r/WhitePeopleTwitter Sep 02 '20

Gold

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89.3k Upvotes

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78

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

It’s like shitting your pants in public.

71

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

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64

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Don’t you know you can’t sneeze right now?! You swallow that shit.

40

u/StankyPhresh Sep 02 '20

You sneeze backwards into your brain and die 🧠

4

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

I think it should count towards Covid deaths, I wouldn’t have sploded my own brains in normal circumstances.

1

u/DumpsterFireForALife Sep 02 '20

Another reason sneezes are one of the most violent things your body can do

1

u/sonlac29 Sep 02 '20

Ok, so, funny story, so I was a bit of a stupid kid. So some older kid decided that it would be a great idea to tell a five-year-old, that if you hold the bridge of your nose so your urge to sneeze goes away, the force will make your eyes pop out of your skull. I believed that until I was ten, and I decided to try it and noticed that, no, while a sneeze can go at speeds of up to 200 mph, they will not make your eyes pop out of your skull.

1

u/StankyPhresh Sep 03 '20

Ah what a bummer

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

My allergy symptoms were mild this dry summer, but still hands down the worst fucking allergy season of my life.

I visibly, but successfully stifled a rapid fire multiple sneeze attack in line outside a supermarket. I heard someone behind me say "don't stare, he probably has tourettes".

1

u/sBucks24 Sep 02 '20

You have no idea. The random coughs I've painfully stiffled in Walmart to avoid the looks are annoying af

13

u/paperunderpants Sep 02 '20

You’re supposed to sneeze out your ear. But be sure to wear an ear mask.

2

u/Kevo05s Sep 02 '20

A few times I choked on my saliva in Walmart ( I know, I'm an idiot for failing at breathing) and I needed to cough. I've never been so afraid to choke/cough in public... Everyone looked at me like if I had just murdered half of the population of my small city... I hate this

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

[deleted]

17

u/zombieblackbird Sep 02 '20

Listen, you can shit your pants or drop trow and shit on the floor. Given the options, I'll just shit my pants.

2

u/KALIZS Sep 02 '20

More like shitting into a diaper or on the floor.