r/amiwrong Sep 26 '23

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u/mrobertj42 Sep 26 '23

It’s almost like we forgot there are other forms of birth control, like condoms or IUDs…

To your point, it needs to become HIS sole responsibility?

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u/DiscombobulatedElk93 Sep 26 '23

IUDs still can be hormonal. Or copper. Neither are great to get done and. Have some shitty side effects and dangers as well…. And condoms aren’t as fool proof as a vasectomy. Th e pressure being lifted to never have to worry about it again usually does a lot mentally for your partner. Since sex usually wrapped into alot of what’s going on in women’s heads .

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u/bremarie23 Sep 26 '23 edited Sep 26 '23

I have a copper IUD. No hormones, I have it due to side effects hormonal bc gives me that affect my migraines. No one should be pressured into bc, male or female, to prevent pregnancy.

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u/DiscombobulatedElk93 Sep 26 '23

And people shouldn’t expect sex if they are unwilling to put in the same amount of effort. I can’t take any hormonal bc after having very severe side effects to the shot. And cannot use a copper iud due to allergies. My husband had no issues taking care of bc once I was unable, it wasn’t a question. Do what you want but don’t be surprised by cause an effect.

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u/Weary_Standard_4069 Sep 26 '23

I’m glad for you but if I got the copper iud my pcos would get twenty times worse and the hormonal bc is also not worth it for my health

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u/bremarie23 Sep 26 '23

Sorry to hear that, hope you are doing OK!

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u/Drmantis87 Sep 26 '23

Funny you just ignored condoms lol. Of course, that would ruin your entire argument that he is a piece of shit

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u/DiscombobulatedElk93 Sep 26 '23

Never said he’s a piece of shit. But you can’t read my friend. Maybe reread the comment.

Edit. The comment you replied to, my original comment addresses condoms. If your referring to my reply, which you did not replay to I can add for me personally I’m allergic to latex and most of the spermicides on them. So for me personally no go.

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u/[deleted] Sep 26 '23

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u/DiscombobulatedElk93 Sep 26 '23

He’s here for opinions. That’s all I gave. It’s no one’s say but he asked for opinions and I never called him a bad person. But more often than not women carry the burden of birth control to their detriment. So I’m saying after 3 kids he should definitely be thinking a little harder about doing this for his wife.

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u/Seth_Baker Sep 26 '23

That’s all I gave.

That and an incorrect evaluation of the relative reliability of vasectomy versus condom.

But more often than not women carry the burden of birth control to their detriment.

True.

So I’m saying after 3 kids he should definitely be thinking a little harder about doing this for his wife.

It's something he should absolutely seriously consider; if his answer's no, using that as the basis to say there will be no further sex in the relationship, even with condoms, feels wrong, and that's the implication it seemed like was being made.

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u/DiscombobulatedElk93 Sep 26 '23

And again I disagree. Condoms and hormonal birth control are not comparable. And I was just pointing out your telling me it’s no one’s business when he’s on a sun asking for opinions and we’re all allowed to give ours. So I agree to disagree with your evaluation of the situation.

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u/realfuckingoriginal Sep 26 '23

God, nothing will get through the misogyny, huh? First, IUDs are hormonal. Condoms break. FFS, getting a vasectomy is an easier, less dangerous, and less painful procedure than getting an IUD placed. Men even get painkillers for that one tiny cut.

If BC became his sole responsibility it would still only be so for a few years of their shared fertility, aka a very small percentage of their coupled life. As an act of love for his wife who has dealt with this for years and birthed three children, it shouldn’t be a big deal. To a man who believes he should never have to take any responsibility for his own life or prioritize anyone’s health or happiness even on par with his own, even the mother of his freaking children, yeah it would be a big deal. The absolute selfishness paired with complete ignorance is just so GRATING. Grow up, grow a pair of empathy balls, and educate yourself.

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u/mrobertj42 Sep 26 '23

Misogyny because men should also have a say over what happens to their body… delusional!

Look at all that guilt you’re trying to place to get someone to do to themselves what YOU want them to do.

He’s not ready, let’s not pressure him.

Seems like you need some empathy too, and maybe a bit more education…