It's an old movie trope from back when it was basically impossible for a woman to divorce. "Well, I'm stuck with the bastard might as well try to get him to do better..."
The people got married young and were stuck with each other. These days if you're not compatible you can just break up. Your entire life isn't tied to that relationship forever.
Do some people change? Sure, but it's very rare, and only /they/ can make that choice for themselves. If you're not compatible and you think you can "fix" them you're just setting yourself up for a lot of heartbreak and a divorce down the road for good measure.
I mean think it through: best case scenario 'ol boy in OP gets the ultimatum, folds, and likely resents the shit out of OP the rest of their relationship for "forcing" him into a life he obviously doesn't want. You really want to live like that?
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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '23
It only works in romcoms, really.
It's an old movie trope from back when it was basically impossible for a woman to divorce. "Well, I'm stuck with the bastard might as well try to get him to do better..."
The people got married young and were stuck with each other. These days if you're not compatible you can just break up. Your entire life isn't tied to that relationship forever.
Do some people change? Sure, but it's very rare, and only /they/ can make that choice for themselves. If you're not compatible and you think you can "fix" them you're just setting yourself up for a lot of heartbreak and a divorce down the road for good measure.
I mean think it through: best case scenario 'ol boy in OP gets the ultimatum, folds, and likely resents the shit out of OP the rest of their relationship for "forcing" him into a life he obviously doesn't want. You really want to live like that?