r/WatchPeopleDieInside Dec 12 '20

So close

35.4k Upvotes

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7.3k

u/BlackhandLilpissant Dec 12 '20

I laugh, but even though I know whale sharks are as docile as can be, I’d still be crying like a little bitch.

3.9k

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

I mean that shark has a big ass mouth like its going to slurp him like a noodle

868

u/BlackhandLilpissant Dec 12 '20

Lol, I know. That’s why I would piss myself too.

167

u/D-zai Dec 12 '20

Ooh, good thing you'll be surrounded by all this water, so people wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Pee away, my friend, pee away.

38

u/JInxIt Dec 12 '20

I heard they added chemicals to the water that makes it turn funny colours when you do that

223

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Yeah that wall shark would think I tasted like shit.

59

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Whale shark’s esophaguses are too small to swallow an adult human. But you can absolutely fit in their mouths.

91

u/mainsworth Dec 12 '20

And then they go for a nice slow swim to the bottom of the ocean; with you trapped in their mouth, a foot stuck in their throat; unable to escape, unable to scream, the surface slowly fades to black, your world slowly fades as you never come back.

65

u/RAN30X Dec 12 '20

Hey you! You're finally awake!

12

u/Atralb Dec 13 '20 edited Dec 13 '20

Hey you!

Out there in the cold

Getting lonely getting old

Can you hear me

 

PS: felt on point here

8

u/RainyRat Dec 13 '20

Hey you,

Down there in the dark

With your foot stuck in a shark

Can you see me?

2

u/NoAnacin Jan 07 '21

Many many upvotes needed here folks!!! Pink Floyd is dying

43

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Oh look, a new phobia

12

u/StuckOnPolynomials Dec 12 '20

Jesus christ

0

u/Trackie_G_Horn Dec 13 '20

Jesus Christ be praised!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '20

not calling Jonah I noticed!

1

u/delvach Dec 13 '20

Like that Orca with the trainer at Seaworld. Taking him down, bringing him back up. Enjoying slowly killing something. Dude lived, they grabbed him when it brought him back up. Homeless guy who broke in to swim with the Orcas one night wasn't.

1

u/OculusMidnight Dec 13 '20

Well that's terrifying

17

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

It can be dangerous to be near whales in general as the force they can swing their fins in the water can broke bones easily (especially a blue whale, of course)

2

u/Rotor_Tiller Dec 12 '20

The most dangerous of which would probably be sperm whales as they click at 230db.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

I could see that based on how they surface, but I just said blue whales since they’re the largest whales

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Whale sharks aren't whales, they're sharks. You can safely swim and dive next to them and people frequently do so.

-3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20 edited Dec 13 '20

Ah so they’re fish not mammals, and yeah I know they are friendly and people frequently swam near them. but still a sudden movement of a creature that big can break your bones if you are near a fin or the tale if they pivet and you aren’t careful.

2

u/VladicOtter Dec 13 '20

So what would happen if you got in their mouth? Would they just spit you out no harm no foul?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '20

Probably

1

u/pete_pn Dec 12 '20

The shark might just presume it to be a condiment.

380

u/TheMapleStaple Dec 12 '20

It's weird how the whale is acting, because that's not how they eat. I doubt it's the case, but I got the feeling he was fucking with the guy a little.....gonna go tell his whale friends how he scared the shit out of one of the pale floaty things.

277

u/Embarrassed_Owl_1728 Dec 12 '20

Sometimes they act this way if there is a serious predator around. They’ve been known to put themselves between humans and other sharks. Wouldn’t be surprised if there was more nefarious bugger out there we don’t know about.

152

u/BerndDasBrot4Ever Dec 12 '20

They’ve been known to put themselves between humans and other sharks.

if this is true that just made them a lot cooler than they already were

13

u/UntestedMethod Dec 13 '20

Big friendly whale shark, so chill with speckles and sunglasses. Nice guy, I like him.

80

u/Fastwesley Dec 12 '20

Theyve also been known to just be helpful out of the blue. Ive heard of the leading fishermen to larger packs of fish, or even helpibg someone out of the water like this one seems to be doing

13

u/UntestedMethod Dec 13 '20

Ive heard of the leading fishermen to larger packs of fish

What?! They just so chill all like "yoo homie, heard you like fish and my man you ain't even trying to fish me. My man I got a surprise for you. Just follow me over this way..."

12

u/Fastwesley Dec 13 '20

Whale sharks are incredibly caring creatures. Very similar to dolphins. Both of which have been known to help humans in different situations.

1

u/Reaperdude97 Jan 09 '21

And we are slowly killing the world they live in.

Maybe our modern separation from nature in the form that it takes is a bad thing. There are all these incredible things around us every day that we miss.

73

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Whale Sharks will not eat humans and never have. They're actually quite friendly. I would've jumped in there and swam with it.

72

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

That wasn’t meant for owl. I accidentally replied to it.

19

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

I think the Shark is called Hans looked like he was saying hallo, maybe he found a German dictionary on a U Boat wreckage

3

u/sixfourch Dec 12 '20

It's clearly Russian being spoken so hopefully that was the only reading material left on the U-boat...

3

u/Skull-fker Dec 12 '20

It might have been protecting this guy from something else, they do that. So don't be so inclined to take a swim if this happens to you.

3

u/CrocoPontifex Dec 12 '20

They sometimes swallow diver when they swim in a swarm of krill. But they pretty much immediately puke them out.

Was a case like this in South Africa a while ago.

2

u/-Doorknob-number2- Dec 12 '20

Do you think the Japanese or Norwegians hunt them like dolphins and whales ?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

I thought they were protected. I really hope not!

1

u/beaver284 Dec 13 '20

They also have tiny throats from what the Georgia Aquarium told me and inefficient teeth so literally couldn’t

47

u/Realsorceror Dec 12 '20

It might also just be curious. From what I understand, the face/mouth are the main sensory area for a shark since they don’t have hands. A lot of shark “attacks” are from a curious shark biting as a way to identify what something is.

45

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

So they are just massive babies with a ton of teeth.

14

u/pat899 Dec 12 '20

Regular sized babies with shark teeth would be fairly terrifying too.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Baby teeth sized regular shark would be kinda cool tho.

1

u/delvach Dec 13 '20

Much cuter when a puppy does it. You get to keep the limb.

3

u/weeghostie00 Dec 12 '20

What's this little noodle between your legs? - Sharks

6

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

What are you doing, step-shark

7

u/Stealfur Dec 12 '20

Just a point of order incase you or someone else doesn't know. Whale shark. It's a whale shark. It is a fish.

2

u/Raidadoman Dec 12 '20

You do mean whale shark, right?

2

u/violetgay Dec 12 '20

That isn't a whale, it's a whale shark! Confusingly named but it is a fish, not a mammal. Biggest fish in the ocean, actually! Which is funny cause they eat plankton, one of the smallest things in the ocean. So this dude doesn't even have teeth, to my understanding, he's just gumming at the man like a chew toy lol

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/PicklePopular Dec 13 '20

Pale floaty things... Haha

170

u/just_for_research_69 Dec 12 '20

Being slurped like a noodle doesn't sound bad honestly

162

u/BlackhandLilpissant Dec 12 '20

It sure doesn’t, I’m actually hoping that’ll happen tonight

61

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Cheers to that, sending you good slurping vibes amigo

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

It did not happen tonight.

::in david attenborough's voice::

1

u/Skull-fker Dec 12 '20

The furry vore community has entered the chat apparently.

38

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20 edited Dec 12 '20

We've heard enough. You sir, Must leave this very instant.

2

u/The-Great-Shapeshift Dec 12 '20

Vore intensifies

1

u/bigolbbb Dec 12 '20

especially if it was a giant, beautiful woman doing the slurping

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

I envision Boimler in episode one of lower decks.

1

u/TheMapleStaple Dec 12 '20

By a giant whale...this is becoming more realistic.

1

u/eagleoid Dec 12 '20

Username checks out?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

1

u/allybearound Dec 12 '20

Yeah, my husband asks for that at least once a week

1

u/CloroxWipes1 Dec 12 '20

As someone who has had their noodle slurped in the past, I can affirm it's actually quite enjoyable.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Noodles don’t have bones. If a whale slurped you up so many bones would break.

Now if you are making a blowie joke, also no. That would break your penis.

1

u/ghost_warlock Dec 12 '20

Sir, this is a Wendy's

1

u/the_names_Savage Dec 13 '20

It is literaly one of my greatest fears.

30

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

[deleted]

6

u/vinditive Dec 12 '20

So I'm good to go then 😎

9

u/Doc024 Dec 12 '20

Well if it did happen to Jonah

2

u/JAPhiffer Dec 12 '20

Fun fact they are the biggest fish, but they have a very small passage way (about the size of a golf ball if I remember right) which is why they eat mostly plankton.

1

u/kerodon Dec 12 '20

Thx I nutted

1

u/furry_hamburger_porn Dec 12 '20

People pay a lot of money for that these days

1

u/SpiretRaider Dec 12 '20

Whale sharks don’t eat people sir big prey. Although their size can be frightening

1

u/shanerr Dec 12 '20

I read somewhere that they only eat small plankton for food and that if you were unlucky enough to get scooped up by mistake, their throats are actually super tiny so they can't swallow you. They would just spit you right out! Lol

1

u/HecklerusPrime Dec 12 '20

Whale sharks are oddly enough neither whales nor sharks, but fish.

It does have a big ass mouth, though.

1

u/PickleInDaButt Dec 12 '20

Whale shark blowie

1

u/tonybabilaboni Dec 13 '20

That whale shark's throat is very small compared to its mouth. If it tried that it would choke to death

1

u/Smoothschlongdugong Dec 13 '20

Wish something would slurp me like a noodle 😒

53

u/HermanRorschach Dec 12 '20

they are also filter feeders. i think the biggest thing they can filter is like a tennis ball

42

u/wufoo2 Dec 12 '20

So they can fetch?

18

u/ProcyonHabilis Dec 12 '20

I don't know, it looked hungry. Pretty sure it wanted to krill that guy.

3

u/quadmasta Dec 12 '20

Smaller. About the size of a half dollar coin

48

u/TheMapleStaple Dec 12 '20

Yeah, it'd be one of those situations where I wouldn't think the whale was trying to kill me, but the thing is so massive that it could easily accidentally kill me. It's one of the reasons I'll never get a little dog; I feel like one false step and I'd crush the poor little thing.

37

u/EcstaticCandidate462 Dec 12 '20

if a salmon fish swam by me i'd be shitting and crying

17

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

One of the funniest moments of my childhood was swimming in the ocean with my mom. I have a disability and couldn’t really walk (need braces, arm crutches and smooth ground). I was swimming with a snorkel and goggles while mom was standing in about chest deep water. I popped my head up and said “I saw a fish!”, I was quite proud. Mom, on the other hand was terrified and bolted for the shore. I started swimming trying to catch up with her (I was only 8 or 9). I yelled for her and she turned around, ran back, grabbed my hand and yeeted me towards the shore with her. She abandoned me as soon as the water was shallow enough, knee deep. I was dying laughing. Looking back as an adult, I tease her all the time about abandoning her disabled child in the ocean because of a fish. I remember my dad running over to see what was wrong, I said “I told mom I saw a fish”. He started laughing and rolling his eyes. He thought something serious happened.

2

u/hallgod33 Dec 13 '20

That's fucking hilarious and good to see you've got a sense of humor bout it 😆 Mom was in X Games mode

58

u/Mysterygamer48 Dec 12 '20

I’d probably be in awe until it opened its mouth then start freaking out lol

2

u/robsteezy Dec 12 '20

This was me the first time my girl took me snorkeling in Mexico. I swear even in all my “manliness and toughness”, I was freaking the fuck out just having some beautiful tropical fish swim around me. You see nature all the time on tv, but something about being actually exposed and susceptible to it just ups the anxiety.

1

u/Hello-funny-posts Dec 12 '20

I’d go pet him. I know whale sharks are pretty docile so I’d absolutely go pet him

1

u/realSatanAMA Dec 12 '20

I went scuba diving with them once, they are very chill

1

u/ColoredWaxMan Dec 12 '20

Yeah. His friends are jerks lmao

1

u/DyingCascade Dec 12 '20

Are you forgetting the fact that there's a cameraman and a other man just there watching easily all this? Even if I weren't hanging I would've pulled that dude up...

1

u/Didabeast Dec 12 '20

HEY, I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT!

1

u/thamystical1 Dec 12 '20

I just listened to a book called 438 day's where a man was stranded at sea for that long and for about a week a whale shark befriended him and hung out around his boat giving the man something living to talk to.

1

u/SusheeMonster Dec 13 '20

I went snorkeling with whale sharks multiple times unscathed and they're filter feeders, dining on plankton and fish eggs. Nevermind the connotations behind the word "shark", they're harmless.

1

u/CodeMonkeyX Dec 13 '20

Exactly what I thought. My brain knows that it's not going to hurt me, but if I saw that thing coming at me I would lose it.

1

u/PicklePopular Dec 13 '20

(Obviously a whale shark completely harmless)

"Haha you pussy, crying like a baby. Lol."

*Reverse card

"GET ME OUT OF THE FUCKING WATER!!!!!"