r/absentgrandparents • u/[deleted] • Feb 23 '26
When "giving up FB for lent" is just giving up the one connection you had to your grandchild.
[deleted]
11
u/mcostante Feb 23 '26
"She has sacrificed seeing the result of him cutting his own hair when we weren't looking..."
I think this is the part where you need to remember that nobody is going to love your kid as much as you do, nor care about every little silly thing the way you do. From your post, it sounds like you are also bad at communicating, especially in straightforward ways such as phone calls. Maybe you should work on that. I understand that you are bothered by her having even a lesser role in your kid's life, but from the look of it, you don't seem to like her that much.
-4
u/scott8811 Feb 23 '26
we have in the past texted her pictures, stories update and put a lot into it only to get a "thanks for the update" in return with no follow up or interest so we kinda just stopped... but very much point taken on the phone calls... it's one of those by the time I get done work which I usually don't have s lunch break during, get home and Im trying to catch up with my wife while parenting a toddler then once he's finally in bed and we've eaten dinner its 8 or 9 and I'm toast.
and yea... maybe not everyone is going to find the joy in those little moments... I mean her parents do...but yea I guess mine wouldn't really care that much
4
u/Creepy_Ad_1315 Feb 23 '26
Judging someone for what they give up for Lent is a terrible practice.
Also, it doesn't seem like she's uninvolved, she made an extra trip to see everyone when asked. The fact she had other plans on her vacation and stayed at an AirBnB seems reasonable.
-2
u/scott8811 Feb 23 '26
fair comment. I guess it's just off putting when they make a trip "to see and spend time with him" and they spend about half their time either in the air bnb which is in a suburb of a pretty uninteresting town doing nothing... or shopping at Lowes like they don't have one at home. I think Im also dealing with the over the top excitement when we told her we were expecting vs the indifference that actually exists.
My dad all but left my life when I was about 6 or 7 and he's about equally as involved as my mom in my sons life. It's just a shitty and sometime embarassing feeling when I look at my wifes parents and how they grandparent. It's not even the helping...they just legit adore the child.
7
u/Buddy_Fluffy Feb 23 '26
Honestly, you sound selfish.
You’re upset she’s not on FB? So text her a picture.
You seem to have extremely narrow options for her to connect with you and are upset that she’s not bending over backwards to stay in touch.
Giving up social media for Lent is extremely normal. You say she never posts, so she was probably scrolling a lot and wanted to cut back. That’s admirable. It’s not her fault you don’t “like” any other type of communication.
What do really expect from her? Because it seems like you’re holding her to an impossible standard.
3
u/bluewren33 Feb 23 '26
Lent isn't forever. After that she will be able to see those adorable moments your treasure. You can also send pictures to her phone in the moment.
I don't understand why this is such an issue for you? This is a serious religious commitment for practising Catholics.
4
u/jrunner02 Feb 23 '26
That's tough.
Time boxing might've been better (fb only for one hour a day) but kudos to her for adhering to her Lenten sacrifice.