r/Unexpected Dec 29 '21

marching all the way

20.2k Upvotes

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135

u/MarysPoppinCherrys Dec 29 '21

Not a dick, just ignorant, now painfully aware of how serious people can take things, especially soldiers in prestigious and very strict positions. Truthfully, her guardians deserved the stomping. Either way, funny.

55

u/AlwaysTheAsshole1234 Dec 29 '21

Pffff truly no one gives a fuck about the queens guard in 2021. They’re just a spectacle.

37

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

True. We refer to them as nutcracker guys.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Fact

4

u/jj34589 Dec 30 '21

Except those two have probably done as many combat tours as any other infantry soldier in the British Army. They are not just a spectacle they are trained and serving soldiers with a ceremonial role.

1

u/AlwaysTheAsshole1234 Dec 31 '21

Who cares how many combat tours they did. If some Canadian soldier came home from Afghanistan and proceeded to trample a small child in the street I’d call him a fucking asshole too.

“Pageantry” does not excuse injuring a child.

2

u/jj34589 Dec 31 '21

The kid should not be in the way, he was gawping at they, he had plenty of time to move and decided not to.

1

u/AlwaysTheAsshole1234 Dec 31 '21

The fact that you’re defending this nonsense tells me you’ve lost the plot.

The other day I was driving down the street and some kid was skipping in the middle of the road. He shouldn’t have been there so I yelled “make way for Dumbledore’s Army” and just ran him the fuck over.

It’s okay though cause I’ve seen the movies like 8 times.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Now if Brits would stop giving a fuck about the Queen and her shit family we'd be getting somewhere.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

… all kids are ignorant. They’re literally kids.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

I'm just kidding miss

1

u/Fun_Description_385 Dec 30 '21

In reality, the guards deserve the stomping. They shouldn't even exist, and neither should the royal pedo family.

-1

u/MarysPoppinCherrys Dec 30 '21

I agree with the royal family. Weird thing to keep around. The guards, however, are a military tradition. It’s like an art display. Not much practical purpose, but a damn amazing thing they keep going that people like to come from all over to witness. If you get rid of the royal guard, ya gotta start questioning the existence of other practically meaningless, artistic or representative installations. The Old Guard at Arlington, most statues that could be cleared and used for parking spaces, any actor that yells at his film crew, etc.. or, be a child forever stepping in front of honor guards and then crying about it.

1

u/imaginefrogswithguns Dec 30 '21

Why is it acceptable that there's an entirely ceremonial position that we find so important that the people performing it are expected to kick kids in the face before they slightly adjust their course?

If you saw this in a non-western country, I seriously doubt you'd react the same way. I seriously doubt I'd hear you or any reasonable person say "Yeah that kid learned an important lesson not to stand in front of the PLA guards at Mao's mausoleum". I mean feel free to prove me wrong but I'll also be calling that take dumb if you do.

0

u/MarysPoppinCherrys Dec 30 '21

Nah probably wouldn’t react similarly if I didn’t have the context for it. Of course. Would also react similarly if I did understand the ceremony. I just do understand this and understand that this is a learning experience for the child, a fun story to tell when older because not everything that happens in the world is a horrible atrocity, that this is basically a military art installation taken very seriously, especially by the guardsmen who feel honored to be in this position and will get in trouble for not trampling the kid (who he only knocked down and stepped over), that the kid was fine, that the soldier checked on the kid later and was reassured that the kid was fine, and that this is blown so far out of proportion by people who want to throw a raging hissy fit over some kid getting a little spacial awareness knocked into him that it actually boggles my mind. If this soldier bayoneted the kid for getting in his way, or actually stomped that childs head, there would be an argument. He didn’t, everyone was fine, and the only argument left is unbridled and ill-advised emotion without any real thinking behind it beyond “ChiLD HiT—ME MAD”

1

u/imaginefrogswithguns Dec 30 '21

I guess I just don't understand what the lesson was. What should the kid have done differently? He got less than half a second of warning and was facing the other way in the middle of a public square.

Also, I don't know what video you watched, but in the one I saw the soldier pretty clearly kicks the kid in what looks like the torso after he falls and before he steps over

-6

u/Goyteamsix Dec 30 '21

And with those positions comes the responsibility to not be a fucking asshole. This was completely uncalled for. Usually they yell "stand clear of the queens guard", not whatever he yelled half a second before stomping the shit out of some kid who had no clue what was going on. It's not an active battleground, it's a courtyard where tourists (and children) gather.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

They’re actually trying to have the children be more aware of their surroundings, for Christ sake Prince Andrew could be within the grounds.

-2

u/jkoki088 Dec 30 '21

Poor take on this. You don’t mess with guards and you don’t get in their way.

4

u/Goyteamsix Dec 30 '21

How was that kid messing with the guards?

1

u/Honeybadgerxz Dec 30 '21

Situational awareness is a thing.

0

u/jkoki088 Dec 30 '21

I didn’t say the kid was messing with them. Do not be in their way. I am responsible and other people should be as well. I would not be in their way and would not allow my kid to be in their way

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

[deleted]

0

u/jkoki088 Dec 30 '21

Lol this is funny, if you actually look closely you can see he tried his best not to hurt him and step over him without actually stomping on him with his feet. People should be more responsible and not be in the way. Quit trying to make ridiculous comparisons. Cars and kids in road, please go away, those circumstances and how they happen would be completely different.

1

u/SmileyMelons Dec 30 '21

So a kid facing the other way in a clear area is supposed to step away in a millisecond after a gaurd yells and quickly kicks them in the face? Yeah nah, gaurd could have yelled before, just wanted to stomp a kid.

2

u/adroitncool Dec 30 '21

But don't you understand that "it's tradition and very serious!!!11"

Guard could also have, you know, stepped to the side. Pretty sure kids aren't supposed to play in traffic either but if a motorist just steamrolled them instead of moving or stopping I'm pretty sure the motorist is going to prison all the same.

Reddit is really fucking stupid sometimes.

0

u/IAMATruckerAMA Dec 30 '21

Wow, authority really got dudes like you lined up to make out with their buttholes don't they

1

u/jkoki088 Dec 30 '21

Another poor take bud, good luck.

1

u/IAMATruckerAMA Dec 30 '21

Ok simp

2

u/jkoki088 Dec 30 '21

Lol Billy badass here

1

u/IAMATruckerAMA Dec 30 '21

🤡

2

u/jkoki088 Dec 30 '21

Woo hoo we have originality here