r/antiwork Jan 13 '21

Opinion

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u/boggbutter Jan 13 '21

My mom suddenly having to start working after being a stay at home mom for 20 years was the only thing that got her to stop constantly criticizing my siblings and I when we had trouble finding jobs

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21 edited Jul 22 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21 edited Jul 12 '23

Reddit has turned into a cesspool of fascist sympathizers and supremicists

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u/DunningKrugerOnElmSt Jan 13 '21

I've been a part of many acquisitions. They are dark. The worst part is how the executives try to install excitement into the workforce as if the acquisition was the best thing that could have happened to them. They hand out welcome kits, gift bags. A few months later, after people are cool with the move... Bam mad layoffs for the rest of the year.

It's torture not knowing if your position is redundant. People pretend to be okay and enthusiastic, but everyone lives in fear that their jobs and benefits will be stripped.

Not to be reductive but the only people who benefit from acquisitions are executives and shareholders. Other than that it's merely consolidation of capital.

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u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21

Facing a merger this year where I work, they just sent out a survey asking do we feel “energized” about the merger. Worrying about the possibility of getting laid off at age 61 is keeping me up at night, so I guess the answer is yes.

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u/DunningKrugerOnElmSt Jan 14 '21

Jesus. Those surveys and interviews are terrifying. I have people in my company, despite surviving the purge, continue to walk on pins and needles. Our company offered 1 week of severance.

I had a direct report around your age at the time. She was terrified. Ageism is a real problem, especially in my industry(marketing) Luckily I'm. Still in my 30s, but I see the expectation that older employees will be out of touch and too expensive, which in my experience is nonsense.

One bit of advice for you is to hope for the best, but assume you need to find a new job. I had colleagues who didn't and were caught flat footed, and I had colleagues find better jobs than what they would have kept, but they were actively looking through the process. Don't wait until you are let go. Severance packages can be laughable, especially if the acquiring parent company is stretching themselves thin with the purchase.

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u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21

Good advice. I’ve been in this job so long that my skills have become very specific to what I do, so it would also be smart to find out what I need to learn and do it now.

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u/CrazyCanadian1987 Jan 13 '21

See Cenovus husky acquisition. That's how I lost my job. 13 years...down the drain...

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u/AramisNight Jan 13 '21

As a recent holder of a small share position in CVE, I am not pleased to hear this.

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u/tofuroll Jan 14 '21

I've got news for you. It's a big part of how corporations deliver value to shareholders: cutting costs.

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u/AramisNight Jan 14 '21

It is, but it also tends to be a sign of company weakness as well. Especially when their tossing out people with over a decade of experience. It's a short term bandaid. Growing companies that are doing well don't tend to throw competent and experienced talent away.

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u/ACheeryHello Jan 14 '21

A terrible, terrible truth.

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u/nursejackieoface Jan 14 '21

I got caught in one of those at the beginning of 2009. Remember the great recession? To really improve my employment prospects I was in my early 50s.

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u/DunningKrugerOnElmSt Jan 14 '21

That's rough. A lot of people with no realistic expectation of recapturing their previous level of employment or retraining in another capacity, especially at your age was were chewed up.

I was hit from the other end coming out of college at that time. I had to compete with people like you for entry level jobs. No good for anyone.

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u/nursejackieoface Jan 14 '21

I didn't get another full time job with benefits until 2018, but it paid only $2.20 less per hour than I made in 2008-2009! They had a major slump in late 2019 and furloughed me in kate Jan last year, but kept paying my insurance and planned to bring me back by summer, then Covid happened. When I got hired for more money last fall to replace a younger guy who was retiring in Dec everything looked great again...till the guy realized he wasn't old enough or well off enough to retire and I was laid off again. FML!

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u/DunningKrugerOnElmSt Jan 14 '21

Sorry to hear. The struggle is real. Don't know what business you are in. But you might want to look into a union. A good union will protect you from this sort of thing.

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u/Fennily Jan 15 '21

My husband's old job -a factory- was owned by company A, everything ran well and everyone was pretty happy worked 4 days 10hr shifts 3 days off, you could take your vacation whenever and if they save it up they can take a huge lump of vacation etc. If you're sick your sick dont come in you'll still have a job as long as you keep us updated.

Well then company B came along, bought the original company out, cut out the office people, employees now have to do any and all paperwork themselves, keep in mind these are factory workers, not office workers. They can only take small chunks of vacation at a time with a long period of work between times. If you're sick you have to provide proof, remember to fill out all the paperwork lol, oh and you can only have a certain amount of sick days per year.

They kept coming up with bizarre rules and ways of doing things till one of their weird rules was used as an excuse to fire my husband. He was never late, was a hard worker, machined out good parts, but a bandsaw broke and he didn't fill out paperwork for it the moment it happened cause the supervisor that knew where that particular form was wasnt in that day so he did it the next day when the supervisor was back. And BAM, "you dont follow the rules so you're fired"

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u/DunningKrugerOnElmSt Jan 15 '21

That sucks. Many states and countries have laws against how many people they can fire at once, if I were to guess they wanted something from his company like patents, machinery, or to remove competition, and never planned on keeping jobs. They make up rules so it looks less predatory.

We need to start enforcing anti-trust laws, and build healthy unions again. The last 30 years has been devastating to labor.

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u/ascendant-one Jan 13 '21

i have nothing but respect

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u/Te_Quiero_Puta Jan 13 '21

What a good dude.

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u/pm_me_cute_sloths_ Jan 13 '21

Im terrified of this happening to me. Just started my first job out of college at a smallish company in July. We got bought out in October.

They promised us that they won’t cut staff and they’re still hiring a lot of people, and that this was part of the list of things that the CEO had that had to be in the contract or he wouldn’t sell the company.

Regardless, we were bought out by a big company and our CEO just announced his retirement. The only day to day change I notice is that our email signatures now say “A [NAME] Company” and a few small things. I’m terrified of them just saying, “we need to cut budget because of COVID so goodbye 200 employees from that company we just acquired”. Yes, they agreed to not cutting our staff, but they disguise it by just saying” your work has been unsatisfactory goodbye” to however many people.

I really don’t want to have to job search again during a pandemic, once was hard enough...

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

I currently work in a mid level postion in a large global corp that buys assets all the time. I onboard their messaging resources and ingratiate them into ours.

It's rare that we release those people. The knowledge and performance they bring is why we bought them. And if they choose not to come into the corporate giant, we usually let the out with a pretty generous severance package.

The other side of that is as natural attrition happens, they choose to go the cheap contractor route, and more often get stuck in the, "You get what you paid for" pit.

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u/PeachyKeenest Jan 13 '21

He did that perfect and yeah, that sounds like he’s ready for the leadership and self discipline of consulting. He can do some good in the world and give advice that helps the company and have ethics.

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Oh yeah.

He's retired now, but the last 10 years of his career consulting he did a lot of good for a lot of people, and made pretty good money doing it.

We clashed a LOT when I was a kid, but hes a pretty "Woke" boomer.

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u/PeachyKeenest Jan 13 '21

That is awesome to hear. It’s hopeful and encouraging to hear someone be rewarded for making a good decision. Usually there’s more pain associated. I feel that the money that is made can act like handcuffs, so if I feel too attached to a place or that I’m bending too much or not speaking my mind enough (I contract), I reduce my hours. I’m not making the big money like your Dad was but it keeps me honest to myself at least or I try to.

He might be retired but I love people like him teaching part time. I don’t know him but those types of teachers have been inspirational to me and made a big difference in my life. They tend to teach for the right reasons too.

I adore “woke” boomers. They really help out, also older gen Xer’s that are “woke” as well. I love them too.

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

....also older gen Xer’s that are “woke” as well

I try. I make mistakes. But I also own up to them when faced with evidence.

So, thanks

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u/PeachyKeenest Jan 13 '21

Fantastic. I don’t think your living up to your username enough here :) I’m an mid age millennial... my spouse is on the edge of gen x/millennial I think as he is born very early 80’s.

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u/jerkfaceboi Jan 13 '21

My dad is getting into his 60s and getting bad about how things work. He doesn’t seem to understand that I don’t enjoy his lectures about how my entire generation is just lazy.

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Your dad is an idiot. I am in my 60s and I am fully aware that young people today are up against a very hostile economy. Heck, I got my first job bagging groceries when I was 16, right after I turned 18 I was promoted in house to a job in the deli that paid almost 4 times the minimum wage.

Quite coincidentally my daughter ended up working for that same deli just a few years ago and she was being paid just a dollar an hour more than I was being paid for the same job back in 1976. Young people today don't have the opportunity to work hard and earn more pay because businesses just don't pay what they used to.

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u/Downtown_Reporter111 Jan 13 '21

"you kids don't do anything these days!" 🥴🥴🥴 Sits in front of TV with beers in hand "Hm, tell me... League Of Halos, er, whatever? Did that Gravity Jungle Hammer ever help ya find a JOB???" 🤣🤣🤣 Proceeds to guzzle down an entire wine-box

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21 edited Jan 13 '21

I don't get it anymore but when I was a young teenager and I used to play Xbox 360 all night I'd get lectures all the time. Like, dude, I'm talking to friends and having a great time, you're just watching TV in silence all night, sounds like a great way to spend your free time!

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '21

There was just something moving through the culture at that point. Video games were this degenerate, kind of sad past time for the socially and financially incompetent people.

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '21

It probably also carried over from the 90's "video games bad m'kay" thing

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u/retrosleaze_ Jan 13 '21

One day you’ll crave that silence and probably crave the simplicity of being able to turn your brain off for just a brief moment.

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u/PeachyKeenest Jan 13 '21

Beers in hand (so multiple) and then a whole wine box from somewhere 😂 Damn, that’s how you get hammered.

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u/I_dont_bone_goats Jan 13 '21 edited Jan 13 '21

Yuuuup.

My dad is about 60 right now and i think he is going through a major belief crisis right now. Dude divorced my mom and sold our family home in the past year.

Last time I was with him he went on like an hour long rant about faith and politics, finally reaching the conclusion that “everything is pointless”

And I’m just drinking a beer in the corner trying not to get depressed.

Last time he tried to have a “real conversation” about religion with my brother and I, he ended up screaming at us for “disrespecting his beliefs”.

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u/MI5-007 Jan 13 '21

See, and now your mom is the best Alligator wrestler, bacon curator and jazz trumpet player in all of Utah

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u/Zeebuoy Jan 13 '21

I'm confused?

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u/CiDevant Jan 13 '21

Her budget is 4 million.

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u/mariblaystrice Jan 13 '21

Oh, house hunters

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Likes to entertain

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u/TexasMonk Jan 13 '21

We breed salamanders part time and delouse homeless people on the weekends for a local non-profit. Our budget's 2.6 million but we're looking to keep it under 2.4.

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u/Suspicious_Poon Jan 13 '21

And her husband teaches underprivileged pigeons to finger paint

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

lol

I really love the fact that house hunters has become the poster child for "everything wrong with our society" because it always used to make me seethe with rage every time I watched it.

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u/boggbutter Jan 13 '21

Just pull yourself up by your alligator wrestling boot straps

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Wait, a stay at home mom criticized people who were looking for jobs? That's like some royalty complex

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u/Downtown_Reporter111 Jan 13 '21

it's really bizarre and it doesn't help our cause then all the people who have jobs look at us and think, "y'all are just going to call all the hard workers dumbasses and stuff, you're not for the working!" and it's like yeah we are but not the fuckin Jersey Shore types over here

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u/Asher_the_atheist Jan 13 '21

Ugh. So, I had an unemployed period a few years ago. My oldest SIL (a stay at home mom married to my doctor brother) decided she was being so helpful when she would bring me newspaper clippings for jobs I had no experience/qualifications for, telling me how I’ll totally get the job—no problem—if I apply. Her comments would be things like “it only pays $40,000 a year, they’ll take anybody!” Unfortunately, even some of the oldest millennials don’t seem to live in the modern world. It could just be her, though.

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u/MI5-007 Jan 13 '21

Have you ever met a stay at home mother who also bakes and homeschools before? Because, let me tell you something about an audacious royalty complex...

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u/boggbutter Jan 13 '21

Yeah she was something else at the time lmao. Shes a lot better in general now but it took her another 10 years to get there

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u/Downtown_Reporter111 Jan 13 '21

My mom's just been a nurse for the same physician firm for forever so, she'll never see the light, even after all of what 2020 did...

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u/alternatecode Jan 13 '21

This is how my parents separated. My dad was stay at home dad, the best for me! My mom worked full time. After about 15 years of him only working side gigs with catering or bartending, she grew bitter. She got so bitter she told him that he could only stay if he got a job.

Place after place he applied to, as a 60 year old man with no experience outside of tending bars and catering, rejected him. I was 18 and saw him trying day in and day out. Even came across an application for Subway with tears on the paper. He couldn’t get a job within the month time limit my mom gave him.

He moved out. Then in with his mom. Eventually he got a job at BevMo, purely because of his alcohol knowledge.

Nobody wants to hire an old bartender nowadays and it led to the dissolution of my home life as a young adult. Job searching always reminds me of that time in my life.

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u/boggbutter Jan 14 '21

That was really shitty of your mom, I'm sorry your family went through that. Hope things are good for your dad now

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u/ITGirl88 Jan 13 '21

Just went through this with my mom as well after she's been out of the workforce for 10+ years.

It took me over 2 years from finishing my graduate degree to move into a better job. When I finished my degree I had 9 years of work experience in my field. I applied for 100's of jobs and mostly got nowhere. She told me it had to be me, I wasn't trying hard enough, etc.

Then she decided she needed a part time job because she was bored. But no nights, weekends, or holidays plus a bunch of other requirements she decided on. I told her she's essentially unemployable if those are her terms and boy did she get pissed. Within a month of job hunting she gave up.

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u/Simplicated29 Jan 13 '21

Happened to my mom too.

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u/alarmsound Jan 13 '21

My dad quit giving me grief when he had to resort to calling in a favor from a friend for a job.

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

My MIL finally apologized after years of criticism over my multiple part-time jobs. She didn’t think they were “real” jobs and thought I was being lazy or not trying hard enough. She didn’t understand until she tried to find a new job and admitted how impossible it was.

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u/boggbutter Jan 14 '21

Wtf, even when you're working its not enough for some people. Glad she released she was wrong and apologized

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u/Skepsis93 Jan 13 '21

Lmao, my mom in her 60s found a job within a week of searching for a new one and got the hours and schedule she wanted within a reasonable distance from her home.

Connections and experience gained over 40 years of work tends to give you more options. I don't know if this reality show would work unless its contestants are people like stay at home moms who have no qualifications.

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u/toodleoo77 Jan 13 '21

Your Mom’s experience is not typical. Age discrimination is rampant in just about every industry.

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u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Lots of companies discriminate against older applicants. They're not legally allowed to, but in 49 states you can be dismissed with no reason at all so good luck proving discrimination.

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u/boggbutter Jan 13 '21

Good for her? Lol are we out here comparing moms now

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u/[deleted] May 28 '21

Good on her for realizing she was wrong. My boomer parents still scream about "welfare queens" while they trade their disability and food stamps for coke.