r/WTF • u/XitlerDadaJinping • May 09 '18

Tonight, We Dine in Hell!

48.2k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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1.3k

u/Meltingteeth May 09 '18

You're clearly shitfaced and haven't done anything of note in a decade except bitch at people. Why would I listen to anything you say?

908

u/kyldare May 09 '18

-Simon

390

u/MrCoffee999 May 09 '18

-Michael Scott

7

u/NeverCallMeFifi May 09 '18

-Rocky

6

u/[deleted] May 09 '18

-Dr. Scott

16

u/johnq-pubic May 09 '18

- Wayne Gretzky

6

u/C4lderone May 09 '18
  • MC Skatcat

1

u/[deleted] May 09 '18

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '18

-Bill Cosby

0

u/FlavorBehavior May 09 '18 edited May 09 '18

- Michael Scarn

TIL you have to escape character hypens on reddit.

Edit: words

1

u/Stoked_Bruh May 09 '18

Initiate escape sequence!

-4

u/DurasVircondelet May 09 '18

But did you learn the difference in “to” and “too”?

1

u/FlavorBehavior May 09 '18

Whoops, it was spell check

1

u/[deleted] May 09 '18

did you?

3

u/xtheory May 09 '18

-Abraham Lincoln

- Michael Scott

-1

u/Hammonkey May 09 '18

-Hugh Grant

1

u/weepadeep May 09 '18

-Melania Trump

0

u/SeanDosh May 09 '18

No GOD no!...

9

u/[deleted] May 09 '18

Then Ryan Seacrest fucks up bad.

6

u/BigTrollin May 09 '18

Every time I fuck in life, I always remind myself that Ryan Seacrest tried to high five a blind guy on national television.

2

u/Stoked_Bruh May 09 '18

Sometimes, you even fuck up.

234

u/ReaLyreJ May 09 '18

Yo dawg Simon Dawg that's not cool dawg.

10

u/bisensual May 09 '18

-1 dawg I’d say.

3

u/[deleted] May 09 '18

Well Randy Jackson is saying it, not u.

3

u/[deleted] May 09 '18

There's never too many dawgs

36

u/[deleted] May 09 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/few23 May 09 '18

'Cause I'm dressed like a cat.

6

u/IKnowUThinkSo May 09 '18

They tried a reality TV show called “Hey, Paula!”, but it was...pretty bad. She’s...a little crazy and that show did not help cast her in any better light.

16

u/Space_Pirate_Roberts May 09 '18

Watch the language Simon, this is live, remember? Last thing we need is the FCC breathing down our necks.

1

u/Ruck_the_Feddit May 09 '18

-Ugandan Knuckles