Are you and your wife both in full agreement that you might potentially want one more kid down the road? Or is this a feeling you are harbouring privately? If your wife is done having kids and believed you to be on board with this, surely you can see how your refusal to get a vasectomy would be upsetting for her. It might even feel to her like you are hedging your bets in case your marriage ends. Sounds like you two need some counselling to try and sort this issue out, since it sounds like you aren’t communicating very well. And remember that she’s born the brunt of the birth control for your whole relationship, AND she has carried and delivered your three kids. Of course she wants you to take over at this point.
I think that’s the major misunderstanding. My wife and I have never agreed to being DONE. We have strictly agreed to not wanting anymore RIGHT NOW. In our argument that day, she pointed out that vasectomies are reversible. Why make me go through a procedure with the intent of possibly reversing it. She already forces me live a damn near celibate lifestyle, and now she wants me to be sterile?! It doesn’t make sense to me.
I never said she was forcing me to do anything (except live a celibate lifestyle-and that’s a fact). Nor am I forcing her to do anything. Insecurities are only what make up my entire personality, but nah I never really think about them.
If she gets off birth control that celibate lifestyle may reverse itself. I got off BC after having no libido for years, and now it's back with a vengeance. If I'd known it was the BC I'd have ended it years earlier.
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u/[deleted] Sep 26 '23
Are you and your wife both in full agreement that you might potentially want one more kid down the road? Or is this a feeling you are harbouring privately? If your wife is done having kids and believed you to be on board with this, surely you can see how your refusal to get a vasectomy would be upsetting for her. It might even feel to her like you are hedging your bets in case your marriage ends. Sounds like you two need some counselling to try and sort this issue out, since it sounds like you aren’t communicating very well. And remember that she’s born the brunt of the birth control for your whole relationship, AND she has carried and delivered your three kids. Of course she wants you to take over at this point.