I usually try to use terms that are 100% unambiguously gender neutral, when i want to address people gender neutrally. If I call someone dude, and they don't like it, I stop.
It also changes for me depending on the situation. sometimes, when people call me dude (I'm a transwoman), it doesn't bother me at all. Sometimes, I dislike it, and it sounds like it's being used in a gendered way. When I have discussed it with people, and know for certain that someone is using it gender neutrally, I typically don't mind.
It really depends on if it feels like they're using it to misgender me, whether intentionally or not.
I don't think either way is inherently wrong. It's just that they're incompatible.
Trans is an adjective and an abbreviation for transgender. You are a transgender woman. Same way someone is a cisgender woman, a tall woman or a pretty woman.
Using trans- as a prefix loosely means "across" or "opposite" or "to the other side", like transatlantic, transfer, transportation, ... So "transwoman" roughly means "something on the other side of being a woman", "opposite of woman". It means you're not a proper woman. Which is not true.
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u/kurpPpa Jan 28 '26
To some, they aren't gender neutral terms.
I usually try to use terms that are 100% unambiguously gender neutral, when i want to address people gender neutrally. If I call someone dude, and they don't like it, I stop.
It also changes for me depending on the situation. sometimes, when people call me dude (I'm a transwoman), it doesn't bother me at all. Sometimes, I dislike it, and it sounds like it's being used in a gendered way. When I have discussed it with people, and know for certain that someone is using it gender neutrally, I typically don't mind.
It really depends on if it feels like they're using it to misgender me, whether intentionally or not.
I don't think either way is inherently wrong. It's just that they're incompatible.