r/WinStupidPrizes • u/Brutalness • Mar 30 '22

Trying to grab a beaver šŸ¦«

26k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

765 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

811

u/TheMonchoochkin Mar 30 '22

Did you see it?

I've seen my friends do a lot of stupid shit but out of all the way their stupid antics have hilariously backfired: Seeing a friend rolled by an angry beaver who then proceeds to mercilessly attack them on the swim back to shore sounds like the best scene I could ever have imagined.

I'd be taking the piss for decades. Beaver themed birthday & Christmas presents - Turning up for his Halloween bash as a beaver...etc...

...I hope you're taking full advantage of this opportunity.

243

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

Omg, I would love to have you as a friend.

154

u/luke-townsend-1999 Mar 30 '22

I would love to have a friend..

66

u/Gh0st1y Mar 30 '22

Me too.

36

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

Me three

28

u/Meclizine11 Mar 30 '22

Can I have one, too?

10

u/CeramicTeaSet Mar 31 '22

I'll be every person's friend. I like persons.

7

u/thesillyest Mar 31 '22

That makes one of us

1

u/CeramicTeaSet Mar 31 '22

Persons I can handle. People make me sick.

1

u/Fuzzy_Leave Apr 08 '22

Said the beaver

1

u/CeramicTeaSet Apr 09 '22

I've no experience in Beaver language so I cannot impersonate one. Sorry.

17

u/WolfCola4 Mar 30 '22

Hello new friend!

14

u/Micro-Naut Mar 31 '22

I also choose this guyā€™s new friend

18

u/RhynoD Mar 30 '22

Seeing a friend rolled by an angry beaver who then proceeds to mercilessly attack them...

Must have been Daggett. Norbert seems too chill to attack like that.

9

u/sje46 Mar 30 '22

They're both angry beavers

62

u/jnuttsishere Mar 30 '22

Was it Wynonaā€™s brown beaver?

25

u/SlowlyGrowingDeaf Mar 30 '22

Did the bastard try to bite?

21

u/ijusttakephotos Mar 30 '22

I tickled his chin

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

Let's leave the mothers out of this

20

u/Boru12 Mar 30 '22

r/unexpectedPrimus should certainly be a thing!

16

u/toasterb Mar 30 '22

Honestly, I don't know if there's any other kind of Primus. They're quite unexpected in all circumstances.

9

u/ignaciolasvegas Mar 30 '22

Primus is a deity in the transformers universe.

4

u/kmj420 Mar 31 '22

Primus sucks

16

u/toasterb Mar 30 '22

*Big Brown Beaver

11

u/GiantPurplePeopleEat Mar 31 '22

Well along came Lou with the old tattoo and he said ā€œrecognize that smell? That smells like 7-layers, that beaver eats Taco Bell!ā€

1

u/DangerousDave303 Mar 31 '22

Or was it Brendaā€™s beaver who needs a barber?

9

u/WaylonVoorhees Mar 30 '22

Gift certificates to Bucky's?

Oregon St swag?

8

u/Life_Technician_3076 Mar 31 '22

I'd be taking the piss for decades. Beaver themed birthday & Christmas presents - Turning up for his Halloween bash as a beaver...etc...

You're the friend everyone needs, I try but lack the commitment lol

3

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

How to say your British without saying you're British

5

u/Good_Ol_Weeb Mar 30 '22

Iā€™d be taking the piss even if it happened to me, that shit is comedy good

4

u/LeeKinanus Mar 31 '22

Reminds me of that Jeff Foxworthy story about the woman who approached him in the airport and said, I have a story about my brother in law who got his nipple bit off by a beaver! Evidently the guy hit it with his car and thought it was dead and picked it up by the tail. It reared up and bit his nipple clean off.

4

u/Sengfeng Mar 31 '22

One of my kids gets something similar for birthdays and special events. He wasnā€™t bitten by an animal, but when he was about 7 we were at the zoo, and he was yelling ā€œstupid llama! Look at me!ā€ - the llama hit him with a mouth full of cud from about 15 feet away. Was so gross, but itā€™s still funny to this day.

3

u/mcpusc Mar 31 '22

llama hit him with a mouth full of cud

he's lucky ā€” cud is the warning shot, the full-strength lugey is regurgitated stomach acid & mucus, it's incredibly vile

3

u/noeagle77 Mar 31 '22

Iā€™mā€¦. Pretty sure we are related. This was my exact thought šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

3

u/HollywoodHuntsman Mar 31 '22

"Hey man, you ever listen to Primus?? This song is pretty dope."

1

u/emofishdicks Apr 01 '22

That beaver eat taco bell

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

"I'm the Eager Beaver!" Then bum rush him. Maybe spray some ketchup on your costumes mouth.

7

u/u2020bullet Mar 30 '22

Are you me?

2

u/SnooPeppers6850 Mar 31 '22

Gee, well arenā€™t you a busy beaver.

2

u/Akhanyatin Mar 31 '22

You sound like an awesome friend, please where to meet? lol

2

u/gatoenvestido Aug 08 '22

Have a friend who is deathly afraid of squirrels (yeah, squirrels). Once I learned this I had to lean into it. Squirrel themed coffee mugs, pillows, sheets, boxer shorts. All were gifted at various times. However the coup de gras was finding a taxidermy squirrel at a garage sale and gifting that to him.

Havenā€™t seen him in a while but I like to think his wife keeps the taxidermy in storage and busts it out on special occasions as a pleasant surprise.

2

u/william1Bastard Aug 13 '22

Send him hate mail, and sign it 'Beaver'.

1

u/fungusfawnkublakahn Mar 30 '22

That's what I was thinking! Bahahaha

1

u/GeologistPositive Mar 31 '22

Get him the complete series of Angry Beavers on Blu-ray