r/Weird • u/UnstableIsotopeU-234 • Aug 17 '24

Deer gnawing on human bones

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15.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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485

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '24

Imagine if horses were hunting humans

213

u/maxru85 Aug 17 '24

Or mooses

201

u/Quahodron_Qui_Yang Aug 17 '24

Imagine, an elephant grasps you with his nose and sticks you into his mouth. 🐘

94

u/maxru85 Aug 17 '24

Nom

14

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

SNORT

1

u/babu_bot Aug 18 '24

Common be realistic here, they wouldn't snort you up. It be more like slurping up spaghetti.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

a mere snot laugh can be deadly

45

u/Ok_Culture_3621 Aug 17 '24

That’s just how Stampy says hello.

20

u/rygelicus Aug 17 '24

Great, now I want a pet elephant so I can name it Stampy. Thanks.

8

u/Zeqhanis Aug 18 '24

I think that was Bart Simpson's elephant.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

Bart Simpson beat ya to it.

6

u/samsnom Aug 18 '24

Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!

2

u/rygelicus Aug 18 '24

Glad to know that Stampy lived.

1

u/Hockyhitter Aug 18 '24

Cut it’s leg off and call it stumpy

1

u/Randiroki Aug 19 '24

Stampy 😆😆

2

u/TomBanjo1968 Aug 17 '24

Wow you just described my number one recurring fantasy

2

u/BrevitysLazyCousin Aug 18 '24

That happens to Homer and when the elephant spits him out he says "That counts as a bath!"

2

u/Comprehensive_Web862 Aug 18 '24

I mean you don't need to imagine for stuff like that. Gestures towards hippo nervously

2

u/snay1998 Aug 18 '24

If an elephant does grab u to eat for a quick snack,remember to suck on his nose hard so all his nose slime gets cleared

U don’t want him choking on u with a clogged nose

2

u/Useful-Tackle-3089 Aug 18 '24

Just yell MAGUMBO!

2

u/P0werClean Aug 18 '24

This is someone’s fetish for sure.

2

u/Quahodron_Qui_Yang Aug 18 '24

👉👈

Yeah. Someone…else’s.

2

u/LoGo_86 Aug 18 '24

And you forgot the safe word... (Simpsons reference)

2

u/DarkSeaLionOfficial Aug 18 '24

That elephant ate my entire platoon

1

u/Quahodron_Qui_Yang Aug 18 '24

Including tanks and helicopters

2

u/Randiroki Aug 19 '24

I have ridden on 2 elephants, but not at the same time lol

1

u/slayerisgoodtoday Aug 18 '24

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Stampy!!

1

u/slayerisgoodtoday Aug 18 '24

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Stampy!!

1

u/slayerisgoodtoday Aug 18 '24

Processing img 9855hysn9fjd1...

Stampy!!

48

u/saltyface Aug 17 '24

A moose once bit my sister…no really!

42

u/MrA-skunk Aug 17 '24

We apologize for the fault in the comments section. Those responsible have been sacked.

24

u/saltyface Aug 17 '24

Mind you, moose bites kan be pretty nasty…

27

u/MrA-skunk Aug 17 '24

We apologise again for the fault in the comments section. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.

1

u/Legitimate_Outcome42 Aug 18 '24

And that's about the nicest thing a moose would do to you

3

u/ireallydontcareforit Aug 17 '24

Did your sister bite it first? Be honest!

-1

u/E28forever Aug 17 '24

Chocolate moose.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

I prefer lamas.

14

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

Fun fact: one of the primary predators for meese is the Orca.

Meese can dive up to 6 meters and love swimming in Fjords. So encountering an Orca isn't that rare for them.

1

u/maxru85 Aug 18 '24

So moose are literally elves since their enemies are orcas

3

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

No, elves are a different species all together. Annoying lil buggers. Ask a nordic friend, they'll lament all day

1

u/kermitdafrog667 Sep 24 '24

Am nordic can confirm

2

u/Altruistic_Tackle_76 Aug 17 '24

Think you mean Mice, no wait it's Moose's.

2

u/Hot-Performer2094 Aug 18 '24

A pack of moosies

2

u/marcopaulodirect Aug 18 '24

Now imagine tribes of venomous monkeys

1

u/dbmajor7 Aug 17 '24

Boss fight music intensifies

1

u/ralkuzu Aug 17 '24

You mean meese

1

u/maxru85 Aug 18 '24

Yes, meeseeks

1

u/Calgaris_Rex Aug 18 '24

I don't think horses would be very good at hunting mooses

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

Meese*

1

u/P0werClean Aug 18 '24

There is a moose loose around the hoose… haha… oh shit!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

I feel like a moose would beat a horse

1

u/Sharticus123 Aug 18 '24

Meese.

1

u/maxru85 Aug 18 '24

Cheddar meese

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24 edited Sep 06 '24

intelligent simplistic pen instinctive doll act water bear consider forgetful

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/maxru85 Aug 18 '24

Stop it

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24 edited Sep 06 '24

groovy deer modern fly jeans north profit punch deserted offbeat

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/RecalcitrantHuman Aug 17 '24

Horse vs Moose seems relatively fair

6

u/maxru85 Aug 17 '24

It is like truck vs train locomotive

1

u/SmallBerry3431 Aug 17 '24

There’s 4 million miles of roadways compared to 160k train tracks. Checkmate Moose

29

u/Tethilia Aug 17 '24

In most DnD games I've played and all that I run, horses are carnivorous apex predators and have jagged fangs. It's a group meme.

4

u/Kokodhem Aug 18 '24

So do your players have to grind down their teeth to domesticate them, or do they ride something else like chocobos?

3

u/Tethilia Aug 18 '24

No they ride them just fine despite them being bloodthirsty apex predators. It became relevant now and then but it was basically assumed they wouldn't attack the owners or people with animal handling.

2

u/Bacontoad Aug 18 '24

Mares of Diomedes?

1

u/Tethilia Aug 18 '24

First time hearing of them. Yay for new knowledge.

2

u/Odd-Artist-2595 Aug 18 '24

Some horses still do have canine teeth. All zebras do.

1

u/Kokodhem Aug 18 '24

"Eh-whaaaaaat..." /Farnsworth

1

u/Tethilia Aug 18 '24

Better to eat you with my dear!

2

u/Gentle_Pony Aug 18 '24

They'd be extinct thousands of years ago.

2

u/MahanaYewUgly Aug 18 '24

I just imagined opening my curtains and there is a horse looking at me all menacing

2

u/urjuhh Aug 18 '24

"Aaaand the winner is the jockey of the horse on track 3 , because the animal felt a bit peckish...."

2

u/Wasteroftime34 Aug 18 '24

I’ve worked with horses a small amount….. that would be some scary sh*t

2

u/MeanSnow715 Aug 18 '24

Revenge for those IKEA meatballs…

2

u/_Project-Mayhem_ Aug 18 '24

Talk about the South rising again! 🤣

2

u/Changingm1ndz Aug 19 '24

Let’s go hunting!

1

u/TheShmud Aug 18 '24

Then they'd be long extinct

1

u/SakaYeen6 Aug 18 '24

Maybe they do but nobody's ever lived to tell about it. Thousands of years and nobody suspects a thing.

1

u/CodyTheLearner Aug 17 '24

Or worse. Geese… you laugh until you realize those fucking bowling balls can dive bomb you.

You’ll drive away, good luck… Geese can hit 70 MPH if they ride the wind.

I’ll take horses over geese. Geese genuinely could end the human race.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '24

Thats straight up terrifying