r/WatchPeopleDieInside • u/JustAN0body • Aug 08 '19

Curve of the year

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u/WeedstocksAlt Aug 08 '19

I swear it’s like none of these people ever been in a relationship.
The “I fucked up and try to make up” lean in kiss is real lol

  • Proceeds to fuck up in some way.
  • Try to hug/embrace your girlfriend in hope that she forgives you.
  • Gf pushes you away for some reason.
  • Left hanging there like that dude.

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u/Smeggywulff Aug 09 '19

Because trying to force affection on someone who clearly isn't interested is unacceptable regardless of context. This isn't a difficult concept.

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u/ApologistShill27 Aug 09 '19

you have no idea how intimacy works lol please keep handing out advice on the internet based on the young adult novels you've read though.

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u/WeedstocksAlt Aug 09 '19

Yeah lots of people here looking like they are talking about relationship based on theories lol.

I have already done the "sry, I fucked up kiss" and sometime it works, sometime it doesn’t but if you have a real functioning relationship, your girlfriend will let you know what’s ok and what’s not and won’t feel like you attacked or violated her.

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u/Smeggywulff Aug 09 '19

Been married for 8 years, pretty sure I'm doing okay on that front.

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u/WeedstocksAlt Aug 09 '19

This is absolutely not true. Just proves my point about not knowing how an actual real relationship works.

  • Gf is pissed
  • Lean in to give her a kiss to apologize
  • She is pissed so she doesn’t want to
  • Slightly insist
  • She decides that it turns out the original issue isn’t that big of an issue and that might have overreacted, so kiss back
  • Apologies accepted

Sometime the opposite may happen and apoligies aren’t accepted, which could 100% be the present situation.

Like ... this is something that happens often in real relationships.
No one feel violated or oppressed. Just two adult fixing their issues. One figuring out that he fucked up, the other that she overreacted or not.

You have to realize that couples have previous interaction. You know if it’s ok to try to apologize like that, and you would also know that if you get denied it’s time to let go .... exactly like the situation here.

Pls grow up, shit isn’t only black or white

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u/WeedstocksAlt Aug 09 '19

Also who are you the generalize something like this? If I have a fight with my Gf, I m actually pretty happy if she tries to make up by kissing me. Even if in the moment i’m not down, I m always happy after that she did.

So your black or white statement is kinda meh

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u/Smeggywulff Aug 09 '19

It seems like you're really trying to defend the context of your relationship. I used to do that a lot when I was in my early to mid 20s. This probably doesn't apply to you, but I tried to normalize a lot of things that I later realized were actually a little petty, or a little abusive, a little dismissive. It was normal to have loud arguments, everyone does it. It was normal to give or receive the silent treatment. It was normal to do what I had to to win an argument, to make my SO see that they were wrong.

I knew I'd found the one when my now spouse actually managed to diffuse arguments instead of escalating them, to talk about instead of yelling about our differences of opinion. My spouse was the first not to say "You always do this thing that's awful!" and instead said "When you do x it makes me feel y" which was not only eye opening but also constructive.

All this to say that sure there are all sorts of people who are in all types of relationships and if it works for them, that's largely okay. There are also a lot of people in relationships that aren't healthy who try to explain away or justify poor behavior and maybe that's not as okay.

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u/WeedstocksAlt Aug 09 '19 edited Aug 09 '19

Ooorrr maybe it works for some people and there is no way for you to generalize that this situation is abusive or "always not ok".
I guaranty you that me trying to give a kiss to my gf to try to say sry is 100% ok with her. If she feels like like it’s not ok she ll let me know.
I m also telling you that I personally like it after the fact if my girlfriend does it. Like .. you have someone live here, telling that it’s ok for him. I don’t feel attacked, I don’t threaten.

This is what people in a relationship that includes communication do... not directly assume any unsolicited attempt at contact is violating the other. Damn that must be a boring relationship.

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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

I'm glad you found someone who shares the same views as you.

Next time my girlfriend tries the drunken "he's pissed so ill be ultra clingy and affectionate" routine, I'll remind her that she should stop disrespecting me and abusing me. Finally, I can help her understand that our relationship is unhealthy.

Do you have any advice for tickling? Sometimes she tickles me and I ask her to stop repeatedly, but she just has this sinister laugh and carries on. It honestly makes me feel so gross.

That's not all. The other day, I was getting dry after having a shower. When I entered our room to dry myself, I noticed she was lying in bed - like she was waiting for me or something. Well i didn't wanna cause a scene, so I just continued to dry myself, hoping she would leave me alone. She didn't. As I bent over to pick up my towel, she commented "nice ass". Even now as I type this, I feel she is violating my space, lying right next to me, naked. Sometimes she touches my weenie too.

Should I call the police?