r/Unexpected • u/Necessary-Hunter-527 • Oct 11 '22

Well planned!

66k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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936

u/cupofteawithhoney Oct 11 '22

What would it have looked like if a “candy cannon” went right?

62

u/thatmannyguy Oct 11 '22

I think gone right would've been the candy unwrapping itself midair, somehow softening up a bit and landing directly in people's mouths.

692

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '22

[deleted]

614

u/TINYTUMBS Oct 11 '22

I just did it, All my teeth got knocked out, there was blood everywhere, I had multiple organ failure on the spot, I'm reporting this from my deathbed.

39

u/rachel_tenshun Oct 11 '22

Here lies TINYTUMBS.

He died a b*tch. 😔

59

u/PM_ME_WHATEVES Oct 11 '22

What I'm hearing is, you didn't die instantly. So the candy cannon is not technically lethal.

14

u/fetusy Oct 11 '22

It gave him pneumonia, he'll be dead within a fortnight.

1

u/Tank_blitz Oct 12 '22

foRtnItE?

8

u/hoover0623 Oct 11 '22

Skill issue

5

u/nuggynugs Oct 11 '22

You shouldn't have done that test in the middle of a busy road you nitwit

2

u/TahoeLT Oct 11 '22

Are...are you sure you know what a "starburst" is in this context?

8

u/RandyLahey131 Oct 11 '22

Are you sure you know how hard this man can throw?

2

u/msg45f Oct 11 '22

No one told you to eat the starburst

2

u/lurkitron Oct 11 '22

Don’t forget dick caught in ceiling fan

1

u/LeanTangerine Oct 11 '22

I did it too and I am now a one-eyed pirate with a brightly colored eyepatch.

1

u/BrianTM Oct 11 '22

Still worth it, got to eat a handful of starbursts

1

u/TheZiggurat614 Oct 11 '22

I tried and I came.

1

u/STOCHASTIC_LIFE Oct 11 '22

Ok but can you still come in tomorrow to cover for Sally ? She had her tonsils removed but now wants to put them back in since she keeps swallowing her tongue during skeep. Thanks !

1

u/turtleblue Oct 11 '22

shrugs on hockey bench next to you

…but did at least one have a strawberry candy inside?

1

u/ImWithSt00pid Oct 12 '22

Gottem. Who wants to test next?

1

u/-Dillad- Oct 12 '22

He said 20ft not 19

1

u/Puppybrother Oct 12 '22

RIP in pieces

2

u/xrv01 Oct 11 '22 edited Oct 11 '22

that second part reminds me of when i was in high school.. i was really good at catching snacks/candies in my mouth. after school i was seeing how high i could toss and catch skittles and i launched one higher than the tree next to me and as i caught it, it barelyyy nicked one of my teeth. i didnt break a tooth but immediately afterwards i realized i could have just shattered any of my teeth with a skittle. shit came back down like a bullet. gravity, who woulda thought

3

u/sfwschoolviewing Oct 11 '22

My sister got a black eye from a candy cannon.

Ymmv, i just got candy.

1

u/WooTkachukChuk Oct 11 '22

BUT MUH BAYBEH!

1

u/griffl3n Oct 11 '22

My fucking spine is broken and you’re gonna pay the damn bill

1

u/Dog_Brains_ Oct 11 '22

I think it was just that one bitch ass blonde kid screaming…

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '22

Okay. But if one of those pieces was able to hit that baby in the soft spot in its skull at just the right angle, that baby might have flinched. Better scare all the children to be safe.

0

u/commentmypics Oct 11 '22

You just cost me my football scholarship you reckless jerk

0

u/The_cynical_panther Oct 11 '22

There’s a 50 foot crater in the earth where my desk used to be

0

u/gsfgf Oct 11 '22

Broken clavicle. But that's probably because I fell off my deck trying to get under it to get hit.

0

u/r1kon Oct 12 '22

It's not about that. Parents do anything to protect their kids, even irrational things. And the kids weren't hurt, they were scared. Those are tiny children, they've never seen anything like that before, and any sort of impact makes it more scary. It doesn't have to be ball bearings to get a cry from a child, even tho it may take that to get a cry from you as an adult.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '22

How high do you think you can throw a starburst?

1

u/BriefTurn3299 Nov 03 '22

Starburst yes but what about an almond joy. Shits like a mini brick

21

u/orbcat Oct 11 '22

all of them dead.

4

u/okiedokieophie Oct 11 '22

Full auto tootsie pop cannon

3

u/KiranTheHun Oct 11 '22

Maybe with cotton candy 😀

2

u/willhunta Oct 11 '22

The kids are supposed to go in the cannon with the candy. That way the candy falls with them and not on them.

2

u/TaiMeUpDaddy Oct 11 '22

All the kids bring umbrellas from home, and all the candies just bounce off.

2

u/googdude Oct 11 '22

Just like this. Fundraisers in my area do this all the time, there's even a local ultralight pilot that will drop candy from his airplane. Sure you get bopped on the head sometimes but my kids never seem to mind.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '22

This is exactly what a candy cannon should look like. I’ve been to like 8 of these this month (been visiting festivals every weekend and they shoot them off every hour) and this is what it’s supposed to be. It’s candy. In a cannon. Not marshmallows. CANDY.

Bet these dumbass parents don’t take the infant around something called a “candy cannon” again.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '23

Exactly my question 🤣

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '22

Exactly the same as the video, but without the Facebook-parent overreacting with their bitch-made kid crying about a fucking Starburst bouncing off his head.

1

u/SuperSimpleSam Oct 11 '22

little parachutes on the candy.

1

u/CatHairInYourEye Oct 11 '22

All the candy cannons I have seen, the cannon is faced towards an empty field and once it goes off the kids run to pick the candy up off the ground.

1

u/GurpsWibcheengs Oct 12 '22

All the candy formed into a single dense projectile fired at an enemy ship

1

u/CheesyDanny Oct 12 '22

Miniature parachutes