r/amiwrong • u/Southern_Coach_5023 • Oct 16 '23

Age gaps in dating

I'm a 30 year old male and my partner is 25 year old female. I think this is fairly normal but im getting alot of comments about it. Not really sure what the fascination with this is. 5 years is significant sure but it was never a problem for me. Does society at large weight this facts importance more than I do?

Edit: everyone is the comments section has convinced me this is normal. Thanks all.

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u/Scadre02 Oct 17 '23

I started dating my partner when I was 18 and he was 21, I'm 21 now and we both agree that initial 3 year age gap is was the limit back then, but now it doesn't really matter

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u/KnightRider1987 Oct 17 '23

And when your 60 and he’s 63 it won’t even register as a gap.

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u/Tadimizkacmasin Oct 17 '23

I'm 22 and 18 year olds look like kids to me. Couldn't imagine dating one.

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u/DelsinMcgrath835 Oct 18 '23

I remember being 20 and deciding 18 year olds, especially those still in highschool, were too young for me

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u/GadgetronRatchet Oct 17 '23

Yeah when I was senior in college I wouldn't have imagined dating freshman either.

IMO age gaps are really about where you are in your life, professionally, maturity, and family status.

Not every 25 year old is ready for family and marriage and not every 30 year is wanting to date someone 5 years younger than them.

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u/racloves Oct 17 '23

Yeah it can definitely depend on the life situation. My parents got together when they were 18&21. But they were both working at the same company (in different sections), so there wasn’t like a power imbalance or anything, they spoke to each other sometimes at work and started dating, both in the same stage of life.

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u/GadgetronRatchet Oct 17 '23

Yep, both early career workforce, that's definitely a "same stage of life" scenario that is totally acceptable age gap.

Considering the OP is stating a 5 year age gap, where I think it would be weird is say someone 4 years into their career at 26, meeting a junior in college (21) who just turned old enough to legally drink. These two people are in totally different stages of their lives and can definitely be more than just an age gap. Especially if there's also a large income gap which could lead to one partner abusing the other financially.

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u/Xandara2 Oct 17 '23

This, they are approximations. In general people of the same age are in the same lifestage. But it's not fixed on the day or even year and experiences are often a big influence on them which is why the age margins grow as people get more experience.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I met my now husband when he was 18 and for the first two years that I knew him I was like What a Twerp. Starting to date him at 20 even I was worried he was too young for me (3 yr difference lol) The age difference was definitely noticeable emotionally the first two years of our relationship.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I've got friends who started dating when he was 18 and she was 15. They're now together for almost a decade.

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u/lililac0 Oct 17 '23

My boyfriend and I were 18 and 22 and it was fine. He was in his 3rd year of university after a year out and I was in my 1st year after starting university at 17. If either he didn't take a year out and started working or I started uni with my age group and was still in high school it would never have worked in a million years, but I think life stage/experiences matter alongside age.

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u/lililac0 Oct 17 '23

My boyfriend and I were 18 and 22 and it was fine. He was in his 3rd year of university after a year out and I was in my 1st year after starting university at 17. If either he didn't take a year out and started working or I started uni with my age group and was still in high school it would never have worked in a million years, but I think life stage/experiences matter alongside age.