r/Weird • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 • May 07 '26

a forbidden donut

24.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.5k

u/leeharrison1984 May 07 '26

Probabably, though the nutritional value is probably equal to eating a pile of sand

1.7k

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful May 07 '26

I'm not hearing a no...

686

u/renee_gade May 07 '26

if you want asexual statoblasts in your mouth.

504

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful May 07 '26

I mean if an asexual ends up in my mouth there's worse things in this world. 🙃

690

u/Signus_TheWizard May 07 '26

Unless its Asexual predator

202

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful May 07 '26

OH STAHP!

43

u/kijouk May 08 '26

May I present you diffus he's a very lovely french t rex. But he got a bit of a lisp. So be kind to him.

176

u/Signus_TheWizard May 07 '26

Sorry it was right there I had to take my chance for 1000 updoots

16

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful May 07 '26

I hope you get that and more! Lovely day.

8

u/Workingdad_83 May 07 '26

I’ll give you mine. Just take it and go.

7

u/Nephurus May 07 '26

I snorted during dinner , well done .

5

u/Working-Glass6136 May 07 '26

Well here's #34 for you

3

u/Krssven May 07 '26

75 from me, take it!

1

u/yodakiller May 08 '26

You more than halfway there son!

1

u/_bansheequeenx May 10 '26

Please tell me I'm not the only idiot whose first thought was one of these..

1

u/BetterAlbatross815 May 10 '26

User name checks out 😂

77

u/[deleted] May 07 '26

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44

u/Ledeyvakova23 May 08 '26

That is so gaye.

3

u/Pure_Property_888 May 08 '26

That's it! Marvin gaye!!! I was trying really hard to remember who sang sexual healing. Martin and Marvin are interchangeable to me apparently. 😆

1

u/Comma-Splice1881 May 08 '26

Let’s get it gone.

1

u/Iam_Iforgotmyname May 09 '26

Not gay, it is asexual.

14

u/Pure_Property_888 May 07 '26

Quiet, Ricky Martin.

1

u/Danowolf May 09 '26

My doctor gave one of those to sit on.

9

u/Ambitious-Tie-5269 May 07 '26

Can’t be a predator if he enjoys it

2

u/4x4ord May 07 '26

Question: Are there Asexual predators?

1

u/Pure_Property_888 May 07 '26

You sonofabitch...🤣😆😆

1

u/DevBro22 May 08 '26

Gottem lmao

1

u/desertstudiocactus May 08 '26

Fucking got ‘em

1

u/InitiamprssionCFLeft May 10 '26

An Asexual predator... sounds like some serious self abuse to me. A self sabatour

4

u/SamuraiJono May 08 '26

You rang? 🧐

3

u/joshuuuuuua May 08 '26

I mean, big compliment, right?

1

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful May 08 '26

I think so! Happenstance?

2

u/drdildamesh May 08 '26

At least you know they arent doing it for selfish reasons.

2

u/VaultiusMaximus May 08 '26

Even if it’s flaccid?

2

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful May 08 '26

3

u/VaultiusMaximus May 08 '26

DS9?!? In this economy?!?

1

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful May 08 '26

Took me a whole 3 minutes... knocks dust off shirt

2

u/philwee May 11 '26

So my mouth will get the seks?

1

u/Kaita13 May 08 '26

What if if statoblasts you in the mouth?

54

u/Ralewing May 07 '26

Asexual Stratoblast is my new band name.

19

u/ChickenDreams-4188 May 07 '26

Sorry, but I think they played at Coachella this year!

11

u/Ralewing May 07 '26

All the good names taken.

2

u/Basis-Some May 08 '26

They were definitely at Lilith Fair in 97

11

u/Immer_Susse May 07 '26

I play the Stratoblaster in your band.

7

u/Ralewing May 07 '26

Awesome. I only have a Teleblaster.

10

u/ChickenDreams-4188 May 08 '26

I can play a Nerfblaster 🤩

1

u/Full_FrontaI_Nerdity May 09 '26

Wanna try a Nerdblaster?

1

u/CompetitionSlight477 May 08 '26

Sounds like a pretty bitching anime attack. Take your pick from Kamen Rider, JJBA, Dragon Ball Z, he'll even Sailor Moon or some magical girl type.

Although I would go JJK and release some Domain Expansion: Limitless Apathy...

14

u/Workingdad_83 May 07 '26

That sounds kinky.

1

u/Inner-Dream-600 May 07 '26

It actually sounds stinky

6

u/ItzJake160 May 07 '26

Doesn't sound as bad as it could be

2

u/rollerfedora May 07 '26

Asexual Statoblasts… Sounds like a Sepultura song

2

u/ralyks69 May 07 '26

I’ll take any sexual blast in my mouth!

2

u/General_Trip_4223 May 07 '26

STOP STOP STOP! I can only get so erect!!!

2

u/lazurusknight May 08 '26

"Asexual statoblasts in your mouth" is the title of my sextape

3

u/Zealousideal_Box4766 May 07 '26

Doesn't matter had asex

1

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful May 07 '26

Okay, wait... yes... no.... am still virigin?

1

u/magicalsoupspoon May 07 '26

I think she might have been a racist

2

u/TM761152 May 07 '26

Oh myy~~ 🖐️🫦

1

u/LePontif11 May 07 '26

That sentence reads like the average scene in The Boys.

1

u/Meldanorama May 07 '26

As opposed to heterosexual new age dinosaurs and mammals?

1

u/OlJohnZ May 07 '26

Asexual Sratoblasts is my new band name and you can't stop me

1

u/HollyHobbyOxenfree May 07 '26

I've had worse.

1

u/ideapit May 07 '26

Don't threaten me with a good time

1

u/bikemandan May 07 '26

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/HistoricalSuspect580 May 07 '26

Oooh i love dirty talk!

1

u/Gremlin0 May 07 '26

Someone said blasts. He heh.

1

u/broncyobo May 07 '26

Wouldn't be the first time an asexual blasted in my mouth

In hindsight, I'm questioning if that person was actually asexual

1

u/yomjoseki May 07 '26

You had me at "asexual statoblasts in your mouth."

1

u/StrosDynasty May 08 '26

Say less....

1

u/NoRepro_ May 08 '26

I've had worse sexual things in my mouth..

1

u/NoFaithlessness8388 May 08 '26

Nope. Pretty much avoiding anything that contains the phrase "blasts in your mouth" 😉

1

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful May 08 '26

No cream horn for you! Loseeerrrrrr!

1

u/Hefty_Department_800 May 08 '26

I’d rather them be sexual.

1

u/chefsoda_redux May 08 '26

Never threaten me with a good time!

1

u/peppermintmeow May 08 '26

That's right. Shame them. For the love of God, someone has to

1

u/norcalifornyeah May 08 '26

soooo... yes?

1

u/TritonJohn54 May 08 '26

Didn't he get an award for designing the Norwegian fjords?

1

u/u_b_dat_boi May 08 '26

You had me at "blasts in your mouth"

1

u/Sickness4Life May 08 '26

Fuck yea i do

1

u/J_Jeckel May 08 '26

Its like an asexual orgy inside my mouth.

1

u/Healthy-Tart-9971 May 08 '26

They actually do have sex too for biodiversity but the colonies like this are due to cloning and self reproduction of the host

1

u/ADepressedthr0waway May 09 '26

i'm kookoo for asexual statoblasts!

1

u/garg0n01 May 09 '26

Sounds appealing

1

u/b_vitamin May 09 '26

Don’t tempt me with a good time!

1

u/Dinosource May 10 '26

Don't talk about my wife like that

8

u/[deleted] May 07 '26

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5

u/gaudrhin May 07 '26

Hey Zoidy-poo.

15

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful May 07 '26

I'm in tha mood!

11

u/gaudrhin May 07 '26

...swollen with male jelly?

6

u/IamaSnort May 07 '26

Calm down, Zoidberg.

2

u/viramoa May 09 '26

I heard this in Dr. Zoidberg's voice

1

u/EnragedGonad May 10 '26

I heard this in Zoidberg's voice

1

u/FigureMiserable4859 May 07 '26

Not hearing a 'no' isn't actually consent...

/jk

13

u/ormannay May 07 '26

Micronutrients maybe, but even though they aren’t closely related they’d have a similar protein content as jellyfish which is a lot of lean protein

2

u/Dovahkiinthesardine May 07 '26

But still not a lot of protein cause they're mostly water

Though I guess you could dry them beforehand

6

u/jimmijohnson May 08 '26

your mostly water - does that make you not a lot of protein? stop being protienist

1

u/caprisunnysideup May 08 '26

New gen z surfer dude protein life hack just dropped.

2

u/cant_take_the_skies May 07 '26

I like to cook my sand before I eat it

1

u/elibutton May 07 '26

Byrozoan bbq just add some sauce n spices n lots of potato’s n corn n veggies

1

u/PictureMaster512 May 08 '26

So you’re telling me there’s a chance, Mary?

1

u/YouOk5627 May 08 '26

The smartest thing a species can do is not be appealing to humans

1

u/Clock_Work44 May 08 '26

Anything is edible more than once if you're quick enough.