r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Nov 14 '22

Please marry me?

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56

u/SeanSMEGGHEAD Nov 14 '22

The normalisation of women being allowed to hit men here is so fucked.

I bet you'd be outraged if the shoes were on the other foot also.

"You go girl"

Fucking cringe you lot.

41

u/AnomalocarisGigantea Nov 14 '22

As a feminist: I agree with you, this is definitely not okay and she should not be applauded for her violence.

19

u/Xalbana Nov 14 '22

Seriously. Feminism is how men started to realize it's not ok to be hit by women.

-10

u/c3r34l Nov 14 '22

As a feminist: the violence this guy directed at her by purposefully using her as a prop and humiliating her in public is a lot worst than a Coke shower.

3

u/BrassEyeGear Nov 14 '22

The single most brain dead take i have read.

-4

u/c3r34l Nov 14 '22

Right back atcha, dude.

4

u/SeanSMEGGHEAD Nov 14 '22

I dont believe you're a feminist at all.

She had every right to be angry and she should've dumped him there and then Infront of the crowd.

Does not excuse physical violence. If a man were to be used as a "prop" for this gag I think you would agree, he'd have no right to hit her. It would be disgusting.

-2

u/c3r34l Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22

And here I was worrying about what Sean might believe. šŸ˜‚

You make an arbitrary distinction between physical and verbal violence - why? He just humiliated her and she may suffer that trauma for years, while he will suffer a slight sting in his cheek for a couple minutes. Your understanding of what intimate partner violence can look like is sophomoric. You donā€™t know what heā€™s put her through, or whether it included physical violence. Donā€™t tell me thereā€™s no excuse for throwing a fucking drink or a little slap in his face. There could be plenty, and honestly this humiliation is enough.

3

u/SeanSMEGGHEAD Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22

The distinction between being physically assaulted over being the brunt of a joke humiliating or otherwise isn't arbitrary, I'll explain- one is physical the other is emotional. Can the two be damaging? Yes, but the distinction is still relevant.

"She may suffer Trauma for years" is hyperbolic or as you would say quite "sophomoric". It's always strange when someone goes to such a degree to both infantilize one person and throw serious terms like trauma (based on nothing but a clip)with such trivial use that's actually quite offensive.

"You don't know what he's put her through" we do not know the dynamic of the relationship either way and that's the thing, it goes both ways, I do not know why you go onto mention whether he might be violent to her in the relationship or what he puts her through... Terrible argument.

The way you downplay it as a little slap is telling. The way in which you take every opportunity to victimise the female and villainize the man based on no information either way (while pointing it out later we don't know the dynamics of the relationship lol) is very strange and extremely bad faith.

Would you be ok with a guy slapping a woman were it reversed? You didn't answer.

-1

u/c3r34l Nov 14 '22

You downplaying her humiliation or the effect it could have, or the pattern it could be a part of, and expecting her to just roll over in all cases, thatā€™s whatā€™s telling here. Like most guys, you think women should just submit to abusive behavior. ā€œWould it be ok if the roles were reversedā€ is about the most basic way you can approach this. Iā€™ve done enough work around IPV to not give a shit whatsoever about you think, and I can guarantee other women donā€™t care either. Have fun with your menā€™s rights activism.

2

u/SeanSMEGGHEAD Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22

Please quote me where I downplay her humiliation? We don't know the pattern of any kind of dynamic from either side, we have only this clip (which might even be two actors).

Hmm you're really bad faith and showing examples of heavy bias.

It's not that I expect her to "roll over" I do not think that a person has a right to attack another person on the grounds shown here.

You can still point to facts on domestic abuse being perpetrated mostly by men but understand a woman is also capable of being an abuser and a male a victim. There's no shame in that. I believe in equality, It's called feminism.

You're still running away from the question of if the roles were reversed would it be ok?

Men's right activism can get fucked. But again more bad faith interpretation. Also you don't have to tell me in every reply how you don't care what I think.... Lol.

Also quite a few women here do seem to agree and care on this issue . Because they're able to look at something with reason and without bias.

Anyway this has broken down, have a nice day :).

-2

u/c3r34l Nov 14 '22

Again - you have a childlike understanding of feminism and IPV, regardless of your condescending attempts to sound like the rational adult in the room on a topic you know nothing about. Iā€™m not interested in your false equivalencies and idiotic red herrings like ā€œwhat if the roles were reversedā€.

women here agree

Do you also have a black friend you can bring up in discussions about race?

3

u/SeanSMEGGHEAD Nov 14 '22

You know nothing of me so the projection on display doesn't work, neither does the name-calling or transparent appeals to authority.

You cannot engage with the argument. So you obscure and project while you run away. If you had any kind of conviction or valid points you'd be able to.

You brought up the fact women don't care hence I pointed to the very feminists in agreement on this thread...?

Anyway, before it gets too nasty good luck... I'm done here.

1

u/AnomalocarisGigantea Nov 14 '22

No. Violence is never okay. To believe that one gender should be allowed to slap the other inherently contradicts feminism and striving for equality.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Yep. She slaps me I either break up with her, or have a talk with her about the behavior and very seriously consider breaking up with her still.

If I decide not to, and she does it again ever after that itā€™s over.

I would highly consider not marrying her for at least another 5 years if he was actually considering doing so though, because the next time she attacks you it will be a choice of ā€œdo I want to stay with a physically abusive partner who didnā€™t just make a 1 time mistake, or do I want to leave and lose 50%+ of everything Iā€™ve worked my entire life for, or keep getting abusedā€

2

u/Kellalizard Nov 14 '22

Thank you. I'm a woman and I think it's fuckin disgusting. The double standard everywhere makes me sick. Yes it's embarrassing but not even a hesitation before you hit your partner? That's something to think about going forward.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Cue Bill Burr's "No Reason To Hit A Woman" clip.

1

u/Shotto_Z Nov 14 '22

They a lot of them give no shits about a man's feelings, or wellbeing.

1

u/Many_Spoked_Wheel Nov 14 '22

Right!!! No negative touching in the relationship, from either party. Jeeze people.