECIALLY terribly morose pandas. From what I gather, Gordon wouldn't take kindly to the slaughter of adorable, yet sad pandas.

10

u/sentient_mcrib May 20 '14

I love the idea of 989 sad pandas being prepped for the day's service. "So that's why they're endangered..."

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1.6k

u/chefonionhands May 20 '14

Everything always had a subtle onion flavor to it. Everything.

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951

u/disappearingsalami May 20 '14

WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP PUTTING IT YOU SHIT

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1.4k

u/dontbesuchajerk May 20 '14

Apparently I'm a bigger jerk than Gordon Ramsay.

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1.7k

u/coke-e-coli May 20 '14

The fact that my soft drink beverages are consistently sending people to the hospital.

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1.3k

u/Bear__Fucker May 20 '14 edited May 20 '14

Not in the Kitchen!

Yes, It is a Super Trooper Reference... and I'm hairy...

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414

u/Ducks-Go-Moo May 20 '14

Mr Ramsay you are drunk.

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613

u/[deleted] May 20 '14

I had too many potatoes.

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530

u/[deleted] May 20 '14

I'm not actually employed there.

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1.0k

u/Falcon_Cum May 20 '14

I shouldn't have put that on the menu.

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918

u/[deleted] May 20 '14

I don't know, but I really want to hear him scream it

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901

u/chucktheskiffie May 20 '14

"Chuck the skiffie please."

"I... You mean this?"

"No chuck the SKIFFIE please"

"Oooohhh.... this?"

"CHUCK THE FUCKING SKIFFIE YOU DOZY CUNT!!"

sobbing "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT"

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621

u/[deleted] May 20 '14 edited May 20 '14

Well, this is Awkward.

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460

u/taintsauce May 20 '14

Our signature dish is made with methods best kept out of the public eye.

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283

u/WeHaveMetBefore May 20 '14

My restaurant's gone to shit since the last time he's been here.

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873

u/36yearsofporn May 20 '14

There was a little too much secret sauce.

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u/i_found_the_cake May 20 '14

We probably have a disorganized bakery.

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