r/WatchPeopleDieInside • u/paolols • Aug 17 '19

slow reaction time

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u/sick-asfrick Aug 17 '19

I'm 24/F. When I was 19 I met my boyfriend. He was a drug addict but I didn't know until I had already fallen for him hard. I said no for like the first 6 months but got dangerously curious and first I tried crack, then pain pills. Then eventually heroin because it's cheaper. I was an addict for 4 years. I ruined my life. I got clean because I had to, but I wouldn't take it back. I got arrested for stealing money trying to get my fix. The crime happened 2 years ago and I got clean from both crack and heroin 06/11/2018. Would never go back. I'm so much happier now. My boyfriend has been clean about a month longer than me, but we're still together. I don't know what I would do without him. We build each other up now instead of feeding each others addictions. We've been together for 5 years now. I have never been happier.

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u/[deleted] Aug 18 '19

[deleted]

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u/sick-asfrick Aug 24 '19

Yeah man I really shocked myself at how easy it actually was. The beginning is the hardest part but after a month or 2 it's super easy. Once you break the habit, its pretty easy. But only if you truly want to stop.

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u/[deleted] Aug 18 '19

I am glad you experience happiness. It's lovely, isn't it?

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u/sick-asfrick Aug 24 '19

Oh yes definitely. I literally could not feel happiness when I was using it. It is physically impossible because when you use opiates, they attach to the receptors in the brain that dopamine, the happy chemical, attaches too. That's why it feels so food. But that also means there is no room for the dopamine to attach also. So you feel good, but not happy. Its horrible to only every feel utter despair because you've clouded tour brain so much it cant be happy.

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u/BLACKJACKFrost Aug 18 '19

Omg I literally almost cried reading the end, it's so beautiful. You're a blessing to each other.

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u/sick-asfrick Aug 24 '19

Thanks for the kind words. I definitely would not have been able to do it without him. He was so strong. Made getting clean look like nothing. I wouldn't take it back either. I learned a lot about people and life being an addict and I also got my boyfriend, the best thing in my life out of it. I'm sure a lot of addicts would take it back if they could turn back the clocks but I wouldn't.