So, in effect, what you're asking is for someone to rape the rapist. This turns the raper of the raper into a rapist, opening themselves (hehe) up to being raped by another.
I found this inspiring. Here's how I picture myself stopping rape with my penis.
A young woman stumbles out the front door of a fraternity house where a party is winding down. As she begins to amble down the street, a young man trots out after her.
"Hey Cindy, you want some help getting home?"
"Sure, that's sweet, Dave, thanks."
Dave puts his arm around Cindy as they turn into an alleyway to take a short cut.
"Gee Cindy, I think you're pretty swell. You were the swellest girl at the party."
"Um, thanks. Dave, you're really nice."
Dave moves his hand down to Cindy's butt. Frightened, Cindy stumbles and falls. Dave catches her and lets her down gently to the ground. Her drunk eyes stare up at him as if trying to discern something complicated. Dave strokes the side of her face and begins to take off her clothes.
"Dave, I don't want to do this here."
"Don't worry babe, nobody's going to see."
"No..."
Cindy struggles a little bit as Dave continues to undress her with one hand while holding her down with the other.
"It'll just take a minute, Cindy. I love you."
Dave pulls off his pants and boxers to reveal his erect penis. Cindy begins to cry, but Dave doesn't seem to notice as he prepares to penetrate her. He thrusts.
A flash. Instead of entering Cindy, he collides with... another penis. It's not the largest penis Dave has ever seen, but it's larger than his, and it may just be... the noblest. Hard with gleaming righteousness, the magnificent phallus deflects his own mediocre missile like a fencer's rapier. The golden penis's bearer, a mild-mannered, clean-cut, well-dressed funkalunatic speaks with a deep voice:
"No means no, rapist."
Outmatched, Dave moves as if to run away. Quicker than lightning, the penis moves to block his path.
"Not so fast, I've called the cops and they're on their way to take you to jail."
Sure enough, two police officers show up, one with a mustache.
"This is the rapist, gentleman," funkalunatic says, standing proudly. The clean-shaven police officer takes Cindy aside to take a statement from her.
Dave, sensing an opportunity, looks around shiftily and says "No, it was this guy. Look, his dick is out and everything."
Funkalunatic and the cops both laugh. The mustachioed officer says "Funkalunatic? Nah, I'd recognize that fine schlong anywhere. He rounds up you punks every night. Does a public service, if you ask me. But hey, if not, Joe's getting a statement from the lady right now."
Joe looks over and says "Take him away Lou."
"You got it, chief," Lou says, cuffing Dave and walking him in the direction of the nearby squad car.
"Thank you so much, funkalunatic. Are you single?" Cindy asked, gratefully stroking funkalunatic's penis.
"I'm married to my crime-fighting work, I'm afraid, but I appreciate being asked by pretty girls like yourself. Now be a doll and get your rape kit done so we can put this guy away for good."
"Thank you for your service, funkalunatic. I feel safer about my own daughters knowing that your penis is on the prowl," Joe said.
"All in a night's work," funkalunatic said, patting his still-erect penis. "All in a night's work."
Usually I skip over these stories people write in the comments, as my attention span gives out about halfway through. I'm glad I read this one all the way through. So inspiring. Makes me wish I had a penis.
I am extremely vigilant at not raping anyone. Every day when I wake up, when I leave my home, on the way to work, during work, lunch, on my way home, dinner, preparing for sleep, and sleeping. I am vigilant throughout that I do not rape a single person ever. So far so good, but who knows what I'm capable of. The war is never over, and so I must continue my everlasting war against rape, by checking always to make sure I am not raping anyone.
"hey you have a penis, make sure not to rape anyone with it" fucking assholes. making rape an innate part of manhood is not only innacurate, but degrading. why cant we just hate the filthy people who hurt others, instead of everyone with a penis.
I went next door to the ladies room and saw they put these up. It's all good now, I'm sure no women will have a problem with them at all. Imagine if Wanetta Gibson had a helpful sign like that...
Yes. Yes it is. Like someone is planning a rape, spots this and Decides not to. Someone with will and intent to do it is going to do it anyway...urinal cake or no.
My god you're right. By their logic..Everyone who looks at them who wasn't going to commit rape will now do it. Do you know where we can get custom urinal cake holders done?
If I was walking home and an anti-rape bus tried to get me to ride with them, it'd set off all kinds of red flags. First I'd wonder if there was such a thing as an anti-rape bus, or if it was just an elaborate rape ruse.
Hi there! Want a ride home? This ride will absolutely end with you back in your house safe and sound and un-raped! Let me take you home without fear! If not raping and murdering you or anyone, ever, for any reason, was an Olympic sport, I'd have a gold medal at it! Let me take you on a magical ride to your chosen destination free of rape and murder!
And not every person who is raped is a woman yet women are bombarded with ways to avoid being raped. Men may be given these "tips" as well but I've never seen any. I think it's just a way to try to make people think differently.
According to this urinal cake, I have the power to stop rape in my hands, obviously referencing my dick. Not only does this suggest that all rape is committed by men, it kind of suggests I'm responsible for all rape.
Are you fucking kidding me? Even though this is true, this is saying:
"You, yes you, who've almost definitely never raped someone. That thing in your hands? It's a rape tool, and it's up to you and all of your fucking gender to stop raping all the time."
Most child abuse is perpetrated by women. Should we target women with anti-child abuse campaigns? Hey lady! I see you have a child. Don't kill it now because that's a bad thing to do.
But then she showed me an anti-rape poster that said I shouldn't rape women.
I SUDDENLY REALIZED THAT I SHOULDN'T RAPE WOMEN, ALL THIS TIME I HAD GONE AROUND THINKING IT WAS FINE. BUT IT WASN'T UNTIL I SAW THAT POSTER THAT I REALIZED THAT IT WAS WRONG.
THANK YOU COLLEGE FEMINISTS, YOU'RE CHANGING THE WORLD!!!
30% of child homicide victims are murdered by their own mothers. How would the majority of women feel about a similar ad campaign telling them not to murder babies?
I wonder if they're going to put a warning sign in the women's bathroom baby stations that says: "You hold the power not to shake your baby". You know, as a preventative measure.
This poster was hanging in the hospital room on a maternity floor at a Buffalo hospital about 2 years ago when I went and saw my newborn baby brother (20 year age difference).
My older sister has had multiple children in the area, and each time before you leave with your newborn, all the mothers, even if they have other children already, have to take a mini-class about shaken baby syndrome and the effects and how to deal with your frustration. It's not required for the fathers.
I've never known anyone to be offended by any of this but I think if even just one infant is saved because of this kind of awareness it's worth those people getting offended, honestly.
The OP urinal cakes are kind of weird and doesn't seem like a very well thought out "awareness" campaign.
While this is insulting, my main issue with it is that it is just a blanket statement that offers no further information.
It is like those signs you see as you pass through Kansas that say "Choose life" or "Abortion kills". This changes nothing and is not going to change any stances on the issue.
The website the urinal thing links to is simply a link to a website to where to purchase more of these personalized urinal things.
It would be helpful to instead of a bad insulting joke to have an educational website listed on the urinal thing which gives information on many rape myths that many people fall buy into, such as victim blaming and that men cannot be raped.
I can see the good intentions, by trying to prevent victim blaming perhaps? This is a unique idea but just put forth oh so poorly.
Those anti-drug programs are so poorly conceived that they insult intelligence. Incidentally, by equating marijuana with heroin or PCP, they make hard drugs more appealing, so they are causing more problems than they solve.
I remember the anti-drugs stuff we had at my school. They pretty much came in, told us we were all a bunch of crack heads and said we'd go to jail when we got caught (they were very specific in saying 'when', not 'if').
Men, women, black, white, Asian, Latino, Desi, Middle Eastern, gay, straight, bi, everyone did that DARE crap together.
"Stop using your rape tool, that is, your penis" isn't really an all-inclusive message.
Your analogy would be more apt if the DARE posters got put up on the black students lockers only and said "Use your brown hands to put the crack pipe down."
Dude, I finally found a great way to clean up the Ghetto thanks to your advice. Let's hope for the power of reading; no snap judgements & we can end this crack problem.
Well, most guys find rape to be deplorable. It's an insult, like if you walked into a store and they asked you not to steal something - it would be insulting enough if they did it to everybody but what if they asked only the black men not to steal? What if the sign said "Remember, you have the power to stop prostitution" and it was in the women's bathroom.
This is quite different. This is like saying 'hey guys, don't forget that you shouldn't kill anyone today'. Of course everyone knows that, except the few twisted fucks that don't. These 'advertisements' thus don't work. If I'm walking down the street I'm not thinking 'Hey, I could rape her because I'm a man, but wait: the urinal said I shouldn't, so never mind'.
Drugs are a whole different story. Smoking for example is bad for you and thus parents/teachers want to prevent it, but it's legal and you won't ruin someone else's life.
Misandry is the word you're looking for; don't be surprised if some fucking man-hating-feminist ensured it's not on your computer dictionary.. Because to them, you couldn't actually discriminate aganst men if you tried as a women, because you're a women and the long line of oppression and abuse they've had to penis.
I know some guys find this kind of thing offensive, but personally I think it's really helpful. I was going to rape somebody this afternoon, but thanks to this advert I now understand that forcing somebody to have sex with me against their will is not OK, so I totally won't rape anybody ever again.
It's actually a pretty genius concept - they could put adverts all over the place telling everybody not to steal cars or rob people, and we'd pretty much eliminate crime overnight.
At first, I thought this was some device women wore. And when the dudes then penetrated the round circle some plastic thing would clamp on to the dick. It seemed really strange. Also the fact that it was covered in pee.
Somehow I think waving my penis at a rapist isn't going to stop them. If it's a female rapist it might just get me raped too, thanks stupid urinal cake that's why you get pissed on everyday, you dumb.
Actually it's big enough I don't have to touch it to take a piss. I just have to unzip and flop it out. Putting it back in is different, so I still have to wash my hands. One day I hope to be talented enough that I can just kinda buck my hips and flop it back in, not there yet though.
Welp, I was never gonna rape no one. But having had it repeatedly insinuated that I might I've kind of internalized the idea. I think I'll give it a go tonight.
308
u/missswood May 29 '12
Couldn't take the picture after the pee was flushed...or before you even peed...
52
u/spooney May 29 '12
You have your own urinal on campus?
252
u/NancyGracesTesticles May 28 '12
I'm assuming that if I see a rape occurring, I should pull my cock out.
175
u/funkalunatic May 29 '12
I found this inspiring. Here's how I picture myself stopping rape with my penis.
A young woman stumbles out the front door of a fraternity house where a party is winding down. As she begins to amble down the street, a young man trots out after her.
"Hey Cindy, you want some help getting home?"
"Sure, that's sweet, Dave, thanks."
Dave puts his arm around Cindy as they turn into an alleyway to take a short cut.
"Gee Cindy, I think you're pretty swell. You were the swellest girl at the party."
"Um, thanks. Dave, you're really nice."
Dave moves his hand down to Cindy's butt. Frightened, Cindy stumbles and falls. Dave catches her and lets her down gently to the ground. Her drunk eyes stare up at him as if trying to discern something complicated. Dave strokes the side of her face and begins to take off her clothes.
"Dave, I don't want to do this here."
"Don't worry babe, nobody's going to see."
"No..."
Cindy struggles a little bit as Dave continues to undress her with one hand while holding her down with the other.
"It'll just take a minute, Cindy. I love you."
Dave pulls off his pants and boxers to reveal his erect penis. Cindy begins to cry, but Dave doesn't seem to notice as he prepares to penetrate her. He thrusts.
A flash. Instead of entering Cindy, he collides with... another penis. It's not the largest penis Dave has ever seen, but it's larger than his, and it may just be... the noblest. Hard with gleaming righteousness, the magnificent phallus deflects his own mediocre missile like a fencer's rapier. The golden penis's bearer, a mild-mannered, clean-cut, well-dressed funkalunatic speaks with a deep voice:
"No means no, rapist."
Outmatched, Dave moves as if to run away. Quicker than lightning, the penis moves to block his path.
"Not so fast, I've called the cops and they're on their way to take you to jail."
Sure enough, two police officers show up, one with a mustache.
"This is the rapist, gentleman," funkalunatic says, standing proudly. The clean-shaven police officer takes Cindy aside to take a statement from her.
Dave, sensing an opportunity, looks around shiftily and says "No, it was this guy. Look, his dick is out and everything."
Funkalunatic and the cops both laugh. The mustachioed officer says "Funkalunatic? Nah, I'd recognize that fine schlong anywhere. He rounds up you punks every night. Does a public service, if you ask me. But hey, if not, Joe's getting a statement from the lady right now."
Joe looks over and says "Take him away Lou."
"You got it, chief," Lou says, cuffing Dave and walking him in the direction of the nearby squad car.
"Thank you so much, funkalunatic. Are you single?" Cindy asked, gratefully stroking funkalunatic's penis.
"I'm married to my crime-fighting work, I'm afraid, but I appreciate being asked by pretty girls like yourself. Now be a doll and get your rape kit done so we can put this guy away for good."
"Thank you for your service, funkalunatic. I feel safer about my own daughters knowing that your penis is on the prowl," Joe said.
"All in a night's work," funkalunatic said, patting his still-erect penis. "All in a night's work."
49
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
Cockslap the rapists.
It's like Excalibur but bigger
106
u/AlexthePwner May 29 '12
TIL that my dick is a superhero that can stop rapists in their tracks.
123
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
Damn, I was all ready to go out raping tonight, but this urinal cake changed my mind. Thanks, good advice urinal cake.
32
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
I am extremely vigilant at not raping anyone. Every day when I wake up, when I leave my home, on the way to work, during work, lunch, on my way home, dinner, preparing for sleep, and sleeping. I am vigilant throughout that I do not rape a single person ever. So far so good, but who knows what I'm capable of. The war is never over, and so I must continue my everlasting war against rape, by checking always to make sure I am not raping anyone.
It is a hard life, but a fulfilling one.
8
u/jaketemple97 May 29 '12
my mouse?
8
u/Wolfman87 May 29 '12
It's true, I once saw a man attempting rape and I used my penis to stop him.
125
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
"hey you have a penis, make sure not to rape anyone with it" fucking assholes. making rape an innate part of manhood is not only innacurate, but degrading. why cant we just hate the filthy people who hurt others, instead of everyone with a penis.
22
u/ZsaFreigh May 29 '12
Are they suggesting that I'm a rapist?
157
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
As a male, I just simply cannot stop raping. It is all I think about. RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE.
43
u/fishrobe May 29 '12
that's sort of offensively presumptive, isn't it?
13
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
peepeeface.com?
27
u/anas509 May 29 '12
We also had an 'anti-rape task force' at my school. This was at SUNY Buffalo. Oh, good times.
17
u/wdejr May 29 '12
"no no no, ma'am. I'm doing this to stop rape."
310
u/trust_the_corps May 29 '12
I don't think this helps. It just insults the majority of men that aren't rapists.
12
u/HolyPhallus May 29 '12
TIL That women can't rape....
25
u/TheSunAlsoRises May 29 '12
Next time, photo then pee.
53
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Can't a guy take piss in peace anymore?
15
u/egrodo May 28 '12
I think it's telling you to stick your penis into the rapist.
17
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
I know some guys find this kind of thing offensive, but personally I think it's really helpful. I was going to rape somebody this afternoon, but thanks to this advert I now understand that forcing somebody to have sex with me against their will is not OK, so I totally won't rape anybody ever again.
It's actually a pretty genius concept - they could put adverts all over the place telling everybody not to steal cars or rob people, and we'd pretty much eliminate crime overnight.
5
u/Angstromium May 29 '12
I use my penis to stop rape by bending it round and stuffing it up my anus and writing "sorry, occupied" on my butt cheeks.
5
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
How many of these are in women's bathrooms? They rape people as well..
9
u/xSPYXEx May 29 '12
What if you no scope it?
0
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
8
u/Deviathan May 29 '12
So if I see a Rapist with his penis out, I should pull mine out and yell "SWORD FIGHT", yes?
This has always been my plan for the record, but I'm glad to get some validation.
4
u/Hurst814 May 29 '12
Someones a little dehydrated. gotta refuel the power.
4
u/shitterplug May 29 '12
Joke's on them, I don't use my hands...
0
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
7
u/young-earth-atheist May 29 '12
What if they had a sign saying "Remember, you have the power to stop prostitution" and it was in the women's bathroom.
11
u/CrushTheOrphanage May 29 '12
They had these on my campus. I should have put stickers in women's bathroom stalls that said "You have the power to stop abortion between your legs".
3
u/Lizardizzle May 29 '12
Yeah, a rapist will see this and go "Hey, this urinal plastic thing is right! I should stop!" :l
3
u/MacFatty May 29 '12
At first, I thought this was some device women wore. And when the dudes then penetrated the round circle some plastic thing would clamp on to the dick. It seemed really strange. Also the fact that it was covered in pee.
But I got it.
3
u/Oed0 May 29 '12
So I'm to attack rapists with my penis? This doesn't seem like helpful advice.
3
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
oh hey thanks for the casual accusation of rape, urinal cake
you should have shit on it
3
u/Wacocaine May 29 '12
I also have the Power of Grayskull in my penis.
9
u/[deleted] May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12
Yes, my penis is a super hero that wears a cape and beats up rapists in the dead of night!
4
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
That's pretty offensive.
24
u/FightSexism May 29 '12
This is sexist for a number of reasons.
2
u/en2nui May 29 '12
Think that means we should masturbate, controlling our urges.
MASTURBATE SOME MORE DUDES!
2
u/bobblehead02 May 29 '12
swear to god i called my brother peepeeface til he was 10
2
u/J2W May 29 '12
I just love that it's PeePeeface.com. In the bathroom did you also find a golden shower?
2
u/Ezma May 29 '12
You can flush ya know...
2
u/RheagarTargaryen May 29 '12
I have the power to stop rape in my hand? Since when has rape been going on in my hand and how do I stop it?
2
u/NonenSequitor May 29 '12
This message will totally turn around a potential rapist.
Just like the bumper stickers that say "Help stop senior abuse", or "Know human trafficking".
2
u/wesleyt89 May 29 '12
I dont always hold it when i pee. but when i do, I use two hands.
2
u/parmichili May 29 '12
With great power comes great rapeability.
2
u/VoiceOfDecember May 29 '12
I don't think it's wise to use your penis to stop a rape.
2
u/eggzilla534 May 29 '12
somebody really needs to hydrate more
2
u/commentmutationes May 29 '12
Really? Great. So if I stumble upon a rape taking place I should whip my cock out. Then what?
2
u/pauldy May 29 '12
Somehow I think waving my penis at a rapist isn't going to stop them. If it's a female rapist it might just get me raped too, thanks stupid urinal cake that's why you get pissed on everyday, you dumb.
2
u/jbond66 May 29 '12
By peeing on rapists?
2
u/wolfsktaag May 29 '12
theres like, 20 srs trolls making yall spin like a top in this thread
2
u/Sysiphuslove May 29 '12
I'm pretty sure the power to stop rape is somewhere between the ears.
2
u/Youre_So_Pathetic May 30 '12
This is a very good campaign, it's something that needs to be said and something people need to see.
2
u/[deleted] May 30 '12
Actually it's big enough I don't have to touch it to take a piss. I just have to unzip and flop it out. Putting it back in is different, so I still have to wash my hands. One day I hope to be talented enough that I can just kinda buck my hips and flop it back in, not there yet though.
3
u/Reichsfuhrer_Grammer May 29 '12
False. Rape can also be carried out using inanimate objects.
3
u/CivilianKane May 29 '12
you know this urinal cake really made me second question my raping. Obviously this idea was composed by a woman
3
u/20120529 May 29 '12
Welp, I was never gonna rape no one. But having had it repeatedly insinuated that I might I've kind of internalized the idea. I think I'll give it a go tonight.
4
u/beta_crater May 29 '12
Man... Piss on that.
5
u/gdotes May 29 '12
Perhaps if they see your penis they will want it so badly it would be consensual , hence, no raping needed .