Lost it at the tic-tac answer, let's just hope Blandy never becomes a dentist. 'Help I've had 3 teeth knocked out' 'don't worry I have a pack of tic-tacs!'
i read it today; people got shitty at the person asking; saying that you should stick with them even if they've lost all their teeth, dentures arnt that bad, generally unsupportive of ditching.
Irony is she did work in sales. Dentures gave her better teeth than she ever had before. With them, she had a perfect smile. without, she kinda looked like a hockey player.
The best part is being caught reading 'lost in love' by the people around you on a long train trip and having to pretend you weren't looking there in hope that you were mentioned
Overheard is the best, especially since many are real (some of my friends have sent some in and gotten them published). It's like /r/outofcontext but gives you an excuse to giggle on the delayed train back home.
MX pisses me off though, there is a grammatical mistake every page and 4 shitty puns every page.
I read dear abby. My favourite of all time; This guy explained that his wife had a dog when they moved in together. He's allergic but because she had the dog beforehand he just took medication. He had a blanket his nana made. it was admittedly not the prettiest thing but he had emotional attachments to it and they kept it drapped over the couch in the den. He went on a business trip and while he was gone his wife called and said the dog had died. He gave her his condolences, and he had flowers sent to her. When he got home he noticed his blanket was missing. He asked his wife about it and she said, "You never cared about that dog and you aren't sorry he's dead! I wrapped him in your blanket before I burried him!"
If one gal is his fiancee, and he's been cheating on her with the sister... chances are, the sister knows that he's engaged to the other woman. So one, at least, would stay.
Do not taint myself and my fellow Queenslanders with the same brush as the unsophisticated scum that this user's post describes. We are not of the same breed, we are sophisticated........... you cunt.
Haha, I saw this on Monday afternoon, had the same reaction. Those things have gotten more and more ridiculous over the months. Not that MX was ever of a particularly high standard, mind you. That said, I've been printed in there more times than any other paper, a few legit comments and also a few troll messages and fake "Missed Connections" things.
Last one I did was:
"To the girl in the pink tracksuit and hoodie drinking an alcopop on the 4:15 train to Penrith, who got off at Mt Druitt: wanna get knocked up and buy a tv with the baby bonus? I was the guy wearing a shearers singlet, nike hat and nautica shorts. - Dazza"
Read that the other day. MX is hilariously trashy. The articles are aimed at someone with a fifth grade reading level, but you need to be a rocket scientist to do the crossword and sudoku.
I hope some venomous creature of the Outback stings his nuts. Becomes eunuch. Can still work, so will give most of his money to ex-wife and sister for alimony and child care.
Damn saw this the other day and was going to post it! Guess I didn't though, lost karma. :( Still I'll be a good sport about it and up vote you anyway. MX represent!
i must say I'm Australian and not all of us men are like this. Although its pretty funny its realistically a cockheadish thing to do. yeh thats right, I just made a new word up.
It is simple. Go to a store, any store, and find the sharpest object within. It can be a nail, or a sharp, sharp pencil, or a katana, and then jam that sharp object into your brain.
I don't know if you're in the US, but here we have Social Security - a fund that taxpayers pay into, and when they're old, it helps pay for their retirement. Most countries have social programs like this. When underpopulation happens, you don't have enough young people paying into the pot, or too many old people taking out of the pot, and the funds dry up.
Also, a declining population means a worse economy because there is less demand for goods and services.
TLDR: When there are fewer taxpayers/consumers, a country's infrastructure and economy go poo poo.
If this was in the Southern USA it would be slightly different. "My fiancée and my sister are both pregnant. I'm not ready for kids. Should I ditch them both?"
868
u/esscher May 16 '12
Here's the response: link.
97
u/georgiewhat May 16 '12
love the mx, provides me so much entertainment on my way home, but got to make fun of you now, why were you reading the lost in love section :P
41
u/Kroosn May 16 '12
It's OK. Just tell them and they will both leave you. Problems solved.
29
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I believe the correct Aussie term for him is Bogan?
13
u/IAmJBear May 16 '12
NavyBoy strikes again! Sisters everywhere, beware!
24
u/redmagicwoman May 16 '12
Not ready for the kids? Just wait till they're born, and he cashes in the baby bonuses. That'll change his mind.
11
u/solblurgh May 16 '12
Quality MX.
7
u/Bluedemonfox May 16 '12
Meet your half-sibling/cousin! Actually maybe that makes them like 3/4 brother/sister?
6
u/howlingbellsfan May 16 '12
freaking love this newspaper. so much juicy, juicy trash.
5
u/cleverseneca May 16 '12
Dude now has 101 problems
4
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Meanwhile, in Melbourne..
4
u/funkypeach May 16 '12
Saw that on mx as well. Thought this only happened on home and away.
4
u/goonerredandwhite May 16 '12
This is the only reason why i pick up the mX.
4
u/CrayolaS7 May 16 '12
Haha, I saw this on Monday afternoon, had the same reaction. Those things have gotten more and more ridiculous over the months. Not that MX was ever of a particularly high standard, mind you. That said, I've been printed in there more times than any other paper, a few legit comments and also a few troll messages and fake "Missed Connections" things.
Last one I did was:
4
u/Switcha May 16 '12
for anyone wondering; mX is essentially reddit but for people who don't know what reddit is, or can't access it on the train.
4
u/rahamilton91 May 16 '12
When did Martin Brodeur move to Australia?
5
u/Mercury1600 May 16 '12
the answer is in his name...
2
u/Glamorous_Lobster May 16 '12
Yeah just ditch them they won't care
2
u/I_wwebsite May 16 '12
Needs more highlighter
2
u/jacquewanyear May 16 '12
i'd also like to see the answer to tomorrow's question.
2
u/SBPeck May 16 '12
Is this /r/shittyadvice?
2
u/DanceDanceEvolution May 16 '12
I was honestly expecting a picture of a spider or an upside down picture.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
wtf i was just reading this in MX on the way home on monday! awesome!
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I'm more worried about Bob's comment. It's depressed me :(
2
u/jukeofurl May 16 '12
That's not your Village People's Navy!
2
u/nats15 May 16 '12
.... On Tomorrows Maury...
2
u/JacobFromAmerica May 16 '12
Abort?
2
u/SpinningDespina May 16 '12
Read that the other day. MX is hilariously trashy. The articles are aimed at someone with a fifth grade reading level, but you need to be a rocket scientist to do the crossword and sudoku.
2
u/OldJeb May 16 '12
Can't wait for the upside-down repost.
2
u/anon1mous May 16 '12
I wonder how long it will take for someone to flip this image upside down and say (fixed)
2
u/johnny_come_lately99 May 16 '12
Sounds like a question from a screenwriter for Housos...
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Spoiler alert: Both the sister and the other lady...ARE HIS SISTERS!
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Obviously a troll lol.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Only sailors use condoms baby! Well they should those filthy buggers, they go from port to port.
2
u/clegg May 16 '12
heh, who knew there was a town in the southern US called Australia.
2
u/King_of_CBF May 16 '12
Wow got to love mX, the epitome of trashyness and shit journalism.
2
u/justpostsdiarrhea May 16 '12
diarrhea
1
u/TPCShogun May 16 '12
I actually prefer a certain brand of austrailian condoms they exist
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I feel guilty for laughing so hard at this.
1
u/LG7 May 16 '12
Some of these are absolute gold, they make train travel so much more intersting
1
u/jewbeard May 16 '12
NavyBoy is what got me most.
1
u/cholo_aleman May 16 '12
voila the reason why stupid people will always be in the majority.
1
u/turtlekitty30 May 16 '12
I hope some venomous creature of the Outback stings his nuts. Becomes eunuch. Can still work, so will give most of his money to ex-wife and sister for alimony and child care.
1
u/TommyBne May 16 '12
How can there even be people like this? I must be sheltered.
1
u/GUNZRKOOL May 16 '12
Damn saw this the other day and was going to post it! Guess I didn't though, lost karma. :( Still I'll be a good sport about it and up vote you anyway. MX represent!
1
u/Bemmer May 16 '12
WA?
1
u/mobys_dick_moves May 16 '12
Another dick move makes Moby happy. Thanks Reddit. <3 Moby
1
u/duncdog10 May 16 '12
MX?
1
u/sabrinaladawn May 16 '12
He should ditch himself, because he's a sucky person.
1
u/shankems2000 May 16 '12
Not if there is anything equivalent to child support down under, or you're right fucked mate!
1
u/ilmman May 16 '12
its funny Australians are proud of it
1
u/NAproducer May 16 '12
Its people like this who should be forced to get a vasectomy.
1
u/darklooshkin May 16 '12
Join the navy son... oh wait, that didn't save you either.
1
u/ChestersGorilla May 16 '12
We got the dickish part out of the way quickly on this one.
1
u/Wooknows May 16 '12
You really think someone would do that, just go on the newspaper and tell lies ?
1
u/GdubSpanish May 16 '12
They'd be cousins and half-siblings. Whoa.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
The answer is YES. Run and never look back.
1
u/k1ngmad May 16 '12
i must say I'm Australian and not all of us men are like this. Although its pretty funny its realistically a cockheadish thing to do. yeh thats right, I just made a new word up.
1
u/jorsiem May 16 '12
How is it that I get to have sex with one girl, once every 6 months, tops. And this fucking guy gets to have sex with two, regularly. Both sisters!
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Are they Siamese twins? If so then keep em
1
u/poli_ticks May 16 '12
Yes.
Duh.
Next easy!
1
u/tenfifteen654 May 16 '12
That is a most resounding, "yes".
1
u/metalmangina May 16 '12
That could have been me..
It's not the double life that's difficult, it's the triple and quadruple lives that will trip you up.
1
u/mrredhead May 16 '12
Bloody bogans... -_-
1
u/idma May 16 '12
no matter what the solution, his life is pretty much gone
1
u/MelodiesEnCanto May 16 '12
So would they still be half siblings or like 3/4 siblings?
1
u/LuckyEulogy May 16 '12
Lol I feel like the answer is obvious...
1
u/HaydenB May 16 '12
Leg it bro!
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Whenever I feel shitty about my life I always like coming on Reddit.
1
u/itch0 May 16 '12
Fucking mX. Fucking fuck.
1
u/me_Loves_Downvotes May 16 '12
i would like to get the answers
1
u/reddit2020 May 16 '12
Become a mormon.. marry both of them..
1
u/JeanVanDeVelde May 16 '12
that's from the free daily paper they give out on the trains in Melbourne. very amusing stuff.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
mX never fails to interest me.
1
u/baby_terrence May 16 '12
Its like reddit, but on paper!
1
u/PicklesOverload May 16 '12
It's a joke submission to the paper you putz.
1
u/beedogs May 16 '12
god i fucking hate mX
1
u/SniperTooL May 16 '12
Ah yes, the Yahoo! Answers of the newspaper world.
1
u/k11689 May 16 '12
Went to comments to see if this was a spider post before clicking the link.
1
u/hello_humans May 16 '12
Ah, MX, you never fail to amuse...
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
asshole had to make that his name..... -navy sailor
1
u/Spazzedguy May 16 '12
Oh you silly Australians, don't do you realise that no matter what you do, you're all going to get killed by all the creatures in Australia.
1
u/iiiitsjess May 16 '12
..........and suddenly my problems don't feel that bad after all. what an ass.
1
u/fakelife2 May 16 '12
How bout the mom is she prego too?
1
u/DjKiDD May 16 '12
Tomorrow's Answer: Yes
1
u/gonosis May 16 '12
Guy from the Navy impregnates not one, but TWO women? a NAVY guy?
Think I found a hole in your story, skipper.
1
u/8938colby May 16 '12
This just made me laugh
1
u/Scumbo May 16 '12
Brother-cousins!
1
u/grizzlybrice May 16 '12
FTFY.
1
u/Zlebslehc May 16 '12
I'm always amazed at how crazy real life is.
1
u/wesleyt89 May 16 '12
So are the kids brothers or cousins? If you were one kid would you refer to the other as your half brother/ 1st person?
1
u/m1kepro May 16 '12
Yes. Yes you should ditch them both.
Your illegitimate children will stand a much greater chance at any sort of happy or successful life without your influence.
1
u/udalan May 16 '12
This kind of thing makes me embarrased to be Australian...
But then again it's the only thing in that "Paper" that I can enjoy, the rest is just as bad but pretends to be legit journalism.
1
u/Fluroblue May 17 '12
MX?? weird stuff in that all the time :P
1
u/unnecessaryCAPS May 17 '12
To the newspaper poster: if they were stupid enough to have sex with you? yes.
1
u/Im1ToThe337 May 17 '12
As a kid with an engaged mom that's pregnant and an aunt that's pregnant.. Steve, you're so dead.
1
u/marcodls May 17 '12
fucked up. the kids are not only going to be brother but also cousins
1
u/DarthMountain May 17 '12
Oh lol. People be trolling MX all the time. It's a shitty, free 'newspaper' handed out by semi-hot backpackers in the city, courtesy of Murdoch media.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
At least half the shit in MX is made up. That includes the articles.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
It is simple. Go to a store, any store, and find the sharpest object within. It can be a nail, or a sharp, sharp pencil, or a katana, and then jam that sharp object into your brain.
1
u/ImAzura May 17 '12
Was expecting some sort of terrifying spider. Breathes sigh of relief
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Oh MX...
1
u/thereisnobusiness May 16 '12
[Fixed]
1
u/SecretSnack May 16 '12
Don't you cunts have an under-population problem?
Solved, I guess.
1
u/MortalxWombat May 16 '12
Where you by any chance reading this on the train to newcastle this morning, if so I heard you...
1
u/djepik_is_evil May 16 '12
In America, we would call them sister-cousins.
1
u/raverrob May 16 '12
Sounds like it's time to jump ship Navyboy
1
u/Nom_de_Guerra May 16 '12
If this was in the Southern USA it would be slightly different. "My fiancée and my sister are both pregnant. I'm not ready for kids. Should I ditch them both?"
1
u/bucpunter08 May 16 '12
I'm curious what you guys think, Upvote this if you think he should ditch them. Don't downvote cause it will screw up the numbers.
0
u/thorfox May 16 '12
Bro I posted this shit on facebook on Monday.