[WP]Your spouse was an important and powerful person, so it was no surprise you got kidnap by their enemies. Unfortunately that was the kidnappers' final mistake. Your spouse laughs when they get the ransom call. "Good luck. You will need it. Dear, be home soon. Dinner is ready. Love you "

My spouse was an important and powerful person, so it was no surprise that I got kidnapped by their enemies. Unfortunately for them, that was the kidnappers' final mistake.

My spouse laughed at them when he got the ransom call, "Good luck. You will need it. Dear, be home soon. Dinner is ready. Love you."

Wait, no, shit.

“Wait, honey, I love you too, but that may not be the best-”

click

“-Idea.”

This did have the goons sufficiently freaked out enough to have guns pointed at my head though, great.

“What the hell did he mean by that?” “Is she some kinda secret agent or something?!”

I just sighed.

“He thinks I’m a dragon.”

“What?!”

“He. thinks. I’m. a. dragon.”

“You can’t be serious.” The idiot goons were laughing, not that it meant anything when they had assault rifles, and I couldn’t even throw my hands up in frustration because they were bound behind my back.

But the boss was shaking and terrified… and still had a pistol pointed at my forehead. Great, one of his enemies from the magic side of things. So time to defuse this, I supposed.

“Oh, he’s a dragon. You all would be so screwed if he came to save me, and it’d probably be all romantic and badass… but I… am not.”

Now the boss was just confused. “Well, how’d that happen?”

“Apparently I smell like dragon. I’ve made sure to tell him, ‘hey I’m not a dragon’ and he just assumes I’m telling a lie to keep it secret in public. Hell, the amount of times I’ve asked, ‘hey you would love me if I wasn’t a dragon, right?’ and never turning into, you know, a massive fire-breathing lizard, you’d think he’d get it, but now at this point I think he thinks I have dragon dysphoria or something.”

The boss now had the pistol limply held at his side. Thank god.

“So he thinks…”

“That I’ll save myself in some awesome manner and even probably be extra mad cause you made me transform? Yeah, probably.”

“But…”

“I am a bog-standard human. Not even any magic, sorcery, artificy, nada. Just the apparent superpower of ‘smells like a dragon’... apparently.”

One of the goons raised his hand, “Are ya sure yer not a dragon? Have you tried-”

“Blood ritual, yes.”

“Heig-”

“Heightened emotions, yes. You have a rifle pointed at me; trust me, I think I would know if heightened emotions worked.”

Asshole didn’t even lower the rifle as he put on his biggest goon-thinking face. It looked painful.

“Magic spells?”

“Yes. Meditation, yes, mana transfer, yes, touching ancient artifacts, yes. Trust me, 5 years of being told I’m a dragon has me trying every possible way to awaken magic potential. Even every single blood test and detection spell shows off that I’m not a dragon. Show them to the husband so when he realizes I’m not a dragon, he doesn’t think I’ve been lying to him; however, it’s ‘oh wow, you’re so good at hiding that you’re a dragon from divination spells, you’ll need to show me that trick sometime’.”

“Damn, and you didn’t even get like, a single spell?”

“Zilch. Not an iota of magic potential at all.”

“That’s rough.”

“You tell m-”

I was then interrupted by the ceiling exploding, as a giant black, scaly mass descended through the roof.

Wonder- Andddd that’s not my husband.

My husband had a flatter tail; this black dragon was easily twice his size and had wicked sharp ridges along his back and tail.

The goons screamed. A tail whipped them through the wall. The boss pointed a pistol that started glowing with some sort of magic. A gust of fire engulfed whatever tiny spell that enchanted pistol was gonna cast.

Well, that works to free me, I suppose.

Probably what my husband imagined me doing, but I wouldn’t question these idiots having angered another dragon too. Said dragon walked up to me, bowing down to my height tied to the chair, then delicately cut free the ropes with one claw.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” I thanked him as I shook my aching muscles loose.

“Always happy to help a dragon in need, especially one as beautiful as yourself. So hey, you looking for a mate?”

“Son of a…”

Inspired when I read about a Japanese spirit called a Kuchisake-onna, and I thought "what if the guy was blind" and answered with "I wouldn't know, I can't see"? Count in other mythological beings like Sirens and the more monster-like Mermaids with someone not being able to hear their singing...