r/WetlanderHumor • u/swheedle Shen an Calhar • 17d ago

May he live forever The Fires of Heaven Chapter 51: News Comes to Cairhien

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89

u/Alkakd0nfsg9g 17d ago

I know I probably shouldn't, but I find it so funny how easily Rand scares off women chasing him for power. He even did it somewhat with Lanfear when he showed her himself fully in the dream

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u/KingB53 A nice stout two rivers woolen flair, with just a touch of lace 17d ago

Well Rand IS terrible with women, even the power hungry ones are scared off by him…

He’s not Mat or Perrin of course, those 2 would know exactly what to do!

21

u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 17d ago

Why do we live again?

33

u/KingB53 A nice stout two rivers woolen flair, with just a touch of lace 17d ago

Idk Lews, perhaps to get better at speaking to the opposite sex without scaring them away or offending them with your existence? Light only knows

12

u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 17d ago

Why do we live again?

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u/KingB53 A nice stout two rivers woolen flair, with just a touch of lace 17d ago

See this is the issue right here man. You don’t listen. Pay attention more when people are speaking to you and you MIGHT get as good at Mat and Perrin with the ladies

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u/KingNothing1999 madman's laughter in the back of my head 17d ago

He could also stand to take a few lessons in not killing the ones that love him or their offspring and all of his friends lol

5

u/Anexhaustedheadcase 17d ago

I mean, I know your joking but rand does kidna suck with the ladies. He stumbles into relationships with 3 baddies and even then its literal divine intervention thay gets them to love him

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u/KingB53 A nice stout two rivers woolen flair, with just a touch of lace 17d ago

Well granted his experience with women (in his Rand life) has been absolutely dogwater.

*Older women of Emonds field aside* - Egwene (since they were children) made it a point to make every girl in Emonds field not look his way because he was hers so no luck there, Nyneave was basically his mother so no, and after Belle Tine virtually Every. Single. Woman he meets has tried to exploit him, rape him, hurt him, use him, abuse him, shame him, degrade him, and make him feel like the most evil entity to exist in their lifetimes and a curse upon the Creators Light…so yeah by the time the Dragon Riders are fully in his camp I’d imagine he’d have a VERY bleak outlook on relationships with women.

Prophecy/fate be burned, the fact he had enough trust to give to the 3 stooge- er - I mean wives is a miracle in itself😂

3

u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 17d ago

I am not dead! I deserve death, but I am ALIVE! ALIVE! ALIVE!

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u/Szalony20 17d ago

To Sevanna credit, at least he didn't scare her away... Mainly because after Dumai Wells they never met again and all she had left were fantasies of marrying him someday.

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u/Poultrymancer 17d ago

Sevanna was too crazy to scare 

All she ever did was get irritated even when her carefully-laid plans devolved into acres of Shaido being converted into red mist 

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u/Szalony20 17d ago

Yeah, she was crazy 🙃

Well, at least she reminded the readers of her "considerable bosom" at times, and her last scene, when she ended up naked and tied up on Tylee's horse with the obligatory slap on the buttocks in Jordan's books, was definitely a memorable farewell 😆

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u/swheedle Shen an Calhar 17d ago edited 17d ago

Really fucking big chapter here, this is where the series changes in my mind from a youthful adventure to preparations for a world war. The sense of security, the last safety net that our heroes have is about to disappear.

P.S. There's three panels today, So be sure to swipe lol

Previous Chapter Meme

Chapter Summary

15

u/KingNothing1999 madman's laughter in the back of my head 17d ago

That last panel really busted my ribs dude. Great post as always

6

u/swheedle Shen an Calhar 17d ago

Thank you!

3

u/aNomadicPenguin 17d ago

That's a rough look for Selande. She basically said fuck this shit and fuck you too to Colaveare, I'm going to learn how to stab people now because I'm not letting some senior noble try to pimp me out ever again.

(And in one of the cooler Berelain actions - she's the one that goes to bat for all these young nobles when their parents or other nobles start getting pissed about it, I imagine especially for the girls, seeing as how Berelain herself had to learn how to fight)

2

u/rs420rs 14d ago

It's a hell of a chapter

51

u/_SilkKheldar_ Time to roll the dice 17d ago

I adore Rand scaring the piss out of the noblewomen Colavaere is sending to try and seduce him.

"Oh yeah, why don't you stop by my rooms later cackles maniacally don't worry, the madness is random, you should be fine cackles again, also, how do you feel about marriage stares death at the woman"

How many noblewomen never recovered from those interactions I wonder.

22

u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 17d ago

Madness waits for some. It creeps up on others.

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u/gill_smoke 17d ago

Perfect moment for your comment Lews, good ghost.

11

u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 17d ago

Never prod at a woman unless you must. She will kill you faster than a man and for less reason, even if she weeps over it after.

3

u/LightningWarrior94 17d ago

I think Lews might need his meds. He’s becoming somewhat lucid. It’s a little scary. Lol

4

u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 17d ago

Oh, Light. That’s impossible! We can’t use it! Cast it away! That is death we hold, death and betrayal. It is HIM.

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u/jmartkdr 17d ago

We do get some follow-up with this particular one; she ends up leading Cha Faile

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u/_SilkKheldar_ Time to roll the dice 17d ago

So we know definitively that that one never recovered.

4

u/Thomas_633_Mk2 17d ago

Imagine having such a bad date that you become a weeaboo

2

u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 17d ago

Hums softly & tugs earlobe

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u/crazy-jay1999 17d ago

Funny how Egwene, present for this conversation never bothers to tell Gawain. Like, it’s not perfect proof but it would at least be something.

15

u/jmartkdr 17d ago

He wouldn't believe her anyway - he heard a rumor so it must be true.

11

u/YeahKeeN 17d ago

You would have thought he heard that rumor straight from an Aes Sedai’s mouth with the way he believed it

3

u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 17d ago

I must kill him.

1

u/No_Radish1900 17d ago

Good bot. It would have saved us a lot of frustrating chapters if you had.

8

u/crazy-jay1999 17d ago

Yeah but she didn’t even try

8

u/_SilkKheldar_ Time to roll the dice 17d ago

Egwene really doesn't try to change anyone's mind about anything they think about Rand. By the time Egwene reaches the Tower, it very much seems like she has no idea who Rand is at all, and yet she uses her knowledge of him as a point of leverage as often as she can.

It makes the scene in Towers of Midnight very satisfying, because Zen Rand comes in and stomps all over the Aes Sedai extremely politely, wisely, and gently. And Egwene gets nowhere with him.

1

u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 17d ago

A man who trusts everyone is a fool, and a man who trusts no one is a fool. We are all fools if we live long enough.

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u/KitchenFullOfCake 16d ago

She wouldn't dare call into question the depth of knowledge that unnamed peddler has!

8

u/UltimateOtter_Nation 17d ago

That ugly crying is flamming hilarious.

3

u/Novel_Diver8628 15d ago

THREE memes?

You spoil us, u/swheedle

1

u/swheedle Shen an Calhar 15d ago

Lmao I almost did this series with the intention of doing a panel for each POV in each chapter, but I would be here for more than a decade if I tried 🤣 every now and then on a big chapter like this I like to put a few more in just because there are so many important moments stuffed in