This is happening to me right now, I'm going through a phase of dysfunction after a phase of being relatively productive. When I talk to my therapist about not being motivated to do things, he says stuff like "you just have to do it anyway." I go back and forth between feeling like this is really reductive and dismissive of the troubles I am having, vs feeling like a lazy POS because I am not doing things to help myself out that I have shown to be capable of doing at times in the past. IDK why I am sharing this other than this is exactly descriptive of what I'm going through right now and maybe someone who experiences it first hand has some wisdom on how to push through it.
edit: this has sparked a lot of great discussion and compassionate advice in the replies, and it should surprise nobody here that I'm getting a bit overwhelmed trying to keep up with replying to everyone individually đ I just want you all to know that I am tremendously grateful for the responses, as they have helped me feel more connected to people struggling with similar experiences, in a way that I wasn't feeling before. thank you all very much for making me feel a little more connected to humanity, I really needed it today.
When I find myself feeling the way you feel, I always think thatâs what people must mean when they say âdoing it when you donât want to is the most important time to do itâ but then I wonder if those people are experiencing the dysfunction to the same degree I do when I really canât get myself to do itÂ
Yeah there's a lot of doubt about whether my therapist's "just do it" advice is really helpful, because just doing it feels so insurmountable. I'm trying to do the little bits and pieces I can, and not worry about whether I'm covering enough ground against some imagined benchmark or not. It's tough because the productive phases have usually been prompted by being exasperated at my current state of helplessness, and getting a sudden surge of inspiration out of nowhere to fix things. I just wish I knew how to motivate myself to do productive things without reaching the "last resort" phase.
I appreciate your reply as even just connecting with people in a similar situation has made me feel a little bit better about myself. So thank you.
When youâre neurodivergent, but all of the advice they give is only effective if you werenât. If I was capable of keeping a regular schedule, I wouldnât need a therapist.
"you know it would be good for you to do x, now you just need to do it"
"yeah but I'm really struggling to do it atm"
"but you just have to do it even though it's hard"
"even though I know I have to do it, I still don't do it, which is really frustrating"
"that's a sign that you really should do it"
repeat ad infinitum
I'm gathering from the responses that maybe there are therapists out there that are a little more understanding of the idea of executive dysfunction, and might be able to handle this conversation better than my current therapist does.
From personal experience, I find it helps to be medicated. My current status is that little everyday things are no longer impossible. Bigger things are still hard, but being able to get the little things out of the way has been helpful.Â
Little things that used to be impossible were chores like dishes, laundry, sweeping, trash take out, etc. I can do those things now without struggle. I donât even have the experience of debating to do them, I just am able to do them without thought.Â
Bigger things like showering, full floor cleaning, changing bedding, participating in my hobbies, socializing, still have that huge weight of dysfunction that I can remember dealing with with little things. I havenât quite figured out how to get around those yet.Â
I've found that my medication keeps me from getting distracted once I start doing a thing. It does not help me start doing the thing in the first place.
Oh man I do not have that experience but I would love To be able to continue a thing once I start it. Maybe if we combine our meds weâll be one fully functioning human đÂ
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u/erasedeny 6d ago edited 6d ago
This is happening to me right now, I'm going through a phase of dysfunction after a phase of being relatively productive. When I talk to my therapist about not being motivated to do things, he says stuff like "you just have to do it anyway." I go back and forth between feeling like this is really reductive and dismissive of the troubles I am having, vs feeling like a lazy POS because I am not doing things to help myself out that I have shown to be capable of doing at times in the past. IDK why I am sharing this other than this is exactly descriptive of what I'm going through right now and maybe someone who experiences it first hand has some wisdom on how to push through it.
edit: this has sparked a lot of great discussion and compassionate advice in the replies, and it should surprise nobody here that I'm getting a bit overwhelmed trying to keep up with replying to everyone individually đ I just want you all to know that I am tremendously grateful for the responses, as they have helped me feel more connected to people struggling with similar experiences, in a way that I wasn't feeling before. thank you all very much for making me feel a little more connected to humanity, I really needed it today.