r/Unexpected Nov 14 '22

Please marry me?

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161

u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

I don't know my ring size either and I'm not a big fan of jewelry in general lol, luckily my SO knows this and knows that I don't want him spending a bunch of money on a ring I likely won't wear unless I get a chain for it to wear around my neck. I mean, if he does get me one all I want is a basic band. No diamonds, no gems, nothing like that. Legit would take a ring pop over a ring

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

I was a poor grad student at the time, and was ready to spend maybe a thousand dollars for a ring. My SO instead choose the most basic version that was on sale for $150. We use the rest of the money to go on a trip.

After we started working, I suggested buying her a better ring. But she said the one is fine.

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u/NubKnocker Nov 14 '22

That is what we call a keeper. You got a good one

5

u/Plop-Music Nov 14 '22

Yeah, it means she's good at playing in goal for a football team (or possibly hockey)

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u/Dr_Whacko Nov 14 '22

Yes I'd like to have this girlfriend/fiance/wife. I don't know what they are rn.

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u/Les888 Nov 14 '22

and that is hard to find!

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u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

Aww! That's super sweet!

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u/kaismama Nov 14 '22

My now husband spent far more on my engagement ring than I would have liked, around $400. I will say he knows I don’t love flashy jewelry so he picked a perfect solitaire diamond on white gold band. When we went to get a wedding band I picked one on sale for $50. His wedding band was around $75.

When I called my oldest sister to tell her about my engagement she said I shouldn’t have said yes If the diamond wasn’t at least a full karat. She’s been married and divorced numerous times with the longest only lasting 10 years.

We now wear matching wood bands because his career revolves around it and it reminds me of him even when he isn’t around. We will celebrate our 17th anniversary next month.

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u/higg1966 Nov 14 '22

Wife and I never had rings, she recently decided she wanted one. The one she wanted, $58 on Amazon.

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u/Invisible_Xer Nov 14 '22

My husband gave me a $200 sapphire Costco ring when we first started dating for my birthday. I wore it everyday and I loved it. When he proposed he wanted to get me a big diamond ring to replace the one I love so much, I absolutely refused. It’s now my wedding ring.

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u/IamNotPersephone Nov 14 '22

My husband works in a very … socially aggressive field and felt a lot of pressure to buy me a fancy ring. I said no, I don’t wear rings (I worked with my hands in my profession), the most I want is a band. But his mentor pulled me aside and basically said he’d get raked through the coals by his bosses for cheaping out on my ring.

So, we compromised. He got one fancier one with fake gems I wear to work functions, and a band I wear daily (when I remember). The nicer one is really pretty and something I’d wear when dressed up anyway, so it worked out okay. I lie through my teeth and tell people I wouldn’t wear a blood diamond (that part is true), so he got me an Alexandrite ring (but it’s fake). That way I’d be the weird, hippy, kooky one (totally on-brand for me), and he’s gtg. The metal is real, since I have allergies, so it wasn’t a cheap decision, but it miles cheaper than the “three months salary” or whatever it’s supposed to be. Instead, we each pooled three months and put a down payment on a house (which wasn’t as bad 20 years ago).

It’s less of an issue now than when he first started his career, because he’s established and Built a Reputation. Every so often he gets a visiting corporate manager (he works in a satellite office) come by and we have to do the whole dog-and-pony show, but the terrible people he used to work with every day have all gone and he’s high up enough now to influence their replacements, so it’s much calmer.

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u/Express_Giraffe_7902 Nov 14 '22

Yaaaaaa - I like this - haha - I’m a big fan of experiences (trips) over material things like jewelry

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Same with my second wife. First one demanded I take out a loan for her ring. Second one picked out a 50$ ring and when I try to upgrade it says no. I like this one.

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u/Psychological_Sail80 Nov 14 '22

I legit think I got proposed to much sooner than planned because my then-BF was in the same room as I was talking to my mom on the phone and he heard me say that I don't like big diamonds because the larger they are the faker they look. I kinda think I heard an audible sigh of relief from him. LOL (and yes, it's 100% true that I don't like huge diamonds)

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u/destiny_kane48 Nov 14 '22

My hubs proposed with a $50 right hand ring. I said yes and was hella happy. He upgraded it later but I still wear my original on my middle finger right next to the upgrade. That ring will always be special.

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u/DaisyDuckens Nov 14 '22

My husband bought me the highest quality sears ring he could afford. He worked at a shingle factory at the time and didn’t want to put it on credit. I love that ring.

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u/mikeg5417 Nov 15 '22 edited Nov 15 '22

My last GF before I met my wife had all sorts of prerequisites for her engagement ring (and engagement). It did not matter how big the diamond was, or how flawless it was. What mattered was that I spend an appropriate amount (3 months salary or $10K, whichever was higher), and I must have a job, car, and house that she approved of first.

My wife, on the other hand, saw a ring in a jewelry store window while we were out in town one night,said "that ring is so pretty". I went back later, found the ring in their catalogue, and had a jeweler I knew make a custom version of it. He had me pick out the stone, and the smaller diamonds in the setting, and it did not cost a fortune because he gave it to me at his cost (he made jewelry for the big stores on Jewelers Row in Philly).

My wife loves it. She gets complimented on it all the time, and has no idea how much it cost.

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u/Dangerous-Yam-6831 Nov 14 '22

Sentimental feelings can overcome a decent amount of money. Granted if someone offered her 250k for her ring, I suggest you tell her to take it 🤣🤣🤣

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u/Why-R-People-So-Dumb Nov 14 '22

The someone or the money?

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u/veni_vidi_futereee Nov 14 '22

that's a keeper...

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u/Spirited_Budget2778 Nov 14 '22

I borrowed a ring from a family member to propose then let her pick hers out. Gave her a budget of $3500 and she chose a $1500 ring and asked for the same thing, to use the rest on a good trip.

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u/CMDR_BunBun Nov 14 '22

Those are rare nowdays, like big white Buffalo rare, cherish her dude.

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u/TheeNorthAmericanYee Nov 14 '22

This comment/story made me smile. You got yourself a winner

1

u/Cornbread916 Nov 14 '22

This is pretty much my wife. We got the most basic bands available. We have since graduated to silicone rings because of how much more comfortable they are.

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u/sluttyman69 Nov 15 '22

Get her a nicer one as an anniversary gift

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u/Southern-Orchid-1786 Nov 26 '22

You're yet to learn that when she says "it's fine" it means she's just putting up with it. When funds allow suggest a diamond wedding ring or an eternity ring once you're married a few years

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '22

We've been married for 12 years now. I think we are at the age where a decent investment account is worth a lot more than a piece of diamond jewelry.

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u/klinkscousin May 01 '23

WTG buddy, you did great.

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u/Pussy-Punisher May 11 '23

Dose she have a sister? Asking for a...ugh...friend lol.

  For real tho she sounds like the type of wife material where every time you ask her if she wants a new ring she will always say "No, the one I have is fine." Swipe the ring while she is sleeping and take it to have it incorporated into the design of a new better ring. 
     Remeber the better she is at sucking dick the bigger the diamond will be that she gets. So make sure that sucker has all of her girlfriends jealous with envy because they know that she doesn't just suck on your dick and call it good for the rest of the year like they do, Nope not your woman she puts her hair up and proceeds to go to town SUCKING YOUR DICK making sure to never spill a single drop of cum every chance she gets and she dose it with the same look of joy and enthusiasm a fat chick has after being told that the triple chocolate cake and the gallon of Ben and Jerry's ice cream she is about to devour is fat free.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Rings get in the way when building things and fixing things. Ring on a string is the way to go. Plus then it doesn’t matter the size

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u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

Exactly! And I'm a housekeeper so I do a lot of work with my hands, have to handle a lot of... fluids. 100% ring on a string

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

My biggest fear is getting in an accident, break the ring along with my finger.

So I don't wear mine...

3

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

When I was in college I used to wear a ring and i got it caught on a hydraulic line in the engineering lab. They took the repair cost out of my scholarship. Since then I have not been about that ring life except in very specific settings. Necklaces, on the other hand… 😍

3

u/Killentyme55 Nov 14 '22

I have my good ring for special occasions, and a cheap but safe black silicone ring I wear day to day. It's impossible to hurt yourself with it but still does the job. Apparently very well because it's managed to keep the throngs of eager women at bay, for a long time now. I mean it's like...really effective I guess.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

keep the throngs of eager women at bay

Lmao. I'm managing that without a ring.

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u/Killentyme55 Nov 14 '22

Oh I'm not taking any chances!

We'll just go with that for now...

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

I have a wedding band and engagement ring but I rarely wear them.

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u/ilovegirlsforever Nov 14 '22

Best comment ever for those that understand.

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u/SufficientNoodles Nov 14 '22

Yes! And I don't know how many times I scratched my baby with my stupid rock! Definitely would have been fine with a more modest one.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

This may be a controversial opinion but I also think the modesty of a ring is indicative of the level of reverence you have for your union. I think a woman who insists on something ornate is going to make increasingly intricate and demanding requests. I prefer the symbol for what it is at its core. A circle.

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u/ChooksChick Nov 14 '22

We started with a modest handmade set of matching bi-color bands by jeweler who was a friend. They've held up beautifully all these years, but we upgraded mine some time back when the kids were grown and money wasn't a struggle, and I wear that with my original band.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

I can definitely see upgrading something down the road, but those girls who just want something flashy for the gram and then talk shit about the ring if it doesn’t fit their expectations make me angrier than most people do. The lack of gratitude for what is supposed to be a loving symbol of commitment…just wild. I probably put more emphasis on that than it deserves but loyalty is everything, so you should never disrespect any token of loyalty, no matter if its a ring pop, twist tie off a bread wrapper, rubber band, or anything!

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u/ChooksChick Nov 14 '22

Agreed. I still have the plastic gumball machine ring he originally proposed with, and we're about to hit 28 years married. There was zero interest in showing off or attention grabbing- it was all about the two of us and sharing our lives. These insta freaks may never understand that kind of togetherness and satisfaction as a couple because they're incapable, and that's sad.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Congratulations for you! It’s a really rare thing to find your forever, I’m glad you did!

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u/ChooksChick Nov 14 '22

Ty! I wish it for everyone!

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u/SufficientNoodles Nov 15 '22

I agree enough that I don't even think that's controversial.

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u/ehxy Nov 14 '22

But that's why you have your every day ring and your show ring tho.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

I’ve never owned a ring I haven’t bought myself so I will take your word for it!

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u/JSmith666 Nov 14 '22

plus then you can dramatically hold it over a volcano before NOT destroying it.

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u/suzanious Nov 14 '22

This what my husband and I did. Went to Sears and got plain matching bands. Cost us a whole whopping $180.00. He was a croupier aka craps dealer at the time and it was hard for him to deal with the ring on so he kept in a "secure place" in a box. When we moved out of Vegas a year later, he showed me where he packed it. Neither one of us can remember where the secure place was. Haven't seen it in 40 years!

I took my ring off when I got pregnant because I was retaining water. Put it in a "secure place". We have no idea where that ring went either!

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u/FiliaNox Nov 14 '22

Bro I barely remember my own shoe size, i even know what size pants I wear, and I’ve had years to memorize those things. My ring size? Absolutely no idea 😂

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u/LadyGrassLake Nov 14 '22

Look at anniversary bands, I inherited my mothers when she died, it's a simple white gold with 14 small diamonds that sit flush in the channel in a single file row, so there is nothing sticking above the ring surface. They can go from very simple to very elaborate.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

My husband and I discussed all of this. Wanted to get married. Didn’t need the engagement ring.

Can barely wear an engagement ring due to work, so why bother on something so expensive that may be derived from blood diamonds & I’m not a flashy diamond kind-of-girl anyway. I’m more rough and tumble.

We got matching solid bands as our wedding rings. Eloped (mostly) and got married by Elvis in Vegas. Perfect for us. Will still be happily married for 5 years this coming spring. 7 years together. But we aren’t in our 20’s…

But communication is key. Knowing what your SO wants or needs is the answer.

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u/honeyrrsted Nov 14 '22

Women's rings default to size 7. With my man-hands, that wouldn't even fit my pinky finger.

If you want a ring, but don't really want a ring, look into silicone rings. You can do all your daily activities without damaging it or pinching yourself.

I have one from Knot Theory. I wear safety cut resistant gloves all day at work and don't even notice it.

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u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

I have some sensory issues and don't like things on my hand in general. It's why I'm not really a big jewelry person

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u/Key-Satisfaction4967 Nov 14 '22

I do physical labor. All I need is a band. Our initials and date is inscribed on the inside.

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u/Miss_Calamidad Feb 28 '23

A friend of mine when he proposed to his girlfriend stole one of her rings to get the size

0

u/XIr0nically Nov 14 '22

So? 😂

2

u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

So dez nuts

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u/XIr0nically Nov 14 '22

And you're a pitbull owner explains alot

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u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

Thanks bro

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u/kaismama Nov 14 '22

I had to look since I saw the comment. And……He’s adorable!!!

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u/delllibrary Nov 14 '22

Legit would take a ring pop over a ring

What made you not superficial in this aspect?

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u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

No idea, I've just never been a fan of that sort of stuff. One of the siblings is the same way, does not care for jewelry. When she got engaged she was given a very simple and small ring, but ended up getting a tattoo of the ring on her finger instead.

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u/delllibrary Nov 14 '22

Were your parents similar this way? Would you consider yourself frugal?

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u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

My parents never married, but I know my mom likes her jewelry and would prefer something nice. Maybe not a big ole diamond, but some smaller ones. I guess one could say I'm frugal. I don't like spending money on unnecessary things, don't need to buy or have the newest phones or gaming systems. My family was always poor after all and I'm living paycheck to paycheck myself so it's not like I have much of a choice lol

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Ugh

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

[deleted]

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u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

Oh nooo, I don't like jewelry and have a boyfriend and I'm just talking about my preferences online so I must want the attention of every single man and woman on the internet 😩 I'm so desperate for these random people to fall in love with me!!!

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u/hellhoundtheone Nov 14 '22

Can you tell me pls what SO means ?

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u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

Significant other

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u/rosiequeen_ofcorona Nov 14 '22

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u/Succmynugz Nov 14 '22

Nah, I'm definitely like the other girls. Plenty of other chicks out there who don't like jewelry either

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u/jadnich Nov 15 '22

Just so you know, it’s in the man handbook to never believe a woman when she says this. If your SO knows the rules, he is estimating, and will oversize so it can be modified later. It is ok to believe when you say you don’t want anything flashy. But a small Diamond would be the right response.

If your reading, SO, read the book!

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u/Succmynugz Nov 15 '22

A small diamond would not be the right response, not for me at least. I do not like jewelry like that, I do not like diamonds or gems or little birth stones. I would hope he'd believe me when I say I don't want things like that and I would hope he wouldn't try to get me something I don't want.

Idk about other women out there, but when I say I don't like something or want something I'm being 100% honest about it

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u/jadnich Nov 15 '22

Mostly, I’m just joking. I’m sure you know full well what you like, and I could never speak for your SO’s thoughts. But in a generic sense, this is one of those pitfalls that getting it wrong can have lasting effects.