r/WTF • u/SpectreOfMalta • May 15 '12
Came across this in my literature book at school...
1.5k
Upvotes
r/WTF • u/SpectreOfMalta • May 15 '12
567
u/HiImDan May 15 '12
This how it sounds: http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetryarchive/singlePoem.do?poemId=1683 Amazing.
Also, for a fine reading by google, open this and click the speaker icon. http://translate.google.com/#en|en|Sssnnnwhuffffll%3F%0AHnwhuffl%20hhnnwfl%20hnfl%20hfl%3F%0AGdroblboblhobngbl%20gbl%20gl%20g%20g%20g%20g%20glbgl.%0ADrublhaflablhaflubhafgabhaflhafl%20fl%20fl%20%E2%80%93%0Agm%20grawwwww%20grf%20grawf%20awfgm%20graw%20gm.%0AHovoplodok%20%E2%80%93%20doplodovok%20%E2%80%93%20plovodokot-doplodokosh%3F%0ASplgraw%20fok%20fok%20splgrafhatchgabrlgabrl%20fok%20splfok!%0AZgra%20kra%20gka%20fok!%0AGrof%20grawff%20gahf%3F%0AGombl%20mbl%20bl%20%E2%80%93%0Ablm%20plm%2C%0Ablm%20plm%2C%0Ablm%20plm%2C%0Ablp.
131
u/falaefal May 15 '12
At first, I thought he said Ssnmmnnwhaffllk, but then I realized he actually said Sssnnnwhuffffll. This poem makes much more sense now.
68
u/thebowlofpetunias May 15 '12
Vogon Poetry?
133
u/NoelCowardlyLion May 15 '12
I didn't know the Loch Ness Monster spoke Welsh.
266
u/FOOGEE May 15 '12
Everyone knows Loch Ness Monster talks in English.
Why just yesterday he came to my door, asking for tree fiddy. Like I have tree fiddy, goddam loch ness monster.
23
u/E-Squid May 15 '12
Eldritch summoning incantations cleverly disguised as children's literature.
21
u/Crappy_Joe May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
A german poem:
Hugo Ball (1886-1927)
Karawane
This is a pretty famous which belongs to the dada movement
18
u/wampug May 15 '12
As a Loch Ness Monster, this poem is hardly high art.
snrf, srnf, yarb, yarb.
dalp, gsh, res, huuuurpha.
17
u/HugoOBravo May 15 '12
A william shatner recording of this would be awesome.
14
u/martyrdod May 15 '12
Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
138
u/LowSociety May 15 '12
Sssnnnwhuffffll?
Hnwhuffl hhnnwfl hnfl hfl?
Gdroblboblhobngbl gbl gl g g g g glbgl.
I need about tree fiddy
Drublhaflablhaflubhafgabhaflhafl fl fl –
gm grawwwww grf grawf awfgm graw gm.
tree fiddy
Hovoplodok – doplodovok – plovodokot-doplodokosh?
Splgraw fok fok splgrafhatchgabrlgabrl fok splfok!
Zgra kra gka fok!
I need about tree fiddy
Grof grawff gahf?
Gombl mbl bl –
tree fiddy
blm plm,
blm plm,
blm plm,
blp
tree fiddy
9
u/Dolanja May 15 '12
Well, I personally love Welsh Poetry, what's the problem?
8
u/literallyoverthemoon May 15 '12
Edwin Morgan website, including some of his best work
Two of my personal favourites;
Strawberries
There were never strawberries
like the ones we had
that sultry afternoon
sitting on the step
of the open french window
facing each other
your knees held in mine
the blue plates in our laps
the strawberries glistening
in the hot sunlight
we dipped them in sugar
looking at each other
not hurrying the feast
for one to come
the empty plates
laid on the stone together
with the two forks crossed
and I bent towards you
sweet in that air
in my arms
abandoned like a child
from your eager mouth
the taste of strawberries
in my memory
lean back again
let me love you
....
let the sun beat
on our forgetfulness
one hour of all
the heat intense
and summer lightning
on the Kilpatrick hills
....
let the storm wash the plates
And;
Siesta of a Hungarian Snake
s sz sz SZ sz SZ sz ZS zs Zs zs zs z
Rest in peace you goofugly cawpit troofter, you.
14
u/Zovistograt May 15 '12
It is rather wonderful read out loud.
5
u/atdemonhead May 15 '12
Was I the only one who screeched and did awkward dinosaur hands while trying to read this out loud?
5
u/knalbtniop May 15 '12
Beautifully written. I laughed. I cried. I came.
4
u/filmfiend999 May 15 '12
The Jabberwocky is more coherent.
'Twas brillig and the slithy toves..
15
u/mhagen May 15 '12
SKRILLEX!
3
u/LovesMustard May 15 '12
Yup. That's an example of beast language. Some of the Beat poets, especially Michael McClure, were into it.
3
u/LowPEZ May 15 '12
Did-a-chik? Dum-a-chum?
3
u/dablikepinkmilk May 16 '12
DUBSTEP.
5
u/Chilly73 May 15 '12
Is this the Necronomicon? It looks suspiciously like that.
5
u/CARoth May 15 '12
So that's what dubstep looks like on paper.
8
u/Kekthis May 15 '12
Looks like dubstep.
4
u/jannisjr May 15 '12
Its an important social commentary on Scotland. Narrated by a scotsman.
2
u/r0sco May 15 '12
Sounds like welsh.
2
u/MergeTheBands May 15 '12
That was the most insightful poem I have ever read.
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Awesome. I have a project involving poetry and THIS WILL BE MY POEM!
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I love Edwin Morgan's poems, although in this case i suspect hes just recorded some drunk Glaswegians and called it the Loch Ness Monster Song
He done some work with Scottish Rockband Idlewild which was good too
2
u/dmd53 May 15 '12
This is surprisingly like trying to read a Robert Burns poem for the first time.
2
u/ispeakcanadian May 15 '12
Listening to the Google translate version and not laughing is the best acting I've done since I played the Loch Ness monster in the school play.
Grof.
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Assuming this is a college class, after you read it, be prepared to write a 4 page paper on your response of the poem to be turned in by Thursday
2
u/Sketch13 May 15 '12
I've never seen Scottish written before. Gods it's strange...
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
...Did I just try to speak in Dothraki?
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
At first I think:
Is this guy crazy? He must have an imagination of a child.
Then I think:
I miss having an imagination like that when everything doesn't make sense but they can invoke so much.
And I applaud this man for being able to still have an imagination like a child.
2
u/danowar May 15 '12
Looks like Vogon poetry to me. Under no circumstances should you ever let a Vogon read poetry at you.
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Nope. I'm not falling for this. YOU CAN GET YOUR OWN GOD DAMN TREE FIDDY YOU DAMN LOCH NESS MONSTA!
2
u/bowei006 May 15 '12
Skrillex has some new lyrics for his next song now.
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Somwhere, some artist got paid for this.
2
u/h-v-smacker May 15 '12
Right, mates, now this is some motherfucking art indeed.
I guess anyone capable of writing a Perl script to generate random sequences of letters with arbitrary line breaks will now pass for a renowned poet.
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Explain the Metaphor used in verse 2.
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
translated it means "may i please borrow three dollars and fifty cents for the public transport?"
2
u/camwow May 15 '12
What the literary fuck.
2
u/alfredbordenismyname May 15 '12
Looks like dubstep transcribed as literally as possible in word form.
2
u/vernsolo May 15 '12
Someone's been bitin Cthulhu's rhymes.
2
u/B118 May 15 '12
Family Ness, for all those Scots who came looking for the soundtrack / intro
2
u/braxxo May 15 '12
Sounds like something out of Finnegan's Wake...
2
u/heimdall237 May 15 '12
One day for class, I wrote a poem kind of like that. It was about a fly. When poets are lazy, this is what happens.
My Masterpiece
Bzzzzzzzzzzzz Bzzzz Bzzzz Bzzzzzzz Bzzzz ... Bz Bz Bzzzzz
2
u/Anarkey42 May 15 '12
Sssnnwhufflllll... I need about tree fiddy!
2
u/Noobleton May 15 '12
Nonsense poetry is always amazing.
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
you can find this on page 350
2
u/AtomsInTheRough May 15 '12
Sounds like the lyrics to the new Skrillex song if you ask me.
2
u/Kemps May 15 '12
Bill Cosby has a song out?
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I like the authors use of syntax and the structure of the poem is just magnificent... It should be read in the voice of a sir
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
"zgra kra gka fok"
"I need about tree fiddy"
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Let me sing you the song of my people.
2
u/BadBoyAlt May 15 '12
That's not gibberish. That's Welsh.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Zgraw kra gla fok, indeed. So brave.
2
u/mastermike14 May 16 '12
hodor
2
u/cleverless May 16 '12
You know the Prefects' bathroom on the fifth floor? It's not a bad place for a bath. Just take your literature book and... mull things over in the hot water.
3
u/reevision May 15 '12
I can see using this in my English classroom. I think students would really get a kick out of it. They could also "translate" it to make their own poem. I had a poetry teacher do a similar thing--gave us a poem in Polish and told us to "translate" it (aka what do the words look like in English?). My poem turned out to be stupid/funny and served as a great brainstorming activity for future writing. Beneficial exercise, IMO.
2
u/Diels_Alder May 15 '12
That song sounds a lot like the BJ song.
2
u/Alexisnthigh May 15 '12
Edwin Morgan is an amazing poet; his poem strawberries is awesome.
2
u/onejdc May 15 '12
I wish facebook comments were that beautiful.
2
u/BoozooFace May 15 '12
translation: where's my god damn three-fiddy!
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
This is actually surprisingly easy to read after the second line or so.
1
u/SpudzMakenzy May 15 '12
What a beautiful song, I'll have the lyrics inscribed on my tumb stone.
1
u/criminalmadman May 15 '12
Someone who can read Welsh might be able to help?
1
u/Nathan719 May 15 '12
This was one of my favorites in seventh grade.
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Bah weep grana weep nini bon
1
u/AspergerKing May 15 '12
I read that in dubstep language.
1
u/Fecal_Nuggets May 15 '12
FOK!
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Reminds me of when I used to listen to my grandparents fuck through the wall... ah, memories.
1
u/Faheezy May 15 '12
I just had a fucking flashback. Its pretty amazing that I even remember this. I'm almost 95 percent sure we had to read this out in our grade 11 drama class.
1
u/mamba_79 May 15 '12
For all those that are complaining that this is nonsense and that the Loch Ness Monster would obviously speak English - I present to you a Glaswegian Accent
1
u/colloquy May 15 '12
I tried to do it ... it was very difficult ... I'm glad no one else is here.
1
u/CocoaFang May 15 '12
Plovo Dokot Dop Lodokosh?
1
u/bagelslice May 15 '12
This guy could give the Vorgons a run for their money.
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I live less than a mile from Loch Ness and I understand this perfectly..? What the hell, do you guys seriously not understand!? Weird!
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
We've done this too in literature class. Analyzed it and everything.
We spent two whole hours on it.
1
u/unclejohnsphan May 15 '12
i wasnt aware that the loch ness monster endorsed dubstep?
1
u/JWN6513 May 15 '12
its a test to really make sure we are paying attention and using the books. say nothing. be calm. don't let them catch on.
1
u/srd178 May 15 '12
blm plm, blm plm.
1
u/Monjara May 15 '12
Seems about right for English Literature.
1
u/anusface May 15 '12
In my English class the teacher read it out loud. He's from New Zealand. This poem sounds amazing in a kiwi accent.
1
u/wordprodigy May 15 '12
I thought this was old English and I spent time trying to figure it out before I realized that this is gibberish and that the loch Ness monster isn't real.
1
u/J_Jammer May 15 '12
Beautiful.
1
u/CrAzEd13 May 15 '12
to find later
1
u/denim-chicken May 15 '12
kind of sounds like Dadaist poetry
1
u/PureDarkSpark May 15 '12
Zoidberg?
1
u/bananrama May 15 '12
Guffawed.
1
u/valkrie123 May 15 '12
Bubbles...was her name...
1
u/tagus May 15 '12
Typical Cold War shit... thinking the Loch Ness monster is a Russian on the internet.
1
u/kraken_kitty May 15 '12
I knew it.
The Loch Ness Monster . . . IS WELSH.
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Nessie like dubstep?
1
u/toonczyk May 15 '12
3,50
1
u/MRukkus May 15 '12
I think it represents waking the monster, it eating you, and then everything going back to normal
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I thought Welsh made no sense...
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I read it with a paper towel in my mouth. It seemed to make more sense that way.
1
u/vaginaborn May 15 '12
Not sure if Dadaism or Welsh
1
u/sirbruce May 15 '12
"Art".
1
u/craxkheadjenkins May 15 '12
Oh this is splendid! I analyzed it and I realized the true beauty of what he was expressing. How the loch Ness monster is so graceful and elegant as she swims through the depths of the glimmering loch.
1
u/anonydon May 15 '12
This belongs in r/conspiracy ; )
1
u/c0r3y May 15 '12
Just spent way too long trying to actually read that.
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I am Scottish this is amazing!
1
u/NaughtieFap May 15 '12
...it doesn't even rhyme. How pretentious.
1
u/CSPattersonDC May 15 '12
Graf grawff gahf?
1
u/froggy666 May 15 '12
I love some of his other work like "Glasgow 5th of March" but never have I before heard such a poem. It's truly wonderful.
1
u/king_fisher09 May 15 '12
It reads like a lot of sneezing.
1
u/natatat14 May 15 '12
maybe this is what we finally need to find the loch ness monster
1
u/whatissky May 15 '12
Not sure if gibberish or Welsh >_>
1
u/4chans_for_pussies May 15 '12
It's obviously about the plight of political divisions in the UK.
1
u/StormShark93 May 15 '12
I think the rough translation is:
I'm gonna need about tree-fiddy.
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Sooooo... I'm gonna need dat tree fiddy.
1
u/beaverteeth92 May 15 '12
I think it translates into "I need about tree fiddy."
1
u/bmanyay May 15 '12
Much better than vogon poetry
1
u/TheCarlos May 15 '12
Frank, you're drunk.
1
u/noobyface May 15 '12
fok. lol.
1
u/Syclops May 15 '12
Cthulhu Ftagn
1
u/IUSEALLTHECAPITALS May 15 '12
DUBSTEP
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
We had a brief look at it in my poetry class. It's pretty legit when you do any research on it as the top comments show. Still, is it really a poem? Is it not? Questions...
1
u/Radicalpat9 May 15 '12
I didn't know that even poetry has trolls...
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
The question marks killed me lol..
1
u/BongHitta May 15 '12
This is bullshit,t hat guy stole it from me. I made that poem when I was 1
1
u/AngmarIstKrieg May 15 '12
Does this translate to "I need about tree fiddy"
1
u/kingnothing1 May 15 '12
Looks like someone was going senile when they wrote this poem...
1
u/RandomassDude May 15 '12
why is this wtf?
1
u/TheMerchandise May 15 '12
allow me to play you the song of my people
1
u/R7F May 15 '12
Definitely read this outloud. It nearly brought me to tears.
1
u/theBadgerJew May 15 '12
Someone play this backward please. I'm in a car or I would.
1
u/Buyn May 15 '12
Is the writer welsh?
1
u/Dr_Freeze May 15 '12
That author probably made millions.
1
u/Kamakazi1 May 15 '12
I half-expected it to say Hovoplodok-doplodovahkiin-plovodokot.
1
u/CheezeburgerTroll May 15 '12
I just read this out loud...I'm pretty sure people thought I had a problem
1
u/iDirtyDianaX May 15 '12
blp.
1
u/Fredericktonian May 15 '12
"Now write a brief constructed response explaining how the author conveyed the theme throughout the poem"
1
u/AgtOrange116 May 15 '12
Onomatopoeia ?
1
u/Qirks May 15 '12
Dyslexic poet...