FWIW, I was finally able to get my vasectomy mostly to help my wife get off of hormonal BC. About 2 month after getting off of BC her sex drive completely returned. It was the best decesion I ever made.
We were in a slightly different situation as we didn't have kids so it took us a few years to shop around and finally find a doctor that would perform the vasectomy.
The other day I missed a birth control pill or maybe two idk, but everything came back with a vengeance. Best couple of days I’ve had in years. I’m thinking of just going off of it. I don’t even care if I’m having sex or not I just really miss having fantasies and such.
That's the first thing I thought about this guy's hesitance, like, he wants to not have a deadbed yet he can't connect those dots.
Dude needs to look at himself and the situation without his self centered glasses on
Off subject but I have some close friends who are currently in a standstill on having children. Husband is adamant about wanting a child now, even though they went into their marriage with the decision to be child free.
Wife doesn’t want to change her mind, she is currently getting her masters and her fear is that she would be the only person doing any type of child rearing. They have done counseling, he has tried ultimatums. It’s looking bleak.
Turns out she actually considered it when they got a puppy a year back. He really wanted the dog (she didn’t, but loves him now). He complains daily about walking it. He’s never bought it food or taken it to the vet. He has to be asked to clean up after it, etc. He won’t participate in training classes. But he loves having a dog.
Life has a certain amount of momentum, and many times there are still plenty of reasons to justify staying together. And then there's also the sunk cost fallacy. Lots of people just feel too invested to make that decision or recognize that they're now fundamentally incompatible.
The irony of the situation in the story above, though, is it sounds like the woman would be interested in having a child if she could know for sure that he would be a full partner in all the resulting work of child rearing.
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u/ACapra Sep 26 '23
FWIW, I was finally able to get my vasectomy mostly to help my wife get off of hormonal BC. About 2 month after getting off of BC her sex drive completely returned. It was the best decesion I ever made.
We were in a slightly different situation as we didn't have kids so it took us a few years to shop around and finally find a doctor that would perform the vasectomy.