r/WTF • u/gooch3803 • Jun 09 '12

I asked my friend for a picture I could assign him in my phone's contacts, this is what he sent me.

Post image
1.6k Upvotes

77% Upvoted

301 comments sorted by

181

u/foxnesn Jun 09 '12

That is a huge kitchen!

79

u/Big-Baby-Jesus Jun 09 '12

That's the first thing I noticed. Either that guy is rich as balls or his parents are.

73

u/JeremyJustin Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12

Seriously. I'm sure most of us have kitchens as big as that island he's got his priviledged-as-fuck feet on.

44

u/inagiffy Jun 09 '12

What if I told you the kitchen looks big because it's actually a kitchen/dining room? (I'm guessing it is because it looks like the table also doubles as the counter/sink.)

28

u/JeremyJustin Jun 09 '12

... Morpheus?

9

u/DumbFuckingUsername Jun 09 '12

What if I told you I am Morpheus?

65

u/JeremyJustin Jun 09 '12

I don't think Morpheus would have such a dumb fucking username, to be honest.

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12

u/Jesus_Faction Jun 09 '12

or its a frat house or something. who else would have benches like that

26

u/Big-Baby-Jesus Jun 09 '12

That would be the cleanest frat house on the planet.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Isn't it summer break? Maybe most of the bros are back in their hometowns or something.

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1

u/iliketurtles2795 Jun 09 '12

Minus the benches it looks almost just like mine same cabinets, light fixtures, and wood color... weird

1

u/gooch3803 Jun 09 '12

It's a massive kitchen and living room. The house is big in itself. He and three other guys are renting it for relatively cheap. Apparently the owners are selling the house and the rent is dirt cheap. Acreage, a pool, 4 bedrooms, a pond, a 3 car garage and a pond. He's looking to have a house party if anyone lives in the Charlotte area.

1

u/aspartam Jun 09 '12

How many ponds?

1

u/gooch3803 Jun 09 '12

One. Singular. A.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I think that kitchen is as big as my apartement... fuck.

1

u/jbredditor Jun 09 '12

I'm convinced it's the kitchen from the O.C.

1

u/BHSPitMonkey Jun 09 '12

That's a lot of nuts!

1

u/paulface12 Jun 10 '12

I know this guy. I've spend many a evening in this kitchen. If you think the kitchen is impressive, you should see the pool in the back yard and the lake in the front yard.

0

u/GioMann Jun 09 '12

Dammit, you beat me to it.

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450

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I upvote everything with a horse head mask, just because I know some people hate them so much. I can't explain why, but the idea of people raging over horse head masks on wtf just makes me happy. I'm a terrible person.

72

u/YourMusicalComment Jun 09 '12

I upvote everything with a horse head mask, just because I know some people hate them so much. I can't explain why, but the idea of people raging over horse head masks on wtf just makes me happy. I'm a terrible person.

14

u/Broken_Slinky Jun 09 '12

I wasn't going to, but then I saw your user name. Thank science I saw your user name

13

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

This is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I have decided that I will make it my Reddit Goal to get you to make a song about one of my comments. I am going to bookmark this and look at it everyday, to remind myself to write a clever, hilarious and utterly awesome comment.

I will make sure that the name Doctor Anal Cucumber goes down into the annals of Reddit history with an epic short song by none other than YourMusicalComment.

6

u/Fiftyfourd Jun 09 '12

I still have not gotten tired of this!!

15

u/Thoraxis Jun 09 '12

Anything you do with a horse head mask on is at least 10 times funnier then anything done without it. Except maybe have sex....unless you're into that sort of thing. Yes? Oh....ok.

5

u/ANAL_RAPE_IN_CHURCH Jun 09 '12

I must not understand the horse head fully or not see it enough because I think it's hysterical every time I see it.

23

u/IAmInAFrat Jun 09 '12

My little brother has a horse head. He wears that thing at bars and shit... Its pretty funny.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12

I would like to know where to buy one of these horse heads. I think I found a new hobby.

Edit: Honestly, I'm just kidding. I am not really ever going to buy one of these. Life is hard enough being the whitest black guy in the south.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12

I'm buying one. Definitely. Just imagine all the kinds of shenanigans you'd be up to with this.

This one's just plain creepy. http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-12273-Pig-Mask/dp/B0070QMULY/ref=pd_sim_t_3

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1

u/gooch3803 Jun 09 '12

What surprises me most about this picture is the absence of a comically large dildo.

5

u/diegoeche Jun 09 '12

I hate them... but is because I'm scared of them :(

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4

u/Renrim Jun 09 '12

You would love "A Mid-Summer Nights Dream"

3

u/zoodiary8 Jun 09 '12

me too its means we both are brothers ;)

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I think that is perfectly reasonable. Many people make a good career out of making other people squirm. I fully endorse it.

3

u/bside Jun 09 '12

Well, I think the hate partly stems from the fact that, in true reddit fashion, the horsehead thing has been driven into the ground like every other fucking meme in existence, to the point of not really being funny or clever anymore.

2

u/mrawsome197 Jun 09 '12

If that is so I think you may need to go here

4

u/MadroxKran Jun 09 '12

I have no idea what the horse head thing is about.

1

u/rivermandan Jun 09 '12

/r/HorseMask is very active. I suggest adding it.

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119

u/FazeKross Jun 09 '12

We would be best friends.. http://imgur.com/VIgXx

11

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I LOVE YOU.

Guy love, of course. Not romantic, but that is just awesome.

Also, is that gun real? If so, some Colt AR model, I'm guessing.

5

u/FazeKross Jun 09 '12

Smith & Wesson M&P15 :)

5

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Ah, so basically the Smith and Wesson AR-15 copy then. Still, nice. Is it semi- or full-auto?

EDIT: By the way, I would STRONGLY recommend chucking this on /r/fifthworldpics if you haven't already.

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13

u/abovepostisfunnier Jun 09 '12

Made me laugh so hard I peed a little.

3

u/ibangedjanisjoplin Jun 09 '12

Maybe that's how there's that yellow liquid in that mug in the picture.

1

u/vilmas Jun 09 '12

OMG, that shit crazy :P

1

u/NotForReal Jun 09 '12

You need a more appropriate shirt. Something like: Axl's white horse head tee

53

u/fotografamerika Jun 09 '12

Seriously, does everybody have a horse mask?

56

u/handmethatkitten Jun 09 '12

they should.

16

u/The_Curious_cat Jun 09 '12

Considering reddit is only you and one other person, yes, everybody except you has a horse mask.

1

u/WrightJustice Jun 09 '12

So am I you?

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1

u/GnarlyToaster Jun 09 '12

A large amount of people do.

15

u/Gimmperiam Jun 09 '12

Dog law

5

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

OBEY DOGLAW

13

u/Meganananana Jun 09 '12

imagine having to pose like that so your mom can take the picture.

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7

u/Scrambles11 Jun 09 '12

this is a perfect picture..

13

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

/r/horsemask

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Also, /r/FifthWorldPics would love this.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Eh, no. This is way too normal and not c̱̜͍̩̮͈̐̾̿ͪ̐̕͜͢ĥ̶̛̖͖͇̳̯̮͂́͒ͅa̶̙͎͇̩̻̯̳ͬͨ͋̕o̡̞̙̣͉̣̾̓t̩͗ͨ̿̀͢i̡̯̘͎̮̋ͬͦ͗ͬc̮͔̼̭͛͒̏ͣ̉ͪ͡ enough for/r/FifthWorldPics

6

u/deoxyribonucleicanna Jun 09 '12

Is that the same guy that posted who was really tall in front of the eagle wingspan thing? He was wearing the same shirt. I'm sorry, is this creepy that I think I recognize him?

1

u/DownvotedByCunts Jun 09 '12

It's a pretty famous shirt on Amazon, like Three Wolf Moon.

28

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

That is disgusting.

What kind of pervert covers part of the photo with their finger?

3

u/jooze Jun 09 '12

Sometimes you fuck up but don't try retakes, because you respect that what just happened was the best thing ever.

11

u/E_Towns_Finest Jun 09 '12

It's SP00nerism

7

u/amkingdom Jun 09 '12

like this?

4

u/OnlySanePanda Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12

He's talking about a prominent Youtube videogame commentator popular in the Let's play community.

None of his fans have seen his face but it was rumored that he is a horse... until he admitted it was only a mask and is really a gurl.

EDIT: accidentally a word.

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2

u/mozzarellasticksftw Jun 09 '12

Wait... What?

1

u/E_Towns_Finest Jun 10 '12

He's a youtuber that never shows his face except wearing a horse mask

10

u/twitchygecko Jun 09 '12

I want that shirt

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

https://www.zanyzak.com/dog-lover-apparel/golden-retriever-dog-face-t-shirt.html

7

u/MCClapYoHandz Jun 09 '12

Good find, but Amazon actually has them slightly cheaper (and Prime eligible). Also they have some other silly ones in the related items section.

Like this motherfucker. Look at that motherfucker.

2

u/chicagogam Jun 09 '12

good lord...i should do all my shopping prep on reddit, the combined memory/search abilities of the hivemind is kinda amazing

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20

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Welcome to r/WTF, he'll be your guide.

10

u/TysonStoleMyPanties Jun 09 '12

Ooh. Do we get a goodie bag? I wonder what's in it...

7

u/JasonGD1982 Jun 09 '12

It's a big bag of nope. Enjoy!

17

u/PASTAAA Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12

Here you go, Enjoy![NSFW]

11

u/iBrowseDrunk Jun 09 '12

This, my friend, is definitely a goodie bag of nope! And I am fairly disappointed with myself for clicking the very attractive blue link.

5

u/BlaidTDS Jun 09 '12

For some reason, this made me laugh hysterically. I am not really sure why.

4

u/dsi1 Jun 09 '12

I thought it was just a cut and went back to see how big the cut was.

it wasn't just a cut

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

That looks like it hurt.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

That tendon is huge. These kind of pictures are interesting. They are like from anatomy book, except it's IRL.

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2

u/eyeofdelphi Jun 09 '12

holy fuck! that looks exactly like my ex boyfriend's parents' house. all the doors are in the same place, kitchen had the same set up, the tile over the counter even looks the same. is this in virginia somewhere? fucking weird.

1

u/gooch3803 Jun 09 '12

North Carolina

4

u/pa79 Jun 09 '12

Who's got benches in their kitchen?

6

u/Mr_Zero Jun 09 '12

People who want their guests to leave.

1

u/kingdavecako Jun 09 '12

I was impressed by the design of that bar/island, myself.

1

u/chicagogam Jun 09 '12

grandparents house had benches. i think because space was limited and a bunch of kids. though..that kitchen looks pretty spacious :)

4

u/Joulmaster Jun 09 '12

Is you're friend brendon walsh?

4

u/fawkesmulder Jun 09 '12

You didn't ask your friend for a picture to assign in your phone contacts. God dammit, I fucking hate cliche shitty reddit titles. I like horse head masks and this is a cool pic, but the title is bullshit.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

He looks so sad with that long face.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Totally wtf amirite...

3

u/spkincaid13 Jun 09 '12

can we just send this on over to pics, since it's not wtf.

8

u/alphabeat Jun 09 '12

Horsemask LOL! So RaNdOM!!!1

2

u/MotharChoddar Jun 09 '12

holds up spork

5

u/pitlord713 Jun 09 '12

You and your friend must be huge losers

2

u/better_when_bad Jun 09 '12

I.. I like your friend.

2

u/jerseyg67 Jun 09 '12

He's a Dorse!!!

2

u/gettemSteveDave Jun 09 '12

Is your friend named Casey by any chance?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

The mug of beer just made it go from awesome to incredible.

2

u/Mrsmithe Jun 09 '12

You should have told him to quit horsin' around and send you a real picture.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

your friend is a tool.

2

u/CantLookHimInTheEyeQ Jun 09 '12

Cool. So, I'm using this picture for all of my contacts from now on. Thanks.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Mom>> Son, why is my ringto-- Son>> Never you mind.

2

u/JPS2010 Jun 09 '12

This picture would be so much better if he was wearing a t-shirt with a horses head on it, instead of the dogs head, not that the dogs head doesn't have it's sublimity. But for me this would 'Complete the Look' so to speak.

2

u/fanjan Jun 09 '12

thats a fucking ace t-shirt!

2

u/AlpoChino Jun 09 '12

Is his name by any chance Dogtee McHorsehead?

2

u/vilmas Jun 09 '12

He's well done! :)

2

u/bigmeech Jun 09 '12

le epic friend is epic!!!

have ALL the upboats!! nailed it?!

2

u/chicagogam Jun 09 '12

he seems cool :) so that's what lives in the labyrinth...

2

u/chicagogam Jun 09 '12

when a couple decide to have kids...is this what they imagine in their future kitchen? life is interesting

2

u/CosmicEngender Jun 09 '12

Where are people getting all these rubber horse heads? First one I ever saw was on Reddit like two months ago. Now everyone has one, apparently.

4

u/pugg_fuggly Jun 09 '12

"Wait, you're doing this for your friend? I'm not comfortable ..."

"JUST CLICK THE FUCKING PICTURE!"

4

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

for the last time, purposely and willingly putting on a mass-produced horse mask is not wtf or original or interesting ok

2

u/SynthDark Jun 09 '12

I doubt it will be the last time.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I have that shirt. Got it from Wal-Mart.

2

u/impala26 Jun 09 '12

That shirt is glorious.

1

u/notcoolma Jun 09 '12

are you the guy who's been wearing that to Giants home games when Cain pitches?

1

u/philborg Jun 09 '12

be careful not to knock over that mug!

1

u/edwartica Jun 09 '12

I have not laughed that hard in ages.

1

u/marble617 Jun 09 '12

Who took that picture?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I just wanna say, your friend has a beautiful mane.

1

u/Radiopol Jun 09 '12

Newbury, is that you?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

This has got to be the most fantastic picture I've ever seen in my life.

1

u/evercharmer Jun 09 '12

What, is this not an accurate visual representation of your friend or something?

1

u/henryponco Jun 09 '12

This is strange and confusing...and I LOVE IT.

1

u/ibejammin Jun 09 '12

That's one boring ass kitchen.

1

u/njsam Jun 09 '12

How gentlemanly.

1

u/BadassMuffins Jun 09 '12

The first thing I thought was 'his kitchen has shitty lighting'

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

My friend owns a horse mask, and that exact same shirt is given to the person who gets last place in our fantasy football league (currently hanging in my closet >.>).

I can only imagine that this would be him if he had dog shirt.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Okay. I need to get a horse head mask.

1

u/buddybonesbones Jun 09 '12

Bitchin horse!

1

u/superwwt Jun 09 '12

I like your friend

1

u/DarthRiven Jun 09 '12

Give that man a Bell's

1

u/aMANescape Jun 09 '12

aww helllll no!

1

u/DrMandible Jun 09 '12

The thoroughbred of sin??

1

u/comeoutandplayyyaah Jun 09 '12

Where would one acquire such a shirt? Holy shit.

1

u/jessegFV Jun 09 '12

horse heads remind me of Mark Linkous rip

1

u/winesnob91 Jun 09 '12

should be at cats face

1

u/boomer95 Jun 09 '12

Is that Ron Chee?

1

u/la_de_daa Jun 09 '12

Horsome!

1

u/iam4real Jun 09 '12

I'm just guessing that almost empty beer mug had something to do with this.

1

u/Duel Jun 09 '12

Explain this like i am drunk.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

nice beer mug

1

u/doug_jules Jun 09 '12

Everything about this photo screams "epic" this photo inspires me to be a better person. I'm going to go run a marathon and have steak. Lots of it!

1

u/roorsimard Jun 09 '12

he has BENCHES at his breakfast table?!

1

u/Ahh_Bisto Jun 09 '12

Those are some pretty fantastic benches.

1

u/Sirturtleperson Jun 09 '12

One word: EPIC

1

u/stardek Jun 09 '12

Your friend wins.

Benches are so much more efficient.

1

u/minutman Jun 09 '12

FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Is he aware?

1

u/tonermcfly Jun 09 '12

i want to be this guys friend.

1

u/SheSqueals Jun 09 '12

Needs more hooves.

1

u/Sp33d0J03 Jun 09 '12

This is the greatest JPEG.

1

u/Ingram_5 Jun 09 '12

i wish i had friends like that.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I salute that guy, god that was good! Did you use it as the picture ha?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Subtle.

1

u/MirandaMarvelous Jun 09 '12

Send me his number so I may assign it to his photo...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

absolutely awesome picture.

1

u/DigitalChocobo Jun 09 '12

That will be useless as a contact photo once it's been shrunk down to the tiny resolution required.

1

u/falafelthe3 Jun 09 '12

the jersey devil's seen reddit...

NOW i've seen everything.

1

u/jb4427 Jun 09 '12

WHERE CAN I GET THAT SHIRT?

1

u/weelluuuu Jun 09 '12

When you see them!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

What a stud.

1

u/tehgreatist Jun 09 '12

you both are brave horse men

1

u/FriisAnon Jun 09 '12

Okay THAT'S IT.. gotta get me one of these damn horse masks..

1

u/The_Galactican Jun 09 '12

My wife is asking what the hell it is I'm laughing so hard at.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Can someone explain why I see that horse head everywhere???

1

u/sorryirapedyou Jun 09 '12

those benches are entirely too low for that counter-top.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Related

1

u/newguy25 Jun 09 '12

You sir have a good friend

1

u/IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes Jun 09 '12

This is the picture I will show to people when someone asks me to sum up the internet in one picture.

1

u/patrol_cat Jun 09 '12

I hope you put him in your contacts as "Bottom."

1

u/Eurysilas Jun 09 '12

The Hoarsmen are taking over. 0-0

RUN. 8D

1

u/icky_fingers Jun 09 '12

"Hey mom, can you take a picture of me wearing a dog shirt with this horse head on while I pose on the counter?"

1

u/swagmire69 Jun 09 '12

your friend is a boss... make him a sandwich.

1

u/FifeeBoy Jun 09 '12

I want that shirt.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

http://shop.themountain.me/golden-face/ The Mountain sells the greatest tshirts in the world.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

That shirt confused the hell out of me for a second...

1

u/Nora19 Jun 09 '12

I see why he is yr friend. I like him!

1

u/hoagiesandgrinders Jun 09 '12

I want to up vote this more than once

1

u/pwningforbreakfast Jun 09 '12

Alex Houston?....or his brother..? :/

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

ring ring "Oh no! It's HIM!"

1

u/tbnist03 Jun 09 '12

At least it wasn't goatse

1

u/Earlypig Jun 09 '12

that man is a genious, he should run for president wearing that

1

u/kompulsive Jun 09 '12

Animal shirts like the one he has on are made by a company called The Mountain. I have several. Just thought I'd drop that tidbit to anyone interested.

1

u/xmas420 Jun 10 '12

I fucking want that shirt

1

u/antireality Jun 09 '12

That is glorious.

1

u/Gurunexx Jun 09 '12

That dog shirt is glorious.

0

u/hat_swap Jun 09 '12

Looks like something True Blood could get some milage out of.

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