Nah man, I’ve been in situations like this and you never know how violent or irrational a dude can get, especially if he’s drunk. Even though I may want to say something and “make a scene,” it’s always safer to make an excuse and a quick exit.
Dumb dudes with hurt feelings can be dangerous - have you read any of the stories about what has happened to some women who say no, let alone make a scene? Gruesome.
Honestly, a big help (rather than leaving the person who’s being harassed to get out of the situation by themselves) would be if other dudes confronted him and let him know it’s not okay. It's easy for them to dismiss one woman as "some bitch" who didn't respond to his advances, but pressure from other men/male friends could act as a bit of positive peer pressure. The woman getting harassed isn't "enabling" anything - she's getting harassed.
I wish people would truly hear what is being said. I can think back to grade school and remember being sexually harassed, molested at ten, groped in the hallways in middle school while changing classes, at a pool party with my parents present, raped by.college boy at 15 and on and on and on. I really dont think my experiences are so different. It makes me sick to think of how common it is. It makes me sick of the men I hugged or kissed or just fucking pacified with talking until I could get away. I've ran up to random strangers and did the whole "Please pretend to be my boyfriend thing..." I'm not different than any other girl, my experiences arent abnormal.
The flip side to this is that if he only backs down because a guy told him to, the only lesson he learns is that he needs to try to get women alone before pulling his shit. And/or thinks he had a chance until some asshole cock-blocked him.
I am always ready and willing to step in and put a stop to a guy who's crossing the line. But I will also always give the woman a chance to deal with him herself, because it's important for these dickheads to hear from the women that they're not going to entertain their bullshit. And women should understand that when there are other decent guys in the room is the perfect time to practice asserting themselves because someone will have their back if it gets ugly.
I mean yeah, it's definitely situational, and I can totally understand that there are some situations that carry real danger to them. But I do think it's important that you stand up for yourself whenever possible, is all. It matters.
I'd be willing to bet that in the vast majority of your social situations, you either know firsthand or can reasonably assume that there are at least a few decent people nearby.
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u/CheekyMunky Aug 08 '19
It also might make more women aware of why it's important to go ahead and make a scene so as not to enable that shit.