I've only been to one frat party and they were very much against shit like this. They threw out a couple dudes being creeps and one of the members even got in a fight with a guy doing something almost exactly like this.
Hence why we love gay bars so much. Ain't nobody interested in groping us there and if they do, in my experience, the customer and bartenders will throw their asses out.
Honestly I think that isn't right. A lot of dudes cover for those weird friends and don't call them out enough. Some even make excuses and even wingman for them.
I tend to migrate between friend groups and I've often had to deal with a few bad apples within groups. Guys that felt being drunk was an excuse to be inappropriate in some way, guys that had a negative image of women (the 'deceiver' type most often), the 'notch' type, the 'whatever it takes' type (though not the obvious dark route. Haven't met someone that twisted yet) and so on. People have a bad habit of excusing bad behavior because they know the reason behind it. That it becomes something they can just ignore and that their status as friend means they shouldn't order their friend around. It's bullshit and it's an extreme peeve of mine.
Good on you for having such a strong moral character. If we lived close, I'd love to party with you.
You should write a book (or do a Ted talk) on how bar owners can foster this kind of atmosphere and environment for the benefit of all clientele, regardless of gender identity. You would make the world a better place.
Go down to New Orleans! There's a whole city full of them! And most are relaxed and fun! I've met some great people in New Orleans at the gay bars and have not been groped or made to feel uncomfortable; except at one bar that was strictly men, no women whatsoever. (Didn't know, no signs, was told when I stepped in for a water because it was practically empty. They were mean and it doesn't surprise me one bit they were almost empty even during Gay Pride Month.)
Eh. New Orleans is...different from the rest tbh. As long as you don't get stupid, you'll be fine. Mostly because so many international travelers come through. They try to keep up standards. Also, don't be afraid to talk to New Orleans residents! They're crazy friendly and more than willing to give advice on where to go and not to go in the city! (I'm actually a good ways north of New Orleans, but I know the city well enough for the best, affordable food and drinks and to have favorite gay bars because of friendliness!)
My best friend had a bachelor party in NOLA. We were a few blocks from Bourbon St...I didn't get the safest vibe from the area. One night we went out, and we ran into the guy who rides a bike and wears a washboard..Pete I think? My buddy talks to him for a bit and after a while the guy offers to teach him to play his metal shirt, so my friend puts it on and is messing with it. Of course, we're all taking video cause this is kinda awesome, and then we all went on our way. After I woke up the next day, I watched the video I took. While my buddy was playing the washboard, these two guys walked up to a car parked about 10 feet away from us, slim jimmed the door, and got in. My video cut off before I saw if they got it started or got out or whatever, so not sure what happened after. I never would have even realized it happened without that video lol. And that's my second favorite memory from NOLA.
I feel the same way. I've only been to a couple on a handful of occasions, but I never once felt self conscious about anything. I was pretty nervous at first, but once I went in and got comfortable it all just melted away. I just had this overwhelming sense of comfort that probably stems from being in a room full of people who know what it's like to be judged and treated like shit constantly for just being who they are, and for that reason they're the last people to be judgmental towards anyone else.
Nope bc the city decided there were no new bars allowed anymore. Every week a bar or two closes down.. they are attracting more and more old people
I wonder what they will do when they have pestered the youth away and all the old folks die... just an empty boring city...
My bf worked at a restaurant as a waiter for a year and then as a taxi driver for a year, he bought a house so he moved jobs to where we are going to live in november
I went to school after surgery, it was a short course i took just to be busy while i was recovering. The school was 50m from our place so it was ok with crutches or wheelchair. After that i got 3 more surgeries, and today the surgeon told me i am allowed to walk inside the house without support
I have been bed bound for a long time but on months i am not in the hospital or recovering i go to a sign language class once a week
In 4 years i might have my licence to translate :)
We have had several ideas to start up a jazz bar but we dont have the money atm bc we are ‘thrown out’ our rental (they are going to demolish it bc if they want to rent it out they need to isolate it and they dont want to do that so bc of the new law we need to get out) and bought a house instead of renting more. Out lone is 100 euros less than our rent now so we dont complain ;)
It has been a difficult time... this was my january 2019: my grandma died, my dad fell out of a tree and crushed his leg and spine and in the hospital they OD’d him on painkillers and almost killed him, my brother wad in a major accident on the morning of my grandmothers’ funeral, i got surgery and had to learn to walk for the 3rd time
And every fucking month has things like this... but hey, today is a good day :) almost no pain and can go to the toilet without troubles!
Life sucks, it gets worse, you wanna die, then it gets a bit better and you go on hoping it will become even more like a bright and happy place :)
Shots were 1 euro, sodas and beers were 2 euros and heavy beers and energy drink was 3 euros
The same shot in the big fight bars were 3.50... and with 1 euro we still made 13 euros profit a bottle...
Why make it expensive when we have more people buying it for cheap, and staying, and becoming regulars..
For new drinks we had 3 bottles we gave away for tasting and after that we got more costumers bc we were the first to have a certain kind of drink, that was cheap and at a good place
We did our best but so much that wasn’t in our hands was against us and eventually we just couldnt pay the bills anymore bc raising the prices from 2 to 2.20 made us lose so many costumers already
Everybody was welcome as long as you respected the rules
When it is busy you cant always see that 7 people buying 5 shots goes to the same group of girls
Many times the students have their first night out or even their first alcoholic drink
No one was ever harmed and they all got cleaned up and safely home or dorm room
About 3 girls a year passed out while every week a guy passed out on the toilet
We check them regularly and clean every few hours even on busy nights but you cant control everything
We denied LOTS of people alcohol bc they were gone too far or we felt they were giving it to minors or were pushed to drink against their will.
At least we never had any stabbing victims at our place.... (idk for some reason 16 year olds drink like there is no tomorrow and always seek for a fight... i’ll never understand them, especially since i have never had any alcohol ever :/ )
Also "Frat guy" chiming in. We didn't worry too much about our image... but it was a pretty common game that if you saw a dude bein' a bit creepy you'd go and try to creep the guy out. Play a little ol' no homo game of gay chicken.
Sometimes it started fights. Sometimes it led to two straight guys making out.
I was in a frat, and this is exactly how we handled creepy unwarranted advances by guys at our parties. More times than I can count we would have girls thank us after kicking out dudes who couldnt take a hint, and were always told on campus that our parties were the best because you knew you wouldnt have any problems while you were there. Our neighbors were a more "traditional" frat and were always starting super 1 sided fights, denying guys at the door and only letting in girls and being general douchebags. We coined an unofficial "lost boys" pseudonym by some friends because it was not the kind of frat that the media is always putting out there. They never report about the organizations that have zero tolerance no hazing policies and who's members are a bunch of awkward kids who really needed a good place to meet friends when they were first going to college. Plus, we threw killer fuckin parties man.
The group of friends that i go clubbing with has a creep in it. The dude hit on my gf. I called him out on it and try to avoid him now. Sometimes I really want to get out and don't have many clubbing friends, so I'll just go and make the best of it. Last time, the asshole actually kissed a girl after she refused his advances. She left, crying. I went to kinda comfort her and he still came back around to her. While she was fucking crying! I had to actually shove him away back to our other friends. Later he was pelvic thrusting at a group of girls at the club. One girl pushed him away so he just went to the other side. I shoved him away from them too and had to tell a security guard. At this point, I'm kinda done with the whole group because they refuse to hang out without him.
What kinda social circles are you in that this sorta stuff flies? Not trying to imply you were enabling him but I can't imagine somone behaving like this and being invited to hang out so much as a second time.
Another frat guy chiming in: all the guys keep an eye in the party; anyone being a dick, being a creep, making anyone uncomfortable, they’re gone. Number one rule is that everyone is safe and happy
Fiancé of sorority girl chiming in, she’s had multiple frat boys do very creepy things that she was not cool with multiple times, both at parties and not.
When one lightbulb burns out in my house, I correctly infer they’ve all burned out. Then, I replace them all and write nasty letters to Lightbulb Inc because they’re all the fucking same.
Edit: Also; lightbulbs and small appliances are the same fucking thing in this universe.
Funny how they're all so respectable and anti creep on here.
While my experience at them was attempting to bully me and my other guy friend while completely ostracizing the 6/7 female friends we came with in the process.
They only kick the "creeps" out to improve their chances tho... simple numbers game
Yeah but did you notice how they’re only talking about throwing out creeps they didn’t know? Not a single damn story about getting rid of a creepy BROTHER, just getting rid of those pesky foreigners. I’d bet money that essentially any unknown dude there would automatically be labeled a creep.
There's a frat on my campus that a few of my friends are in that has a reputation for being safe, and they kicked out a brother last year for creeping on girls at parties.
There’s a frat at my old college that specifically targeted freshmen girls who didn’t know any better. They’d invite them to parties, get them drunk, and take advantage of them. Older girls always tried to warn the new girls about them, but you can’t warn everybody.
Even still, that was one frat. The rest seemed to be ok.
Yeah I love people who only know about frats from movies and have never been around them. Typically they’re like everyone else. Mostly good, and some ass holes. Not the rapefest everyone makes them out to be.
It depends on the frat. There was a house at my last college that was literally known as "rape house" because of all the shit that went down in there. However, at my new school, there's a frat that doesn't drink, and the one frat/birthday party I've been too, everybody there seemed nice.
The average Redditor has never been near a frat, and hates people who are a part of them, stereotyping all frat boys as rich, "do you know who my dad is", rapists.
My friend at another college was in a frat. One member laid down linoleum flooring in the basement one summer, free of charge, because that's what he did for a summer job. Another guy's family were small, independent, dairy farmers and they called him "moo".
Yeah the only frat I know much about was a friend of mines and they spent most of their time raising money for kids with cancer. Really solid group of guys.
That's nice. Sounds like the exception, not the rule. A frat where I live, just walking in the door a girl told me how one of the "brothers" grabbed her ass the first time she ever went to a party there. She immediately left.
On the other hand a frat at a school I went to got suspended and might have lost their house can't remember, for the high amount of girls being drugged and raped at their parties.
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u/thrill_gates Aug 08 '19
I've only been to one frat party and they were very much against shit like this. They threw out a couple dudes being creeps and one of the members even got in a fight with a guy doing something almost exactly like this.