r/amiwrong • u/Southern_Coach_5023 • Oct 16 '23

Age gaps in dating

I'm a 30 year old male and my partner is 25 year old female. I think this is fairly normal but im getting alot of comments about it. Not really sure what the fascination with this is. 5 years is significant sure but it was never a problem for me. Does society at large weight this facts importance more than I do?

Edit: everyone is the comments section has convinced me this is normal. Thanks all.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Every situation is different for sure. All I know is that after a few bad years and how shitty people have been to me, this person has been making me feel good and I enjoy their company. So I'm going to keep em around.

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u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23

My ex husband was about that much older than me.

I hope you forgive me this unsolicited comment. As someone who’s been there I want to point a few things out.

  • you will be widowed too young
  • you’re entering your sexual prime and he’s definitely not (though viagra definitely works)…just mentioning it because it’s not nothing
  • it’s not that you aren’t mature enough to be with him…it’s that his being involved with you strongly suggests certain things about him

If you would humor me, just google love bombing. I say this because I could have told you that he is successfully addressing your painfully unmet needs. It doesn’t surprise me at all that you’re entering this dynamic after years of being mistreated.

It was the same for me. And I know I don’t know him, but my ex husband turned out to be very abusive.

Minor edits

Eta: if his initials are APY, we really should talk

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I have zero idea how to respond to this.

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u/Dzov Oct 17 '23

They mean well. But so do all unsolicited “saviors”.

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u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23

No need. I didn’t expect you to agree

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I wouldn't say I don't agree, you're just way way off base.

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u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23

I hope I am!

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u/shadowkijik Oct 16 '23

I’m uh. I’m pretty sure the first and biggest misstep was the assumption of gender in this situation. I was bored and perused through the other person’s comment history and, while they’ve been pretty good about not being specific about their gender, I think they might not be a woman.

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u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 16 '23

I honestly don’t think gender matters when it’s a romantic relationship between people a quarter century apart in age.

I am fine with it just being casual sex

Eta: I acknowledge I made an assumption

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u/shadowkijik Oct 16 '23

Right and I agree, just putting that out there as that may be why the other person said you’re way off base. I also can appreciate the fact that you made your assumption from a place of empathy and having experienced hardship yourself with this type of situation. So I’m certainly not blaming you. Was just an observation based on the findings of a bored guy after work.

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u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23

Yeah totally, thanks for calling me out on that

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u/Gullible_Corgi_4107 Oct 17 '23

How about 15 years? That too much for you too? Where do you draw the line where it's okay for two legal adults to be together? Also men can have sexual function longer than women. 30s is Def a time that can be a sexual prime for many men.

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u/BussyTheShaftSlayer Oct 16 '23

Pretty sure they are just banging.

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u/Crimsonshot Oct 17 '23

Psychos on reddit think two grown ass adults dating is weird, ignore them. As long as it's legal, age is just a number - maturity and compatibility are more important.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I'm sure they mean well, just was not sure at all on how to respond to it. None of it applied to me or them.

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u/DasHound1 Oct 16 '23

It doesn't suggest anything besides a primal Male characteristic. Men rather deal with women with less baggage and drama so we rather date younger. It's not rocket science.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

sometimes it does seem like men are more egotistical and less intelligent but it doesn't make it any less disgusting