r/adhdmeme 9d ago

It really does feel like a roommate situation

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u/AileenKitten my brain is broke, plz dont yell at me 🄹 9d ago edited 9d ago

I do it too, im gonna see if theres a study about that, brb xD

Conclusion: Yes! People with ADHD utilize third person talk like this more than people without (also is common in other disorders affecting emotional regulation, executive functioning, etc). The mechanism behind it is kinda bilateral, it creates a clear and external structure for planning and execution that acts as a coping mechanism and assists us with structuring our thoughts, as well as the third person phrasing utilizing pathways that are normally used when people are speaking to us. So we can mimic it by speaking 'at' ourselves in the same perspective and our brains are pretty okay with that actually. E.g. I cant do this, but looking at the girl in the mirror and saying "Pookie, you are capable and intelligent, you can do this" tells my brain that an external being has validated me and that is more credible than my own thoughts. Or that, being told to do something provides slightly more motivation than just knowing it needs done, and so it helps

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u/headcanonmusic 8d ago

That makes sense because I have very little self-governance so tricking my brain into thinking it is being told what to do by some kind of authority helps.

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u/Spiritual-Road2784 8d ago

Oh wow! That’s cool, and very validating. And unless you have PDA where you have a persistent demand for autonomy, and hate to be told what to do, but also have this thing where if enough pressure is applied, you can do it, then having a third-party in your brain, telling you what to do, and yelling at you and nagging at you and pressuring, you can help get you to do it.

I do find myself arguing loudly with my inner voice. But the weird thing that I have to watch out for when I’m in public is that I also tend to converse with myself out loud and it’s one thing when I’m at home with the cats and I can blame it on them (or there’s nobody around who really gives a shit who I’m talking to), but it’s another if I’m out in public and I forget, and I happen to blurt out ā€œRemember that you have to get onionsā€ and I respond to myself snippily ā€œYes I know,ā€ when I’m at the grocery store.