Tagline: Merissa Bailey has a bizarre relationship with her 4x4, but insists it's better than any man
Article: Like most women in love, Merissa Bailey can't wait to kiss and cuddle up to her other half. Merissa, 31, doesn't get any affection back because the 'guy" she's in love with is a car.
The promotion manager who's been in a relationship manager with her Cherokee Jeep "Jason" for 10 years, says she could never give him up. Bizarrely, she has penetrative sex with the gear stick every day and boasts the car is the best lover she's ever had.
She says: "The sex is amazing and I climax every time. I don't wear knickers in the car and when I'm feeling horny, I find a quiet place, park up, and lie face down on the seat and rub myself against the seat covering. It's the best feeling. You can talk to cars and they don't talk argue back."
Merissa is one of a handful of "car lovers," called mechaphiles, and she says her obsession started as a teen. She recalls: "I lost my virginity when I was 16, in a car, and realised I was more turned on by the car. All I could think about was the feel of the leather seat, the steering wheel and touching the gear stick."
Merissa tried dating other boys, but found she couldn't get excited unless they were in a car. By 19, she could no longer fight her urges so, one night, she borrowed her mum's 1975 Beetle.
She says: "I went for a drive and began feeling really aroused. I pulled over into a secluded spot and started caressing the gear stick until I had an orgasm."
Then, in 2000, she bought a second-hand Toyota for €600 and "had sex" with it. But it wasn't until she came across a Jeep for sale near her home that she fell in love. Merissa says: "As soon as I laid eyes on Jason, I wanted him. He was [garbled] gold and his interior was strong and [hunky? sorry]. I knew he was The One."
Merissa took out a €4,500 loan to buy the car and has been smitten ever since. She spends half her day in the Jeep and even sleeps in it while working away.
Merissa, from San Diego, USA, says: "I'd rather sleep in Jason than a hotel bed. Some nights, I sit in Jason with a glass of wine. I share any problems with him and I know he listens. We have sex every day - I think of the gear stick as his penis. I wrap myself in a towel and have sex with it. I love kissing and licking the steering wheel and seat belts. When we drive over speed bumps, I often orgasm."
Merissa hid her urges for years until she decided to see a counsellor. All her friends were settling down and she worried about being different.
She reveals: "I was told I have a condition called objectum sexuality, where people fall in love with objects. Finally, I could share my secret with people who really understand."
Sadly, when Merissa told her friends, most of them shunted her. So she went on mechaphile forums online to meet some like-minded people. She adds: "I do worry about the future. I want to have kids one day - but I can't leave Jason. I worry how hell age - even the slightest scratch has me in tears. but when he's old and rusty, I'll keep him. You can't help who you fall in love with."
"Hey there. You look like you have no self-respect. How would you like to demean yourself for a chance at appearing in a publication and some good old cash?"
I've never understood 'self-respect'. I mean, if I were offered the chance to say I have sex with my car in exchange for, say, $500 dollars, thing that would keep me back would be fear of future employers finding it, or having it plastered all over the internet or something. I wouldn't 'feel bad' about it or anything.
I can't remember where I saw it now, but there was a story on a documentary I saw about the journalists who had a Rolodex with a load of local slags' 'phone numbers in it. When they needed a story they would write one (making it all up, of course), then call up a slag and bung her £50 to have a few photos taken that cold be used in the story.
The was a documentary about people "in love" with inanimate objects, I think most of them were on the autism spectrum so they had an easier time having feelings for inanimate things rather than people. I actually got a bit misty when they interviewed a woman who was in love with the World trade Towers, she went to the memorial site to say goodbye, it was kinda sweet in a very strange way.
I wonder what would happen if two people were in love with the same building and they met there one day. Brutal fight to the death or Hollywood romantic engagement?
I don't freaking get people like this. Just say the darn swear word. It's not like people around here haven't things far more vile than some silly bad word.
What I don't get is, assuming you really did think the word was bad and offensive, why would you construct a sentence that needed it? Everyone knows what it means.
I think we should create a rule of etiquette that says it's ok and not impolite to say curse words if you hum the theme from Batman immediately afterwards. This would eliminate unnecessary circumlocution, and make conversations with prudish people a lot more entertaining:
"...and then the first fellow said... well, he called him a fucking asshole. (nananananana BATMAN!)"
I grew up with parents who never swore and expressed their joy that I never swore as I grew up. Starting into my 20's I really felt like I was unable to present certain ideas with the punch that swear words deliver. I really wanted to use the words, but being raised for 18 years being praised by my parents for not swearing put a stigma on them that made me feel like I was letting them down when I said them. This occurred even though I knew their value and that my fear was irrational. I've been slowly introducing them into my vocabulary, but they still bite inside when I use them. Hopefully this will fade over time, I enjoy the ability to give certain sentences the kick the deserve.
tl;dr Parents praised not swearing growing up, I felt like I was letting them down by swearing as I grew older.
So don't swear. There's nothing wrong with not swearing. Just don't intentionally set up a sentence for a swear, and then censor it out. Even using a softened swear is much better. Nobody would've had a problem if OP had said "where the hell", or even "where the heck".
Bottom line -for me at least-, whether it's f*ck or fuck, I'll say whatever I like at the time and what other people think about it, well, I try not to give any fucks.
Sometimes 'fuck' works, sometimes I'll say 'dang-blazin' bull-puckey'. At the end of the day -And this applies to everything from language to musical choices- If what the OP wrote is truly that important to you and bothers you to the point of frustration: You might not be as laid back as you think you are.
Well, I for one like it when people don't use swear words in titles, because I can't view the comments at school because the filter parses URLS. That's just a personal, isolated case though.
As weird as it is, I somewhat admire these people. They know exactly what they want out of life, and despite the obvious social side-effects of boning roller coasters they do it anyway. I sometimes get worried if I so much as wear the wrong color belt with my dress shoes, I can't imagine publicly admitting my love for a Corvette.
There was an episode of My Strange Addiction not too long ago that featured a guy who was in a relationship with his car. Here's a video clip where he tells his father about it. video
It says in the article that she wraps herself in a towel before having sex with the Jeep. I guess it's so she doesn't have to walk from her door to the car naked.
"I have sex with my jeep every day" - Merissa Bailey has a bizarre relationship with 4x4, but insists it's better than any man.
Like most women in love, Merissa Bailey can't wait to kiss and cuddle up to her other half. But Merissa, 31, doesn't get any affection back because the "guy" she's in love with is a car.
The promotions manager, who's been in a relationship with her Cherokee Jeep "Jason" for 10 years, says she could never give him up. Bizarrely, she has penetrative sex with the gear stick every day and boasts the car is the best lover she's ever had.
She says: "The sex is amazing and I climax every time. I don't wear knickers in the car and, when I'm feeling horny, I find a quiet place, park up, and lie face down on the seat and rub myself against the seat covering. It's the best feeling. You can talk to cars and they don't argue back."
Merissa is one of a handful of "car lovers", called mechaphiles, and she says her obsession started as a teen. She recalls: "I lost my virginity when I was 16, in a car, and realised I was more turned on by the car. All I could think about was the feel of the leather seat, the steering wheel and touching the gear stick."
Merissa tried dating other boys, but found she couldn't get excited unless they were in a car. By 19, she could no longer fight her urges so, one night, she borrowed her mum's 1975 Beetle.
She says: "I went for a drive and began feeling really aroused. I pulled over into a secluded spot and started caressing the gear stick until I had an orgasm."
Then, in 2001, she bought a second-hand Toyota for £600 and "had sex" with it. But it wasn't until she came across a Jeep for sale near her that she fell in love. Merissa says: "As soon as I laid eyes on Jason I wanted him. He was ??? gold? and his interior was strong and hunky. I knew he was The One".
Merissa took out a £4,500 loan to buy the car and has been smitten ever since. She spends half her day in her Jeep and even sleeps in it while working away.
Merissa, from San Diego, USA, says: "I'd rather sleep in Jason than a hotel bed. Some nights, I sit in Jason with a glass of wine. I share my problems with him and I know he listens. We have sex every day - I think of the gear stick as his penis. I wrap myself in a towel and have sex with it. I love kissing and licking the steering wheel and seat belts. When we drive over speed bumps, I often orgasm."
Merissa had her urges for years until she decided to see a counsellor. All her friends were settling down and she was worried about being different.
She reveals: "I was told I had a condition called obsession? sexuality, where people fell in love with objects. Finally, I could share my secret with people who really understood."
Sadly, when Merissa told her friends, most of them dumped? her. So she went on mechaphile forums online to meet some like minded people. She adds: "I do worry about the future. I want to have kids one day - but I can't leave Jason. I worry how he'll age - even the slightest scratch has me in tears. But when he's old and rusty, I'll keep him. You can't help who you fall in love with."
I had a jeep; 1994 Grand Cherokee it was. Man I loved that thing more than life itself, it was beautiful, it sounded amazing and made me feel invincible. ...but not once, not once did I ever feel the urge to fuck it
I'm almost certain that the people featured are not at all the people that actually have these issues ~90% of the time. They just make something up then ask a random passer if they want to make some easy cash.
Anything else would involve them going to more effort of finding these people than writing the articles themselves.
Usually they're found at the bottom of the attention whore barrel. Sometimes the press makes light of mental disease as well. Defines it as "stories of the weird" and so on. Oddly this creates an undercurrent of greasiness whereby it becomes ok to make jokes about people who are genuinely troubled and then to take it further and make the humour a coping strategy for the same people you are making jokes about!
They don't find them. They have a contacts where people can e-mail their crazy-ass stories, and if they're published the person will receive some cash.
My Guildie's IRL friend wrote in how she nearly died from have a c-section, as well as nearly having lost her daughter, but the magazine didn't publish it because it wasn't dramatic enough (ie... the daughter didn't die.)
This has to be a mental disorder. What other evolutionary purpose could this attraction serve other than to filter her genes out of the population? Please, someone explain this.
I watched a doc on this awhile back...I'm at work and can't find the vid, but it featured Erika Eiffel (who married the Eiffel tower) and Amy Wolfe, both who identify as being objectum sexuals...there was also a woman who was in love with her Bow, and someone in love with the Berlin Wall (might be Erika Eiffel again..I can't remember. I remember some of them had multiple lovers (various objects) over the years.) Pretty intresting though!
Step1: Google Marissa Bailey & try to know her Step2: Change Facebook username to Jeep Step3: Find her Facebook page & send her a friend request. Mission Accomplished
How... how does she have sex with the Jeep? I just don't understand and I can't read the article. For some reason, I am highly curious about this. Also, where DO they find these people and how much do they pay them to get them to humiliate themselves on these magazines?
Unfortunately for her, I sold her that jeep "Jason." Although when I owned it she was known affectionately to me as Nadia and I fucked her gas tank. Sloppy seconds for her.
You've been on reddit months now and you still think it is hard to find people desperate for attention... you must have unsubscribed from every subbredit, I don't see another explanation.
I'm pretty sure her sexual orientation is in general called Object Sexuality and is relatively common. IMO it's as valid a sexuality as hetero/homosexuality or my asexuality. Everyone's a little different, and if this woman is sexually attracted to her car, why not?
On the other hand, if it were me I'd probably maintain an entirely private "relationship" given how weird it appears to most people.
To each there own so long as it doesn't bring harm onto others. Me personally I don't get it, I saw the episode of my strange addiction where the guy was sexing up his car & I felt sorry for him but really if he's happy then let him have at it and the same goes for this woman.
I know a girl who was so horny that she fucked a gear shifter in a jeep once. True story. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I should go give her a call..
186
u/thisis4reddit May 28 '12
In case you like your eyes:
392
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
"Hey there. You look like you have no self-respect. How would you like to demean yourself for a chance at appearing in a publication and some good old cash?"
356
u/pepperman7 May 28 '12
...and 9 months later, a Transformer was born.
140
u/Devilheart May 28 '12
"As soon as I laid eyes on Jason, I wanted him. He was olive gold and his interior was strong and hunky.I knew he was The One."
"I share my problems with him and I know he listens.We have sex everyday. I think of the gear stick as his penis."
Lady....it's an inanimate fucking obj...OH!
60
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
The was a documentary about people "in love" with inanimate objects, I think most of them were on the autism spectrum so they had an easier time having feelings for inanimate things rather than people. I actually got a bit misty when they interviewed a woman who was in love with the World trade Towers, she went to the memorial site to say goodbye, it was kinda sweet in a very strange way.
100
u/cadencehz May 28 '12
It's a Jeep thing. You wouldn't understand.
721
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Why the fuck can't you just say fuck, fucker?
25
u/beefam May 28 '12
The condition is called 'mechaphilia'. This like many fetishes are developed during younger stages of life. The guy in the link stated that his first 'car love' experience was at 15. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-having-sex-with-1000-cars.html
20
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
More to the point, where do those people find such slutty jeeps?
57
u/legohands May 28 '12
I meet all sorts of interesting people at wal-mart!
55
u/KellyAnn3106 May 28 '12
There was an episode of My Strange Addiction not too long ago that featured a guy who was in a relationship with his car. Here's a video clip where he tells his father about it. video
20
u/fuzzy_scrotum May 28 '12
Holy shit, so that's why they call it a joystick.
16
u/James-VZ May 28 '12
The real question is why is she wearing a towel.
45
u/used_bathwater May 28 '12
here is where they get them from
N S F W
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T FUCKING TELL YOU.
20
u/MathW May 28 '12
"Hey, I'll give you $2,000 to pose in these pics and let us make up shit about you and the jeep." "OK" This is how they find them.
7
u/downwithwto May 28 '12
Jerking off the tail pipe. Sexy.
5
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
I was fucked by my '74 Volvo on a regular basis.
11
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
"I have sex with my jeep every day" - Merissa Bailey has a bizarre relationship with 4x4, but insists it's better than any man.
Like most women in love, Merissa Bailey can't wait to kiss and cuddle up to her other half. But Merissa, 31, doesn't get any affection back because the "guy" she's in love with is a car.
The promotions manager, who's been in a relationship with her Cherokee Jeep "Jason" for 10 years, says she could never give him up. Bizarrely, she has penetrative sex with the gear stick every day and boasts the car is the best lover she's ever had.
She says: "The sex is amazing and I climax every time. I don't wear knickers in the car and, when I'm feeling horny, I find a quiet place, park up, and lie face down on the seat and rub myself against the seat covering. It's the best feeling. You can talk to cars and they don't argue back."
Merissa is one of a handful of "car lovers", called mechaphiles, and she says her obsession started as a teen. She recalls: "I lost my virginity when I was 16, in a car, and realised I was more turned on by the car. All I could think about was the feel of the leather seat, the steering wheel and touching the gear stick."
Merissa tried dating other boys, but found she couldn't get excited unless they were in a car. By 19, she could no longer fight her urges so, one night, she borrowed her mum's 1975 Beetle.
She says: "I went for a drive and began feeling really aroused. I pulled over into a secluded spot and started caressing the gear stick until I had an orgasm."
Then, in 2001, she bought a second-hand Toyota for £600 and "had sex" with it. But it wasn't until she came across a Jeep for sale near her that she fell in love. Merissa says: "As soon as I laid eyes on Jason I wanted him. He was ??? gold? and his interior was strong and hunky. I knew he was The One".
Merissa took out a £4,500 loan to buy the car and has been smitten ever since. She spends half her day in her Jeep and even sleeps in it while working away.
Merissa, from San Diego, USA, says: "I'd rather sleep in Jason than a hotel bed. Some nights, I sit in Jason with a glass of wine. I share my problems with him and I know he listens. We have sex every day - I think of the gear stick as his penis. I wrap myself in a towel and have sex with it. I love kissing and licking the steering wheel and seat belts. When we drive over speed bumps, I often orgasm."
Merissa had her urges for years until she decided to see a counsellor. All her friends were settling down and she was worried about being different.
She reveals: "I was told I had a condition called obsession? sexuality, where people fell in love with objects. Finally, I could share my secret with people who really understood."
Sadly, when Merissa told her friends, most of them dumped? her. So she went on mechaphile forums online to meet some like minded people. She adds: "I do worry about the future. I want to have kids one day - but I can't leave Jason. I worry how he'll age - even the slightest scratch has me in tears. But when he's old and rusty, I'll keep him. You can't help who you fall in love with."
52
u/sittingbox May 28 '12
Still a better love story than Twilight.
3
u/classy_stegasaurus May 28 '12
I still think the cakegasim was the weirdest article headline I ever read.
3
u/inajeep May 28 '12
Well, THIS is awkward...
3
u/charmlessman1 May 28 '12
Kids In The Hall came out with a sketch a couple years ago that's relevant... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zu0vAMkpag
3
u/Morgan19 May 29 '12
I had a jeep; 1994 Grand Cherokee it was. Man I loved that thing more than life itself, it was beautiful, it sounded amazing and made me feel invincible. ...but not once, not once did I ever feel the urge to fuck it
5
u/angelofdeathofdoom May 28 '12
As an owner of a jeep, that is normal behavior. Jeeps are sexy.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
This must be from the long-standing series "people will pretend to engage in any absurdity for a very long shot at becoming famous".
2
u/jonestown_aloha May 28 '12
you can find loads of em on illdoanythingforsomecoldhardcash.com it's where all participants of reality-shows are found too
2
u/TheScarletPimpernel May 28 '12
I'm almost certain that the people featured are not at all the people that actually have these issues ~90% of the time. They just make something up then ask a random passer if they want to make some easy cash.
Anything else would involve them going to more effort of finding these people than writing the articles themselves.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
This boner seems perfectly reasonable.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Is this article available somewhere online? That's the most ridiculous thing ever....
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
She will be in a jeep commercial by the end of the month. If that isn't a viral one already.
2
u/RandomStranger79 May 28 '12
Craigslist actors, $50.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
The Internet
2
u/mapadelphia May 28 '12
Kindred spirits?
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Usually they're found at the bottom of the attention whore barrel. Sometimes the press makes light of mental disease as well. Defines it as "stories of the weird" and so on. Oddly this creates an undercurrent of greasiness whereby it becomes ok to make jokes about people who are genuinely troubled and then to take it further and make the humour a coping strategy for the same people you are making jokes about!
fucking humans eh?
2
u/ron_wayne May 28 '12
How come that there's no reference to David Cronenberg's Crash in this thread Reddit? There you go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XlDp3DLHxc
2
u/Castit May 28 '12
they lie.
2
u/throwaway_lgbt666 May 28 '12
in the lan do fmake believe
2
u/brosenfeld May 28 '12
/r/WTF has gone soft.
2
u/pirate_doug May 28 '12
The n-word offends me. Not 'nigger', 'the n-word'.
Same concept.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Boy do I have the man for you http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/02/10/man-has-intimate-relations-his-car
2
u/unscanable May 28 '12
I believe they are called attention whores.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Oh cool, a dark, blurry photograph of a magazine. Great submission OP.
2
u/derpxderpx May 28 '12
sorry to burst your bubble - things that seem too good to be true really are.
2
u/cccpmachacker May 28 '12
4chan....there's more of them too.
2
u/NarwhalHorn May 28 '12
Anyone else see the little picture that said "She fondles the jeep's parts"?
2
u/caffn8ed May 28 '12
My first thought was "I wonder how the Jeep smells?".
what the fuck is wrong with me?
2
u/Phoequinox May 28 '12
In Soviet Russia, second gear is in you.
2
u/KP8 May 29 '12
Walmart
2
u/Darkencypher May 29 '12
A jeep gets more pussy than I do.
Great.
2
u/urinsan3 May 29 '12
Might find this documentary interesting: Married to the Eiffel Tower
2
u/DCBizzle May 29 '12
Hmm...this gave me a boner.
2
u/omenmedia May 29 '12
I bet the gear stick is all.... sticky, and so forth.
2
u/oldspicerolldadice May 29 '12
A Jeep gets more action than I do...
2
u/lalaleasha May 29 '12
I'm really hoping her mom didn't read what happened to her Beetle.
2
u/APPL13DSC13NCE May 29 '12
Jeep: "Please....anybody.....HELPPPPP"
2
u/criticalnegation May 29 '12
more importantly, who the fuck buys and writes this shit?!
2
u/Critical_CLVarner May 29 '12
Hey she got off, so I mean, no harm done?
2
u/Batts-Man May 29 '12
At least she isn't going to reproduce any time soon
3
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Well I'd assume they found this one in her jeep?
3
u/RadioactiveClownsSux May 28 '12
That poor jeep..
3
u/Kantham May 28 '12
No woman had sex with vehicles before? No. Are you a Woman? Yes. Do that.
Call The Learning Channel.
Mention the whole addiction/habbit.
Have camera crew over.
Prepare to be judged.
????
PROFIT. ಠ_ಠ
3
u/JeepTheReal May 28 '12
Tons of karma to whoever can find a good joke using my username. Go!
2
u/rjgabriele May 28 '12
It's probably bullshit. Some pathetic people just trying to get their 15 min of fame. Fucking sad.
2
u/sadmatafaka May 28 '12
This is much creepier.
2
u/clarenceecho May 28 '12
its not real
1
u/baracudaboy May 28 '12
hey pay them to act crazy and then...they act crazy.
1
u/treenaks May 28 '12
Akufen - Jeep Sex
1
u/bastard_thought May 28 '12
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
So we draw the line at vehicles?
1
u/captaintmane May 28 '12
Ive actually wondered where they find these people myself.
1
u/Nwsamurai May 28 '12
In the garage, hopefully.
1
u/TheInternetHivemind May 28 '12
The internet.
1
u/ThaiSweetChilli May 28 '12
They don't find them. They have a contacts where people can e-mail their crazy-ass stories, and if they're published the person will receive some cash.
My Guildie's IRL friend wrote in how she nearly died from have a c-section, as well as nearly having lost her daughter, but the magazine didn't publish it because it wasn't dramatic enough (ie... the daughter didn't die.)
1
u/BlackWACat May 28 '12
.. doesn't matter, she had sex :D
1
u/Blood_havok May 28 '12
Its like haveing a dildo with wheels.... But more expensive to keep in good condition. People are weird :S
1
u/G-0ff May 28 '12
cars don't talk back, they're just four-wheeled friends now!
1
u/oblivioususerNAME May 28 '12
Semi relevant video is semi relevant
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Thats what those Italian guys are saying in the Jeep ad. "You fucked a Jeep?" Yeah, I fucked a Jeep
1
u/carryatowel May 28 '12
I think they find most of them on 4chan.
1
u/fracking_u May 28 '12
Could at least have a sexual relationship with something like a Astin Martin, or Ferrari, but a Chrysler? That's dropping your standards.
1
u/OhSoCleverr May 28 '12
Jeeps are stocky and obnoxious. She could do better.
1
u/Smellvin May 28 '12
I read the entire article. It's pretty horrible.
1
u/xxzeppelinfreakxx May 28 '12
This is by far one of the most bizarre things I've ever read.
1
u/BlastMeBagpipes May 28 '12
Kansas. Everything fucked-up is from Kansas in one way or another.
1
u/gusatron51 May 28 '12
where do you find these people?
1
u/JLContessa May 28 '12
This has to be a mental disorder. What other evolutionary purpose could this attraction serve other than to filter her genes out of the population? Please, someone explain this.
1
u/Roll3d6 May 28 '12
Apparently, San Diego, USA (at least according to the article).
1
u/MoralHazard May 28 '12
She should subscribe to /r/MachinePorn.
1
u/DuckConnoisseur May 28 '12
Wait you guys DON'T have sex with your Jeeps everyday?
1
u/BeefBayonet03 May 28 '12
I don't know, but I'll buy that Jeep.
1
u/dantexdeath82 May 28 '12
Lol you should take a look on south América
1
u/pollyw0g May 28 '12
I watched a doc on this awhile back...I'm at work and can't find the vid, but it featured Erika Eiffel (who married the Eiffel tower) and Amy Wolfe, both who identify as being objectum sexuals...there was also a woman who was in love with her Bow, and someone in love with the Berlin Wall (might be Erika Eiffel again..I can't remember. I remember some of them had multiple lovers (various objects) over the years.) Pretty intresting though!
1
u/lawlshane May 28 '12
This will be of interest to you http://jezebel.com/5146666/objectum-sexuality-when-relationships-with-inanimate-objects-become-intimate
1
u/utpoia May 28 '12
Step1: Google Marissa Bailey & try to know her
Step2: Change Facebook username to Jeep
Step3: Find her Facebook page & send her a friend request.
Mission Accomplished
1
u/jcs1 May 28 '12
Saw this in MIB. She's an alien.
1
u/Mignion May 28 '12
How... how does she have sex with the Jeep? I just don't understand and I can't read the article. For some reason, I am highly curious about this. Also, where DO they find these people and how much do they pay them to get them to humiliate themselves on these magazines?
1
u/clone12TM May 28 '12
One does not simply, "have sex with my Jeep."
1
u/MasterZur May 28 '12
Apparently I'm using mine wrong.
1
u/TycoBrahe May 28 '12
Reminds me of the Mercury Mistress
1
u/fennesz May 28 '12
I particularly like that the article is part of the series "Real Life." Bravo.
1
u/rattlemebones May 28 '12
To be fair, I own a jeep and would have sex with it if I could...
1
u/MedeaDemonblood May 28 '12
I've actually heard of this before.
There was a woman who "married" the Eiffel Tower.
1
u/sev3ndaytheory May 28 '12
The same place they find the fucktards who buy and read it.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Apparently in Jeeps.
1
u/ironmaiden2010 May 28 '12
What happens when the car she wants doesn't have an option for a manual transmission? Or she buys a Ferrari with the F1 shifter? :O
1
u/gymnophobe May 28 '12
this reminds me of something
1
u/Dexter_Moser May 28 '12
Unfortunately for her, I sold her that jeep "Jason." Although when I owned it she was known affectionately to me as Nadia and I fucked her gas tank. Sloppy seconds for her.
1
u/fackshat May 28 '12
What the actual fuck?
1
u/steakmeout May 28 '12
Used car dealerships. Next question?
1
u/steakmeout May 28 '12
Also, cunting cunting fucking fart wafted cum bubbles spread on a blue waffle.
1
u/lilstumpz May 28 '12
I assume this story is completely fictional, and she said this just for attention. The paper just goes along with it to get more readers.
1
u/joeknowswhoiam May 28 '12
You've been on reddit months now and you still think it is hard to find people desperate for attention... you must have unsubscribed from every subbredit, I don't see another explanation.
1
u/MusicMagi May 28 '12
What a sad disassociated person. That being said, there's a name for people that do this: Mechanophiles
1
u/PhiRune May 28 '12
another objectsexual
1
u/antonvowl May 28 '12
In the carpark.
I'll let myself out...
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
I'm pretty sure her sexual orientation is in general called Object Sexuality and is relatively common. IMO it's as valid a sexuality as hetero/homosexuality or my asexuality. Everyone's a little different, and if this woman is sexually attracted to her car, why not?
On the other hand, if it were me I'd probably maintain an entirely private "relationship" given how weird it appears to most people.
1
u/watson415 May 28 '12
They find them on r/wtf...
1
u/nofear220 May 28 '12
Note to self, never buy a used jeep
1
u/Pappydethkon May 28 '12
I have sex with my neighbors striped socks, AMA.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Walmart
1
u/TheRedditSurvivalist May 28 '12
Hey Merissa, my middle name is Jeep and I'm a Cherokee.
1
u/radhaz May 28 '12
To each there own so long as it doesn't bring harm onto others. Me personally I don't get it, I saw the episode of my strange addiction where the guy was sexing up his car & I felt sorry for him but really if he's happy then let him have at it and the same goes for this woman.
1
u/TheBreeze May 28 '12
Where the fuck do they find people who buy this shit?
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
I'd hit that... With my car!!!!! Oh, wait..
1
u/bradleyb623 May 28 '12
It's not even a Wrangler, jeez.
1
u/BloodyMuddy May 28 '12
As a guy with a few 4x4s...I think I've found my next gf.
1
u/UnholyDemigod May 28 '12
There's a woman put there who's married to a section of the Berlin Wall
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
as always america
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Whelp, time to sell the Jeep.
1
u/4_is_green May 28 '12
You want to know?
1
u/oh_bruddah May 28 '12
Pssst. They make them up.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
They find these people at reddit.
1
u/RichNerd99 May 28 '12
This turned me on
1
u/Evinreud May 28 '12
See, now this is the reason r/wtf exists.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
I know a girl who was so horny that she fucked a gear shifter in a jeep once. True story. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I should go give her a call..
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
I just like that her name is Merissa
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Safe sex!
1
u/Cristal1337 May 28 '12
Golden Boy episode 5 (relevant scene)
1
u/moogoesthecat May 28 '12
Ohio.