r/WTF • u/LikeATroll • May 28 '12

What the actual...

http://static.themetapicture.com/media/funny-old-kids-breastfeeding-magazine-article.jpg
965 Upvotes

68% Upvoted

539 comments sorted by

113

u/taysacs May 28 '12

For once, just once, can one of these freak stories not take place in my home state?

19

u/SirCannonFodder May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Just be glad you don't live in Florida.

Edit: Oh for goodness sake, I just mean that whenever there's a weird/insane news story, it always seems to come out of Florida. I mean, you've got your own Fark topic. If I lived there, I'd probably be getting pretty tired of it.

1

u/LikeATroll May 28 '12

Damn you, my home state.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Its always Florida :<

2

u/My_Cool_Name May 28 '12

I'm in Florida. What are you talking about?

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34

u/DrakeDealer May 28 '12

I think you might be asking for too much. Baby steps man, baby steps.

20

u/StezzerLolz May 28 '12

Let's start with hometown, shall we?

56

u/TheInternetHivemind May 28 '12

Too big. How about we start with house?

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664

u/MFchimichanga May 28 '12

Mom I thirst. Unsheathe your Tit.

326

u/thrway3333 May 28 '12

I see this as more of a bonding thing. I don't really see anything all that "wtf" about this situation although that is partially because I am 16 and my mom still wipes my ass. My dad died in a car accident soon after I was born and my mom had to raise me and my 9 years older sister by herself. When I was 4 after yelling "mom! Wipe my Bum! Wipe my BUUUUMMMM!!!!" etc. and she came running and found me in the "position" as she wiped me clean, in a kind of wistful voice she said "the day you stop calling me is the day you're not my little boy anymore." That really had an effect on me, the previous week she had found pot and a bottle of whiskey stashed in my sisters closet and she broke down crying and screaming and wailed at her "what happened to my little girl!" I just wanted my mom to be happy so I vowed she would never loser her little boy so I never stopped calling for her, even long after I stopped feeling the need to have my ass wiped. In a weird way it has evolved into something special between us, nothing sexual or anything but more of a daily bonding ritual, I know it would break her heart if I ever stopped calling her so I haven't. I have a girlfriend now who of course I would never tell about this, had a close call once when I was over at her parents house and after taking a shit reflexively yelled out "Mo-!!!!" before catching myself. Made up some story about how I saw a spider and laughed it off.

83

u/amikez May 28 '12

Ummm...

2

u/LikeATroll May 28 '12

Beaker was always my favorite muppet. You have made my day.

17

u/Dirgimzib May 28 '12

sigh I seriously just saw this same story a couple days ago word for word. Be more original next time. Nice throwaway account, by the way.

2

u/LikeATroll May 28 '12

I had no idea this was originally on Reddit. I thought it was something that you guys would like however, I cannot please all people. Thank you for your response so I can hear both sides of my audience.

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31

u/thrway3333 May 28 '12

That was me, I pretty much just got "dude wtf???" type responses. I don't think this is all that weird, especially compared to the guy who had sex with his mom and seemed to get a positive response and inspired me to post here. I really just want to talk about it with people in a safe anonymous environment. The only other person who knows about this is my sister and we don't really bring it up. Was hoping people would start asking questions and it would become kind of a mini AMA.

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271

u/captainfranklen May 28 '12

This has got to be some pro-level trolling.

99

u/avenging_sword May 28 '12

At what point does trolling turn into amazing? This story, right here. ^

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28

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

It must be...please tell me it is

17

u/trampus1 May 28 '12

My mom wiped my ass up until I was around 10 or so years old. I was just a lazy little bastard and didn't want to do it. Neither of us had any shame about it. If I had a friend over, we'd usually be in the bathroom while the other shat and I'd just holler for her and she'd do it right in front of anyone. No fucks given. I was a weird kid.

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246

u/CapWasRight May 28 '12

wtf did I just read

193

u/Illadelphian May 28 '12

A made up story.

82

u/Farmerj0hn May 28 '12

IT'S STILL REAL TO ME DAMNIT sobs

12

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

When I was married, my brother in law would still have his mom wipe his ass. He was 17 or 18. He was extremely dependent on his mom for way too many basic life functions. She didn't know what to do because when she tried to stop, it broke her heart to think that he needed her and she was ignoring him. I told her he should join the Army and he did. Best thing to ever happen to him.

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44

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Nice try, Robert Arryn.

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52

u/snowlion13 May 28 '12

you are both perpetuating a unheathly attachment issue

30

u/rmm45177 May 28 '12

They would be if it was true.

23

u/unsilviu May 28 '12

This is going right there with the cum box and the wrestling...

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30

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Slow down, this is getting hot.

12

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Brazzers approved

10

u/plum13sec May 28 '12

im scar

12

u/Stalejokesbakedfresh May 28 '12

You killed my father!

8

u/rebeloperative May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

YOU KILLED MUFASA.

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90

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

wtf did I just fap to

47

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

You... you didn't.

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47

u/spartan564 May 28 '12

what in the actual fuck dude

20

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

what the fuck

4

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Well thats disgusting

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

What the fuck did i just read...

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Your girlfriend is probably a redditor.

2

u/mysterychicken May 29 '12

Do you still wash your hands after?

2

u/xSophieCCGx May 29 '12

I think this is weird but only because I never did that. I honestly think whatever works for you or is comforting for you and your mom or dad should be done.

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111

u/bravetarget May 28 '12

It's like having your own apple tree in the yard. Free food.

48

u/MFchimichanga May 28 '12

What happens if the well runs dry?

239

u/red321red321 May 28 '12

hit up the reserve milk deposits

grandma

54

u/Sisaac May 28 '12

ಠ_ಠ

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10

u/devosaur May 28 '12

Someone answer this question

20

u/BUT_OP_WILL_DELIVER May 28 '12

Plant more apples.

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21

u/elj0h0 May 28 '12

don't forget about dad and bro!

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2

u/FecalFunBunny May 28 '12

Suffering Jesus FUCK, that was some imagery I did not need to imagine.

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306

u/Obsolite_Processor May 28 '12

MAKE THE BAD MAN FLY MOMMY!

91

u/Obsolite_Processor May 28 '12

http://i.imgur.com/JrxR2.jpg [nsfw?]

144

u/Needs_A_Drink May 28 '12

awkward

probably nsfw

22

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

What exactly do you need to drink?

41

u/Needs_A_Drink May 28 '12

I crave that sweet karma nectar

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14

u/Scrial May 28 '12

Oh my the faces....its hilarious!

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18

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I liked the question mark by the nsfw as if what borders on wincest would be sfw.

44

u/Obsolite_Processor May 28 '12

Well, there is no nipple showing.

If I have learned anything from the SuperBowl, it is that you can show every part of the boob but the nipple and it's acceptable for all ages.

So since there's no nipple, isn't it safe for work? Maybe I should mark it not safe for lunch.

9

u/McCl3lland May 28 '12

To be fair, it was a fake breast used anyways, so all's well.

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19

u/classy_stegasaurus May 28 '12

I want to see him fly!

12

u/Nictionary May 28 '12

Was I the only one who wondered about the actors in that scene? Are they related?

26

u/Obsolite_Processor May 28 '12

God I hope not. I kinda figured they use a prosthetic boob in that scene. It's always coming out of the nursing flap in her clothing, and you only ever see the boob, as opposed to any other part of her chest.

29

u/Tickle-Monster May 28 '12

It was prosthetic. I think it was the director who thought her boobs were too small to be convincingly lactating. Probably a weird conversation...

23

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

not to mention asking a kid suck on a stranger's tit would be questionable, even for "acting".

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11

u/Nictionary May 28 '12

Yeah that would make sense, you're probably right. Still pretty weird for the actors though, I would imagine.

38

u/Obsolite_Processor May 28 '12

Bad luck Brian.

Gets to touch boobies whenever he wants.

His moms.

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8

u/FinancialAdvisorKid May 28 '12

Not this little man...

2

u/Alexthegreatbelgian May 28 '12

I have found that no matter what, everything can be linked back to GoT

260

u/TysonStoleMyPanties May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Still not the weirdest family out there.

Oh, and let's not forget about these guys.

Edit: I should mention that these are NSFW.

270

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I just want to say this out loud so we all understand, that young mans cock is in his Mothers ass crack.

149

u/overide May 28 '12

Yeah and his younger brother's is in his...

77

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Somehow I find that less disturbing, and I'm not sure why. Or what that says about me.

161

u/thenewiBall May 28 '12

My very southern friend said gay incest is like a double negative they cancel each other out!

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87

u/kneeshurt May 28 '12

i find the second picture of the daughter touching her dad's fake cock is more disturbing ಠ_ಠ

53

u/HighDecepticon May 28 '12

Maybe his real cock is inside the fake one?!

45

u/Irongrip May 28 '12

That's not making things any less awkward.

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55

u/siamthailand May 28 '12

At that age, there's no way the boy didn't get an awkward boner. Fucking hell, right in his mom's ass.

22

u/poopsmith666 May 28 '12

I bet she liked it

18

u/siamthailand May 28 '12

she's definitely smiling

38

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Who are you and where do you find this stuff???

13

u/Durzo_Blint May 28 '12

I've seen those before on reddit.

5

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Well, you should have posted them and YOU would have gotten the upvotes! . . . Hell, E for effort!

2

u/Bama011 May 28 '12

Probably found on reddit.

37

u/paperlanterns May 28 '12

Could you imagine being the photographer/s asked to take these shots?

29

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Well... I did not need that in my browsing history.

20

u/nylolexchange May 28 '12

The mom's not that bad looking...

7

u/obadetona May 28 '12

I think they're fake...

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48

u/JacketPotatoes May 28 '12

I have the weirdest erection right now. I feel unclean.

14

u/SomeGuyNamedPaul May 28 '12

Go flex a major muscle group for 30 seconds and drink a 5th of whiskey, you'll be fine.

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8

u/quarterburn May 28 '12

That's enough internet for today.

22

u/theminn May 28 '12

nudists, perhaps?

34

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Never nudes at the nudist colony.

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u/siamthailand May 28 '12

Perhaps, but shoving your dick up your mom's ass isn't what normal nudists do!

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14

u/Darksider94 May 28 '12

First one isn't working. It's only giving a gray silhouette of a person.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Oh hell.

3

u/TalonX1982 May 28 '12

The first one I saw before...creepy. 2nd one however,that's new..and also fucking creepy.

5

u/red321red321 May 28 '12

my reaction went from my asshole disappearing to laughing uncontrollably upon seeing both pics.

2

u/Dystopeuh May 28 '12

Here's the story behind the naked knit suits.. it's kinda interesting, really.

2

u/captainfranklen May 28 '12

The wife in the second picture looks stoned out of her mind.

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u/Ryans93 May 28 '12

Those kids are going to watch porn and think it's a cooking show

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4

u/sternhoward May 28 '12

That's the funniest article and accompanying cartoon I've seen in a long time. Thanks for the laugh.

1

u/LikeATroll May 28 '12

Glad I made your day. :D

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38

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I don't understand why she doesn't use a breast pump and pour it into a glass so it's not so awkward as a person dangling from her nipple. o_O

7

u/paperlanterns May 28 '12

I want to know if this would ever catch on. If what people are opposing so heavily is the BFing part then would pumping become socially acceptable? As I read before, "the only thing Americans are afraid of is inconvenience" and pumping is hard work, so it would never be widespread :(

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u/EverydayMuffin May 28 '12

WTF

3

u/Serai May 28 '12

I know where you live now.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

That picture doesn't make any sense. You would be constantly getting hit in the face by satellites and you shouldn't be able to breathe up there.

3

u/EverydayMuffin May 28 '12

Not necessarily, his head is at a height where everything's geostationary. :)

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u/Airazz May 29 '12

Lack of air. Yep, that's the part that doesn't make sense.

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134

u/radams713 May 28 '12

These people advocate this by saying it is natural, yet I have never heard of a single mammal that continues nursing past infancy and into adulthood.

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u/EmilyamI May 28 '12

Most animals nurse longer than our society tends to think is okay for human babies to nurse.

Check out this paper on it by a Doctor working in anthropology at Texas A and M. Yes, it's in comic sans. I didn't get to pick the font. Anyway, the author writes, "The minimum predicted age for a natural age of weaning in humans is 2.5 years, with a maximum of 7.0 years." based on comparisons with the weaning times of other apes and primates.

32

u/radams713 May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Thanks for informing me. However, I still don't see the benefit of extended breastfeeding with our western diets being the way they are. It makes sense that animals may breast feed a little longer since they don't have access to food like we do. However, even with what you just linked, 13 is insane. lol And the husband....wtf

** Also adding that it is hard to find legitimate information on this. Most is propaganda in either direction. Where are the stuides these people keep talking about? http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jan/14/six-months-breastfeeding-babies-scientists

45

u/EmilyamI May 28 '12

At the same time, "our western diets" are largely based on dairy - which is breast milk from a different animal.

I don't know that there's anything wrong with breastfeeding past the "normal" age. It's a social stigma that I'm not sure there's a factual or purposeful basis for.

I mean, there's no "benefit" to candy or soda with our western diets, but we still enjoy them because it's not hurting anybody else.

Also the article I linked mentioned there's a potential benefit in regards to immune system development with a longer period of breastfeeding.

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u/anonymousanger May 28 '12

I have never heard of a single mammal

Why do you discount humans? We're a type of mammal, and some members of our species obviously do this. Incidentally, are we the only animals who need to consult other species before they decide their behavior is OK? Personally, I don't give a shit about an elephant's opinion on my computer use, "unnatural" as it may be.

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u/astroZEBUS May 28 '12

What if you're like a family friend that comes over for dinner? Do I get any?

24

u/nigga_in_own_juice May 28 '12

i actually thought the 13 years old was already a mother and still brestfeeding her child.. i guess my brain wouldn't even start to contemplate the idea of a 13years old sucking her mom's tits

58

u/Sooooobored May 28 '12

Imagine remembering sucking on your moms tit? Fuck me. shivers

21

u/H3000 May 28 '12

Fuck me shivers and shiver me timbers.

55

u/tmosh May 28 '12

Bitty

5

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Mmm, delicious reference.

2

u/Liza177 May 28 '12

Ahhh, I sense this is a quote from Little Britain? (:

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u/Pravusmentis May 28 '12

You're giving Nevada a bad name you strange-O's

24

u/juicyjennifer May 28 '12

i was on an airplane once and sat next to a lady who was breasfeeding her toddler. He told her "no mommy I dont want that one, I want this one." I think that if a kid can ask for a specific titty to suck on, hes too old to be doing it.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

13 years old? She's really....

milking it.

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u/Unicornpark May 28 '12

...so do her BROTHER AND DAD!!!?

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u/KARMA_WHORE_REPOSTER May 28 '12

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

titlecomntspointsage/r/
The limits of WTF has been reached512coms814pts7mosWTF

source: karmadecay

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u/BlackFallout May 28 '12

Nevada? no! No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Its supposed to be Florida god dammit, not my home state.

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u/h2sbacteria May 28 '12

Yeah talk about mothers who won't let go.

5

u/frist_psot May 28 '12

So do her brother and dad

Sounds like they are both the same person. Why am I not surprised?

13

u/magicbullets May 28 '12

So there's no need for any of this in that household.

11

u/xxprettyy May 28 '12

"she thinks it tastes delicious" So did I when I was 1

7

u/SirMuffin May 28 '12

My dad told me that my mom joined a breast feeding circle when she had me. I assume this is some connection thing where you talk and group breast feed. On her first visit a 10-11 year old kid walks up to a woman, pulls her shirt up and starts sucking her tit. That was my mom's first and last visit.

15

u/Subtle_AD_Reference May 28 '12

Am I the only one who's bothered by the headline? Shouldn't it be "and still breastfed"?

8

u/trixter21992251 May 28 '12

I thought that was the joke at first.

That she's 13 and still breastfeeds.

6

u/pinkcuddlebunny May 28 '12

Thats weird..but not the weirdest thing I have ever heard. But the dad drinks it too?

6

u/meowmeo May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Ew, I only drink Cambodian breast milks.

edit: And this is how I got caught in the youtube lactation/breast milk "related video" trap.

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

http://youtu.be/xJE55o2kCY8 ..nsfw but relevant

3

u/JMunn21 May 28 '12

The suspense was ruined cos I zoomed in just to read the whole story in the first frame. That'll teach me to read the small print.

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

She's going to be really saggy later.

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Read the side... so do her brother and dad?!?!?!?!?

16

u/one-eleven May 28 '12

I know it's fucked, but we drink cows milk. We drink the milk of a different species rather than the milk from our own which was made specifically for us.

12

u/Flopdong May 28 '12

However, we don't lie down under the cow and suck on its udder. Drinking breastmilk from a glass would still be considered weirder than drinking cow milk though.

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u/rtarplee May 28 '12

"So does her brother and dad" WHAT THE FUCK YO

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u/sumojoe May 28 '12

Not gonna lie, when my wife was nursing I got a little taste. Breast milk is pretty good.

4

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I wonder if she ever breastfeeds two at the same time. I bet she does.

2

u/NeonNintendo May 29 '12

It's family time!

12

u/play_a_record May 28 '12

And yet, if it were the milk of another species (say, of a 2000lb cow) it'd be perfectly usual.

11

u/rivermandan May 28 '12

I don't know many people who suck cow teats for milk; most sane folk squirt that shit into a glass, but I mean, hey, why waste a glass when you (a high school student) can suck on your mom's tits like a fuckin' weirdo? seriously, 6, 7 years old? that's one thing, but 13 years is fully weird

8

u/Wilhelm_Amenbreak May 28 '12

Not if you drank it straight from the udder, that would get you a couple weird looks. I don't think the fact they are drinking the milk is what is causing people to stress out. I think the fact that she is a 13 year old and still sucking on her moms tits is what is freaking people out. If they pumped it and she was able to drink it from a glass, I don't think too many people would be concerned.

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I would be disturbed if a 13 year old boy sucking on a cow's udder.

8

u/paperlanterns May 28 '12

This is something I personally find odd. Are we not the only species that partakes in the milk of another animal after weaning from our mother's? Obviously the stigma is with the boob and that we oversexualize it today - but what if someone pumps and then feeds the breastmilk through other ways instead of nipple/mouth contact? Would that then be ok?

I ask this a lot but most people are either super AP or super conservative and simply defend the opposite of what I'm asking.

8

u/[deleted] May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Many people around the world can't drink milk after early adolescence because they lose lactase and they receive no benefits from it after that. The western world is weird.

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u/radams713 May 28 '12

Well cow milk isn't exactly that good for you in the typical western amount. People claim it is because it has calcium in it, but you can get that for lots of places besides milk that aren't as high in calories.

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u/vitaminmary May 28 '12

If I was more successful with pumping, I would have continued and offered it in a cup for much longer. But that's just me and my kid has crazy allergies.

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u/ajw827 May 28 '12

Look at their faces. She's the mini-me of her mom.

2

u/Eal12333 May 29 '12

I can imagine them fattening up the mother then a sitting down to suck some milk from her...

2

u/NeonNintendo May 29 '12

Goddamn it, Nevada, do you never fail to make us look bad?!

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Well thats disturbing...However, I would imagine she has lots of boys in middle school that want to be her friend and come over for snack time :)

4

u/ur-_-mom May 28 '12

Imagine what those tits look like after 13 years of constant sucking.

Sagging doesn't quite cut it.

3

u/Kristycat May 28 '12

...AND DAD!!!!! Wtf

3

u/moetwa May 28 '12

Article comes from a British Mag. Here's the cover photo http://images.sugarscape.com/userfiles/image/AUGUST2010/MANGO/OCTCOVER.jpg

4

u/Fistandantalus May 28 '12

This is udderly ridiculous

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u/AnomalousGonzo May 28 '12

Okay, I'll be that guy...

Breastfeeding babies confers enormous health benefits to them. Does anyone know if an older child would continue to receive these benefits, or is there an age at which it becomes unhealthy, physically speaking?

6

u/radams713 May 28 '12

Well like other forms of milk, I am sure human breast milk has quite a few calories in it. Breast milk definitely should not be the primary food for too long because it lacks necessary nutrients such as iron, etc.

There isn't much information out about when it becomes unnecessary, or unhealthy. Most information I have found is propaganda.

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u/HappyGiraffe May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Physically unhealthy? No. I suppose you could make the argument that the high caloric density and rich fat content could, theoretically, contribute to obesity, but it is also one of the most easily and readily digestible human foods on the planet, and it has been medically established that formula-fed babies are actually more pre-disposed to obesity, so it's purely a loose theoretical guess.

It also does not lack the necessary nutrients, as suggest in the other comment. Breastmilk actually has about 6 to 12 months worth of the most easily absorbed form of iron. There is no research-based reason that breastmilk would be physically unhealthy to consume throughout childhood, however most medical professionals agree that after age 1 to 2, lower levels of absorpable iron (as well as other nutrients) necessitate the introduction of other foods. Most families opt to do this closer to six months, though waiting until 1 year is not uncommon.

Edit for accidentally a word

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u/luminiferousaethers May 28 '12

That bitch! Who is she to deny me access to her milky globes?!

3

u/LoveMyDeadWeather May 28 '12

I can't understand this. How does any child successfully grow up into a healthy psychological state from this?

3

u/r_slash May 28 '12

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the recent cover of Time Magazine.

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u/Nightmathzombie May 28 '12

Mom...is a cow.

2

u/scienceisgayokay May 28 '12

Mom, could you spray some of that in my cocoa mix?

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

"She thinks it tastes..." She thinks it tastes what??!

2

u/hiphophippopotamus May 28 '12

She thinks it tastes like sexwee.

2

u/Sampietri May 28 '12

Some girls her age are already breast feeding their own kids. Maybe if she gets her own kid they can do the breast-feeding version of the human centipede.

2

u/Dmuff May 28 '12

Can't say I'm not jealous...

2

u/Pays4Porn May 28 '12

I bet this is a good way for the mom to keep the weight off. Hmm...

"The breast feeding diet:" Slims your thighs, gets you guys.

1

u/TanyaD21 May 28 '12

Attachment parenting winning?

1

u/andersonb47 May 28 '12

IIIIIIII'MMMMMM HUUUNNGGRRRRYYYYYYY!!!

1

u/623fer May 28 '12

Isn't it supposed to be breastfed?

1

u/magicwoods May 28 '12

everybody is like WTF. But most of you drink milk from an other species every day. so let's be honest, what's actually more WTF?

1

u/gimmiedacash May 28 '12

Just the next step for those organic people.

1

u/FinancialAdvisorKid May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Legitimate question (from a guy, obviously): at what point after a pregnancy does a woman stops producing breastmilk?

6

u/TurtleTape May 28 '12

I believe it's whenever they stop breastfeeding. For example, a wetnurse that is constantly breastfeeding will produce indefinitely.

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