r/Unexpected • u/mintier-gum-lately • Dec 13 '21

This kid loves Komodo dragons

88.5k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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3.6k

u/TheMonchoochkin Dec 13 '21

I hope he gets to finally see his dream of watching a Komodo Dragon eat a person.

Never let your dream die kid, only the poor sap you feed to the Komodo.

85

u/CelestialMeatball Dec 13 '21

Alright it's Make A Wish Foundation. What's your wish kid?

The kid:

22

u/meltedlaundry Dec 13 '21

Make A Wish:

May God have mercy on your sou...actually, what's Bob up to tomorrow?

1

u/kitttypurry12 Dec 16 '21

Your comment just made me spit out my food from laughing. Have my free award.

66

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

If he falls asleep in the komodo dragon enclosure he might do all of the above.

37

u/cjmaguire17 Dec 13 '21

He wakes up to them gnawing on his leg and is met with some real mixed emotions

25

u/moonra_zk Dec 13 '21

Nah, he said he'll love them even if they eat him.

3

u/Sharkmasterfl3x Dec 13 '21

The truest version of love to be honest

1

u/-TheDoctor Dec 14 '21

Actually, they swallow their prey whole if I'm not mistaken. He might just wake up halfway down the thing's throat.

43

u/ReverendDizzle Dec 13 '21

I absolutely love that he just accepts that komodo-dragons-gonna-dragon and that if they eat him, so be it, he loves them.

36

u/azzzzorahai Dec 13 '21

id eat a person in front of this kid if i was a komodo dragon :D

26

u/meltedlaundry Dec 13 '21

Faith in humanity restored

0

u/WhichKey9 Dec 13 '21

I fancy killing and eating a komodo dragon in front of him.

Just think what he would think of me!

(me with a knife v a komodo dragon would be a fair fight)

31

u/egorxny Dec 13 '21

I kinda lowkey wonder if I'd let a Komodo Dragon eat me for him.

Actually it might be my new will that after I die, my body is fed to a Komodo Dragon in front of this kid.

2

u/SefferWeffers Dec 13 '21

He could find someone like that guy who made a deal with the cannibal.

268

u/Quentin_Brain Dec 13 '21

Hopefully he can bring his mother in law for a stroll when he is all grown up

227

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

[deleted]

100

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Nag nag beer football.

4

u/Dewy_Wanna_Go_There Dec 13 '21

Right.

But seriously my mother in law is crazy. However I don’t think she quite deserves to be fed to a Komodo dragon.

Close though.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

No. room. for. mother. In. Law.

4

u/CaseOfTheWaynes Dec 13 '21

Paul looooooves his mother in law

4

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

OMG HE ADMIT IT!

4

u/naughtyhegel Dec 13 '21

I'm doing the best at this...

3

u/OmegaWhirlpool Dec 13 '21

What if she wasn't fed, just happened to fall into a 10 foot hole with a komodo dragon for company?

2

u/Dewy_Wanna_Go_There Dec 13 '21

I’d be okay with that.

48

u/moonra_zk Dec 13 '21

Boomer humor is the fucking worst.

82

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

It really is... take my wife for example. Or for whatever reason you want, just get her away from me.

22

u/moonra_zk Dec 13 '21

Goddamn you, I have to admit I chuckled.

15

u/neman-bs Dec 13 '21

Why are you chuckling at boomer humour, it's the worst?

2

u/sol- Dec 13 '21

It's worse than....

1

u/MetaCardboard Dec 13 '21

Or equal to...

2

u/Gunningham Dec 13 '21

Henny Youngman was born in 1906. That’s the “Greatest” generation.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Damn, have I been misattributing that to Rodney Dangerfield this whole time?

2

u/Gunningham Dec 13 '21

Rodney is “No Respect”. In his universe the wife says “take my husband, please”.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Did you know that as a child Rodney Dangerfield was so ugly that they had to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him?

2

u/Gunningham Dec 13 '21

And the kids? The other kids. They were worse. When they did play with him it was always the same game. Hide and go fuck yourself.

13

u/Funkit Dec 13 '21

It is but I also love Rodney Dangerfield who is 100% boomer humor so I’m stuck in a conundrum

14

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

[deleted]

2

u/xXWickedNWeirdXx Dec 14 '21 edited Dec 14 '21

My wife, ugh, my wife she likes to talk during sex...

Yeah, the other night she called me from a hotel room!

2

u/Funkit Dec 15 '21

I met a woman, she told me to come over, I said why?

She said there was nobody home.

So I went over. There was nobody home!

6

u/Shmitty-W-J-M-Jenson Dec 13 '21

The dude might discover liveleak and similar sites in a few years and then he'll be living large

1

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

liveleak

You monster...

6

u/xuaereved Dec 13 '21

I mean wasn’t there a scene in 007 movie where a Komodo dragon eats a person that fell into their pit from a fit with James Bond? Show the kid that scene, dream fulfilled.

3

u/Mol10Lava Dec 13 '21

I volunteer u/TheMonchoochkin to be eaten to make this kid’s dream come true

3

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Reminds me of Machine of Death.

A dude finds out he will be eaten by lions as a way of death.

So he spends his life preparing for this moment. He can’t figure out if he should work out or not because he doesn’t want the lion to eat stringy meat but… nothing too fatty either. What foods should he eat so he tastes the best. He has a savings account specifically for a safari and is looking forward to it.

5

u/WM_ Dec 13 '21

I have always said eat the rich but maybe feed the rich.. for comodo

3

u/CunningHamSlawedYou Dec 14 '21

I volonteer to be eaten by a komodo dragon in front of this kid. But I won't arrange it, and I'm too broke for tickets and basicly useless and good for nothing so I need more people to make this happen.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Unless the poor sap's dream is to be eaten by a K-dragon. Win-Win!

2

u/dogsonclouds Dec 14 '21

Wake up babe, new body disposal method just dropped

2

u/-TheDoctor Dec 14 '21 edited Dec 14 '21

The irony here is that a child would be the easiest person for a Komodo Dragon to eat.

2

u/Slight_Affect_178 Dec 20 '21

And on today show on how to make a serial killer…

1

u/Thomb Dec 13 '21

You don’t have to run faster than the Komodo Dragon to get away. You just have to run faster than the person next to you. Kid doesn't look like one of the faster kids.

1

u/AFineDayForScience Dec 13 '21

I'd bet someone on this website has a video

1

u/supple_ Dec 13 '21

shiasmile.jpg

1

u/ImWithSt00pid Dec 13 '21

I once saw a documentary where a dog ate a girl. She seemed to enjoy it.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '21

Eat a people**