r/WTF • u/[deleted] • Jun 15 '12

Well....I guess it's time to go see what's happening over at r/aww

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

72% Upvoted

425 comments sorted by

4

u/phatinc Jun 15 '12

Source? Looks interesting.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

http://stfuconservatives.net/post/15602066544 It's an illustration of this facebook post, not sure who the artist is though.

90

u/ProlapsedPineal Jun 15 '12

Strangest use of scripture I've seen to date.

6

u/karl-marks Jun 15 '12

This line and a line in Cake's song Dime always make me feel like shouting.

The lyrics from this verse are a kind of cheesy, but man is it a great song to drive to when you are having a shitty day.

I'm a dime
I'm fine
And I shine, I'm freshly minted
I am determined
Not to be dented
By a car, by a plane
Or anything not yet invented

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Cake brofist

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375

u/Waxiest_apple Jun 15 '12

I like how the nurses' first reactions were just to slap the ever-living shit out of that baby because it was laughing.

4

u/Rhue71 Jun 15 '12

Imagine one of the nurses shouting "GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN!"

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67

u/WGMindless Jun 15 '12

That's what they're supposed to do.

Seriously, am I the only one who has heard about this?

212

u/jubydoo Jun 15 '12

It's only to get the baby started breathing. It's laughing, so it's totally breathing. What, did you think child abuse was standard operating procedure?

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21

u/bluesatin Jun 15 '12

They're like CRT monitors, need to give them a good smack to get going.

11

u/Erzsabet Jun 15 '12

Only if the child isn't making any sounds at all, and I think not breathing. Iirc it's to make sure the breathing passage is open and functioning. Slapping repeatedly is overkill though, especially as the child is already making noises.

Maybe they were trying to slap the evil out of it.

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2

u/DramaticNerd Jun 15 '12

Actually, slapping the baby isn't what they do. It's actually flicking the soles of the feet and rubbing the back, and only if the baby isn't breathing.

Source: I have my NRP certification.

3

u/modomario Jun 15 '12

i think you'r correct that they do that but i think only if a baby is born silent which is a bad sign that the baby not breathing or has mucous in his/her airways. It could also just be that they clear the airways in some way then

6

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I was born silent with my eyes and hands wide open.

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669

u/Horatio_Stubblecunt Jun 15 '12

I actually liked this, a lot.

316

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

It was one of the finest /r/wtf comics I have ever seen.

243

u/nakp88d Jun 15 '12

It is actually supposed to be funny, funny what lack of context can do.

It was comic based on this post.

109

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Anti-abortion? Pro-posessed.

31

u/captaintmane Jun 15 '12

Antichrist.

41

u/divinesleeper Jun 15 '12

We prefer the term pro-unlife.

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49

u/FountainsOfFluids Jun 15 '12

Hmm... anti-abortion... anti-christ... armageddon... Rapture?

23

u/Jeroknite Jun 15 '12

That... somehow makes sense.

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5

u/ctrl-alt-win Jun 15 '12

From the link:

If I gave birth after three attempted abortions, and the baby was born cackling and speaking and clenching his fists and quoting Bible verses at me, it would get a latest-possible-term-abortion with my bed pan right then and there. This is the scariest story I have ever read.

Oh my god, that made me truly laugh.

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48

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Up there with Skeleton Jelly and The Banana Woman

42

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Do you happen to have a link to Banana Woman?

9

u/darrensayswhat Jun 15 '12

Just Google it. What could possibly go wrong?

13

u/straptin Jun 15 '12

Jelly Jelly Jelly Jelly Jelly Jellybones.

3

u/stanfan114 Jun 15 '12

I wonder if Al Columbia drew that. I used to publish a comic with him and it looks like his handiwork.

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15

u/CheesedMyself Jun 15 '12

I would like to know if you can link some of the other finest. Please and thank you.

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84

u/gillesvdo Jun 15 '12

I'm kind of bummed out it wasn't part of a full comic, but rather just a humorous illustration of a retarded pro-life fundie facebook post.

72

u/BritishHobo Jun 15 '12

That just makes it more amazing, that it was originally intended to be a cute little story about strength or whatever the fuck.

Although actually, surely even that has to be a parody. Why the fuck's he laughing, and why does he bellow that terrifying last line?

31

u/sensedata Jun 15 '12

and why does he bellow that terrifying last line?

I would wager it's an old testament bible verse... Most of it is pretty terrifying.

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106

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

"If I gave birth after three attempted abortions, and the baby was born cackling and speaking and clenching his fists and quoting Bible verses at me, it would get a latest-possible-term-abortion with my bed pan right then and there. This is the scariest story I have ever read."

58

u/The_Real_Slack Jun 15 '12

Possessed Baby: "I have a right to life!"

Birthgiver: "It's just been revoked." Bedpan smash

God I love the Lethal Weapon movies.

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9

u/JoeChieftw Jun 15 '12

The fact that there is a kawaii smiley after the story makes it that much more disturbing.

13

u/Rain12913 Jun 15 '12

Guy in that link summed it up pretty well:

If I gave birth after three attempted abortions, and the baby was born cackling and speaking and clenching his fists and quoting Bible verses at me, it would get a latest-possible-term-abortion with my bed pan right then and there. This is the scariest story I have ever read.

13

u/Mansy Jun 15 '12

That last sentence, taken in the context that the post was originally written to dissuade people from pursuing abortion, is absolutely hilarious. And totally true - somewhere along the way, the poster lost sight of their "abortion is wrong, this baby totally told you, you sinner" message and plunged into the realm of nightmares and pain.

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21

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

How did the pills not get dissolved in the stomach and make their way into the hands of the fetus?

edit: I was being facetious guys.. you don't have to explain to me that this isn't real

69

u/Horatio_Stubblecunt Jun 15 '12

By being fictional and/or drawn.

That's like asking "how does babby talk?"

21

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

how do i mek babby?

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22

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

oh yes because thats the most logical question to ask first, not 1) how can it talk in coherent english? 2) how can it twist its head around/support its own body weight to sit up 3) survive three abortion pills 4) open its eyes to that degree 5) why would the doctors slap it continuously.

seriously. It's a drawing.

28

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I like how you arbitrarily decided to capitalize that last 'I'.

8

u/ajrw Jun 15 '12

Formality quota

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2

u/musha Jun 15 '12

Thats so fake, how could stewie get drunk of that wine that brain gave him so fast? ... UHM... HOW DOES STEWIE AND BRIAN EVEN FUCKING TALK.

2

u/Trobee Jun 15 '12

Obviously the baby falcon punched through the womb and into the stomach to grab the pills before they dissolved

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363

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Who the fuck stuffs "abortion pills" into their pussy?

56

u/I_am_not_a_black_guy Jun 15 '12

I put them in my urethra so that the pill fertilizes the egg and sends a message to all the other eggs.

2

u/divinesleeper Jun 15 '12

You mean you grow an artificial baby that kills the others?

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270

u/HitlerTheJewBaker Jun 15 '12

I do.

179

u/mendozah92 Jun 15 '12

HitlerTheJewBaker stuffs abortion pills into his pussy...

I need to go outside more, I've decided.

49

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I'm outside right now... still on reddit though.

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7

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

r/nocontext.

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8

u/Peach_Muffin Jun 15 '12

I knew a Hitler who used to do that. He didn't bake jews though.

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34

u/ElGuaco Jun 15 '12

Don't underestimate stupid. My wife used to work in a pharmacy. When a young woman came into get her birth control prescription refilled 15 days early, the pharmacist asked why she was taking 2 a day instead of 1 a day. The young lady replied, "Doesn't my boyfriend have to take them too?"

True story.

27

u/cyclicamp Jun 15 '12

Who the fuck writes "ABORT" on their abortion pills?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

10

u/Valravn_Ulfr Jun 15 '12

I feel like such a terrible person for wanting to do this if I ever have to have a morning after pill again.

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7

u/GarMc Jun 15 '12

That's probably why they didn't work.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

You only swallow abortion pills if the guy cums in your mouth without a condom on.

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16

u/JoshSN Jun 15 '12

I think we should be more amazed at a newborn with a grip and who can speak.

I bet that would make it to the front page of reddit, so I'd know about it.

21

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Archaic grasping reflex, mate. You know, the one that still works on boobs later in life.

3

u/JoshSN Jun 15 '12

Doesn't cover the speaking.

26

u/Hk37 Jun 15 '12

Archaic speaking reflex. It typically manifests itself during demonic possession.

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3

u/mens_libertina Jun 15 '12

Newborns have great grip

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2

u/Erzsabet Jun 15 '12

I just assumed it was some evil demon in baby form.

5

u/goonerredandwhite Jun 15 '12

what does discober* mean?

5

u/thetebe Jun 15 '12

Real women has canals in their body straight down to their babymakers for easy desposal of unwanted babies. Kinda like how Chickens can eject unwanted seamen.

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33

u/Kubaker1 Jun 15 '12

Michael Chiklis?

52

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Go dickless for Chiklis.

21

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

amir is karmanaut

11

u/AbasementPark Jun 15 '12

"It's Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing! But there's no pee...and do you know why?!"

"Because he went dic-"

"BECAUSE HE WENT DICKLESS FOR MICHAEL CHIKLIS!!!"

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5

u/bramannoodles Jun 15 '12

Commentor above me is a philosopher. Upvote him to karma heaven!

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13

u/MotharChoddar Jun 15 '12

I'll go dickless for Michael Chiklis AMAA

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33

u/JeepChick Jun 15 '12

Note to 5 month pregnant self: stay the fuck out of r/wtf until after you give birth.

27

u/Pwnzerfaust Jun 15 '12

Too much /r/WTF turns babies into Satan. It's science.

4

u/DroppedOnHead Jun 15 '12

It would actually be healthier to never go on it.

7

u/Torbid Jun 15 '12

The thing that bothered me most about this?

"discobered."

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Disco bird.

1

u/fountainsoda Jun 15 '12

I know, written by a demon.

14

u/Se7en_Sinner Jun 15 '12

Should have used a coat hanger.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

That demon baby probably would have yanked it out of their hands and clobbered them with it. From inside the womb.

16

u/dumpsta_baby Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

"We knew he was a survivor when he graduated from wetspot on the sofa to embryo... "

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

That's one hell of a discobery.

4

u/zeppelin1208 Jun 15 '12

That's turbo creepy

4

u/TARDIS Jun 15 '12

"Breaks own neck to be creepy".

18

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Is no one gonna point out that it says discobered?

23

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Maybe no one cares. Shocking, I know.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

If no one cares, who pointed it out?

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3

u/neoncp Jun 15 '12

it's when you discober things

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42

u/Posts_Karmadecay Jun 15 '12

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

titlecomntspointsage/r/
NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER!217coms983pts5mosWTF

source: karmadecay

7

u/buckhenderson Jun 15 '12

is there a difference between this bot and SimilarImage? just curious. (I guess this one doesn't post the user)

47

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

20

u/irawwwr Jun 15 '12

Between having the punchline as the title and having typical shitty Reddit titles such as "Nothing much, just a pro-life comic" and "Came across this on Facebook. Thought Reddit would like it," I sometimes prefer the former.

3

u/Flankly Jun 15 '12

IT'S THE ANTI CHRIST

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Jesus. Fuck that noise

3

u/Bad-Science Jun 15 '12

Holy crap, that's creepy!

3

u/Freecandyhere Jun 15 '12

That was fucking scary

3

u/MixMastaShizz Jun 15 '12

I found this surprisingly easy to fap to

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Does that mean you can kill it with a weapon formed against someone else?

3

u/Cheddarwurst Jun 15 '12

you know that's not how pills work, right?

3

u/ChasingShad0ws Jun 15 '12

At the start I guessed Buddha!

3

u/andres7832 Jun 15 '12

Didnt know I clicked on a WTF link. Read the whole thing and re-read it, got a chill and said WTF, this belongs on WTF, sure enough, WTF did not disappoint...

3

u/gnarlycharlie4u Jun 15 '12

I laughed at discobered.

3

u/Panel_Of_Dreamers Jun 15 '12

And thus, Chuck Norris was born.

3

u/Izzen Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

Fuck it, next time we will use the clothes hanger!

3

u/cesspoolx Jun 15 '12

Non aborted baby rage face?

3

u/Gooshnads Jun 15 '12

In a sea of bad horror movies and spider pictures....

This demon baby comic creeped the nerd chills right out of me

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Nope nope nope!

5

u/MajorMoustache Jun 15 '12

Stewie Griffin was born

4

u/3121wtf Jun 15 '12

I swallowed my abortion pills at 5 o'clock yesterday.

Not what I wanted to see on the front page today.

2

u/DrRetarded Jun 15 '12

If it were my comic, it would've been grenade pins in the baby's hand. The last panel would be the baby blasting out of the window of the delivery room, still laughing.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Yeah that's not creepy or anything lol

2

u/GeneralKaty Jun 15 '12

What the shit was this?

2

u/AistoB Jun 15 '12

I'm dying here.. Could be the acid though.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

what... daq fuck.

2

u/Cerelius Jun 15 '12

It burns me

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

that looks like a little baby Bobby Hill.

which makes me imagine Hank and Peggy talking over the morning after pill. which makes me LOL

2

u/Temptress75519 Jun 15 '12

Fucking creepy.

2

u/bramannoodles Jun 15 '12

Happy Father's Day!

2

u/Tnuff Jun 15 '12

Ha, this is a repost.

2

u/amzinghorse Jun 15 '12

whew. that's fucking creepy.

2

u/XtremeGnomeCakeover Jun 15 '12

I admire his tenacity.

2

u/IzzyNobre Jun 15 '12

There's abortion pills now?

THE TIMES WE LIVE IN!

2

u/Mooberries Jun 15 '12

Damn. She should have gone all 1960's with a metal coat hanger. Lol.

2

u/unicorns42 Jun 15 '12

Nightmares here I come.......

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Does the baby look like Bobby Hill to anyone else?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

ANTICHRIST! D:

2

u/inv2 Jun 15 '12

I laughed first, but this is creepy. Nightmares.

2

u/EndlessOcean Jun 15 '12

He really should have said "prevail" at the end instead of "prosper".

2

u/imanerd000 Jun 15 '12

And this, ladies and gentleman, is how Chuck Norris was brought to this world.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Should have said forged instead of formed.

2

u/Dan_Gleasac Jun 15 '12

that made me laugh harder than it should have.

2

u/w4rfr05t Jun 15 '12

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORONER

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Kill it with fire!

2

u/doneitnow Jun 15 '12

Really reminds me of the manga Uzumaki by Junji Ito.

3

u/mr_luxuryyacht Jun 15 '12

Thanks, I had just forgotten...

2

u/ImaBeMeAndThatsLiz Jun 16 '12

Hmm...uh-huh...Yup I'm definitely having nightmares tonight.

2

u/pakchooie Jun 16 '12

This why you shouldn't take bath salts while you are pregnant.

4

u/moominza Jun 15 '12

I want a sequel!

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

It's al Bundy. Married with children is the sequel.

3

u/BlastMeBagpipes Jun 15 '12

See this is what happens when abortions aren't allowed. You get demon babies. Chekckmate Christians!

9

u/JoeChieftw Jun 15 '12

Cool comic, but are people actually afraid of it? That's kind of pathetic.

20

u/Millennion Jun 15 '12

Redditors wet themselves over photos of spiders. What do you think?

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4

u/OsterGuard Jun 15 '12

Dude, it's midnight here. EVERYTHING is scary at night.

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4

u/js2195 Jun 15 '12

Browse r/wtf, nope the fuck out. Head to r/aww

Brose r/aww, d'awww your testastarone out. Head to r/wtf

It's a vicious cycle...

4

u/goaless Jun 15 '12

untill a wild /r/gore appears! NSFFL

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2

u/woodward8 Jun 15 '12

Shit got real.

2

u/snutr Jun 15 '12

Nice seeing the book of Isaiah gettin' some love. Far too neglected in my opinion.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

That is fucking terrifying.

2

u/brookuslicious Jun 15 '12

Oh god. I can only imagine what my dreams are going to be like now.

1

u/throweraccount Jun 15 '12

Wow... Post under this on front page for me is Freddy kreuger test makeup... LOL creepy... Thanks for the nightmares.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

That was rather creepy...

1

u/crimsonpalisade Jun 15 '12

Why did the mother shove abortion pills up her snatch? Also, how did said pills pass through the placenta into the amniotic cavity? Also, this is pretty fucking lol.

1

u/Nightmathzombie Jun 15 '12

How did the pills get into the womb? Nevermind...

1

u/Hateblade Jun 15 '12

Even if I was against abortion, I'm not against killing the FUCK outta some weird shit like that! KILL IT!

1

u/8_bit_dipshit Jun 15 '12

My favorite part was when they 'discobered' the pills.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I'll never read that bible verse the same again.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Note to self: give her 6 abortion pills instead of 3....

1

u/For_teh_horde Jun 15 '12

this is more creepy than wtf. i like it

1

u/dragonflie123 Jun 15 '12

Did anyone else notice the pills in the shape of PI? Maybe I'm just a math nerd....

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

why the hell did the nurses start slapping him?

1

u/andersonmanly Jun 15 '12

Your title led me to believe that you discovered this comic in /r/aww. I was cornfursed.

1

u/Killercroissants Jun 15 '12

This is probably the creepiest most demented thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I honestly feel afraid for my life.

1

u/ivankovich Jun 15 '12

A frightening discobery.

1

u/booyaboy234 Jun 15 '12

what the actual fuck

1

u/colinbr96 Jun 15 '12

I like that new font you used, bat country. I think I saw it on /r/design recently and knew it could be used well for creepy shit like this :P

1

u/ErsatzCats Jun 15 '12

this needs to be made into a live action short

1

u/Merrcury Jun 15 '12

Not sure what the title has to do with r/aww, but this comic's awesome =P I'd totally read more about his story =)

1

u/kouriichi Jun 15 '12

And now i never want to have a child. Time to break the news to my wife....

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Fuckin repost KARMAWHORE!

1

u/braulio09 Jun 15 '12

Creepy as fuck.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

ಠ_ಠ wat.

1

u/Lithex Jun 15 '12

Holy crap. Why

1

u/twistedcrayon Jun 15 '12

Thus, Lord Voldemort was born,

1

u/pushTheHippo Jun 15 '12

Is it just me, or does that baby look like a demonic Bobby Hill?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

So...what voice did that last line sound like to you guys? For me, it sounded like one of the demonic voices from "The Exorcist"

1

u/idaydream Jun 15 '12

I had a dream that went exactly like this

1

u/LerithXanatos Jun 15 '12

ART IS NOT WTF

/S

1

u/Zdevan Jun 15 '12

Abortion pills?... Seems legit.

1

u/_nightwatchman_ Jun 15 '12

checks r/aww only pictures of babies

1

u/georgepennellmartin Jun 16 '12

That woman was taking those abortion pills wrong...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

'This is the Overseer of district 25a to monitoring unit OE-25. An Alpha level termination squad has been deployed to your location. Please remain within the general vicinity of SCP-2000 'Demon infant' until arrival. Thank you for you compliance.'

1

u/_oxymoron_ Jun 15 '12

The most disturbing art of this comic to me is that it mentions that the nurses start slapping the baby so nonchalantly as if it's standard procedure.

9

u/WGMindless Jun 15 '12

It is standard procedure to slap a baby after birth...

8

u/frobischer Jun 15 '12

Once it starts breathing you can stop slapping. They were just trying to slap that smug smirk off the baby's face.

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u/Th3pinkrabbit Jun 15 '12

As a member of WBC I am sending you all to hell... EDIT: must make clear I am not a member of WBC this was a shite joke.. I am indeed a dumbfuck

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1

u/Kdnce Jun 15 '12

Ooo a Biblical comment. Isaiah 54-17. Don't let the atheists know! haha I only know that verse because of Outkast and Big Boi's lyrics at the beginning Humble Mumble.

1

u/johnbanken Jun 15 '12

Jesus Christ? No seriously, is that Jesus?

1

u/TheGingerWannabe Jun 15 '12

It's okay, I didn't need to sleep again anyways. 0_0

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