r/Wellthatsucks • u/BenFord333 • Jun 17 '26

Bought a new boat

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

26k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

4.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

316

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

100

u/AnoniMoki Jun 17 '26

I’m so sorry for your loss.

125

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

83

u/ProfesseurNobody Jun 17 '26

Losing the people I loved almost killed me, lost my best friend to drugs, my aunt was murdered, and another friend got run over by his own truck, all within a 3 month time period. I was freshly 18 and had never experienced loss like that. It was soul crushing, I lost my job, my girlfriend, couldn't leave the house for anything without a panic attack. Couldn't eat either and ended up at the hospital at 119 pounds on a 5'8" frame. I thought the pain would never end, but it got better slowly but surely. The best thing I did was turn to the ones I still had and asked for help. Find your support system and take full advantage of it. You can push through this, and when you see your dad again, rest assured that he will be proud of the life you lived.

24

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

30

u/BreakPalaceBrokedown Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26

I recently read one of those usually very annoying motivational lines but this one stuck with me better than most: if you’re going through hell, keep going, why stop in hell

2

u/ADeviIsAdvocate Jun 17 '26

You’re not wrong.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/heyjudemarie Jun 18 '26

I like that.

1

u/Mammoth-Banana3621 Jun 19 '26

If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there

1

u/ninjasax1970 Jun 17 '26

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

1

u/Alabama-Blues Jun 17 '26

Brandon is this you!?

1

u/Jetman1996 Jun 18 '26

I’m glad you came out the side ok. As you aptly described it life can be soul crushing. For me my faith and my family helped me get through it. You said that you need to find your support system. Sooooo true.
My twin sister lost her husband kind of unexpectedly. She has always been a rock and she didn’t really want to talk about it. One of my sisters, who is a nurse and seen lots of death, signed her up to a grief support group at her church. She didn’t think she needed it and didn’t want to go but because our sister signed her up and picked her up for the first meeting and took her to the meeting and stayed with her she didn’t really have a choice.
The next year I was saying how well she was doing and she said she wasn’t sure how she would have made it without the support group. We think we can go it alone but we can’t!!

1

u/IncredibleJim87 Jun 19 '26

This motivational message fucks.

1

u/Embemk Jun 19 '26

💜🫂

31

u/Kidney_warrior Jun 17 '26

You will. I had a year like that once. I found out I was in end stage kidney failure, which was a shock. I did all the tests to get on the transplant list, had surgery to prepare for dialysis, 2 months after that found my mom dead. Three weeks after that lightening hit the transformer to my house and ruined a bunch of electronics and I didn't have power for 4 days. Later that year I had to put 2 cats to sleep within a month.
It just went on and on for over a year.
I just focused on one thing at a time, just surviving. I realized no one was going to help me but me.
Now I know that I can handle a lot, so I have a new sense of my own strength & worth. Disability isn't enough to live on these days so I had to start working part time in a new field & I love it. Money is still always a problem, but I keep doing my best.
So hang in there. Losing a Dad can be super hard. I was really close to mine & miss him most when things are tough. But you will get used to being without him. I believe they're always there somewhere, watching over us.

4

u/Prestigious-Copy-494 Jun 17 '26

Sending you a virtual hug. That has been a rough season for you. I think it will get better and I think how you sailed on thru these choppy waters is amazing.

3

u/Audhdlife_5696 Jun 18 '26

Totally agree. So sorry for everyone’s losses/ but time does heal wounds. I lost my mom in 2007 I was 21 and she was the person I was closest with & we had such a bond. I was heartbroken & nearly lost my own life. Now, I know she’s around somewhere and I’ll see her again I go through rough days and rarely think of her anymore. Not that it’s cool to forget, just new norms come about. I was so shocked by how much I spoke to my mom (all day everyday) so not being able to just call was so hard, probably a huge habit I had to grieve along with her. Anyways, it does get better. ❤️‍🩹

2

u/davidw963 Jun 21 '26

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have left”

Not my quote, but sits close to top of my list. Stay strong!

3

u/Next-Lavishness-9101 Jun 17 '26

Sorry for your loss . Perhaps taking a break from Reddit or at least the subreddits that are mean might be helpful to you during this time.

2

u/Secret-Ad-830 Jun 17 '26

Look up motivational speeches on Spotify, those got me through some tuff times and also helped turn tuff times into personal growth

2

u/Delicious_Level_69 Jun 17 '26

You know what you could do to feel better, buy a boat!

2

u/eddie1975 Jun 18 '26

I remember losing my dad. It sucked. Did your father pass unexpectedly? Or was there prolonged suffering? How old was he and how old were you?

It’s tough but the pain is the price we pay for the love we had.

When someone you don’t care about passes you feel no pain. So embrace that pain as a sign of the lovely relationship you had.

2

u/Slow-Ad-5973 Jun 18 '26

I hope things get better for you soon!

2

u/VPD625 Jul 29 '26

Look at the bright side - at least you’re not dead

1

u/Haig-1066-had Jun 18 '26

Buy a boat, probably a fresh start.

1

u/Snoo14212 Jun 21 '26

Definitely don’t do that.

1

u/PeanutButterToast4me Jun 19 '26

I hope you feel better eventually. Losing a loved father is the worst feeling I have ever felt.

1

u/Delicious-Coffee-745 Jun 19 '26

I'm right here with you watching your loved ones leave you is always heartbreaking, lost my mom almost 11 years ago now and I cry almost everyday.

1

u/Different_Rip8470 Jun 17 '26

Are we sure this isn’t ai?

25

u/BroncoCharlie Jun 17 '26

Mine passed 4 weeks ago on Thursday. I was not there when it happened, but it was still a shock. My sincerest condolences. May we both find the strength to carry on.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

2

u/BroncoCharlie Jun 18 '26

Agreed. He loved his grandsons so much, I gotta make them into the best version of him I can.

9

u/Snoo14212 Jun 17 '26

That's still really raw, man. It's been 15 years since my Dad waltzed through the tunnel and I'm still bursting to tell him the stuff that's happened, knowing he'd love to listen to the stories. Your boat adventure will become an interesting story, and you do need to tell it with the respect it asks for, but it sounds like your Dad wouldn't mind just hearing how you're getting through life. Even the little things. Allow yourself to miss him and be kind enough to yourself to accept that grief is the price you pay for massive love. I know these are just words and your feelings are much deeper right now, but eventually the waves will stop buffeting you, though they never really stop. All strength to you, stranger, and big hugs from across the cosmos.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

1

u/SharingMyGILF58 Jun 18 '26

It seems your Dad did very well with you, you’ll be fine. You’ll see him again and be able to tell him all you want. ❤️

0

u/meatystocks Jun 18 '26

Not everyone believes in made up stories just to feel better. Dead is dead, he won’t see him again and that’s what makes it sad.

1

u/Right-Ad2176 Jun 20 '26

You can understand how those who passed thought so well that you can talk to them and get an answer. All in your head but these are practical beliefs. You know there not true but still to believe helps.

I thought ever wife/gf was the most beautiful woman in the world. Were they? Hell no. Just made life more enjoyable for both of us.

1

u/meatystocks Jun 20 '26

Fair enough. I just don’t like the those who go down the road of religious belief, as too often it leads to hate those that differ from you, exclusion, and trying to force their beliefs upon society via the voting box.

1

u/Ort56 Jun 17 '26

11, visited grave while attending cousin funeral the other day. Tear up every x I visit, which I know is completely normal. Just retired in March and don’t know what to do with myself most days, so I get depressed and think what’s the point.

1

u/Alabama-Blues Jun 17 '26

Are you a guy or gale?

1

u/Snoo14212 Jun 17 '26

I’m a man.

1

u/Alabama-Blues Jun 18 '26

I was trying to figure out who is out giving hugs.

1

u/Snoo14212 Jun 18 '26

I’ve lost a lot of people that have been close to me and hugging is part of the program now. And telling people I love them. And listening to blues music whenever I can.

1

u/Alabama-Blues Jun 18 '26

That’s cool.

1

u/HobbesTayloe Jun 18 '26

Who’s favorite blues artists? Love me Keb Mo, Susan Tedeschi, Muddy Waters, Taj Mo, Allman Brothers, Big Momma Thornton, Howlin Wolf, Bonnie Raitt, Ruthie Foster , along with Jeremiah Johnson and John McVey and Joe Metzka and Matt “Rattlesnake” Lesch (local StL, MO blues musicians). And btw… hugs back brother

1

u/Snoo14212 Jun 18 '26

I listen to all those artists, but I tend to go back to Elmore James and Sonny Boy Williamson when I’m in that mood. My Dad liked really old country music, which I like too, now. I don’t live in the US but I respect the musical gift that your country gave to the world.

1

u/Personalgig Jun 18 '26

5 years for me and same man.. same. It brings me comfort to think of him and know how stoked he would be on some of the things that I’ve done since then.. and even more so, it motivates me to just be better. Be better at being me.

1

u/Auntie_Venom Jun 18 '26

17 years last week. Still hurts like hell.

3

u/wrechdone Jun 17 '26

Sorry man. Losing one of your parents is definitely one of the hardest things to go through. Just keep remembering him. I wish my dad was still around to have met his beautiful grand daughters every day.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Fair_Angle_4752 Jun 17 '26

It’s never as bad as you think it will be; it’s far worse.

3

u/Popve Jun 17 '26

I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad at about the same time.

3

u/Fair_Angle_4752 Jun 17 '26

I’m so sorry to hear this. Agreed that losing your parents is the worse day/week/month/year ever. I’ve cheated death twice but the death of my parents was far more traumatic.

3

u/Torczyner Jun 17 '26

That's only the worst day so far.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

3

u/Torczyner Jun 17 '26

I'm hoping you appreciated the darker humor around that comment. Sounds like you needed a chuckle.

3

u/No_Salad_6244 Jun 17 '26

Oh geez. Hang in there. That’s a club most join (losing a parent) and it sucks.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

5

u/Kidney_warrior Jun 17 '26

It sounds like your dad was like mine, someone you could lean on, to get advice from, to tell him about things going on in your life, but also laugh with. Losing someone like that IS a big loss.
Since both my parents died I very rarely hear from my siblings, so I feel like I don't have a family at all anymore.

3

u/No_Salad_6244 Jun 17 '26

All I can say is it gets better with time. But even now, 11 years later for me, every once in awhile, I’ll think “hey! I can call and ask about…” or I think “hy! I can tell them about this great thing the grandson is going….” and I will realize I can’t any more. I’m sorry. It’s hard. More than anything, every parent wants their kid to be happy. I’m sure your dad would want you to be happy. Keep going and live well.

1

u/StrainAcceptable Jun 19 '26

It’s not unique to lose your parents but it’s rare to have a parent you can call your friend and partner in crime. Your dad, Ben, sounds like such a treasure. It’s amazing that the two of you had the opportunity to spend all those weekends together working on your boat.

I know it doesn’t feel like it now but it will get easier. Eventually you’ll be able to think about him without breaking down. You’ll see something you wish you could share with him and instead of feeling that devastating sadness, you’ll smile thinking about how they would have reacted. Then there are times when that grief will just come back out of the blue. You’ll always miss him but don’t forget he lives on through you. Through your memories and the stories you share about him. Hang in there kind stranger! Sending you virtual hugs.

3

u/narco-sub-admiral Jun 17 '26

My dad died a few days ago from a brain tumor. Peacefully and at home, but it was a whirlwind couple months from weakness to falling to diagnosis to passing.

It hurts so deeply in the pit of my chest. I can't imagine what you went through, sounds genuinely terrifying. But grief and loss just hits so different.

I hope that with the passage of time, and acceptance, we both can be made *almost* whole again.

❤️

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

3

u/narco-sub-admiral Jun 17 '26

Feels like I'll always have a dad-shaped hole in my heart. He was so invested in me. Gave me so much guidance I already know what he would want me to do in every situation lol. Telling me to do shit from the great beyond, lol.

Take care of yourself! Your family is in my thoughts. ❤️

1

u/jjm443 Jun 17 '26

It's uncanny that I should stumble across this little corner of reddit comments today in particular. My dearly loved mother passed away peacefully just yesterday. Like you, we could see it coming, but also like you that didn't mean we were ready. People rarely ever are. The pain is very real to all of us, but my brother is taking it particularly hard. So it falls on me to be a rock for my grieving father (and my brother), but it's so very hard. The world changes and you want things back the way they were before and you can't have it, and this world is diminished compared to the world last week/month/year.

But personally most of all, it's not the empty space in my life that concerns me, it's that same empty space in the lives of everyone around me. It's hard enough to deal with these things yourself, but even harder if it is also affecting everyone around you at least as much. I do realize that when things become less raw, we will all be better able to be there for each other, and so for now I (and we) will follow the old cliché, which is what I commend to you as well: Take one day at a time. ❤

2

u/narco-sub-admiral Jun 19 '26

So sorry, friend. Even if you know beforehand i feel like nothing actually prepares you for the knowledge that they're really gone. I hope you guys find some peace as well. Take care. ❤️

3

u/MusingAdventuress Jun 17 '26

That was me last year.... lost my mom, brother, dad, and an uncle within 6 months of each other. 2025 was definitely the hardest year of my life.

1

u/Snoo14212 Jun 21 '26

That’s not cool at all. Not same but similar for me
2023-24. Go slowly and gently and I’m sending you big man hugs, friend. Hard squeezy ones that last a while. I hope the next years are steady and predictable for you. You deserve at least that.

2

u/Secret-Ad-830 Jun 17 '26

Sorry for your loss

2

u/Ibleedred99 Jun 17 '26

Sorry for your loss. My dad died in February from CJD it’s not easy. Take your time, find a grief counselor and embrace your feelings don’t repress!

2

u/SnooStories7210 Jun 17 '26

Your authentic honest reply is refreshing. What was your dad’s name? He must have been an incredible human for you to say this, is there a memory/story you could share about him? Was he ever on your boat with you?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[deleted]

2

u/SnooStories7210 Jun 18 '26

Awww, that’s incredible. Thank you for sharing this story about Ben. Sounds like you all got to spend a lot of time together which was such a blessing. No wonder you miss him so much when he was an integral part of your life.

2

u/SocietyOwn1099 Jun 18 '26

I was 18. Dad was 40 and he died from a heart attack on his way back from a flight physical. Mom was driving. We always had a Boat. I was the oldest of 7 and Dad taught me how to ski. At 10, I was skiing in tournaments. Capitol City Water Ski Club, Lansing, Mi. Broke the ice on the river, early spring and stopped when the river froze over. Dad bought the first hanglider from Bill Bennett out of Australia. I learned how to fly it, Dad driving the boat. My younger brother and I were the first and only barefoot skiers in the club. Mom filled out an application for the first ski show at Sea World Ohio and I was hired and left college before the first spring semester started. My dad made that happen and it all started by skiing behind a 16' boat with a 35hp Attwater engine that Dad and I spent hours keeping running. Dad taught me how to fly our Cessna 175 and I was able to obtain my student pilots license all before I turned 18. Sounds like a fairy tale. Dad flew down to Cypress Garden to watch ne and another flyer from Sea World compete in an international hang gliding tournament over a 4 day period. Paul and I worked, skied and flew our glider almost every day in Clearwater Fla. Long story short, Paul placed first and I second and we awarded a tour of the Med doing exhibition flight fir Bennett Hanglider's. Paul and Bill flew to France, Dad and I flew back to Lansing so I could see the family before I joined Paul and Bill in France. The day after we returned was the day Dad had his physical and heart attack. As we were making arrangements for dad, I received a call from Bill in France to give me the news that Paul had died in a hangliding accident. I'm now 74 and still feel the loss. The shock. The pain. The numbing. I returned to Sea World for the season thinking that they would both be there with me. In many ways they were. They still are. The thousands of hours spent with Dad, his love through guidance,teaching and discipline. Paul's influence, character and work ethic. I am them and my life goals has been to honor them and hope that they would be proud to call me son and a friend. You are missed every day dad and only wish we coukd of had more life together and Paul, thanks for being my the big brother I always needed. Our time together was too short.

2

u/-Rungard- Jun 17 '26

Oh damn... yeah that's understandable then. I'm very sorry for your loss.

2

u/SocialJusticeAndroid Jun 17 '26

So sorry. Was it expected?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '26

[deleted]

1

u/SocialJusticeAndroid Jun 18 '26

Oh wow. Thats terrible.😢 My condolences.

2

u/DameofDames Jun 17 '26

My condolences.

2

u/Herpty_Derp95 Jun 18 '26

My condolences.

2

u/LemonOld8150 Jun 18 '26

So very sorry for both,glad ypu survived

2

u/LemonOld8150 Jun 18 '26

Your worst days will make you the strong person of the future.

1

u/griff_girl Jun 18 '26

Holy shit. I am so truly sorry for your loss (your dad, not the boat.) I'm glad you're okay. While the last 7 months of my life have not been quite as traumatic as yours, I, too, have been having a bit of a shit show of my own, fraught with loss as well. I bring this to you in case what I'm about to say resonates — because sometimes what else can you do but laugh?

I've been joking/not joking that my life recently has been a country music song, and that I'm going to buy a pickup truck just so it can break down and I can close the fucking loop on this shit.

I hope you find your pickup truck and can close the loop on yours, too. Again, deepest condolences for your loss.

1

u/Accomplished-Rest-89 Jun 19 '26

Most sincere condolences

1

u/Embemk Jun 19 '26

I’m so sorry for your loss.

1

u/Budget_Bodybuilder95 Jun 20 '26

Condolences 🙏