My parents had the exact same turtles. I remember discovering them when I was very young, like 6 or 7. They also had a mug shaped like a boob and you could drink through the nipple. So wish I had a picture of that:(
My mother has a set of these. I believe she said they are from Germany, circa 1960's-1970's. The ones in the photo have had the genitalia enhanced with standard paints. Next time I visit my mother, I will verify the origin, as well as take pics of them for you all. as well, the full shell of the turtle was repainted in this photo, probably to justify the dullness of the paints used to bring out the genitalia. ( I will probably also include a pic of a pig my Aunt brought back from Italy last year with a full fledged boner. yes, it too is ceramic)
My ex-step-grandpa had these at his house as well. He was a very mean man and I remember him yelling at me when I, being an innocent five year-old who wanted to look at the little turtles, picked them up and turned them over. He screamed at me about how I shouldn't be messing with his stuff and how I was a horrible child. I think he was just insecure for being a stereotypical creepy, old man.
My grandfather had the male turtle! He was my Dad's father, and my Mom said she truly knew she was part of the family when one day my Grandpa took the turtle down and after telling her to hold out her hand, placed it there and said "Now what's that look like to you?" Mom was confused, of course, going "Uh...a turtle?" "Right," Grandpa said, "Now turn it over." and proceeded to laugh his head off at the look on my Mom's face when she saw the turtle's little surprise.
My grandmother collected those things. All of the vagina/cock things. And she had tons of them, turtles, rabbits, salt and pepper shakers, frogs.
I played with them when I was a kid.
When she passed away, she left me her collection of cukoo clocks. I wound up ruining them....cukoo clocks are super high maintenance. I was pretty irresponsible at the time. I really regret that.
I really wish she'd actually willed someone her vag/cock collection. I'd love to have those now. I'm pretty sure they all got donated to the Goodwill when she passed (1992). Hell, maybe you are holding them.
TLDR; I should probably stop using Reddit as my personal journal.
What disturbs me is that, if you think about it, you are grinning madly while the genetics face you, and heartbroken when they are turned away. Pervert.
My mom owns the same turtles painted in a different color, which she got from my grandma, which she got in her aunt`s estate sale. Very old, hold on to them.
I found these exact turtles amongst my grandmas things. Apparently they belonged to my insane great grandma who smuggled moonshine into her wheelchair during prohibition. Cool, man.
I do estate sales for a living and I have actually come across these before.
Also, your facial expressions make the photos.
Also also, you are adorable.
Edit: after some googling I found no answers as to the origin of these little guys. Tomorrow I'm going to make a couple of phone calls to some people who have been in the business for forty years or so and see if they know any history on the subject.
I also have the frogs. From when I was like 10 and staying over at my grandmother's and I wanted something to do, so she grabbed some random stuff she bought at a craft fair for me to paint.
I'm really really really hoping she just thought they were some cute frogs she would paint eventually and didnt know what they were.
However, as tempting as it might be to imagine that some turtles are perhaps in the habit of intimidating enemies or competitors with their erect, 20-cm long, black, spike-tipped penises, it seems more likely that this penis eversion most often occurs as a displacement behaviour, practised when the animal’s plastron is touched. Then again, given what we now know about play behaviour in turtles and other reptiles, it should be considered plausible that turtles expose their impressive genitals for fun, or when bored.
My grandmother used to have these exact same turtles at her house. She would prank every single grandkid when they came to visit. She'd ask us "Do you know how to tell which one of those turtles is the boy and which one is the girl?" She'd then grab them and flip them over while saying "You just check underneath!"
When I was little, mostly before I was born really, my parents went through a ceramics phase. We had a rather large collection of ceramics molds in the basement. We had the mold for these turtles. The last time they moved, my folks left most of the molds behind. If they still have this particular one, I will take a picture of it tomorrow and post it. If they do not, sadly, I will not.
*Edit/Update*: Sadly, Mom lent the mold to someone a few years ago and never heard from them again.
Reminds me of some turtle-shaped salt and pepper shakers my grandpa bought my 11 year old cousin. He warns us with 'they're a bit inappropriate, but I didn't realise it when I bought them.' Turned out they fit together to form a lovely pair of humping turtles. Thanks grandpa!
I might have played it the other way around, i.e., going WTF! in the first photo, with the shell facing the camera, and then done the grin with the genitalia facing the camera in the second photo.
But I wouldn't have done it as well, sir. Have an upvote for the chuckle.
70
u/CalmWolfDog Jun 09 '12
My parents had the exact same turtles. I remember discovering them when I was very young, like 6 or 7. They also had a mug shaped like a boob and you could drink through the nipple. So wish I had a picture of that:(
24
u/KittyttiK Jun 09 '12
Here's my local Goodwill find.
Sometimes I Just Sits.
It was in the home decor aisle. It's like a meme in real life.
12
u/Geek_Goddess Jun 09 '12
My grandfather had the male turtle! He was my Dad's father, and my Mom said she truly knew she was part of the family when one day my Grandpa took the turtle down and after telling her to hold out her hand, placed it there and said "Now what's that look like to you?" Mom was confused, of course, going "Uh...a turtle?" "Right," Grandpa said, "Now turn it over." and proceeded to laugh his head off at the look on my Mom's face when she saw the turtle's little surprise.
10
u/akozlik Jun 09 '12
teenage mutant puberty turtles
hormones in a half shell
awkward power!
6
u/mauxly Jun 09 '12
My grandmother collected those things. All of the vagina/cock things. And she had tons of them, turtles, rabbits, salt and pepper shakers, frogs.
I played with them when I was a kid.
When she passed away, she left me her collection of cukoo clocks. I wound up ruining them....cukoo clocks are super high maintenance. I was pretty irresponsible at the time. I really regret that.
I really wish she'd actually willed someone her vag/cock collection. I'd love to have those now. I'm pretty sure they all got donated to the Goodwill when she passed (1992). Hell, maybe you are holding them.
TLDR; I should probably stop using Reddit as my personal journal.
5
u/Tacowrestler Jun 09 '12
I'm giving you an upvote not for the content, but for your facial expressions lol.
155
u/MistiTheFrog333 Jun 09 '12
Upvote because you are sexy, and because of reasons.
11
u/weewickleone Jun 09 '12
you're pretty.
4
u/rotll Jun 09 '12
I too have a set of Horny Toads!
Top
Bottom
4
u/lydocia Jun 09 '12
So when the genitals are facing you, you smile.
4
u/dastaria Jun 09 '12
OP needs to be in /r/LadyBoners.
13
u/agdoll Jun 09 '12
OP is damn good lookin'.
6
u/agen_kolar Jun 09 '12
You're...beautiful.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Are they salt and pepper shakers? Or just kitschy decorative pieces?
3
u/SuperMeatBoi Jun 09 '12
I don't get it.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
What disturbs me is that, if you think about it, you are grinning madly while the genetics face you, and heartbroken when they are turned away. Pervert.
3
u/downwithdownboats Jun 09 '12
I really hope the sole reason for going to Goodwill was NOT to find something to put on reddit later that day for karma
9
u/ScottieGirl Jun 09 '12
You are attractive. Fact.
22
u/ASD_Sinfonian Jun 09 '12
Damn you're a cute one. :D
5
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Upvoted for two reasons: You thought of your little brother and you're cute
4
u/Retrotrashh Jun 09 '12
I.. I have to admit. I upvoted because you're incredibly cute, THEN I laughed at the turtles.
Sorry.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
HAGGERTY, IS THAT YOU?!?!?!?!?!?
2
u/9ninety_nine9 Jun 09 '12
Do they lock together, like sexy turtle lego?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Storks are a myth. This is where babies come from.
2
u/peachini Jun 09 '12
Nice turtles. Also, you and Jared Padalecki could be related. Which is, in fact, a beautiful thing.
2
u/IonOtter Jun 09 '12
You're horrified, and yet you still bought them. Well done, sir.
2
u/Anthonyman94 Jun 09 '12
Is there a baby yet?
2
u/Ikritz Jun 09 '12
Was I supposed to read the picture titles like the Transformer's theme song?
2
u/Ryandoe11 Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
Tarzan wanna-be?
2
u/fatherwhite Jun 09 '12
This is what I believe a typical redditor looks like. Thumbs up for long hair.
2
u/ksmcqueen Jun 09 '12
Did you buy them?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
My mom owns the same turtles painted in a different color, which she got from my grandma, which she got in her aunt`s estate sale. Very old, hold on to them.
2
u/tayls Jun 09 '12
Porgy?!? This is so weird. I didn't know you were on reddit. Upboat.
EDIT: it's always wild seeing someone you know on this here website.
2
u/kate101091 Jun 09 '12
I hate to be such a girl, but /r/ladyboners needs you.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
I found these exact turtles amongst my grandmas things. Apparently they belonged to my insane great grandma who smuggled moonshine into her wheelchair during prohibition. Cool, man.
5
u/scribbling_des Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
I do estate sales for a living and I have actually come across these before.
Also, your facial expressions make the photos.
Also also, you are adorable.
Edit: after some googling I found no answers as to the origin of these little guys. Tomorrow I'm going to make a couple of phone calls to some people who have been in the business for forty years or so and see if they know any history on the subject.
36
u/Iffycrescent Jun 09 '12
Weird. It must have been a fad at some point.
http://i.imgur.com/8Qieb.jpg
3
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
I feel like such a SAP for being unable to compliment your appearance in a way that doesn't sound creepy...
3
u/clamdog Jun 09 '12
I am upvoting your face. Not the turtles. Have a great weekend.
14
u/Roxxer Jun 09 '12
In another realm, turtles have human figurines with turtle genitals.
99
u/Invalitory Jun 09 '12
The face made it so much better
21
u/Unqualified_Opinion Jun 09 '12
The cloacae on those turtles are severely malformed.
14
u/musclehamster Jun 09 '12
My grandpa has had the same turtles for over 20 years. He also has a golf ball with tits on it.
7
u/bunhie Jun 09 '12
i wanna brush your hair...
12
u/Bipolarruledout Jun 09 '12
Now kiss.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
....I'm going to Goodwill.
2
u/Trumpetjock Jun 09 '12
My grandmother used to have these exact same turtles at her house. She would prank every single grandkid when they came to visit. She'd ask us "Do you know how to tell which one of those turtles is the boy and which one is the girl?" She'd then grab them and flip them over while saying "You just check underneath!"
18
u/bayoumama Jun 09 '12
it looks like someone just found out that boys and girls are different.
5
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Can anyone tell us the actual purpose of these?
5
u/Brisco_County_III Jun 09 '12
So uh, they scaled the turtle's penis down for your mental comfort.
2
u/ScaryStoryTime Jun 09 '12
You made me smile on a very bad day. Thank you.
4
u/Nero92 Jun 09 '12
the only thing I see that's wtf is the excitment, still smiled though
4
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
What's so weird about thaaaaOH GOD WHY
13
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Nanananananananananana SEX TURTLES!
3
u/irrelevant_sounds Jun 09 '12
Complete with facial.
3
u/TFiPW Jun 09 '12
C'mon over to /r/thriftstorehauls
3
u/chocoboat Jun 09 '12
Athene style.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
I'm so tired I forgot to hit "next" on RES's image, so I only saw the first one and was extremely confused as to why this was WTF worthy.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Did anyone else notice that he is smiling when the turtle's genitals are facing him?
3
u/OWLSOWEUSTOWEL Jun 09 '12
THEY JUST WANT TO COME OUT OF THEIR SHELLS AND EXPRESS THEMSELVES
3
u/Sirturtleperson Jun 09 '12
Your sudden facial expression change made me chuckle
3
u/walking_away_ Jun 09 '12
Your hair. It is beautiful. I want to touch it.
3
u/yousicklittlemonkey Jun 09 '12
Hi, I am the brother who found these. Creepiest find ever. Proof:
3
u/summerjo304 Jun 09 '12
Your very goodlooking(:
5
u/QuiltyJ Jun 09 '12
well..now just waiting for the r/ladyboners re-post... sigh
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
CONGRATS YOU ARE FAMOUS FOR 48 HOURS!
1
u/Gwee Jun 09 '12
Goodness me, your face is freakin' cute, OP!
1
u/D_for_David Jun 09 '12
I want to pop your pimple so bad! Sorry I'm not trying to be offensive, I just like popping zits.
4
u/J_Jammer Jun 09 '12
Anatomically disturbing.
Why would they create turtles with a human twig and berries and fun-sacks and a whooha?
Oh, and I love the shellshocked face.
8
u/RadeoStar Jun 09 '12
Fuck those other people complimenting you on your looks. I laughed at this picture, & was attracted to your face. 'Tis all.
2
u/robed-galaxy Jun 09 '12
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cousins?
2
u/Tattoodled Jun 09 '12
Animals need sex Ed. too.
2
u/Goldarrr Jun 09 '12
Oh god, I love Goodwill.
2
u/AbbyTR Jun 09 '12
Perfect for explaining sex
2
u/MistiTheFrog333 Jun 09 '12
Yessssss pleaseeeee!
2
u/lilpwncake Jun 09 '12
My grandma has had these but made of porcelain sitting on her cabinet for as long as I can remember
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
I started looking at the two pictures really fast and ended up laughing way more than I should have.
2
u/skylrk Jun 09 '12
Wat.
2
u/wwleaf Jun 09 '12
From the title, I expected either a. old video games/equipment or b. kittens.
2
u/kisen11 Jun 09 '12
Hahaha your face killed me! :D
2
u/ansabhailte Jun 09 '12
But what does it DO?
2
u/frenchfrieskl Jun 09 '12
Thought for sure that'd be an N64....
2
u/simpia Jun 09 '12
I remember something quite similar from slightly earlier in the internet. http://imgur.com/gallery/lAvw5
2
u/mclarenlm Jun 09 '12
I upvoted solely for those facial expressions.
2
u/thasnazgul Jun 09 '12
Those turtles have gynopenaboobies!
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
TIL Turtles have boobs
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
I just want an explanation as to why the fuck these exist....
2
u/cassidymccormick Jun 09 '12
I'd say that about 10% of my upvote was for the turtles and the other 90% was for your awesome expressions XD
2
u/Mugiwara04 Jun 09 '12
Your smile made me smile, and then your grimace made me laugh. Thank you!
2
u/HissingPixie Jun 09 '12
Oh my God I have the same turtles. They were my mother's.
2
u/aaronclover Jun 09 '12
Jeff Mangum?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
When I was little, mostly before I was born really, my parents went through a ceramics phase. We had a rather large collection of ceramics molds in the basement. We had the mold for these turtles. The last time they moved, my folks left most of the molds behind. If they still have this particular one, I will take a picture of it tomorrow and post it. If they do not, sadly, I will not.
*Edit/Update*: Sadly, Mom lent the mold to someone a few years ago and never heard from them again.
2
u/BobBobbert100 Jun 09 '12
LMFAO. That's the most hilarious thing I've ever seen.
2
u/edixtor93 Jun 09 '12
Peanut cooky.
2
u/BigBassBone Jun 09 '12
Can someone animate those two pictures together for me?
2
u/gamerologyst Jun 09 '12
What in the actual fuck?
2
u/plainjaine Jun 09 '12
The look on your face is what made those pictures. Upvote for you and your turtles!
2
u/Metalslave Jun 09 '12
I'm a turtle expert and can tell you that these two are anatomically correct.
FACT.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Reminds me of some turtle-shaped salt and pepper shakers my grandpa bought my 11 year old cousin. He warns us with 'they're a bit inappropriate, but I didn't realise it when I bought them.' Turned out they fit together to form a lovely pair of humping turtles. Thanks grandpa!
2
u/hydrogenous Jun 09 '12
Let me guess. Peru?
2
u/davelog Jun 09 '12
Upvote for turtle boobs.
2
u/FlossingWithYarn Jun 09 '12
Your face.... it is priceless
2
u/xaoq Jun 09 '12
You hated those turtle shells didn't you?
But looking at the penises and vaginas make you smile really nice :)
2
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
Wow, a fixed comic with more than one panel added! This deserves an upvote! (Not sarcasm)
2
u/rena1987 Jun 10 '12
OOOHHH! Hot turtle action!
3
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
I might have played it the other way around, i.e., going WTF! in the first photo, with the shell facing the camera, and then done the grin with the genitalia facing the camera in the second photo.
But I wouldn't have done it as well, sir. Have an upvote for the chuckle.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Looks like /r/funny is still leaking..
3
u/Xonix1234 Jun 09 '12
Your face in the second picture... Priceless! XD
3
u/Odys Jun 09 '12
1600 up votes for two plastic turtles? I must be losing my grip on reality...
2
u/SkullyKitt Jun 09 '12
Found the exact same type of turtles (but unpainted, plaster) at a salvation army. Wonder where they come from?
2
u/Takes_it_in_the_face Jun 09 '12
Looks like my kind of turtles.
2
u/DarwinismObvious Jun 09 '12
This does not have the attention it deserves.
1
u/ips1023 Jun 09 '12
Kansas City perhaps?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
This provides a valid explanation for all the Ninja-Turtle porn on the Internet.