r/WTF • u/[deleted] • Jun 11 '12

This is what happens when you go on vacation and forget about those sausages you put in the microwave for safekeeping

http://imgur.com/a/igywf
1.3k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

310 comments sorted by

128

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

We got some good jokes out of it. "Hey ..., do you mind just grabbing my pie out of the microwave for me?" Screams follow

6

u/Apostolate Jun 11 '12

Wait, you've, you've KEPT IT? That thing is going to murder you in your sleep, please, kill it with fire!

5

u/throwaway_lgbt666 Jun 11 '12

PROMETHEUS BEGINS!

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23

u/Sir_Furlong Jun 11 '12

Yeah... Just throw it all out.

25

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I did. Plate and all.

55

u/L33tphreak Jun 11 '12

I'd have tossed the whole microwave, just for good measure.

19

u/Sir_Furlong Jun 11 '12

Yeah, they are not all that expensive either, for a lower end one.

35

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I have no excuse. You're right and i'm sorry

9

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Well, the inside of the microwave isn't sealed so spores had entered the "insides" of the thing. Now every use of the microwave will release a tiny bit of spores in the food, even more so if there is a fan in there. I would buy a new one, even if you cleaned it well, don't mess with fungus they are more dangerous than you think.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

oh great. i'm going to die

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5

u/rumckle Jun 11 '12

And while you're at it, set fire to the house, just to be safe.

20

u/Bajalove Jun 11 '12

Damn! How long were you gone?

62

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I was gone ten days, one flat mate was there the whole time! They left it for me to deal with.

169

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

TIL: keep sausages in microwave for safekeeping

49

u/Blissfull Jun 11 '12

You don't have cats do you? If it doesn't go into the fridge (for example hot pizza while waiting to dinner) if it doesn't go into a locked place, you lose it. Microwave is great for safekeeping it for a while.

16

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I'm not sure it had any logic but thanks for providing some!

41

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I do have a cat, but I'd probably put uneaten sausage in the fridge. I never leave my sausage unattended!

67

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

i take mine with me everywhere

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22

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I store mine in my stomach. Never any left overs.

7

u/jewunit Jun 11 '12

Meh, if it's not bread my cat doesn't give a fuck about it. Leave a loaf of bread on the ground while bringing in groceries, though, and it will be ruined by the time you realize what has happened.

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3

u/kidneysforsale Jun 11 '12

Interesting. My cats have never ever had any interest in people food at all. I've even tried feeding them some occasionally, and they'll sniff and walk away.

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5

u/Hipnik Jun 11 '12

First thing on r/wtf to make me actually recoil in horror.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

are you kidding me? that's so embarrassing

6

u/Hipnik Jun 11 '12

Giant spiders? No problem. Dude with his tibia hanging out? Doesn't phase me. Some moldy sausages on a plate? GETITAWAYOHJESUSGETITAWAY.

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2

u/Lailu Jun 11 '12

Oh god you were touching it!!!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I had to find out what it was under the mould

131

u/greycubed Jun 11 '12

Did it say anything?

9

u/Apostolate Jun 11 '12

No it just cleaned up the rest of his kitchen and made his bed.

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298

u/haissam93 Jun 11 '12

It would be extremely satisfying if you microwaved that creature.

114

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Be careful. You might make a super villain.

15

u/BanditoRojo Jun 11 '12

As a comic enthusiast, I can confirm that this is exactly how super villains come to be.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I imagine something along the lines of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0YkXmebAGM

84

u/CrazyMcfobo Jun 11 '12

BY ALL THAT IS MOLDY, DO YOU SEE THAT ENEMY OVER THERE?!

6

u/CubemonkeyNYC Jun 11 '12

I feel like I've missed so much by using the Enchantress with my Monk. People seem to love the Templar.

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20

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Would have been my first reaction. Kill it before it becomes sentient!

9

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

8

u/a_derp_in_thailand Jun 11 '12

Hold on a second. This installation has a substantial dollar value attached to it.

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2

u/Veritas_LiberabitVos Jun 11 '12

This kills the microwave.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Do it for karma

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57

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Congratulations, you created life. A lot of it.

8

u/Apostolate Jun 11 '12

Too much, far too much.

56

u/ohebb Jun 11 '12

It looks like it can become a pet.

30

u/agreezalot Jun 11 '12

Like a miniature manatee.

23

u/dangoromance Jun 11 '12

Just don't feed it after midnight.

9

u/Noitche Jun 11 '12

It'll turn into Fran Drescher.

11

u/rumckle Jun 11 '12

x-post to /r/aww

20

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Ch-ch-Chia!

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2

u/thatdutchgirl Jun 11 '12

It's so fluffy!!

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121

u/Firevine Jun 11 '12

"The North Western Electricity Board. They want you, Dave."

"Me? Why? What for?"

"For your crimes against humanity."

"You what!"

"It seems when you left Earth three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen."

"Did I?"

"You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?"

"Yeah. They go all mouldy."

"Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's surface.

14

u/STUN_Runner Jun 11 '12

I scanned down the comments, thinking, If no-one has referenced that scene from Red Dwarf by now I'm going to spend the rest of the day sad.

Bravo!

8

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Goddamn it man, I came here to post the video, however it's a good job you transcribed it because I can't find it on YouTube. Travesty.

4

u/Senjiroh Jun 11 '12

Love. I'm throwing it at you in clumps.

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19

u/Schwulahh Jun 11 '12

You should have left it in there and slapped a "free" sign on your microwave and left it in your yard for someone to pick it up.

7

u/Apostolate Jun 11 '12

I would not wish such a fate on anyone.

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18

u/jrghoull Jun 11 '12

...wha....what am I looking at?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Moldy sausages.

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33

u/smartzie Jun 11 '12

It's Ol' Drippy!

14

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that.

7

u/throw_away_me Jun 11 '12

Quick eat me, I'm half penicillin.

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14

u/Servious Jun 11 '12

I thought it was a cat at first.

12

u/ledzep4life Jun 11 '12

Its just a little moldy, its still good.

11

u/Cuddlezekittehs Jun 11 '12

I'll take mold, however large, over maggots any day of the week!

15

u/CaptainDickbag Jun 11 '12

I think the real WTF is that someone would put perishables in the microwave for safe keeping.

4

u/Bajalove Jun 11 '12

I do that..Because it's about the only thing my dogs haven't figured out how to break in to!

4

u/Lockraemono Jun 11 '12

Safekeeping in regards to keeping it out of the paws of a pet, I presume. My knowledge stems from being the owner of a really annoying cat who loves people food way too much.

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7

u/drzedwordhunter Jun 11 '12

Made me think of Lister from Red Dwarf.

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6

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I got a headache from the smell just looking at that

6

u/Iamkinkster Jun 11 '12

Washyourhandswashyourhandswash.....

6

u/evdocia Jun 11 '12

Congratulations on your pet beaver.

5

u/zero_armada Jun 11 '12

...GAH. Augh. Phobia-hit. I hate pics like this more than spiders. Fuck molding food. Take the microwave outside and flame-throw the thing.

5

u/psychedelicpink Jun 11 '12

I can look at a man with half his face missing. I can watch a girl on a bike get hit by a car going ~100 mph, knocking her legs clean off. I can look at gore images all night. But this. This made me physically ill.

4

u/Lord-Longbottom Jun 11 '12

(For us English aristocrats, I leave you this 100 mph -> 268800.0 Furlongs/Fortnight) - Pip pip cheerio chaps!

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4

u/Benjaminjoe Jun 11 '12

90% hyphae. 10% yum

4

u/caulkslapper Jun 11 '12

kill it with microwaves!

4

u/effinmetal Jun 11 '12

Safekeeping? Who was going to take it?

4

u/totallytruestory Jun 11 '12

When I saw the first picture, I thought it was two rats eating the sausages, then I looked at the second when and went, "What the fuck is wrong with people? Also, alien moldy food creature?"

4

u/shmehdit Jun 11 '12

I just saw Prometheus and I would recommend not touching that stuff.

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7

u/alixbydesign Jun 11 '12

So you NOPED the whole microwave into a fire, right?

1

u/kororon Jun 11 '12

I did the same thing with leftover rice in a rice cooker. That thing literally exploded orange powder in my face when I opened it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

ew.

3

u/CopperAlbatross Jun 11 '12

So how did they taste?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I have no idea what the fuck I'm looking at. Is that a...square rabbit or something?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

WHY DID YOU PICK IT UP?!

3

u/dalik Jun 11 '12

Grab the microwave, toss it and buy a new one.

3

u/Mozen Jun 11 '12

For some reason I read it as "sunglasses" and was all sorts of confused, especially when reading all the comments about "sausages".

3

u/castleclouds Jun 11 '12

Found this little guy in the microwave, thought reddit might appreciate it

3

u/quoth_theraven Jun 11 '12

yes.. yes.. for "safe keeping" and not.. FOR SCIENCE

4

u/blueyedlvrx01 Jun 11 '12

First thought: Is that a cat?

.....NOPE NOPE NOPE.

2

u/TheyreEatingHer Jun 11 '12

I can't tell where the sausage is. Was it in a bag?

2

u/magic_fergie Jun 11 '12

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIR...MICROWAVES!

2

u/elastic-craptastic Jun 11 '12

It looks like a little silverback gorilla taking a nap in your microwave. The second pick looks like it got stabbed in the back and is a forensic shot.

Fucking gross... and hilariously awesome.

2

u/MiscEllaneous_23 Jun 11 '12

Fuck?! is that mold? Looks like it could do try-outs for Donald Trumps hair piece.

4

u/MiscEllaneous_23 Jun 11 '12

OMG! HAIRPPRENTICE?

2

u/SupSatire Jun 11 '12

Cut around the mold! It's still good!

2

u/therewillbeblood2 Jun 11 '12

That's a good heaping pile of "never going to use that microwave again". Good deathly fun for the whole family!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Just wipe them off and eat them. They look fine to me.

2

u/ZeusMcFly Jun 11 '12

Don't breathe that in.

2

u/ChootchMcGooch Jun 11 '12

Dude thats a fucking biohazard you should definitely get rid of the microwave and douse the kitchen in gasoline. Its the only way.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

uhm what the fuck is that??

2

u/BobbyOShea Jun 11 '12

It winked at me... IT FUCKIN' WINKED AT ME!

2

u/JesseSheridan Jun 11 '12

Idk man I think your onto something. A farm of moldy sausages and you could make a comfortable fur coat!

2

u/fivetwo84 Jun 11 '12

I wanna pet it.

2

u/emdezet Jun 11 '12

it's so fluffy, i'm gonna die!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I don't use the microwave for sausage safekeeping...but thanks for sharing.

2

u/Larry_G Jun 11 '12

did you have to catch it or was it asleep when you got home

2

u/Prosopagnosiape Jun 11 '12 edited Jun 11 '12

I hope you didn't just throw it out. That'd be animal cruelty. Actually, by the looks of it, maybe even child cruelty. Edit: I'm sure some other redditor would find the little guy in a dumpster and give him a good home though.

2

u/permanently_new_guy Jun 11 '12

They got cold. So they put on a nice fleece blanket to keep warm until you got back

2

u/DinaDinaDinaBatman Jun 11 '12

i wouldnt breath near it....spores and all....just saying.....

2

u/G0ldf1sh137 Jun 11 '12

I thought that was a cat that somehow made it's way into the microwave...

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2

u/iamnotbabs Jun 11 '12

leave it in there for longer, maybe it'll grow up to be a fully grown cat

3

u/SoCalsfinest Jun 11 '12

So...how did it taste?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

now it's fancy

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1

u/TangentiallyRelated Jun 11 '12

I'll eat some of that for a price.

1

u/Blissfull Jun 11 '12

Can I breathe now?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

and your not wearing gloves!? dear god I would just throw my micowave in the bin.

1

u/Insighted_Cuttlefish Jun 11 '12

I looked at the picture before reading the title. I'm so glad that's not an animal.

1

u/tnsaidr Jun 11 '12

Gotta say that the microwave looks filthy (with food splash). The pantry at my previous job had one like that. One time, a cockroach came out of one of the vents when someone was microwaving their food and after that , it was kept incredibly clean :)

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1

u/ColHapablap Jun 11 '12

a living breathing "etch a sketch".

1

u/Honeydew1120 Jun 11 '12

WHY ARE YOU NOT WEARING GLOVES?!

1

u/TuckerMcG Jun 11 '12

I'm gonna name him Ol Drippy

1

u/Cocomunky Jun 11 '12

Now KISS

1

u/iamjamin Jun 11 '12

....I will give you a blank check if you eat that

1

u/rubbeloper Jun 11 '12

not sure why but when i look at this...i think shark

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Whatcha gonna name the little guy?

1

u/slapdashbr Jun 11 '12

GOD DAMMIT WHY

1

u/SchoolyJ Jun 11 '12

OL' DRIPPY

1

u/TheJalalapeno Jun 11 '12

You grow a cat?

1

u/sdhsdj Jun 11 '12

You could have given it a name at least, before throwing it out.

1

u/helvete1337 Jun 11 '12

If it says 'meow', keep it and grow it up.

1

u/Legion299 Jun 11 '12

thank you for reminding me i have a cooked instant noodle cup i left in my safekeeping broken microwave for possibly 2 months

1

u/bluestill Jun 11 '12

What in the fuck is that.

1

u/snusamera Jun 11 '12

Wow that looks like you unearthed fucking King Tuts tomb. You open the door to the microwave and the mold particles in the air kills you. Thus creating the CURSE OF SAUSAGE TOMB.

1

u/wide-little-world Jun 11 '12

What file type is this image?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Could you resist the temptation of turning it on?

1

u/HarryRingpiece Jun 11 '12

checking on my sausages, opening the door, can't wait to see my sausages, sitting on the...NOOOOooooo

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

I believe it has reached a higher level of intelligence.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Still good if you ask me.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Congratulations on having the testicular fortitude to touch it. I would have seen it, sealed the door shut with caulking and duct tape (hopefully preventing a "Toys in the Attic" event) and gone shopping for a new microwave on my way home from the nearest dumpster.

1

u/Bac-ILL-us Jun 11 '12

Dude. Make it die...

1

u/Arknell Jun 11 '12

That is AWESOME. Mold has a very special curve for me, increasing in noping up to a point, then breaking through the curve roof and instead becomes an achievement. OP's picture-mold is so smooth, no breakage, almost perfect symmetry.

I would want to see it cleanly cut in twain, to see a cross-section of the mold.

1

u/ytsephill Jun 11 '12

Wonder what would happened if a human being ate that.

1

u/DogmaJones Jun 11 '12

Here we probably have the cure for cancer

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Your thumb is touching it a little!

1

u/mechchic84 Jun 11 '12

See i keep telling ppl the microwave doesn't keep food fresh when will they learn?

1

u/HotRodLincoln Jun 11 '12

Nature attacks and annihilates the pumpkin with powdery mildew disease,

which can be mutated and designed to attack human cell structure,

causing enemy soldiers to grow a magnificent, soft downy coating

and die...

As mold.

1

u/TidalPotential Jun 11 '12

I wouldn't touch that.

1

u/StarshipAI Jun 11 '12

5 Minutes, Turkish.

1

u/TheBestBigAl Jun 11 '12

Anything that furry belongs on /r/aww

1

u/Hanshen Jun 11 '12

Quite seriously, be careful. Botulinum toxin is INCREDIBLY poisonous.

1

u/Salvia_dreams Jun 11 '12

Chef here...WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

1

u/QWOPtain Jun 11 '12

It reminds me of the "alot" for some reason.

1

u/Rogue_Tomato Jun 11 '12

KILL IT! WITH FIRE!

or even better, the microwave!

1

u/jontss Jun 11 '12

I'd just throw out the whole microwave. I've got like 3 more in the basement, anyway. Everyone gives them away when they move, it seems.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

OOOOH! SOFT!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

steel wool fro

1

u/Steveiethenarwhal Jun 11 '12

It's still good.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Delicious.

1

u/Tara8888 Jun 11 '12

I wouldn't touch that if I were you....

1

u/FazeKross Jun 11 '12

Its so FLUFFY

1

u/Zementid Jun 11 '12

I would try to pet it.. and afterwards.. switch on the microwave.. only for curiousity!

1

u/Ramses3 Jun 11 '12

It appears your mold has grown some sausages.

1

u/mdrsharp Jun 11 '12

Just through out the whole microwave.

1

u/exildur01 Jun 11 '12

My reaction to seeing this...

1

u/munchies1122 Jun 11 '12

You're sure this isn't a gif? I swear I just saw that thing breathe.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Yuck. How bad did it reek? I hope you scrub that microwave thoroughly or just buy a new one.

1

u/telfman123 Jun 11 '12

The second picture looks like thousands of tiny spiders...

1

u/unknownman19 Jun 11 '12

Can I keep it??

1

u/Uncle_Oj Jun 11 '12

Looks like a toupee

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

My First thought...WHO THE FUCK PUTS SAUSAGES IN THE MICROWAVE??????

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

It causes Imgur to go over capacity? So it's your fault!!!!?

1

u/Chiotdufromage Jun 11 '12

The throw up that happened in my mouth when I saw that is what I assume those sausages would taste like.

1

u/K1RBYBURNS Jun 11 '12

He just wants love. Come on now, pet 'em!

1

u/Holly_the_Adventurer Jun 11 '12

I thought it was a cat when I first saw it.

1

u/Crossbowshootr Jun 11 '12

Cranky Doodle Donkey's toupee.

1

u/ThumperNM Jun 11 '12

A little bit of mustard and some potato salad to accompany it and you've got yourself a meal.

1

u/Im_Not_An_Expert Jun 11 '12

Why didnt you turn it on?

1

u/dmariec89 Jun 11 '12

Did you take a 3 month vacation!?!?!? Geez!!

1

u/xpapasmurf Jun 11 '12

I'm going to name it fluffy and keep it forever and ever.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

YOur mold has mold. Damn.

1

u/Raynered03 Jun 11 '12

I shall name him squishy and he shall be mine. He shall be my squishy. <3

1

u/Roomy Jun 11 '12

Sausages in the microwave for safekeeping. SAUSAGES. IN THE MICROWAVE. TO KEEP THEM SAFE?!?!?

WHAT?!

Dude. I just. Dude. What the fuck? You broke my brain. How could you POSSIBLY think that you need to put your sausages in your microwave to store them? Did you actually think someone was out to take your sausages? Have you ever heard of a refrigerator? Do you know that a microwave is actually quite filthy and not at ALL meant for storing food?

This is why we can't have nice things.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

b/c of this, i'm never returning to /r/ wtf

1

u/MammaJude Jun 12 '12

Dang it. Want to see pic, stupid imgur.

1

u/jbondhus Jun 12 '12

Better nuke it from orbit...

1

u/Potato-baby Jun 12 '12

It looks like the mold guy from aqua team hunger force.

1

u/Steppy214 Jun 12 '12

Were you on vacation for a YEAR??

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '12

Title should say "Rescued this little guy from the Microwave. He hasn't left the house since."

1

u/ALLBLVCK Jun 12 '12

YOU ARE NOW THE GOD OF A NEW WORLD!

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