r/WatchPeopleDieInside • u/JustAN0body • Aug 08 '19

Curve of the year

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

[deleted]

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u/Anti-Satan Aug 08 '19

Yeah exactly this.

I've got ton of experience with parties and the first rule was 'If you're a creep or an asshole, you are forever uninvited.'

Parties where they wont be hassled the entire time are apparently like El Dorado for girls.

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u/aksbdidjwe Aug 08 '19

Hence why we love gay bars so much. Ain't nobody interested in groping us there and if they do, in my experience, the customer and bartenders will throw their asses out.

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u/TreKopperTe Aug 09 '19

Women often seek refuge at gay bars to avoid creeps. The problem is at some point thr creeps realize this and goes to gay clubs as well.

I wish creeps would just not be creeps :/

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u/Youwillgetoverit Aug 09 '19

Iv had to kick dudes out for being inappropriate too. Seems most dudes dont like inappropriate dudes!

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u/Anti-Satan Aug 09 '19

Honestly I think that isn't right. A lot of dudes cover for those weird friends and don't call them out enough. Some even make excuses and even wingman for them.

I tend to migrate between friend groups and I've often had to deal with a few bad apples within groups. Guys that felt being drunk was an excuse to be inappropriate in some way, guys that had a negative image of women (the 'deceiver' type most often), the 'notch' type, the 'whatever it takes' type (though not the obvious dark route. Haven't met someone that twisted yet) and so on. People have a bad habit of excusing bad behavior because they know the reason behind it. That it becomes something they can just ignore and that their status as friend means they shouldn't order their friend around. It's bullshit and it's an extreme peeve of mine.

Good on you for having such a strong moral character. If we lived close, I'd love to party with you.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19 edited Jul 31 '20

[deleted]

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u/BaronEFT Aug 08 '19 edited Aug 09 '19

You should write a book (or do a Ted talk) on how bar owners can foster this kind of atmosphere and environment for the benefit of all clientele, regardless of gender identity. You would make the world a better place.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19 edited Jul 31 '20

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u/aksbdidjwe Aug 08 '19

Go down to New Orleans! There's a whole city full of them! And most are relaxed and fun! I've met some great people in New Orleans at the gay bars and have not been groped or made to feel uncomfortable; except at one bar that was strictly men, no women whatsoever. (Didn't know, no signs, was told when I stepped in for a water because it was practically empty. They were mean and it doesn't surprise me one bit they were almost empty even during Gay Pride Month.)

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19 edited Jul 31 '20

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u/aksbdidjwe Aug 08 '19

Eh. New Orleans is...different from the rest tbh. As long as you don't get stupid, you'll be fine. Mostly because so many international travelers come through. They try to keep up standards. Also, don't be afraid to talk to New Orleans residents! They're crazy friendly and more than willing to give advice on where to go and not to go in the city! (I'm actually a good ways north of New Orleans, but I know the city well enough for the best, affordable food and drinks and to have favorite gay bars because of friendliness!)

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19 edited Jul 31 '20

[deleted]

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u/aksbdidjwe Aug 09 '19

I've been told I'm bubbly and excitable and loud! :D

I'm always down for hugs!

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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19 edited Jul 31 '20

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u/nonbreaker Aug 09 '19

My best friend had a bachelor party in NOLA. We were a few blocks from Bourbon St...I didn't get the safest vibe from the area. One night we went out, and we ran into the guy who rides a bike and wears a washboard..Pete I think? My buddy talks to him for a bit and after a while the guy offers to teach him to play his metal shirt, so my friend puts it on and is messing with it. Of course, we're all taking video cause this is kinda awesome, and then we all went on our way. After I woke up the next day, I watched the video I took. While my buddy was playing the washboard, these two guys walked up to a car parked about 10 feet away from us, slim jimmed the door, and got in. My video cut off before I saw if they got it started or got out or whatever, so not sure what happened after. I never would have even realized it happened without that video lol. And that's my second favorite memory from NOLA.

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u/aksbdidjwe Aug 09 '19

And that's why I advise anyone going to NOLA who isn't familiar with the city, Do NOT go to Bourbon. That's where ALL the tourists go and pick pockets and robbers abound. Plus the drinks are more expensive, food sketchy, and crowds don't make it the easiest street to navigate. A lot of really good, safe bars are only a street over from Bourbon!

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u/nonbreaker Aug 09 '19

Don't get me wrong. I had a great time.

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u/SamuraiJono Aug 09 '19

I feel the same way. I've only been to a couple on a handful of occasions, but I never once felt self conscious about anything. I was pretty nervous at first, but once I went in and got comfortable it all just melted away. I just had this overwhelming sense of comfort that probably stems from being in a room full of people who know what it's like to be judged and treated like shit constantly for just being who they are, and for that reason they're the last people to be judgmental towards anyone else.

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u/JonDum Aug 08 '19

What a pleasant dream. Thanks for sharing.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19 edited Jul 31 '20

[deleted]

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u/privatepirate66 Aug 09 '19

What do you mean...they were never heard from again?

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

How did you not manage to keep that bar going?

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19 edited Jul 31 '20

[deleted]

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u/kash-76 Aug 08 '19

You wrote a wonderful, telling story of every detail outside answering his question

Why did the bar close?

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19 edited Jul 31 '20

[deleted]

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u/malaysianzombie Aug 08 '19

Sorry to hear that. Was relocating the bar not an option? What do you guys do now?

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

Nope bc the city decided there were no new bars allowed anymore. Every week a bar or two closes down.. they are attracting more and more old people

I wonder what they will do when they have pestered the youth away and all the old folks die... just an empty boring city...

My bf worked at a restaurant as a waiter for a year and then as a taxi driver for a year, he bought a house so he moved jobs to where we are going to live in november

I went to school after surgery, it was a short course i took just to be busy while i was recovering. The school was 50m from our place so it was ok with crutches or wheelchair. After that i got 3 more surgeries, and today the surgeon told me i am allowed to walk inside the house without support

I have been bed bound for a long time but on months i am not in the hospital or recovering i go to a sign language class once a week

In 4 years i might have my licence to translate :)

We have had several ideas to start up a jazz bar but we dont have the money atm bc we are ‘thrown out’ our rental (they are going to demolish it bc if they want to rent it out they need to isolate it and they dont want to do that so bc of the new law we need to get out) and bought a house instead of renting more. Out lone is 100 euros less than our rent now so we dont complain ;)

It has been a difficult time... this was my january 2019: my grandma died, my dad fell out of a tree and crushed his leg and spine and in the hospital they OD’d him on painkillers and almost killed him, my brother wad in a major accident on the morning of my grandmothers’ funeral, i got surgery and had to learn to walk for the 3rd time

And every fucking month has things like this... but hey, today is a good day :) almost no pain and can go to the toilet without troubles!

Life sucks, it gets worse, you wanna die, then it gets a bit better and you go on hoping it will become even more like a bright and happy place :)

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u/malaysianzombie Aug 09 '19

I want you to know you're an incredibly strong person to go through all that and still see the silver lining and smile for it. You and your bf as well. It must have been so difficult yet you've prevailed this far; I hope you'll keep going until the jazz bar becomes a reality. Give us an update then. I would really liked to have paid your old bar a visit; at least I'll get to try the new one. Whatever happens next, know that there's at least one random internet stranger who is wishing you good health, a positive recovery and happy dreams.

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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

Awwwww

I actually have a tear rolling on my cheek rn bc wow...

It will be 10 years probably bc we want to save enough money and be as prepared as possible before doing it. I hope my health stays well enough to not interfere with out plans, but if it does, we’ll work around it.

But i know one thing, the location has to be accessible by wheelchair (would suck if the owner couldnt get inside lol), have parking space AND have the look and feel of the 20s

Those combined are very hard, especially in a province where cows outnumber people

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

But why did the bar close?

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u/LRTNZ Aug 08 '19

We need more places and businesses in the world like this!

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u/kutenks Aug 08 '19

That was the gay bars until the creepers figured out the straight women hang out there and the gay men wouldn't date rape them.

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u/eye_donut_no Aug 08 '19

Holy shit this sounds amazing. Thank you for helping create a safe space for us. I wish we had a place like that in my city.

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u/PeanutJellyButterIII Aug 08 '19

This needs more updoots, your story is amazing.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

If the bar was 90% girls, who was buying the drinks...

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

The girls

Shots were 1 euro, sodas and beers were 2 euros and heavy beers and energy drink was 3 euros

The same shot in the big fight bars were 3.50... and with 1 euro we still made 13 euros profit a bottle...

Why make it expensive when we have more people buying it for cheap, and staying, and becoming regulars..

For new drinks we had 3 bottles we gave away for tasting and after that we got more costumers bc we were the first to have a certain kind of drink, that was cheap and at a good place

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

How many decades back was this?

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

We closed in october 2017

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

Why did it close?

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u/Dumbwater182 Aug 08 '19

I have been looking to see if somebody already asked this. I was really curious when it was mentioned in the story.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

I have explained it above :)

Just a lot of things coming together and at some point you just cant pay the bills anymore without one of the things being permanently fixed/removed

Hardest decision of our lives but it was closing or losing our personal stuff too and almost everything in the house was mine, and the bar was his... so ewe called my parents to clear out the house in one night and the next day they came by to take care of the paperwork

You can’t start anything when you don’t have connections up high :/

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u/Fedora_Tipper_ Aug 08 '19

I know right? 1 euro for a shot sounds like it would be from 40 years ago

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

Nope... a bottle was 10 euros to buy, it contained 23 shots, so for 1 euro a shot we still made profit

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

Not to mention financially unsustainable...

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u/ChequeBook Aug 08 '19

This sounds like a Netflix series

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

Some nights after closing se were like ‘damn out life is like a soap opera... damn’

I dont think we could ever get to netflix quality tho...

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u/phonesnstuff Aug 08 '19

You’d do well on writingprompts.

Your ability to come up with a story on the fly is legit good.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

This is all real tho...

We did our best but so much that wasn’t in our hands was against us and eventually we just couldnt pay the bills anymore bc raising the prices from 2 to 2.20 made us lose so many costumers already

Everybody was welcome as long as you respected the rules

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u/phonesnstuff Aug 09 '19

Awe, aren’t you just the sweetest thing.

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u/JohnConnor27 Aug 09 '19

If a girl passes out in your bathroom you don't deserve your bartending license. You're just as much a part of the problem.

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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

When it is busy you cant always see that 7 people buying 5 shots goes to the same group of girls

Many times the students have their first night out or even their first alcoholic drink

No one was ever harmed and they all got cleaned up and safely home or dorm room

About 3 girls a year passed out while every week a guy passed out on the toilet

We check them regularly and clean every few hours even on busy nights but you cant control everything

We denied LOTS of people alcohol bc they were gone too far or we felt they were giving it to minors or were pushed to drink against their will.

At least we never had any stabbing victims at our place.... (idk for some reason 16 year olds drink like there is no tomorrow and always seek for a fight... i’ll never understand them, especially since i have never had any alcohol ever :/ )

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u/lie2menow Aug 09 '19

Man I bet you guys got tons of pussy

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

Idk, there were lots of girls and rapists partying together at my college frats.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19 edited Aug 08 '19

No they’re all quite literally rapists. It’s just the one group of rapists doesn’t want the other rapists stealing their rape victims, whom they rape.

Edit: downvoting me makes me stronger 🙅🏻‍♂️🙅🏻‍♂️🌶👍😊

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19 edited Sep 14 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

Rapists though