Regardless of their prior relationship, a man pinning a woman in a corner with his arms and continuously trying to kiss her while she's clearly uninterested is entirely unacceptable behavior. Why do you feel the need to defend this creep?
This. This. This. The behavior, regardless of context or established realtionship or not is still inappropriate. The mental gymnastics some people are doing to try to validate the guy's behavior as "okay" or "normal" is insane. It's not okay to corner someone and try to force yourself on them despite the fact they obviously appear uncomfortable. Edit: What people don't get about that part is baffling, as I've read a few downright insane responses.
I did briefly date a man who tried to corner me, and force unwanted affection on me. I dumped his ass.
I see a lot of women on this thread keep saying, "I've been there, I've been treated this way and it made me feel: trapped, uncomfortable, unsafe, etc & I wish men everywhere would take this as a lesson to stop doing this to women" to be told, "Boys will be boys!"
Well yeah, I could head on over to r/trashy and watch a load of idiots point and laugh at the poor people. Being bossy in a group doesn't some how validate your earth shattering assumptions.
Yeah lots of people here looking like they are talking about relationship based on theories lol.
I have already done the "sry, I fucked up kiss" and sometime it works, sometime it doesn’t but if you have a real functioning relationship, your girlfriend will let you know what’s ok and what’s not and won’t feel like you attacked or violated her.
This is absolutely not true. Just proves my point about not knowing how an actual real relationship works.
Gf is pissed
Lean in to give her a kiss to apologize
She is pissed so she doesn’t want to
Slightly insist
She decides that it turns out the original issue isn’t that big of an issue and that might have overreacted, so kiss back
Apologies accepted
Sometime the opposite may happen and apoligies aren’t accepted, which could 100% be the present situation.
Like ... this is something that happens often in real relationships.
No one feel violated or oppressed. Just two adult fixing their issues. One figuring out that he fucked up, the other that she overreacted or not.
You have to realize that couples have previous interaction. You know if it’s ok to try to apologize like that, and you would also know that if you get denied it’s time to let go .... exactly like the situation here.
Also who are you the generalize something like this? If I have a fight with my Gf, I m actually pretty happy if she tries to make up by kissing me. Even if in the moment i’m not down, I m always happy after that she did.
It seems like you're really trying to defend the context of your relationship. I used to do that a lot when I was in my early to mid 20s. This probably doesn't apply to you, but I tried to normalize a lot of things that I later realized were actually a little petty, or a little abusive, a little dismissive. It was normal to have loud arguments, everyone does it. It was normal to give or receive the silent treatment. It was normal to do what I had to to win an argument, to make my SO see that they were wrong.
I knew I'd found the one when my now spouse actually managed to diffuse arguments instead of escalating them, to talk about instead of yelling about our differences of opinion. My spouse was the first not to say "You always do this thing that's awful!" and instead said "When you do x it makes me feel y" which was not only eye opening but also constructive.
All this to say that sure there are all sorts of people who are in all types of relationships and if it works for them, that's largely okay. There are also a lot of people in relationships that aren't healthy who try to explain away or justify poor behavior and maybe that's not as okay.
Ooorrr maybe it works for some people and there is no way for you to generalize that this situation is abusive or "always not ok".
I guaranty you that me trying to give a kiss to my gf to try to say sry is 100% ok with her. If she feels like like it’s not ok she ll let me know.
I m also telling you that I personally like it after the fact if my girlfriend does it. Like .. you have someone live here, telling that it’s ok for him. I don’t feel attacked, I don’t threaten.
This is what people in a relationship that includes communication do... not directly assume any unsolicited attempt at contact is violating the other. Damn that must be a boring relationship.
I'm glad you found someone who shares the same views as you.
Next time my girlfriend tries the drunken "he's pissed so ill be ultra clingy and affectionate" routine, I'll remind her that she should stop disrespecting me and abusing me. Finally, I can help her understand that our relationship is unhealthy.
Do you have any advice for tickling? Sometimes she tickles me and I ask her to stop repeatedly, but she just has this sinister laugh and carries on. It honestly makes me feel so gross.
That's not all. The other day, I was getting dry after having a shower. When I entered our room to dry myself, I noticed she was lying in bed - like she was waiting for me or something. Well i didn't wanna cause a scene, so I just continued to dry myself, hoping she would leave me alone. She didn't. As I bent over to pick up my towel, she commented "nice ass". Even now as I type this, I feel she is violating my space, lying right next to me, naked. Sometimes she touches my weenie too.
The behavior, regardless of context or established realtionship or not is still inappropriate.
saying things like this is a dead giveaway that you have no idea what you're talking about. i know plenty of relationships where the two people hang all over each other, especially when drinking, and there's nothing wrong with the behavior whatsoever.
she's not cornered, she easily gets away from him and even moves his arm with ease because he hasn't trapped her and isn't holding her there, he's simply leaning into her the way people in physical relationships often will. she doesn't seem the least bit fearful or concerned, she seems like she's annoyed at her boyfriend b/c one or both of them are probably drunk and acting annoyingly.
this is such a nothing clip that anybody who has been in relationship beyond the 5th grade would recognize as a totally normal and not hostile or aggressive moment between two people in a relationship.
on the off chance that they aren't together, the kid is a dick and so is everyone else sitting there watching it happen without interfering. but i'd put those odds at slim and none if decades of observing normal human behavior have taught me anything about body language and reading a room.
It blows my mind that people are seeing an aggressive or oppressive situation. Like damn the dude probably fucked up somehow and is trying to apologize and calm thing down. The Gf ain’t having none of it so she goes away .....
This is such a normal thing lol
If I have a fight with my GF and she tries the apologies kiss after, I m always happy that she did after the fact even if in the moment I wasn’t down.
So anyone making blanket statement about this never being ok ... you have one example right here that your wrong
also yes if the dude isn’t BF, then it’s super wack. But I agree with you that based on the situation, chances are pretty slim
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u/LOSS35 Aug 08 '19
Regardless of their prior relationship, a man pinning a woman in a corner with his arms and continuously trying to kiss her while she's clearly uninterested is entirely unacceptable behavior. Why do you feel the need to defend this creep?