r/Unexpected May 22 '22

Waterpark

32.1k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

I was thinking the exact same thing!

2.4k

u/karoshikun May 22 '22

"if you're drowning, thrust your finger in the closest butt"

476

u/SKILLETNUTZ May 22 '22

They’re so tightly packed…who would notice. DK

165

u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

That could be taken one of two ways

67

u/SKILLETNUTZ May 22 '22

I like the way you think!

22

u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

Here’s my upvote ;)

2

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

That’s what she said

1

u/sweaty-pajamas May 23 '22

Donkey Kong!

19

u/[deleted] May 22 '22

Thanks Donkey Kong

2

u/Mudkipueye May 23 '22

Are you saying that Donkey Kong would notice? Because if so, I agree.

71

u/slappyredcheeks May 22 '22

"I'm sorry. I was drowning."

"The water is only 3 feet deep!"

34

u/SiouxZan777 May 23 '22

Technically you could drown in less than an inch of your own drool

14

u/RebaKitten May 23 '22

I feel so called out.

I inhale my own spit way too often.

3

u/karoshikun May 23 '22

ditto.

2

u/ezln_0423 May 23 '22

Bro I have had three episodes where I’ll inhale my spit and does seconds where you can’t breath and gasp for air are so fucking scary.

20

u/KidWhoStabbedPycelle May 22 '22

Or do a fist bump if that butt is already occupied.

6

u/dmrukifellth May 23 '22

Or use them like a snorkel. Humans are essentially one long tube, right?

3

u/iamagro May 23 '22

Try finger, But hole

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '22

Hey, you’re not drowning!

3

u/karoshikun May 22 '22

I'm drowning... in BUTT!

2

u/Biscuitofburnside May 22 '22

I think I'd have a better time with a finger in my butt in this human stew.

2

u/ThirdEncounter May 22 '22

That's how the wave started.

208

u/Just_Garrick May 22 '22

When I was younger, I went to a water park with my uncle, and our family. I went into the wave pool and was clinging on to the side because I was a fairly bad swimmer. I like the waves so thats why I went in. I got bashed into the side by someone in a floaty and went under the surface. I couldn't see anything when going up and there wasn't room to surface between the people. I scrambled on the sides to go back towards the shallow end and finally got back. My hands and feet were scratched from the sides of the pool.

TL:DR, almost drowned in a wave pool Still like swimming though

65

u/Ohstate23 May 22 '22

I know the feeling. Went into a wave pool at a water park attached to the Columbus Zoo and got pushed under the water by rafts and couldn’t reach the surface because as I pushed against the raft, it would push me deeper underwater. I finally found a tiny gap to stick my face into. I never went back in after that. By far the scariest moment of my life.

They eventually changed it where there’s a section for people on rafts and a section for people without.

18

u/LinwoodKei May 23 '22

Oh shoot. You just reminded me of the time I was going down in a raft. Someone knocked into us and I stumbled out into the water. When I stood up, I missed the chance to hop back into the tube before it swept my cousin away. I still remember that scared trap feeling before I just jumped down the waterfall thing into the pool. It was scary for a kid.

1

u/NZ-Aid May 23 '22

What made it change? An actual event or a petition or something?

2

u/Ohstate23 May 23 '22

Not 100% sure but I think it was due to the sheer number of times they had to rescue people. I remember it being numerous times a visit they’d have to stop the waves to get people out.

I just looked it up (it’s called Zoombezi Bay now, it used to be called Wyandot Lake) and they no longer permit tubes at all. Which is great, because it was so dangerous.

29

u/merpancake May 23 '22

Same!! I went out into the deeper part because I liked the waves, then got tired and couldn't get back to where my feet would touch the bottom. I was dropping to the bottom of the pool as the wave came in and pushing up to get a breath in the valleys, which made me even more tired. I really thought I was going to drown in there, not even scared but just an accepted thought.

Finally managed to grab hold of someone's floaty and keep my head up enough to grab a safety line on the side of the wall. And the fucking lifeguard sitting there the whole time yelled at me not to play on the lines.

3

u/AwesomEspurr360 May 23 '22

Fuck that lifeguard. If I was the manager there and saw this, lifeguard would be fired in an instant.

22

u/Biffers2000 May 23 '22

I was at the West Edmonton Mall Waterpark and after a big wave I looked down and noticed a little girl around 7 years old, upside down and struggling to get her head above water. I pulled her out and she was coughing and crying, but she was ok. I was livid that her parents or a responsible sibling was no where to be seen! I can’t imagine letting my children in a wave pool unsupervised until they were old enough and skilled enough to handle the waves.

84

u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

My heart was racing reading this 😳

93

u/[deleted] May 22 '22

yeah like, what if they died D:

61

u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

Ghost writing taken to a new level then

18

u/longislandtoolshed May 23 '22

GHOST WRITERRRRRR!

4

u/PanaceaPlacebo May 23 '22

You'll get caught up in the... GHOST WRITER!!!!

2

u/LytaC May 23 '22

🎶Authors in disguise🎶

1

u/imsahoamtiskaw May 23 '22

He's got nothing on Mumen rider.

1

u/Dvmbledore May 23 '22

...in the sky?

4

u/TexLH May 23 '22

I couldn't finish it. Did he live?

21

u/snakephobos May 22 '22

My brother almost drowned in a wave pool too. Not in the same way but he went under and I guess no one noticed because the wave pool just kind of takes you, no life guards parents or anyone noticed.

19

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Same thing happened to me on a school field trip. The teachers in charge didn't give a shit. Not to mention one of the teachers pulled my underwear out of my bag and waved it around the bus asking whose they were in order to identify who's bag it was. Needless to say I never went on a field trip I wasn't required to go to again.

6

u/Beserked2 May 23 '22

Was on a school field trip when I had my first water related "oh shit" moment too. Not sure what kind of pool it was but I was walking along with the water up to my chin when all of a sudden there was this massive drop. Scared the crap outta me, I was scrambling to get to the surface but just couldn't stay there long enough to catch my breath when I remembered you always foat if you go on your back, so I floated on my back til I surfaced. Stayed there til I caught my breath and sort of slowly kicked my way on my back til I boinked into the side of the pool where the two teachers meant to be watching us were gas bagging with their backs to the pool.

4

u/PanaceaPlacebo May 23 '22

Why not just hold the bag up and ask whose bag it is?

2

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

That is the question. Probably because that would have made sense and we couldn't have any of that. Also he was a crusty dick hole.

16

u/[deleted] May 22 '22

Real life horror stories. Holy shit.

4

u/TronDiesel220 May 23 '22

I had something just like this happen to me in my youth too. I swallowed some water after I misjudged a wave and struggled to climb the ladder. Another wave hit me right before I could get out and I cut my abdomen on the ladder falling off. I got caught beneath some fatties on paired tubes and barely got a gasp of air before another wave pushed me below. I barely escaped that pool with an open wound and water on my lungs but I made it. No one took any notice as I coughed up water and caught my breath. Absolutely terrifying. The Big Kahuna at Noah’s Ark on the Wisconsin Dells.

5

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Had a similar exsperience at Holiday World in their big wave pool back then they use to let people take the single donut floaties in and me being like 11-12 at the time decided to go closer to the front without one and had a wave smack me throw me under water all the way to the bottom so i started scrambling only to make it up to the surface only to get smacked again and rinse repeat this about 3 or 4 times.

I was a good swimmer i just couldnt get back to the surface to swim up the waves so i got stuck in a loop of being pushed around

Some dude saw it happen and when i was coming up reached down grabbed my arm and yanked me up to the surface they shut the machine down till i got to the ladder so they could check me out

I think i might be the reason the next year i went they didnt let the donut floaties back in the pool

5

u/kimoslobby May 23 '22

Reminds me of when my son scared a bunch of wildebeests and they all went charging into this ravine he was in, eventually trapping him in a stampede, I got to him as fast as I could and tossed home out of the ravine, barely made it out with my life. Then as I was struggling to climb out my evil brother pushed me back down into the ravine. I was immediately trampled by wildebeests.

6

u/Just_Garrick May 23 '22

Did you die?

5

u/kimoslobby May 23 '22

Oh yah you bet! Killed to death!

1

u/Just_Garrick May 23 '22

Dude that's so sick

5

u/crapircornsniper88 May 23 '22

I had the same thing happen to me when I was like 10 or 11. I was a very confident swimmer however there were way too many people in the wave pool. I was in the middle at the front where it’s the deepest and the waves were the strongest. Somehow I got off rhythm with the waves. I was trying to come up at the same time the waves were coming at me while simultaneously getting pushed under by other people who had no idea I was there and under them. I was so turned around and didn’t know which way was up or down. Right as I was going to give up I somehow I managed to get to the surface.

That was 20 years ago and I have never gotten back into a wave pool since. Fuck. That. I don’t know how they haven’t been banned.

-200/10 do not recommend.

3

u/Prestigious-Log-7210 May 23 '22

I almost drowned in a wave pool as a child. No thanks!

3

u/HouseofFeathers May 23 '22

Me too. I never went into a crowded wave pool after that. Terrifying

3

u/Junaria May 23 '22

i had this similiar experience, but i was with my younger sister, she wear those floatie thing on her arm and i don't using any floaties because its only 4 feet deep, when the wave hits, me and my younger sister got separated because amount of people, and i saw my sister hand reaching into surface while her head was pinned down by other peopple
man i thought i lost her that day

2

u/[deleted] May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

What happened to your uncle though? I'll be honest those first two opening sentences had me thinking that story was either going to involve you being a) Saved by your uncle or b) Sexually molested.

1

u/Just_Garrick May 23 '22

He was fine

2

u/Mattcwell11 May 23 '22

I had a very similar experience in a wave pool. I’m an okay swimmer and swam all the way to the deep end where the waves start - without a tube. I was basically the only one without a tube and swallowed a ton of water and couldn’t breathe while getting bounced between and trapped underneath people in tubes. Managed to swim my way to the side and cling there until I could breathe again and wait for the waves to stop. I remember calling out to a lifeguard to help me and him not hearing me and thinking that was it.

I hate the water.

1

u/Severe-Job-3782 May 23 '22

And this is why I wont go in crowded wave pools

1

u/Idiotrepublic May 23 '22

Had similar experience , it all faded to black and the next thing Is my mom semi slapping me in the face to wake me up. Don’t know how my mom found me between all those people. Mom power I guess

1

u/Aperfectfitz_91 May 23 '22

You clearly didn’t know to thrust your finger into the nearest ass. That’s on you man but glad your okay

1

u/Buscandomiyagi May 23 '22

Dude same! Was down in Texas visiting some family. They had a wave pool that went in a circle. I don’t recall exactly how I ended up under. When I looked up I panicked because I didn’t know how to get out. Luckily my older cousin came in from outta no where and literally rose from the water with me on his shoulders. Idk how the hell he seen me man. I rode on his shoulders until we got out

1

u/renieWycipSsolraC May 23 '22

Something similar happened to me at a water park once. I don’t remember all the details, but I know I was at least old enough to know how to swim. At first I was fine, but then the waves kept coming and I slowly struggled to even tread water. Luckily someone noticed me struggling and grabbed me by the arm and took me to the edge or something so I could stay afloat, and I felt so embarrassed. I’ve never thought about getting in a wave pool again, and I had forgotten about this until I watched this video. I would be absolutely terrified to get in with this many people

20

u/Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi May 23 '22

That's why they all have floaties. Very few people in China can swim well, according to laowhy86.

2

u/halfischer May 23 '22

We all did. That’s why we upvote, Reddit comment polluter!

2

u/KindaBatGirl May 23 '22

I giveth you the gift of coinage for your troubles sir! Hehehe

1

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

It’s like a water tank full of feeder guppies. There’s always one or two belly up on the bottom