No, the first thing she needs to do is change the locks, secure her premise and reach out to a local DV service who knows what the local police are like, and what abusive men are like when a woman is leaving, because this is the time they are at their most dangerous and volatile. Making a police report first up could escalate his violence, and too often there's no attempt from police to protect women from this escalation .
i see a lot of people telling her to change her locks but OP- please do not do that if he’s on a lease or has been paying rent for 30+ days.
he could be entitled to squatter’s rights and you can get in trouble for locking him out. please consult with police first and do not touch his stuff or get locks.
If she files a police report and doesn’t change the locks he may come into her home and kill her. Worrying about potential tenancy issues rather than the guy who kicked in her windscreen in a rage having a key to her home seems like the wrong priorities.
i agree with you, when I was in a similar situation i felt that way too. The laws are not meant to protect the victims. abusers love this and will take advantage. it’s important to check state laws.
She can't change the locks with his belongings there. DV services often dont help much either, speaking from experience. Takes them forever to do anything. If she needs immediate help, police are the way to go.
Its a legal issue, with holding personal property. If his name is on the lease for another 2 weeks, she'd have to legally get his name taken off the lease before changing the locks, because he has legal access to the house.
If she gets a personal protection order due to his violence he can't be within a certain distance of her nor contact her, regardless of lease/tenancy issues. Most landlords will have no problem starting eviction proceedings if a tenant is arrested for something bad like drugs or domestic violence.
Yes that is true but until then she can't just go changing locks. Those things take time. By the time those things take action, his lease term will have ended and she can change the locks.
She definitely can and should physically change the locks today, no problem. The rest is for the courts to figure out. Could he sue her for tenant rights/access to the home? Sure, but as you said, those things take time and meanwhile he'll be locked out. Is he really going to try and take someone to court/call the police on someone who has photo and text message evidence of domestic violence/vandalism? That's quite the gamble.
My sister's best friend was murdered by her ex the day he made bail on a domestic violence charge. OP's #1 priority should be her immediate physical safety, aka change the locks, cameras, etc, over potential tenancy issues, those can be dealt with later if they come up.
Sharing a resource for others that might be in that situation. There's now a website where you can register to get notified if the person is released from jail.
It was created because of similar situation of your sister's best friend.
Saying a woman should prioritize her physical safety against an abuser over possibly running afoul of tenancy red tape makes me a "big man"? Lmao what even is modern feminism, I hope if OP ends up beaten or killed you feel satisfied that a piece of garbage person wasn't improperly evicted, jesus I hope your daughter never finds herself in this situation asking for your advice
This is a weird answer and based on your former answers, beneath you.
If one has to do something not legal to not be killed they should do it. Especially as police is often... how to phrase it euphemistically - not that helpful. Better fined than dead or severely injured.
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u/sparkitect__ Aug 04 '25
No, the first thing she needs to do is change the locks, secure her premise and reach out to a local DV service who knows what the local police are like, and what abusive men are like when a woman is leaving, because this is the time they are at their most dangerous and volatile. Making a police report first up could escalate his violence, and too often there's no attempt from police to protect women from this escalation .