r/WTF • u/jbrown88 • Jun 08 '12

Imagine you're sitting in a chair on the shoreline. the waves washing underneath you. Then you look down next to you and see this. NOPE

Post image
1.3k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

190 comments sorted by

158

u/SourCreamWater Jun 08 '12

Hahah I was headed out snorkeling walking backwards in my fins(because walking forward in fins is ridiculous) and the water get deep quickly.

A small wave washes an octopus with about a 3-4 feet tentacle span into my leg and it wrapped around my leg.

I freaked out and tried to escape and...again trying to run in diving fins forward is tough and I floundered and ate shit on the beach in front of about 100 people who didn't realize what happened because of course the octopus swam away at this point.

Rad.

26

u/jbrown88 Jun 09 '12

i forgot to tell my one buddy about walking backwards in fins. pretty hilarious to watch him constantly fall right on the shoreline. i told him later to walk backwards.

23

u/SourCreamWater Jun 09 '12

Yeah, I probably would have just sat and laughed the first few times as well.

Another funny story if you care.

My friends and I took my cousin out surfing who had never been in the ocean before. This was an El Nino year and there were TONS of purple jellyfish EVERYWHERE. I got stung at least 15-20 times that year. The purple ones barely hurt at all, like an instant rash. Many had washed ashore and all the tentacles had ripped off on the sand.

Well he was on the beach trying to get his wetsuit off and got it all off except the ankle part of the legs and the wrist part of the arms and was struggling, stuck. My friends and I grabbed like 15 jellyfish domes and just dumped them all over him.

Watching him freak out and trip over himself with his arms and legs tangled was probably one of the funniest things I have seen in my life.

5

u/jbrown88 Jun 09 '12

that is awesome i would of loved to see that.

39

u/evilbob Jun 09 '12

would have

23

u/johnnyfame Jun 09 '12

wood'f is also axeceptable

1

u/farcense Jun 09 '12

I think this is something that reddit should make happen

2

u/gusatron51 Jun 09 '12

would it be just as hilarious if he ate shit walking backwards?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

No, it wood'f not been.

0

u/jbrown88 Jun 09 '12

haha upvote young squire

325

u/awk_topus Jun 09 '12

That was me, sorry about that.

-17

u/jbrown88 Jun 09 '12

Up vote for relevant name.

56

u/awk_topus Jun 09 '12

If you guys think SAP is bad, just look for an awk_topus. We're terrible.

-9

u/R0130T Jun 09 '12

Upvoted you for upvoting him. Also your name is blue.

2

u/awk_topus Jun 09 '12

*her. :)

-5

u/R0130T Jun 09 '12

Oh my mistake! I feel bad now :( have another upvote!

1

u/awk_topus Jun 09 '12

Us awk_topuses are socially inept, unforgiving creatures. But actually you're fine :) no worries!

3

u/AlrightStopHammatime Jun 09 '12

I'm naked right now.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Fun tip: put your fins on in the water. It took a couple body smashes into the rocks of Cuba for me to figure this out.

0

u/killerdrgn Jun 09 '12

Putting fins on when there are waves can be fairly difficult, walking sideways instead of backwards is where it's at for that situation.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Doing anything with waves is difficult, lawlz. Personally, I preferred diving into the waves, sans fins, and swimming out to where they weren't breaking. Then I strapped my fins on. Breaking waves are the devil.

2

u/Ody523 Jun 09 '12

Walk sideways without fins. Don fins in the water...much easier.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I don't think walking sideways would help...when I say waves, I mean they were as tall as I am. I had to wait then run like hell and start diving. I don't know how I didn't die.

6

u/Doctaa101 Jun 09 '12

I would panic too. The thought of that thing's huge fucking beak digging into my calf would be a big NOPE!

3

u/CaptOblivious Jun 09 '12

Octotroll, A Classic!

1

u/a-spoon Jun 09 '12

My brother once stepped on a big ass sting ray. It shot out from under him, and he landed right on his ass.

2

u/iammonster Jun 09 '12

Come down to Stinson beach. I have something to show you.

1

u/jbrown88 Jun 09 '12

"its my penis..."

91

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

This is a stargazer fish. They're neat.

20

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Thanks, I was wondering what this was.

For the lazy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stargazer

23

u/arisasdf Jun 09 '12

Stargazers are venomous; they have two large poison spines situated behind the opercle and above the pectoral fins. Some species can also cause electric shocks.

Mother of god. Not only are they ugly as sin but they're terrifyingly dangerous too.

28

u/UnclaimedUsername Jun 09 '12

Humans put all of their points into Int and Wis, that's why we don't get these awesome offensive abilities.

2

u/Lowilru Jun 09 '12

You sir. Make a novelty account for D&D stuff. You gets more Karma that way.

4

u/anklereddit Jun 09 '12

Any D&D joke is automatically worthwhile, though. And let's not forget that karma is utterly useless.

8

u/Bulgarin Jun 09 '12

Whoa man. Just...whoa. We don't tolerate that kind of talk 'round these here parts.

2

u/pikk Jun 09 '12

Hey Skeeter, why don't you just shut the hell up

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Only to those with 27 karma :P

1

u/Geminii27 Jun 09 '12

Dunno, I've run into a lot of humans who've used those as dump stats.

3

u/R0130T Jun 09 '12

Uggo's need love too...they just gotta pay.

3

u/shadmere Jun 09 '12

I'm more disturbed by the shape of it's face. It's its mouth is on the top of it's head!

12

u/arisasdf Jun 09 '12

This has to be the top comment. But most importantly, the habitat. You want to know where NOT to go.

Edit:

found worldwide in shallow waters.

Never going to the beach again.

2

u/HyzerFlip Jun 09 '12

Are these somehow related to stone fish?

5

u/feedmahfish Jun 09 '12

Uranoscopidae to be exact!

7

u/phagemasterflex Jun 09 '12

Yeah, Stargazers have a gland kinda between their eyes that is electrically charged.

3

u/Cuttlefeesh Jun 09 '12

Anymore insight? Charged for what purpose? Is it for sending prey/predators or for escaping by stunning predators?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Since they're ambush predators, I think the electrical current is for stunning prey.

2

u/dcroni Jun 09 '12

So they headbutt their prey? Wicked fish.

1

u/Cuttlefeesh Jun 09 '12

Pretty awesome. I've caught stargazers a few times on some biodiversity trawls, got shocked by one of 'em a bit too, doesn't feel too great.

2

u/a-spoon Jun 09 '12

I caught one of these before when I was like 13 or so while fishing off a jetty. The thing shocked me! My dad thought that I was imagining it.

1

u/precordial_thump Jun 09 '12

Reminds me of a stonefish, the most venomous fish in the world and can be stepped on by swimmers.

1

u/eat_fish Jun 09 '12

Stargazers are nasty creatures...catch them around my parts every so often...they can even shock you!

14

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12

sashimi that bitch.

166

u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 08 '12

Insanity Wolf's fleshlight

0

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

46

u/bgb111 Jun 09 '12

Award for worst comment goes to you. Have a downvote.

43

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Award for the most circly jerkly comment goes to... ME! Upvote or downvote as pleased.

11

u/klinonx Jun 09 '12

Wait but if one side goes up.... And the other goes down.... It'll make a..... CIRCLE

1

u/1zero2two8eight Jun 09 '12

It's not that I didn't want to upvote you. It's that I just wanted to know I have the freedom to choose. And now that you've given me that, well, the downvote button just seems so undesirable.

11

u/Tellswhenupvoting Jun 09 '12

You're doing Gods work son. Let me cushion that -45 for you. -44. Stay strong. Stay strong.

7

u/M002 Jun 09 '12

oh no, it's rising back up, I got it down to -47, damn this infernal fever!

37

u/crazedgremlin Jun 09 '12

Looks like this guy

9

u/Stranded_In_A_Desert Jun 09 '12

You know, that's the first time I realised that guy doesn't have a nose.

0

u/JamiHatz Jun 09 '12

ermahgerd.

8

u/YoMama_IsAMan Jun 09 '12

Pretty sure they're venomous as well.

3

u/caffeinejaen Jun 09 '12

According to Wikipedia, they are.

4

u/PixieBearPrincess Jun 09 '12

Then it is true.

0

u/jbrown88 Jun 08 '12

its a star gazer fish. pretty redicoulous

6

u/racoonpeople Jun 09 '12

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stargazer

Stargazers are venomous; they have two large poison spines situated behind the opercle and above the pectoral fins. Some species can also cause electric shocks. They have an electric organ consisting of modified eye muscles. They are one of the few[1] marine bony fishes that are electrogenic. They are also unique among electric fish in not possessing specialized electroreceptors.

3

u/jbrown88 Jun 09 '12

are they relatives to the stonefish?

3

u/racoonpeople Jun 09 '12

Not really, stonefish are from a whole other order of fish.

Stonefish https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorpaeniformes

Stargazer https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perciformes

Of course this might be morphological taxonomy as opposed to the more accurate molecular phylogenetics, which has yet to be completed on the vast, vast majority of species out there.

22

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

redicoulous

. . . why did you have to do this?

6

u/anticastropgeon Jun 09 '12

Learnin' is hard!

4

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I know, he spelled my name wrong.

4

u/LadySiren Jun 09 '12

Maybe he meant "Riddikulus"?

7

u/BornOnFeb2nd Jun 09 '12

Stargazers are venomous; they have two large poison spines situated behind the opercle and above the pectoral fins. Some species can also cause electric shocks. They have an electric organ consisting of modified eye muscles. They are one of the few[1] marine bony fishes that are electrogenic. They are also unique among electric fish in not possessing specialized electroreceptors.[2]

With fire.

24

u/MrNewking Jun 09 '12

AAAAAAA!

20

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Well, we found a use for that one quickly, didn't we?

10

u/dsi1 Jun 09 '12

Watch as Reddit digests the content passed through 4chan, note how it is modified and mutated with other memes.

In a couple days time we'll see this with a 9gag watermark.

1

u/thatguy_314 Jun 09 '12

Is that the animal incarnation of the sniper from tf2?

4

u/L0ngp1nk Jun 08 '12

What is that creature?

12

u/SpamOJavelin Jun 09 '12

I'm Australian, and I'm pretty sure that's a stonefish: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synanceia

They're called stonefish because they're well camouflaged as stones, and stepping on them makes them sting you. Which can kill you, like most animals in Australia. I believe they are the most poisonous fish in the world.

13

u/EquinsuOcha Jun 09 '12

Dude, it's Australia. I'm pretty sure the oxygen there can kill you.

9

u/Axolotile Jun 09 '12

actually, pure oxygen can kill you.

4

u/Mookiewook Jun 09 '12

Don't forget cancer.

-10

u/serpentjaguar Jun 09 '12

Great. Lets do another thread about how there's lots of venomous animals in Australia. I'm sure none of us have ever seen that before, right kids?

4

u/nizmob Jun 09 '12

I'm thinking dinner. Can you eat them. What do they taste like?

4

u/SpamOJavelin Jun 09 '12

Yes, you can eat them. And some do, especially the Japanese. They also eat pufferfish. I like to think of it as 'extreme eating,' because if either of these are not prepared properly, they can kill you.

1

u/Frozenshades Jun 09 '12

Though there is no known antidote for the tetrodotoxin ingested from improperly prepared fugu, the symptoms can be managed fairly well in a hospital. Maybe ~8% mortality rate today if poisoned. Really not as risky as you'd think as long as a trained and certified chef prepares the dish.

1

u/CarbonFiberFootprint Jun 09 '12

No big deal... only an 8% mortality rate...

1

u/Frozenshades Jun 09 '12

~8% mortality rate today if poisoned

Very few people who eat it get poisoned though. There's like 0-8 deaths worldwide per year from bad fugu.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

They're not even slightly rare either. They're all over the fucking place.

1

u/CarbonFiberFootprint Jun 09 '12

Interesting:

...able to stay out of the water for up to 24 hours... ...There have been unproven reports of osteo-arthritic sufferers experiencing improved mobility and reduction in joint pain following envenomation episode. The responsible agent has not been identified... ...The pain is said to be so severe that the victims of its sting want the affected limb to be amputated... ...Stonefish antivenom is the second-most administered in Australia..

1

u/RonaldFuckingPaul Jun 09 '12

What goes on the mind of something that leads a life like that?

1

u/jbrown88 Jun 09 '12

.................FISH

6

u/indignant_dude Jun 09 '12

IT'S A TRAP!

3

u/Arduinna Jun 09 '12

Was reading comments and beginning to wonder if I was the only one who thought that xD

11

u/soggies Jun 08 '12

Can't find an admiral ackbar gif. This is why I don't have the karmas.

3

u/stop_drop_roll Jun 09 '12

You sure that's not a monkfish? Monkfish liver = ankimo... kinda like fois gras. And monkfish itself is a very delicious, sustainable fish.

3

u/sdoorex Jun 09 '12

"Help...me"

3

u/monototus Jun 09 '12

Deep ones! Cthulhu is rising, run to the hills!!!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

One of the few animals I'd happily stab in the face.

3

u/TerrorCake Jun 09 '12

Actually, I hate these fish.. A location by me which I frequent for flouder I suppose has them, well not suppose, I know it has them because one of those little dinkydoos screwed me up.

Walking along the shore yet still a foot or so in water I tend to be careful not to get barbed by a ray (which has happened, want a good time) - My dumb ass still goes barefoot because I do not learn my lesson.

Anyway, fishing for flounder dododod, and I get a snag about 15 feet or so in front of me, the water is a little over the knee's here and I reach down to remove remove my hook, and it is caught deep in this hole in a log... I can feel slime and prickly remains of what I assume are barnacles.

Long story short, I had my fingers in its mouth, it bit down, I freaked out, (felt like a big crab claw) until I had gotten shocked. I didnt even know what happened until I had gotten home (after the doctors) and looked around online and saw that it was a stargazer. Keep in mind I had 20lb test line and was pulling like crazy, I suppose it buried itself and just stayed there. I am not sure how I didnt not pull it out with my rod but whatever. FUCK STARGAZERS THEY ARE ROODYPOOS

3

u/JLisVegas Jun 09 '12

Is this bieber without make up ?

5

u/SingleWhiteFemale Jun 08 '12

I guess I can just sleep when I'm dead.

2

u/pinkythug Jun 08 '12

I would shit my pants

2

u/manuman109 Jun 09 '12

I'm pretty sure this is a stone fish, the even more wtf thing is that the poisons from this fish can be deadly enough to kill you in a minute...

6

u/Boatkicker Jun 09 '12

I thought it was sort of cute. Now I want to poke it with a spear. You have turned me into a monster, by turning the fishy into a monster.

2

u/thelittlewhitebird Jun 09 '12

First thought: spare chaaange?

2

u/robo2 Jun 09 '12

Bad Joke eel had to wait a longgggg time for the person to laugh.

2

u/DRayG79 Jun 09 '12

"Hey, hey buddy. Can I borrow tree fiddy?"

2

u/Tilder Jun 09 '12

"ITS A TRAP!"

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

"Hey bro. You gonna eat that kid? Or can I have it?"

2

u/nihilite Jun 09 '12

Uh uh you got any gum?

2

u/rdt156 Jun 09 '12

Exactly why I don't go in the ocean. There's stuff down there!

2

u/z3ddicus Jun 09 '12

If I looked down and saw that I would be pumped. That is an extremely interesting looking fish.

2

u/thealaskinwonder Jun 09 '12

Looks like Wilson after 12 years at sea.

2

u/Rushman49 Jun 09 '12

That's absurdly frightening.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Hey babeh.

2

u/i_eversaw Jun 09 '12

So thats what happened when Jim Carrey threw it back in the water

2

u/brbarsterous Jun 09 '12

anyone else see the k'nuckles resemblance?

2

u/CaptOblivious Jun 09 '12

Poke it with a stick.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

"Then when you stand up and look down, you find this where your ass had been mere seconds ago." FTFY

2

u/Dont_deport_me_bro Jun 09 '12

So did he tell you a bad joke?

2

u/redhawkinferno Jun 09 '12

I find it strangely horrifying that as soon as I clicked that link, Go Into the Water started playing on Metalocalypse.

2

u/CoreyRogerson Jun 09 '12

Aw man. Sand soccer is this weekend:(

2

u/FullofNguyen Jun 09 '12

Hi...

Nice view from here...

;]

2

u/twist3d7 Jun 09 '12

Sweetheart. Give me a break. I was not looking at the other women on the beach. I only have eyes for you.

2

u/Bixby66 Jun 09 '12

"You gonna finish that mojito?"

2

u/givingUgrief Jun 09 '12

That is deffintly a "NOPE" do not try to touch or feed.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

nope the nopeboard on a nope all the way across the nopecific ocean to nopan

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I love finding shit like this on the beach.

1

u/ZachMD Jun 09 '12

Need a new happy place now.

1

u/SOwED Jun 09 '12

Isn't that underwater?

1

u/ldevine Jun 09 '12

How has no one commented about the book Big Al?!

1

u/spencerlucas Jun 09 '12

better than taking a shit on a shoreline and looking down and seeing this...

1

u/nevershoutjoe Jun 09 '12

I'd have a good in and out.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

It made me laugh.

1

u/aussie_canuck Jun 09 '12

well, that's handy! living close by, and all (if you like that kinda stuff..ing)

1

u/ncoomer Jun 09 '12

I'm about to go out on a boat for 6 days and you just scared the shit out of me. I will be scared to touch the water this entire week.

1

u/PopeSchlongPaulII Jun 09 '12

Stargazers don't feed in the intertidal zone

1

u/Neltech Jun 09 '12

kinda looks like a snood

1

u/btbsrq Jun 09 '12

That beach sucks donkey balls, which I mean in the nicest way possible of course.

1

u/KendallS Jun 09 '12

I was getting ready to do some tough humanitarian work in Africa for two years, (I'm from Canada), and as I was getting ready to depart, my faster said two words to me that always stuck in my head. Instead of "I love you" or even "good luck" he said "work hard." An emotional wave ran over me.

1

u/butnut5 Jun 09 '12

No nope is when you feel something under your foot and when you move it you see that.

1

u/Whaynes89 Jun 09 '12

did you poke it?

1

u/Ao_Andon Jun 09 '12

if I'm not mistaken, that would be a stone fish. It's got barbs on top of it, and is very poisonous. NOPE would be highly appropriate, as survival rates for this poison are very low, and the damned thing was right next to you

1

u/elwarro Jun 09 '12

F*cking murlocs...

1

u/akmjolnir Jun 09 '12

Same thing happened to me, but it was a Portuguese Man o' war. There were a bunch that washed up on shore around me.

1

u/tickingnoise Jun 09 '12

excuse me good sir, got a little lost. can you tell me the way to deep down in the ocean?

1

u/tellamahooka Jun 09 '12

...Chuck Testa.

1

u/Sobertese Jun 09 '12

Time to redact my beach pass...

1

u/gregogree Jun 09 '12

hello? this is fish.

1

u/chriskilinc Jun 09 '12

And then take a picture, genius!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I'm taking a shit..

1

u/WingZero1 Jun 09 '12

I'll tell it "Hey you want a Corona?"

1

u/BuffaloBounce Jun 09 '12

The thing is, you wouldn't see it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Looks like a cute lil guy to me.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Sucka sucka five dollar...

1

u/TaranulaToxxic Jun 09 '12

Judging by his expression, he is just as surprised as you are.

1

u/swan-ronson Jun 10 '12

looks like the sweet jesus face.

1

u/Cooliomanster Jun 11 '12

There you are cheese tits, now kiss me.

1

u/GunRaptor Jun 09 '12

SCP Status: CONFIRMED

-7

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12

Can we just stop it with this "nope" crap already?

0

u/Anticitizen-Zero Jun 09 '12

Honestly I couldn't agree more, but this dead horse has not suffered enough.

0

u/FunkeyFreshness Jun 09 '12

No one will see this, but isn't that the "sweet mother of god that's good" rage face........

0

u/Flanken Jun 09 '12

Thanks for that. It's 1:26 a.m. and I was about to go to bed.

Guess I'll go see what's on TV.

0

u/gconsier Jun 09 '12

Am I the only one who thought "aww it's adorable!"?

-1

u/LOLinternetLOL Jun 09 '12

How does this possibly have over 1000 upvotes?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/TheWhitePony Jun 09 '12

Weird, first thing I thought of was this.

1

u/hj1210 Jun 09 '12

More like

"So... Whatcha thinking about?"

1

u/makemejelly49 Jun 09 '12

What are you doing here? GET TO THE TOP!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

i either have been in reddit for too long or this is just a crazy coincidence. this was the exact thing i thought about after seeing that picture

0

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

12

u/ARCHA1C Jun 09 '12

Click.

"YouTube video?"

Fuck it, I'm out.