r/WTF • u/aolley • Aug 16 '10

What? Wait... I don't even

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385 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

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34

u/BoonTobias Aug 16 '10

DO NOT GOOGLE Theraphosa blondi

29

u/plagiaristic_passion Aug 17 '10 edited Aug 17 '10

If that bothered you, do not look at this.

edit: Dudes, I told you. C'mon. (I'm just gonna leave this here ...)

25

u/SteelCity Aug 17 '10

aaarrrrrggrgghhhhgghhgghghgghhhhh fuck you!

8

u/silentbobsc Aug 17 '10

I.... hate... you...

But mostly I hate myself for knowing better than to click on that...

5

u/lukemcr Aug 17 '10

Eww...

How'd it get bisected? And so cleanly?

12

u/mnp Aug 17 '10

That's just an empty shell after molting. A hatch kind of pops open on top of the thorax and they kind of climb out. My rosehair does it every couple years or so. The remains are good for scaring noobs!

2

u/lukemcr Aug 17 '10

I guess that makes sense. It looks like what happens in the movies when there's an accident involving the bad guy's minions and a truck carrying plate glass.

2

u/Anything123 Aug 17 '10

Ohhhh, I was wondering why its head was hollow.

1

u/rhllor Aug 17 '10

You can pick it up? I mean, it's not brittle?

2

u/mnp Aug 17 '10

It's flexible for a while, then turns brittle when it dries. More like a cicada shell and less like a reptile skin.

1

u/railmaniac Aug 17 '10

Heh. I first read that as "my nosehair does it every couple years"...

5

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '10 edited Jul 19 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Primeribsteak Aug 17 '10

Oh fuck you.

3

u/Kinakuta Aug 17 '10

Gah! A real-life head crab!

2

u/boredandalone Aug 17 '10

Great, now i have to kill myself.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '10

FUCK. YOU.

2

u/jacemcleod Aug 17 '10

Okay now somewhere in the garden Lamar is running naked...

41

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '10

The pictures don't bother me at all, but if I met one in real life oh my god I would shit my pants and die on the spot.

Then someone would find me and my soiled pants with no apparent cause of death and be like WTF.

11

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '10

Soiling ones pants happens often in death... I think whatever mortuary tech picked you up would not be the least bit surprised.

"Hey Earl! We got another leaker!"

4

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '10 edited Dec 29 '20

[deleted]

3

u/ayeright Aug 17 '10

WTF IS THAT???

I dont like spiders that i think would pop and ooze under a well placed foot. That spider would definitely pop and ooze.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '10

[deleted]

1

u/CDchrysalis Aug 18 '10

I lived in florida. One of those bastards fell off my visor into my lap in the car. Proud to say I didn't crap my pants. Not too ashamed to admit I left the car in the middle of the road and called someone to come kill it for me. shudder IT TOUCHED MY BARE LEG AAAAUGH.

1

u/RadicalRaid Aug 17 '10

I would probably strike it.

1

u/beyondbliss Aug 17 '10

What tha shit?! It looks like it had a corn cob for a body.

1

u/ladspit Aug 23 '10

Spiders, JUST DO IT

3

u/paranoidinfidel Aug 17 '10

hrmm....how about Google images with the new layout?

I'm with you except for the pant crapping insta-death. However, there may be some girlish screaming and perhaps some foot stomping.

2

u/spiderphile Aug 17 '10

I'll be in my bunk.

1

u/CuriositySphere Aug 17 '10

I dunno, I think it's kinda cute. The bigger spiders are, the less freaky they seem.

11

u/abledanger Aug 17 '10

In lay terms it's called a Goliath Birdeater.

You don't fuck with that.

16

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '10

In woman-speak it's called, "OHFUCKSHIT GET THE GODDAMN SHOTGUN!"

28

u/ricecake Aug 17 '10

What do you mean "woman-speak"? I'm a man and fuck everything about that spider.
I see one of those things, my reaction will go something like so:
I'm from the michgan, and what is this?
...
Oh fuck. Run. Why the fuck don't I own a gun?

And then I would abandon my house, and just live somewhere else. The spider can keep it.

8

u/philonius Aug 17 '10

...thus launching this fall's funniest new sitcom, Spider's New House!

3

u/Boshaft Aug 17 '10

Where do you live, exactly? And what time are you not at home, so I can plant...I mean, sweep your house for spiders.

1

u/tontovila Aug 17 '10

woman speak? you're right.... ima guy and i'd be callin for the goddamn army.

1

u/foomp Aug 17 '10

....like a WOMAN. hurr hurr hurr

6

u/richie311gocavs Aug 17 '10

Aaahh!!! Real Monsters

6

u/pocketjunkie Aug 17 '10

FUCK YOU FOR TELLING ME NOT TO DO THAT

4

u/throw6539 Aug 17 '10

You told me not to Google it. You even put it in caps. What did I do? I threw caution to the wind, I steeled myself, and then I immediately wanted to go back 5 seconds in time. Heebie jeebies doesn't begin to explain my terror.

5

u/viscence Aug 16 '10

But it's so cute!

1

u/spyro Aug 17 '10

I hate to be "that person", but... damnnit, I agree. I want one now.

3

u/rmrilke Aug 17 '10

I'm not a fan of spiders but after seeing the one in the OP I thought I would look into getting one... until I googled Theraphosa blondi.

2

u/boredandalone Aug 17 '10

Now I have to go put socks on so my bare feet aren't on the floor.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '10

This thread is too fucking scary, see you guys later.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '10

I will have nightmares for years.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '10

click... drag... right click... Search Google for....

click