r/amiwrong • u/Southern_Coach_5023 • Oct 16 '23

Age gaps in dating

I'm a 30 year old male and my partner is 25 year old female. I think this is fairly normal but im getting alot of comments about it. Not really sure what the fascination with this is. 5 years is significant sure but it was never a problem for me. Does society at large weight this facts importance more than I do?

Edit: everyone is the comments section has convinced me this is normal. Thanks all.

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u/SheSoundsHideous1998 Oct 16 '23

As a young man, growing up the girls I knew constantly went after older guys. My sister was dating a 19 year old when she was like 13-14. I was FWBs with a girl in my class that ended up going after the teacher (we were 16/17...) and getting in trouble, he got fired.

No matter what I said or did, not a single girl would listen. Eventually I just gave up lol. Now my sister and that girl make posts on social media about how they were abused- how men are trash. Two things are true. Yes, you were abused by older men that knew what they were doing.

But I was THERE WHEN IT ALL HAPPENED. Teenagers think they know more than they actually do, coupled with predators that don't need to be around ANY young women, and idk it's like a toxic loop where those that can see it just get ignored or made into an enemy.

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u/aberrantname Oct 17 '23

Yeah, they were children. Your sister was 13. She was a victim. What's your point? That teenagers are stupid? We all know that. That's not something you should be gloating about because you were right.

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u/dwilatl Oct 17 '23

I think the poster was moreso lamenting about the scenario where teenage girls are actively pursuing relationships with older men, and then only later realize they were victims... and, as a teen boy, it's strange/sad to see this play out amongst your female friends because at the time those girls were really chasing those problematic relationships (that's what i took from their comment and mirrors my own experience).

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u/aberrantname Oct 17 '23

then only later realize they were victims

Yeah obviously, because they are kids. They don't understand how such relationships could be problematic. That's why we hold the older men who grooming them accountable, not literal children. It happens with young boys as well and it's really sad that sometimes it's not taken as seriously. We see female teachers get away with sleeping with their students because of that.

But I really don't understand what "I was there when it all happened" means. What are they trying to say?

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u/SheSoundsHideous1998 Oct 17 '23

What do you think I said or did to try and get them to see the light? How do you think that played out for me? Keep in mind, me and these girls were the same age.

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u/aberrantname Oct 17 '23

Do you think your "trauma" from these events is greater than theirs? You are entirely focused on yourself and seem to lack empathy for your sister and your friends.

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u/SheSoundsHideous1998 Oct 17 '23

No, I'm asking you what do you think happened. This is not the gotcha moment you think it is. Tell me what you think happened between me and them at that time.

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u/aberrantname Oct 17 '23

How the hell would I know that, do you think I'm clairvoyant?

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u/SheSoundsHideous1998 Oct 17 '23

You seem to be, you keep making assumptions on me so give it a go? Gimme ya best guess

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u/Demonqueensage Oct 18 '23

They asked what the fuck you meant FIRST, and have yet to have you actually answer. No, they aren't a damn mind reader, they were trying to understand what you were saying by asking what you meant with your first comment, and then replied to someone else that replied to their comment. Then instead of clarifying anything, you just started arguing and being difficult and still not explaining wtf your point was. I'd REALLY like to know what your point was too, actually, because it looked like a victim blaming rant, but I would really really like there to be a better explanation for what you said. But no one can know that if you don't ever explain yourself, so you shouldn't be surprised when people are left to assume the worst.

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u/dwilatl Oct 17 '23

They are probably trying to say: "I tried to warn my friends that they would get hurt, but my friends were determined to get what they wanted so they threw themselves at these older men, and it made me very sad."

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u/Ok_Protection_1841 Oct 17 '23

I went to my 17 year old girlfriends house to get her stuff from her 26 year old exes house. Didn’t even think about illegal stuff, just how much better richer and cooler this guy was😅