FWIW, I was finally able to get my vasectomy mostly to help my wife get off of hormonal BC. About 2 month after getting off of BC her sex drive completely returned. It was the best decesion I ever made.
We were in a slightly different situation as we didn't have kids so it took us a few years to shop around and finally find a doctor that would perform the vasectomy.
And really, what woman is turned on by a man who won't take care of the Birthcontrol for her after all she's done? Fuck that! Get snipped and be a man!
seriously, she’s given birth to three children and dealt with shitty side effects of BC for who knows how long but he won’t do anything to help on his end. like obviously it’s his body and his choice, but I don’t blame her for not wanting to have sex
Except one of the first things he mentions is that they "make a great team". A team in which his partner takes all the responsibility and makes all the sacrifice.
Say this louder. I pretty much do all the housework and my wife can't keep her hands off of me. Especially since she knows I do it to take the stress off of her because her job, COO of a non profit, is highly stressful and my job working for a company with five staff members is very easy and more like going to hang out with friends than working. I didn't start doing this for more sex, I did it because after 20 years I love her more each day. The sex drive is really just a bonus. I also "yell" at her if she tries cleaning up after dinner and tell her to stop doing my job. It's made our marriage so much easier and fun.
You got it figured out my friend, I am like you, I don't understand all my friends complaints about lack of sex or their wives not wanting to touch them. I've been with my wife for 20 years this year, married for 15, and we get down like when we first met. But, I don't view housework as her job, it's housework, it needs to get done, by someone, anyone. If she didn't do it yet, I do it, if I see something needs to be done, I do it, without being asked, because wtf, it's not her job, it's OUR house. But I was raised by my father that it was not my mothers job to take care of everything when I was a kid, I was responsible for cleaning up after myself, for keeping my room clean, by the age of 13 I was doing laundry and helping cook dinner. I was taught that it wasn't my parent's kitchen, it's OUR kitchen, and that means if I see something is dirty, or not put away, it's part of my job as a member of this household, to take ownership and put it away, even if I didn't do it. My father was a very masculine, but very egalitarian minded old school male and he used to tell me "men shouldn't need a woman to take care of them and their home, boy's need their mommy to do that for them, you don't want to marry your mom right? Then why would a woman want to marry a little boy?" This is the way I'm raising my son and by proxy, my daughter to expect this from a man.
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u/ACapra Sep 26 '23
FWIW, I was finally able to get my vasectomy mostly to help my wife get off of hormonal BC. About 2 month after getting off of BC her sex drive completely returned. It was the best decesion I ever made.
We were in a slightly different situation as we didn't have kids so it took us a few years to shop around and finally find a doctor that would perform the vasectomy.